Turler

I'll help you BG if you need me! Ohio isn't too exciting, but we have some history here!
~C

WASA: Thank you. I know you weren't talking to me, but it spoke to me!
~c

Turler,
Did you have a fill yet? What I felt was intense hunger that started overnight a week ago (about 4 weeks post op)...hungry all week and ate twice as many calories as I had been just to not feel like I was starving. But I had a fill yesterday (3.5 ccs in a 9 cc band), and now back to being restricted and not hungry all the time.
I had GAINED 3 pounds in the past 2 weeks and was stressed out about it, but apparently it was Water weight, since this am I back down 2 pounds below what I was before. Go figure.
My dietitian says it happens...just keep the Protein up to at least 60 grams/day so metabolism doesn't shut down. And get fills when the hunger comes back...because as the fat around the stomach goes down, the band gets loose. It may take a number of fills to hit the sweet spot of longer lasting restriction. Everybody is different.
Sounds to me like you need a fill...

Oh sweetie! I'm so sorry about all that! I feel so bad that you got those kind of responses.
First of all, your mother-in-law was just being hurtful She knew that what she was saying was a 'dig' at you and there was nothing productive about it. She's probably just jealous. You know how there are people out there that need to tear someone down in order to make themselves feel better? Maybe she is one of them.
The bank lady...well, sadly it can be an honest mistake. Maybe now that you've lost so much, you may be carrying the remainder of your weight in your belly. I'm sure she meant no harm and since she hasn't seen you in a long while she may have mistaken your smile and happiness for one of an expectant mother!
Your feelings are valid. One thing...you said you texted and called your friends and family members. What did THEY have to say? I'm guessing your MIL was the only negative feedback you got from them. Try to focus on the positive remarks you got, she's not worth your tears!
Oh, and step away from the donuts!
~C

I have a Lili & Casey too - (dogs)
Lili - 16yr Long hair Chi
Casey - 8yr Golden Ret / Yellow Lab Mix
Sal - 15yr Teacup Poodle
Babe - 1yr Red Heeler
Skippy - 12yr Choc Lab
Red (my avitar) - 2yr Red Lab
Dogs ARE a lot of work. Hubby and I have spent the last 18hrs in Animal ER w/our Red Lab. He was neutered on Monday and well they didn't take the full scrotum out (sorry guys reading this) and he developed blood clots. Scrotum Ablation, what a mess....and so was I (he is my lucky charm).
I don't often give my hubby credit - but last night while we were waiting on the vet to diagnose the bleeding, there was a family that had brought in their cat (not sure the problem). They could not afford the $480 fee to save the cat (parents & 3 boys crying). I looked at my husband, and He just handed the staff his CC to pay their fee.
I had been crying enough - but that made me smile.
When we arrived this afternoon to pick up our big guy, they had come back w/a lucky bamboo plant for us - very appreciative for helping their family pet. ....
I asked hubby if we can get a cat and call it bamboo or lucky and he told me "NO".... will still work it:)

I'm glad you all agree! I am tired of the standard. Tired of the airbrushing, theatre make-up, hair extension, etc. etc. Beauty in this country (USA) is seemingly only for the rich/famous. Why can't these models, actors/actresses and spokesmodels get by on what they were given naturally? That is how the rest of us look---just as we are. There is NO WAY I can be convinced that everyone of them have such perfect complexions, silky shiney hair and great bodies. They don't even seem real. We can never look like that, unless of course we come into millions too! LOL
That is also why I liked the Dove campaign. It's refreshing. I like seeing their freckles and curly hair, gray hair, wrinkles, crooked teeth, saddle-bags and all that baggage that WE come with! I want to see more of it. I think the more we are exposed to that kind of advertising, the better. Maybe we need to 'start over', wash the slate clean and give all of us a fresh perspective on what's beautiful. And hey, we should give a shout out to the women who agreed to do the campaign in all their true, un-retouched, un-airbrushed nakedness!! Woot woot!
~C

I only brought up the Dove campaign because I thought that it was a wonderful depiction of healthy! I think what's important to remember is that there are so many variables. Spouting out sizes like 16 vs. 2 (US) is like spouting out weight. It's ridiculous unless you have all the facts. How tall, body fat %, BMI, health risk factors, etc. They are all just numbers. I think we get too obsessed with the numbers.
We watch our scales religiously, every day, hoping for the mark to change. We analyze our bodies in the mirror. We judge ourselves everytime we get dressed. It just goes on and on. It really is possible to be healthy and overweight. It may not be IDEAL, but it can be done.
There are people out there that are just plain tiny. Little tiny people that have small bones, small frames and don't weigh much. Some can only stomach a yogurt and a granola bar as that's all they can hold. Others can out eat any one of us at a buffet!! LOL They don't necessarily try to be that small, they just are. And guess what? Their weight doesn't make them exempt from health issues. They have high blood pressure, heart disease, cancer and a whole slew of other health problems.
I realize that for the majority of us that are struggling with our weight, it's because we crossed the line. Doctor's don't usually refer overweight people to Bariatric surgeons. They refer morbidly obese patients. They refer people who already have or are on their way to developing a disease process that may shorten their lives, or affect the quality of it. Or both. Doctor's will suggest to the overweight person that they should exercise regularly, reduce calories and try to lose some weight, but as long as they are "healthy", they don't continue to pick on them. It's about health, not looks.
Yes, we (the morbidly obese ones) should strive to lose weight, reduce our disease risk and exercise to strengthen our cardiovascular systems. We are at a higher risk for diseases of all kinds. WLS is considered a life saving operation by most insurances...they wouldn't pay for it they didn't see a benefit. It will mean less bills/claims in the long run. (I realize that not all insurances pay for it). But this is not a guarantee that we have somehow beaten the system. How about the man who runs miles and miles for years and years and drops dead of a heart attack on the trail? The young football player who does the same? These are "healthy" looking people who take action to stay in shape, but it didn't necessarily keep them living longer.
Outward appearances aren't everything. No one should understand this more than us. I don't want to be judged anymore. I'm tired of being the 'elephant in the room'. Of course I want to look HOT and look sexy. But I don't think I have to be a certain number to achieve that.
Healthy comes in lots of shapes and sizes!
~C

