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That is soooooooo true! I guess that is why I get so angry when people want to "do pictures". Yuck! I can't wait till I want to do that again.

As many have said before me, there are several straws that have broken my camels back. For me it is just being tired of being tired & feeling like crap all the time. I have three German Shepherds that I would love to walk but there is too much pain in my back and hips to tolerate it. I have recently discovered the restaurant booth issue. I have always been the one to ask for a booth because they are more comfortable. Not anymore!! Not only are they not comfortable but when I look across at my husband and see that he has a huge amount of room between him and the table even after I pushed the table over, is ridiculous. I have also recently discovered Facetime which is awesome because I get to see my daughter while I am talking to her but ugh, why do I have to see myself as well! I despise having my picture taken and for some reason, people who are not obese do not seem to understand that. I have been outright rude sometimes to avoid it & have had to practically beg to not have my picture shared on Facebook. I don't want to be that person anymore. I am tired of having to sit on a stool to fix dinner or do dishes. I am tired of having to take breaks when I am cleaning house. I have been in denial for way too long. I have used food and alcohol to avoid dealing with myself. I am ready to find a way to love myself. I was actually just recently promoted at work. I was completely blown away by this promotion because of my self-image issues, I didn't think I had a chance. I started my WL journey in Dec 2015 and am not looking back. I believe that 2016 will be my year to shine. I am half way through my 6 month diet/exercise program and have the sleep study in May. After that I will hopefully be scheduled for surgery in July. I have read this entire feed and I am so grateful for everyone's input. A lot of what has been said really hits home for me & I wish you all the best of luck in your WL journey.

I am getting sleeved on 9/26, and I don't think there was a particular "straw" per se. However, it was on my mind constantly--the fact that I can't wear the nice clothing I want to wear, the fact that I was always looking at co-workers and others and thinking, "Why can't I be thin like that?" The next thing I knew I was at an informational meeting, with the idea of getting a lap band. Didn't want anything permanent! But I could tell that my doctor is not crazy about the lap band. He said he is currently removing more lap bands than he's putting in. That kind of sealed it for me. Anyway, it's all been cumulative. I was once thin so the memories are there. I saw an old video of me when I was a size four and I was eating my heart out . . . I couldn't believe how good I looked! "Did I appreciate it?" I thought to myself. I know I would now! One thing that pushed me to do it was that this past summer I turned down an invitation to go to my 35-year high school reunion. There were people there I really wanted to see! I have turned down many invitations, but soon--no more! I just got tired of the whole weight issue/body image monopolizing so much of my though processes . . .

I'm only 3 months into the 6 month diet/exercise. I have had all of my appointments/evaluations. Did an Oxygen study at home last night. Waiting to hear back to see if I need to do the sleep study or not. Where are you from in VA? I just moved to NC 1.5 years ago from Harrisonburg, VA. I would have never even considered WLS if I hadn't moved here. I am still in the "Whatever" mode right now because I know it will still be awhile yet. Just trying to keep myself busy. Good luck to you!

I know, @@Renkoss ! The whole situation floored me. I'm looking forward to surgery.....DEFINITELY! But I'm more anxious to be done with THIS part of the process. I just want to relax and stop wondering if they have received my file, approved my file, denied my file, lost my file...etc.

I have been overweight mostly my whole life & it didnt effect me having my son's BUT it prevents me from being the best mom I can be to them. I limit my boys all the time when they ask me if they can do things and I say no because I am worried about where I have to park, or how far we have to walk, or what will the seats be like when we get in there, how many ppl will look and whisper, if I do take them what will they expect me to be doing while we there ? after ? when all they wanna do is go have fun with mom. Then 1 day the school called me and said my 10yr old was in a fight in class, when I got my baby home I asked him what happened and he said this boy kept calling u fat and I got mad and we started fighting, that killed me ont the inside because here he is defending me and Im supposed to be protecting him. I went to the hospt one time with shortness of breathe and they admitted me, the doctor came to my room and told me INFRONT of my mom, kids and granny that they were worried about me having blood clots in my lungs BUT they couldnt do a CAT scan on me because I was to big to fit in the machine. So totally embarrassed, I was thinking so I could die and they wouldnt even know why or even try to help me. My baby boy asked me moma are you going to die & I knew then that I had to do something. Ppl are always staring and children are always saying she is big and it kills me everytime on the inside. I was married for 7 yrs and for 7yrs he cheated with different women and that just killed my self esteem and I got bigger and bigger each yr. To this day if he gets mad at me about the kids ir something the 1st thing he says is something about me being fat! Look the camels back is broken and he has died a horrible death...so that is it, Im doing it JUNE 3 is my date.

