AnnainOK

Let me tell you what's fun.
Walking into ANY store and buying an outfit because you love it, not just because it fits, is fun.
Pulling warm jeans out of the dryer, sliding them on and buttoning them easily is fun.
Wearing bright colors and patterns is fun.
Pushing away a plate of food and enjoying conversation is fun.
Hiking, biking, playing frisbee, dancing without getting sweaty and out of breath right away is fun.
Fitting in a roller coaster, an airplane seat, a movie theater chair, down a bus aisle, etc. is fun.
Wearing heels without foot pain is fun.
Getting up without knee pain, back pain or weight gain is fun.
Not feeling guilty about cheating on your diet is fun.
food controlling your life is not fun. Living your life is fun.

@@AnnainOK
Hang in there! This to me was one of the hardest parts of the journey because of the emotional crap that comes with it.
Your husband is right it will get so much better on surgery day, just keep your eye on the prize.
Don't be surprised if you actually get air headed toward the last few days. I remember not being very clear headed and my husband yelled at me for not having my head in the game while doing our checkbook.
I yelled at him and said let me take food away from you for ten friggin days and let's see how your mind works dumb$&?!
We both started cracking up after that. He has since tried the liquid Protein diet and did not make it 12 hours. We laugh about it all the time.
You will feel better soon! Hang in there!

You're headed in the right direction--however, as the ex-wife of an alcoholic, be aware that you can slip into another situation like this rather easily. I would suggest some sort of counseling, maybe even an al-anon group. It takes real work to root out the issues that allow us to get sucked into an addict's life--and there are all kinds of addicts.

I did it. Sent him a text. I don't think he deserves a phone call.
Here is what I said:
"I'm sorry this is in a text message but I'm not good at putting my thoughts into words when speaking.
There are other things, such as me getting physically hurt around you twice now due to your drinking. That's a big huge deal!!!! I don't feel safe in your company. You really really hurt me twice now.
But what it really comes down to is that whenever I try to talk to you about my life either currently or in the past, you never fail to turn the conversation back to yourself. I feel totally unheard. You don't engage or ask me questions about my life or show interest in really knowing me. You are totally tuned into yourself.
You show no consideration for me. For example keeping the tv on until 2 am when I am clearly tired from working and still choosing to stay with you. Not a partner I want to be with.
And words of love mean nothing without real intimacy or care.
This has bothered me about you since day one. I have been on the fence about being with you for a long time because of these things.
Couple it with your drinking cracking 6am beers and I am just done.
I only wish you well and good luck. But for me it's goodbye."
And that's done. Thank you me. Thank you me and everyone who has written to me!!!! I do have self love.

I had a laproscopic hysterectomy that was a walk in the park compared to my four c-sections, and I never thought any of those were that bad.
My husband had laproscopic RNYGB and swore like a sailor the entire trip home from the hospital three days later. He thinks I'll be ready to kill someone by the time we drive the three hours home, even though I have never had that problem through a lot of other stuff.
I have a feeling he was just a total newbie to the world of cut and paste.

@@Pinkgirl1234 I had bilateral mastectomies with partial reconstruction 6 weeks after the hysterectomy in 2013, and I finished the reconstruction in January of this year. Thankfully, I no longer have to take anything for that!

@@aranushka My surgery is the 26th. I understand what you mean about owing it to your kids. I'm 55 and have a 12-year-old. I lost 70 pounds the old-fashioned way when he was 2, but haven't been able to continue nor keep it all off, so I'm having RNYGP.
I'm not thinking about it more than I must. I start my pre-op diet tomorrow.
Good luck to you!

My surgery is October 26th.
I had a complete hysterectomy in 2013, and three years of tamoxifen before that. I thought I was done with all my hormone issues, but with the beginning of my pre-op liquid diet, I'm starting to feel as though I'm experiencing a hormonal response. So I'm thinking, the body stores estrogen in fat. I'm losing fat now, with more to come. Could there still be enough residual estrogen in my system to cause me trouble? It's not going to stop me, but forewarned is fore-armed, and my husband and son will want to know if they should be prepared to duck and cover.

@@aranushka My surgery is the 26th. I understand what you mean about owing it to your kids. I'm 55 and have a 12-year-old. I lost 70 pounds the old-fashioned way when he was 2, but haven't been able to continue nor keep it all off, so I'm having RNYGP.
I'm not thinking about it more than I must. I start my pre-op diet tomorrow.
Good luck to you!

