JaimeSTL

Hi everybody! I haven't been around in quite awhile and thought I'd check in on you guys. It's hard to believe it has been two years since we all had surgery. The last year has been very discouraging, weight wise. After I lost my baby girl last February, I didn't care about losing weight at all. I blamed myself for what happened to her and I think I ate to punish myself. I was able to maintain my weight fairly well, until the fall. Between the holidays, grief, and a medication change, I gained about 30 pounds between October and January. I've been very upset and disappointed about this. However, there isn't much I can do about it right now. I'm pregnant again. I'm 13 weeks now and due in October. We wanted to get pregnant again so badly, it took several months of trying, and I was to the point of giving up for a little while and trying to lose some weight first. We're hoping and praying for the best and very nervous as we get closer to the point where we lost Sydney (20 weeks). The doctors are taking precautions this time. Last time we had no idea something like that would happen. Glad you are all doing well. I'm going to try to pop in here more often.

Woohoo! I've finally lost weight. I'm down 8 lbs from the highest weight I saw post-baby (270). I only hit that weight a day or two and I was more consistently right around 267. Today I was 262, so I'm calling it a 5 lb loss because I think those other 3 lbs were water weight. It has only been about 10 days since I started losing again, so I'm pretty happy with that. I see my doctor again on 8/5, so I'd love to be back to my lowest weight or pretty close to it by then.

Well, he did say some helpful things. He said that I've spent a lot of time helping other people through my blog, speaking at seminars, going to the support group, etc, but now I need to concentrate on myself. I haven't done those things for others though. They help me too. I'm still going to the support groups, but I haven't blogged or been active here in a while. I need to get back in those habits because they are a big part of my motivation. I feel the same way, Melissa. When I was at my lowest weight, I felt so different than I do right now. I've gained about 20 lbs from my lowest but it just makes me feel so much fatter and really unhealthy. I have another 17 or so pounds to lose to get back down to that weight again.

Hi everybody. I haven't been able to check in much because I took a new position at work and have no time to get online. When I get home at night, I'm exhausted and don't really get on either. Things are pretty much the same for me. I am, amazingly, down a couple of pounds this week, but I'm not really sure how. Hopefully it will keep going this way from now on. I saw my doctor at the beginning of the month and it was not a good appointment at all. I'd gained 4 lbs since I saw him in April. He was pretty disappointed and lectured me about it. He refused to do an adjustment, but I don't need one anyway. I have good restriction. I guess, to him, going through a pregnancy and then grieving for my baby isn't a good reason to slack off on weight loss. It is really the last thing on my mind most of the time when I'm struggling with everything else. Of course, it seems like most people think they've given us adequate time to grieve and we should be over it by now. Nobody gets it at all.

((((Ezma)))) I can relate to all of this. I am just so depressed and even though I know I need to stop eating and lose weight, I can't make myself do it. Food is comfort to me. I was at my surgeon's support group this week and they are now bringing in a psychotherapist to run the group. She said that it makes sense that we try to fill our emptiness with food during grief. I also tell myself that my daughter wouldn't want me to do this to myself and she loves me and wants me to be okay. I have a few good days, drop a couple of pounds, then start eating too much and go back up. I'm not sure what will help at this point. It makes me feel even worse to watch my weight go back up. :party:

I am so sorry for your loss. I got pregnant 7 months post-op, but lost my baby girl at 20 weeks in February. I went into pre-term labor from an infection and had to deliver her. It has been the hardest thing I've ever dealt with. She was born alive and passed away in my arms two hours later. I wish I could give you some advice, but I'm struggling. I just eat and eat and I don't care. I'm trying really hard to get back in the right mindset to lose weight again. I gained 20 lbs while pregnant, lost most of it within a few days of delivery, but I've since gained back 15 lbs. food has always been my comfort and I don't know how to not want that. I have found great support through my hospital and a group called SHARE. You should find out if there is a SHARE group near you. They support women who have lost babies at any stage of pregnancy or as infants. Their website is Share Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support Inc.. You can also feel free to PM me and I'll give you my email address so we can chat if you'd like. I have lots of links, blogs, and other resources I can send you.

As of today, I am recommitting to my band. I am so tired of watching the scale creep upward. I have to do this. I refuse to gain back the weight I've lost. I've been hoping to lose 10 lbs by the time I see my surgeon again, but that's 2 weeks from tomorrow so I'm not sure if I can manage that now. I'll take anything at this point though. I'm going to start tracking my calories again, drinking all my water and exercising. Wish me luck!