So many of these postings hit home for me. In the end, I am tired of thinking about my weight. I am consumed by it daily - from assessing whether I am the "fattest" person in the room to figuring out if someone is treating me differently because of my weight. Stereotyping of larger people makes it very difficult for me in my job as many assume I am heavy merely because I am not a hard worker, or lazy, or I cannot get away from the fridge. It would sometimes make me sad. Often it would make me angry. I want energy back... I am going to channel myself to accomplish this goal for me. I cannot wait until I am able to shake loose all the negativity from weight gain, all the self-hatred, the denial, and the guilt. Losing the weight will not do that on its own, it will take a complete overhaul of my mindset. I am ready...finally. I do not want to be embarrassed anymore, or angry, or humiliated, or sad... or miss out on anything I want to do because I am heavier. Tired of blurring the edges, hiding from mirrors, hiding from cameras, films, being posted on FB, the waterslide, the planes, that darn waiting room chair made for someone size 8.... I might have reached my lowest point when I asked myself if my friends felt sorry for me because they hung out with me. (Not being worthy on my personality alone). I know I am not alone but I have felt that way for over a decade.

Getting winded tying my shoes, feeling a little out of breath when I just roll over fast in bed, having been told by my doc NOT to get diabetes due to a past cardiac issue...and knowing I was already prediabetic...feeling so many things were off limits to me. Having people come up and ask me if I was "expecting" again, and having to laugh (faking being okay with it, like you do, you know?) and say, "No, I'm just fat." Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. ....
I never get anything done. We have two stories in our home and I actually don't do anything in the second story because of having to climb the stairs! I feel like a sack of potatoes with no shape. Clothes shopping is pointless because nothing looks good on me anyway, so I have taken to wearing whatever big t-shirt I tossed on the floor from yesterday...
There are a million reasons I want to get this done. I have done the diet and exercise bit, and there isn't enough life left to live to waste on that nonsense anymore.

When my husband and I first started dating, I was about 40-50 pounds lighter. We tied the knot this August and my wedding pics are nice, but I I felt embarrassed being that big. I tried to diet but nothing worked. Then, a few months after the wedding, I noticed my DH having issues with staying hard during lovemaking. While he sometimes has issues with this off and on, and he swears it isn't me, deep down nothing he says really can change my mind. A part of me died the day that happened-the last time, after quite a few times of this.
I jumped on that plane so fast, he didn't even have time to object. I have lost 25 pounds so far in a month and while I still have a long way to go, I am already feeling a bit more confident. I cannot wait to be the sexy, beautiful woman I feel I am on the inside-fully and completely.

The death of my sister at age 53.
She was the largest girl of 11 children. Now, i'm that girl & I turned 50 yesterday. Plus, it is so hard to wipe your highny when you are tapping on 300 lbs.

I drank real Coke, until I started my pre op diet. I am 8 weeks post op and haven't had one. Doc said it would stretch my sleeve. Do I still want them? Hell yes. I want one now but I refuse to have one and risk my weight loss at all. I have been through too much. Maybe one day I will never want one again.... Who knows.

That is exactly right! She needs to tell them to ask you!!