Most of us that are complaining of being hungry were only banded a few weeks ago. We are still on liquids and mushies. You appear to be on 'normal' food, so your band is "working" right now. Our bands have no fill, and the food we eat (all 2-4 oz) goes right through. I'm guessing that's why you are doing so well!
~C

So I am waiting in the lobby of my surgeon's office yesterday for my 2 week post op appt. After a long, hard road, I finally got my Lap Band on April 10th. This attractive obese woman sitting next to me speaks up and warns me that the doctor is running approx. 45 minutes behind. We engage in small talk and when one of the staff members notice me and comments on my recent weight loss, she asks me when I had surgery. I tell her, and she was amazed that I was looking so "full of energy" so quickly.
She is clearly obese, but tells she had the RNY surgery...6 years ago! (Not done by my surgeon, but another in a different town) It made me wonder what weight she may have started from. She is bundled up in a sweatshirt (it's 74 degrees) and I ask her if she's cold. She tells me she is just trying to hide her fat rolls. We laugh and I tell her she is in the safest place to not worry about that at the moment! She goes on to share with me that although she had orginally lost a significant amount of weight, she had started gaining. She said her weight gain was now out of control. She warned me..."whatever you do, make sure you change the way you eat!" "I could eat anything I wanted and still lost weight. I never learned to make any changes".
I told her how the Band works, and how we must change our eating habits immediately after surgery. I told her that we still have absorbtion of all the calories and fat, etc. We are 'forced' to change our lifestyles as this is only a tool. She thought that was wonderful and wished that dietary changes had been stressed to her for long term success.
She had come to see my surgeon to see if there was any further surgery that could be done to correct the stretched out pouch she'd created and hopefully get her back on track. I felt bad for her. I can't imagine going through all of this (or any other kind of WLS) only to gain it all back. How sad. She knew she was going to have to change her lifestyle.
I have been struggling with hunger since surgery, but have so far found the will power and strength to resist eating too much, too often or the wrong food. I hope I am able to do this until my first fill or however many fills it takes to keep my Band working hard! I am so grateful that we are told up front that this is not easy. That we will have to work for it. That this is only a tool. I'm glad that I will get the satisfaction in the end of all this, knowing that I worked for the weight loss. That is didn't come easy. That I had to exercise and choose healthy foods.
So meeting her, I realized that I don't want to see myself in a surgeon's office in 6 years warning someone else about watching what they eat and taking care of the gift we were given! So I just wanted to share and encourage everyone that we can do this! We were given this wonderful tool to help us get healthy, not just skinny. Let's make the best of it! Learn from the wonderful staff of doctors, nurses and dieticians! They are there to help us, and keep us accountable. And of course, we have eachother!
Have a wonderful day and a great life!
~C

Okay,
My gay sistah, btw, I love that you put your partner out there in your initial post. Got to love the out people. Thanks from all of us.
I wanted to write sooner but had other obligations...I hope you don't mind me coming late to the conversation.
Others have touched on hormones being released and emotional eating. I was initially struck with how it seems like you are greiving. You've given up your comfort mechanism and you can't go back. Ever. Not that you want to, but it's real and final and done. Now you need to find a new way to cope. What's a rational person to do?
Temper tantrums seem reasonable to me. Well, so long as you don't hurt anyone or yourself. And this will be a short lived phase.
I don't know if medication is the solution or if really wrapping your head around the tantrums will be effective for you, but certainly try different methods. I mean you've got to live in your skin and people do have to live with you.
One effective way to work your way through the rage is to just own it. Lay on the floor and kick and scream like a 3 year old. You might look foolish, but it feels great. I did it once when my kiddo was having a fit and I was going to beat the tar out of her. So instead I took a clue from her and did the same thing she was doing. She thought I was nuts. I thought it was effective at getting out my stress and no one got hurt.
As for the crying jags they will become fewer and longer spaced inbetween.
It's happening for the same reason a child has fits. You don't have the words to describe your emotions, and without the words you don't have a way to process the concepts.
This is from some business model I came across but a way to get answers and solution is something like the 6 Whys or the 6 questions. Example:
1. Why am I sad? I'm sad because this man has cancer.
2. Why does cancer make you sad? This person will die.
3. Why is death sad? People I love will be gone from me.
4. Who do you see passing soon? Grandma, grandpa
5. What can you do to connect with them? Visit write a letter, etc.
6. What is stopping that from happening? Make a plan....
I don't know what to say other than be kind to yourself right now. You need not add guilt or other stress to an already stressfull situation. Ask your partner for a little understanding and maybe an end date that until you meet it she'll be flexible with your bad behavior. Then she gets to say enough is enough.
Keep on writing. I'm sure many other people will propose solutions that will help you out. One of them is bound to give you peace.
Juli

I was so shocked and ELATED that Bernie won over Mark! I just couldn't stand Mark and his bad attitude, how he treated everyone and all that BOO-HOOING!!! Geez-man! Bernie always had class, and he looked terrific!
I kinda wanted Kelly to win, but I knew once I saw Ali she'd beat her. She looked amazing! She left the campus having already lost 99 pounds, so she only had to lose another 6 lbs to win the contest! Her dress rocked, but I could've done without the feather!!! LOL
~C