I was banded Feb.28, 2008. My band changed my life and my outlook on everything. By September, I was down 105 lbs. In October, I found out I was pregnant. In February I went into preterm labor and ultimately delivered my baby girl way too soon for her to survive. She was born and passed away in my arms on February 10th.

To say I'm struggling is an understatement. When I'm depressed or stressed, I turn to food. I've been eating pure crap lately. I gained 20 lbs during my pregnancy and within 4 days of delivering, I lost about 15 lbs of that, plateau'ed for a while, then started gaining. I've gained back about 10 lbs. I go in to see my surgeon on Wednesday and I am dreading it. On top of everything else, on April 9th, I had to have my gallbladder out.

I have to get back on the bandwagon. I have about 80 lbs left to lose. I just don't know how to get my head back in the game. So much of my success last year was because my head was in it. If I made bad choices, I owned them and moved on. I allowed myself treats and I was perfectly satisfied by one small piece of candy or whatever. Now, I feel like I did before the band, a bottomless pit that just eats without thinking.

Any advice is appreciated.

Jaime,

My heart breaks for you, I myself have never lost a child, but my sister-in-law did and I've seen how devestating it can be. You are still greiving and that is understandable.

Instead of turning to food try calling a friend, talking a walk, or maybe even journaling. It might help you to get our feelings out also have you considered looking for a support group?

You had great success, I hope that God will give you the comfort you need to heal.

Wow, you have had a really hard time. You are naturally off kilter right now, you had a pregnancy which leaves your hormones all out of whack, lost a child and now need surgery. Dont be so hard on yourself, allow yourself the time you need to heal, but turn your weight loss desire into part of the healing process. The gallbladder surgery is not difficult, so dont worry too much about that, but start slow, each day tell yourself you are starting over and going to make good choices. Dont worry about yesterday, it is gone and all it does is tell you where you may have made a bad choice. You had amazing success with your band so tell yourself you just took a small break and now you are back on the success wagon. If you find yourself sad, and tempted, do take a walk, call a friend, do some exercise, or another favorite activity to divert your attention. My thoughts are with you in this difficult time. Hang in there, it will get better each day.

Jaime,

I gained the most weight ever about 15 years ago. My husband and I lost three babies in the span of 2 years. I know what your going through as I was a mess. I finally went to a therapist and she told me I had not gone through the stages of grief with my first baby when I was dealing with the loss of the second and third. Remember, you need time to heal. Please consider meeting with a therapist and possibly taking some anti-depressants to get you through the tough times. I was on them for a little over a year (not permanent) but it really helped to steady me and get me through the rough times. Good luck to you and hang in there. I know it's hard sometimes, but I for one will be thinking of you.

Hi Jaime,

First let me say that I am so glad to see you're back around!! I've missed you. However I do understand you were going through some very bad times and you needed space to grieve.

You will likely grieve forever, but I just want you to know that we are all here for you. Even when you hit a rough patch, which is now.

Gaining a bit with the band is actually more common than some might have been led to believe. However, the good part is, we could have ended up gaining a great deal more had we not had the band. So, it does help some with that regard.

If and when you are truly ready, and are looking for kind support - I would like to have you visit my thread. I also had a set back, for months and I also gained some weight back. But, with the help of my friends and their awesome support, we are all working in getting back on track.

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f15/do-you-need-lose-those-pounds-youve-gained-91795/

I do hope to see you there!

You can do it, and it IS possible to feel that drive and dedication to doing it the bandster way again. I'm proof of it!

I cant even imagine the pain of losing a baby. I am so sorry for your loss. You will get back on track again..dont beat yourself up. Maybe find a buddy to help you. Hang in there!

Sorry to here about your loss. I would just take it one day at time and deal with one issue at time. Before you know it you will be back on track. As everyone here says we are all here to help each other out. This board has been a great help to me and helping me to keep on the wagon and not fall off.

Chris