My name is Shelley and I am new to my weight loss journey. I am 48 days into my 180 day or 6 month, diet and exercise insurance required program. I am coming up on my 3rd weigh in for this as well. I have had my Cardiologist evaluation and passed with flying colors. Feb. is a big month for me as I have Pulmonary evaluation, Nutritionist, Endoscopy, Bariatric testing & Psych evaluation. I have attended two support group meetings. The first of which I was the center of attention, which I did not like at all. The second was better as there were more people and the focus was not all on me. I currently weigh 280 lbs. BMI is 46.6. My highest weight was when I started this process at 290 lbs.
My choice of surgery at this point is Gastric Bypass since I have a terrible sweet tooth and love all things fried. My husband is being incredibly supportive and I believe he wants to get healthier as well. He doesn't have near as much to lose but the scales have been moving up on him the last few months. He wants to start working out at a gym, which I have told him is great, but I am not ready for that yet. I want to lose enough so that it doesn't hurt my back to stand or walk further than to the mailbox and back. I have done an incredible amount of research and I am presently reading the Big Book on Gastric Bypass. Learning a lot from that. I also watched All Of Me, which I was not very impressed with at all. I like to look at peoples stories on You tube as well. I am open to discussing anything at this point since I have not officially chosen a surgeon or surgery type yet. Where I am at at this point is choosing between two surgeons where I have been attending meetings as well as evaluations. I believe I will be choosing the surgeon that presented information at the weight loss surgery seminar. I look forward to having conversations with you all soon.

Don't know if they are inspirational but I have come a long way. Lost 182 lbs. starting weight 340 current weight 158. Surgery 02/21/2012

@@blondedreamer84 it just gives people encouragement to dig in and work

What I'm struggling with in your situation is the idea that your sister feels not mentioning the surgery to others if they ask her how you are losing weight weight is lying. She seems to be trying to take some sort of moral high ground claim of not wanting to lie FOR you and yet she had no issue apparently with lying TO you when she promised to keep your secret. I don't understand why she can't just direct those people to ask you for the details of how you are losing weight? But yes, my guess is that she already blabbed to a bunch of people before she texted you and is trying to justify breaking her promise.

Ok, A better woman would not say this, but a better woman isn't typing this...I am
So here it goes. I'm going out on a limb alone here. You owe your sister absolutely NOTHING. You do not owe her an explanation of how hard you have worked and will ALWAYS need to work, nor do you owe her an explanation that WLS was in no way an easy way out. You owe her nothing at all...you do not have to, nor should you feel like you are obligated to defend yourself to her or anyone else. You do not even owe her the explanation and facts about surgery.
Now what does she owe you? The same, nothing. When we disclose personal things to people, we are always taking a chance that the other person will be a big blabber mouth and even worse an asshole.
If you value your relationship with her, I suggest you tell her when others ask how you did it, to simply say. "You will have to ask her." Nothing more nothing less. If she doesn't abide by your request and suggestion, then, I would tell her, I will never confide in you again. Now, I also understand that we all typically care about our siblings and family and we want them on our side...so I can certainly see the point of all the others posts with very valuable suggestions. It just really pisses me off when people who think they know anything open their mouths....I don't even know where to begin with her asininity.

Once you choose your surgeon, you should be confident that you’re in good hands. Still, your surgeon is only partly responsible for your weight loss surgery success. YOU have the greatest share of responsibility. Here’s what you can do before surgery to make surgery safer, make recovery easier, and lose weight faster – and it’s not just sitting back and waiting for your surgery date to arrive!