I was out of town for work Mon-Wed this week. I had my first PB experience while I was at breakfast with my boss and another manager yesterday. We decided to try the hotel breakfast since it was free and they didn't have anything I could eat. I decided to try a piece of peanut butter toast and then I found their boiled eggs. I ate a bite of the toast and decided it wouldn't go down well then started on the eggs. I felt the stuck feeling, then started sliming. I was ok at first then I coughed and almost threw up on the table. Ugh, that wasn't fun at all. Then I did it again today at lunch. I barely ate anything either time. I have to eat very very slowly and no more bread (which hadn't been a problem until now). Hopefully I can really jumpstart my weight loss like this, but if it continues like this, I might consider a slight unfill. I think right now, it is more about relearning the band rules and eating small amounts.

Oh Ezma, I am so sorry to hear about your husband. (((((hugs))))) for you. I completely understand about just not caring about eating well. I'm there too and trying really hard to stop my bad habits and start caring again. I had my fill on Monday and I am relearning what it is like to have restriction. It has been a long time since I had any. I find myself eating too fast or too much and having pain. Trying to figure that out and stop doing it. No weight loss this week, but at least I didn't gain more. :-

RSG, I used my elliptical 5 times a week or so when I had it here. I started off really slow, about 5 minutes the first two times, then 7, then 10, slowly moving up to 30 minutes within about 10 days. When I was trying to build up my time, I did it everyday, then started skipping a day here and there. Melissa--I'm sorry you're feeling down and that you weren't pregnant this month. I've been having some pain in my back and hips which I think are related to the birth. I'm going to see a chiropractor soon so maybe I can get that figured out. Right now whenever I start walking or working out, it hurts right off and I have to stop.

That's pretty common. I also have PCOS and I started cycling within a few months of having surgery and got pregnant at 7 months post-op (big surprise, we'd needed fertility drugs in the past).

I see my surgeon tomorrow. I really need to get my elliptical back. My mom took it while I was pregnant because we didn't have room when the Christmas tree was up and stuff then she wanted to try it out. I need to get it back from her so I can get back to using it. I hope I will get scheduled for a fill for next week or even get one in the office tomorrow. We'll see.

I was banded Feb.28, 2008. My band changed my life and my outlook on everything. By September, I was down 105 lbs. In October, I found out I was pregnant. In February I went into preterm labor and ultimately delivered my baby girl way too soon for her to survive. She was born and passed away in my arms on February 10th. To say I'm struggling is an understatement. When I'm depressed or stressed, I turn to food. I've been eating pure crap lately. I gained 20 lbs during my pregnancy and within 4 days of delivering, I lost about 15 lbs of that, plateau'ed for a while, then started gaining. I've gained back about 10 lbs. I go in to see my surgeon on Wednesday and I am dreading it. On top of everything else, on April 9th, I had to have my gallbladder out. I have to get back on the bandwagon. I have about 80 lbs left to lose. I just don't know how to get my head back in the game. So much of my success last year was because my head was in it. If I made bad choices, I owned them and moved on. I allowed myself treats and I was perfectly satisfied by one small piece of candy or whatever. Now, I feel like I did before the band, a bottomless pit that just eats without thinking. Any advice is appreciated.

I had my gallbladder out last week. I'd been having some episodes that I thought were food sticking, but now I suspect it was my gallbladder. I haven't had anything like that since. I also feel like I'm eating less and my band seems to have tightened a little. Today I weighed 4 lbs less than I did when I checked into the hospital last week, which is almost miraculous to me. I'm really hoping I can get back on the bandwagon now and get moving again. I see my surgeon on the 22nd and will decide if I need another fill then.

I am having surgery this week. On Tuesday night, I went to the ER in major pain in my chest and back. Turns out I had gallstones and need my gallbladder taken out. Fun! So I go in on Thursday and will come home on Friday. It will be a lap procedure and my band doctor will do it so I don't have to worry about someone who isn't familiar with the band cutting my tubing or something. I'm thinking about asking if I can get an adjustment while I'm in the hospital on Friday morning. He has some bands to place that day and those people will all go to radiology for their post-op check. LOL I don't know though. I wonder if I might get tighter from IV fluids. Anytime I'm retaining water or swollen, I feel tighter. I need some restriction badly.