Pre-Op Diet
The pre-op diet has a few purposes. The critical one is to shrink your liver so it’s not blocking your surgeon’s view of your insides during surgery. That makes your operation easier and safer.
The pre-op diet also helps you lose weight. That may be surprising since you’re expecting to start your weight loss after surgery, but it’s actually a good idea to start losing weight beforehand. In fact, the more you lose before surgery, the safer surgery will be, and the better you’ll feel afterwards.
Different surgeons suggest different pre-op diets. The diet has about 1,000 calories. It could depend on lean Proteins and other nutrient-rich foods, or it could be a liquid diet with Protein Shakes. Or, it could be a combination of the two, with each day including two Protein shakes as Meal Replacements plus one meal with vegetables and protein.
The pre-op diet can last from a few days to several weeks or even months. In general, the longer you’re on it, the better. You’ll lose more weight, shrink your liver more, and gain confidence that you’ll be able to continue a strict eating program long-term after surgery.
Get in Shape
Why exercise before surgery? One reason is that, like with a good diet, it can make surgery safer. In this case, it’s because exercising can strengthen your heart, lungs, and blood vessels. Of course, exercise also burns calories and can help you lose a little extra weight before surgery.
Another reason to get in shape before surgery is because it will make recovery easier. Many weight loss surgery patients find that walking around the house and then the neighborhood is their best tool for fighting post-op pain. If you’re used to being active before surgery, you’ll have an easier time walking after surgery.
You don’t need to go crazy on your pre-op exercise regimen. If you’re not used to exercising, start small. As long as your doctor approves you to be active, just find a few minutes each day to walk at a comfortable pace.
Clean and Stock the Kitchen
Fact: you can’t eat food that’s not there.
So, clean out your kitchen. Get rid of sugary Desserts, starchy Snacks, and fatty meats and cheeses. Anything you know you shouldn’t be eating shouldn’t be in your kitchen. Get rid of it before surgery because for weeks after surgery, you won’t be physically able to carry out heavy trash bags filled with forbidden foods.
Once your kitchen is cleaned out, stock it up! At least get the protein shakes and powders you’ll need for weeks or more after surgery. Consider getting some flavored water in case you’re unable to tolerate Water post-op. You can also stock up on non-perishable staples, such as canned chicken and tuna, frozen fruit and vegetables, and instant oatmeal packets.
Take Your Nutritional Supplements
You know you’ll be taking nutritional supplements post-op. If you have the sleeve or bypass, you’ll be taking them for life. With the band, you’ll need supplements for months, years, or life. Did you know you shouldn’t wait until after surgery to start taking your supplements?
At a minimum, take a Multivitamin beginning when you start your pre-op diet. Even if you’re eating a balanced diet, the supplement helps make sure your body has the nutrients it needs to heal your surgery wound. Also, it’s an insurance policy so that if you have trouble eating and swallowing supplements for a few weeks after surgery, your body will still have a good store of nutrients in reserve.
Practice Your Healthy Eating Habits
Consider the pre-op period practice for the post-op diet. That includes eating slowly, measuring portions, and choosing nutrient-dense instead of processed, high-calorie foods. Also consider making exercise a habit now, so it’s easier to get back to it after surgery.
You cannot guarantee an easy surgery, but you can certainly do a few things to improve your chances. Use these tips to take control of your pre-op prep as soon as you’re ready to lose weight and get healthy!

So I had my surgery two days ago and I had a major epiphany that I wanted to share with anyone that is thinking about, is going through, and is about to undergo weight loss surgery! When packing for the hospital please take a pair of headphones and a small mp3 player, cell phone, whatever to walk and listen to music, pod casts, etc.... it will be your true saving grace.
I randomly packed my large noise cancelling headphones and let me tell you.... right after surgery, when they finally decided the anesthesia had worn off and I wouldn't hurt myself getting out of bed... I put those bad boys on, put spotify on my cell phone, and jammed out to my music walking through the corridors almost dancing!!! It really was the best feeling in the world and it truly lightened my spirits.
I know this may seem odd and everyone's experiences will be different, but I would advise taking at least these with a light robe/pj pants, and small pillow. Might seem excessive.... but you'll be ever so grateful for them post-op!
Hope this helps anyone going through the process and good luck in your journeys!

I was deeply saddened by this movie. I think this movie only represented a subset of the types of people who have this surgery. I am a successful professional woman, have a great marriage, and "normal" friends. Some friends are overweight, but most aren't. I don't go seeking other "fat woman" and/or men who have a fetish for bigger woman. Most of these woman have deep-seeded emotional and self-image issues. I am not casting stones. I too have some emotional eating issues. I love food and wanted to enjoy anything I wanted, whenever I wanted it. I have come to terms with that is not how I want to live and that my body doesn't run that way. From reading posts, support groups, Facebook groups, I have met many woman who are like me and they are very successful after surgery. This movie didn't really show the successful side of bariatric surgery, if anything it perpetuated the stereotype of fat woman. Very disappointed in PBS.