Oct28 the day of my surgery. Having the gastric bypass. Really feeling the nerves. I have very mixed emotions but the emotion that really stands out is excitement. I'm so ready for my new life to start! I'm 42 years old Married and a mother of two. My kids are young a 10 yr old girl and 6 year old boy. They are very active and I need to keep up. I owe it to them. They are my everything and the are wonderful kids. Starting my liquid diet on the 16th and hoping for a good outcome.

I'm feeling a lot better after all these. I've got it made.

I'm feeling a lot better after all these. I've got it made.

I had a laproscopic hysterectomy that was a walk in the park compared to my four c-sections, and I never thought any of those were that bad.
My husband had laproscopic RNYGB and swore like a sailor the entire trip home from the hospital three days later. He thinks I'll be ready to kill someone by the time we drive the three hours home, even though I have never had that problem through a lot of other stuff.
I have a feeling he was just a total newbie to the world of cut and paste.

ha! So true! Yeah, I had about the same c-section experience with the first and second. I remember trying to walk up the street at two weeks post-op with my first kid - and I was in so much pain by the time I got back. I probably walked 75 yards total and it was just too much. I was walking more than that the day after my second kid was born.
When I had my gall bladder removed, I had really bad gas pain. I had to spend the night at the hospital due to my reaction to the anesthesia and my nurse was so amazing. When I complained about the gas pain, she put pillows around me which took the pressure off of the right spots - it totally eliminated the gas pain! If I could only remember what she did!

I had a laproscopic hysterectomy that was a walk in the park compared to my four c-sections, and I never thought any of those were that bad.
My husband had laproscopic RNYGB and swore like a sailor the entire trip home from the hospital three days later. He thinks I'll be ready to kill someone by the time we drive the three hours home, even though I have never had that problem through a lot of other stuff.
I have a feeling he was just a total newbie to the world of cut and paste.

I did the RNY because of reflux, but more importantly, because of diabetes. I was a diabetic for over 20 years and since my surgery, my diabetes has been in remission. That in itself was worth everything.

I find it strange that reputable surgeons would comment negatively about the bypass.
It is the golden standard. If you have any co-morbidities, it is the only way to go.
My diabetes is in remission, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, I had 70 lbs to lose, already lost 23 lbs after 4 weeks and already, my health is so much better.
I recommend to you to do your research on other bariatric surgeons in your area or out of your area. Only a surgeon with not enough experience would make that kind of comments when research from all over the world recommend just the opposite.

one word. reflux. I already suffer from it and I was told the sleeve wasn't a fit for me. I revised from the band and had the same problem with it. I haven't had one episode with the gastric bypass. I like the gastric bypass it really keeps you in check. no way am I going to be able to eat around it like ppl do with sleeve and lapband. my hospital and doctor won't do lapband anymore.

My life is an open book. I have told work, friends and family and have received nothing but support. I plan on using all of them post op as a huge support system. I feel very lucky.

We are at 74 of us having surgery this month! What a family!!!!

I'm having mine on October 26th!

Thank you for replying!
Sometimes I feel silly for looking for support--my problems seem small compared to many of you. I've been open with my friends about having the surgery, and most of them say "But you don't NEED it! I don't think you're that big!" Well, at my 5'6" large frame, I can carry a lot of weight, and I've done it, as I said, all my life. While I don't have sleep apnea, or high cholesterol/triglycerides, I do have the Type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, and arthritis...and my lower back is an assortment of ruptured disks and the site of my arthritis.
I'm only on Metformin. My A1C is currently within normal limits. I want to keep it there, but I know it would only get tougher with age. I kept thinking I could keep my weight down on my own, but when I went to the back doctor after losing 60 pounds, and he said "You need to lose thirty pounds--and a hundred wouldn't hurt", I knew I couldn't do it by diet alone. I exercise daily, but the hours I would have to spend to begin to get there...sheesh! I got down to 200 once about six years ago, and it took three to four hours a day in the gym. I don't have that kind of time...and it wears on your body to do that as well.
My son is my heart. He stayed by my side through all the other surgery. He's not thrilled that I'm going through more, but I keep reminding him that this one is for us--for our chance to be together for a lot of years to come. I'm also attempting to inspire him in his Quest to learn to swim (he has some fear of Water, but needs to learn to continue ranking up as a Boy Scout).
We have a goal, to hike a portion of the Appalachian Trail in 2017, then the Pacific Crest. I can hike five miles or so at a time now, but it takes its toll. I keep telling myself all these things, over and over again.
I can use all the friends I can get!
What I haven't mentioned is that I'm also 55 years old. I had my son at 43--and I'm determined not to have his support be limited by having an older mom...so I suck it up (but sometimes I go have a good cry in the bathroom.)

AnnainOK, Very pleased to meet you! I can totally relate to how you are feeling. I'm just beginning this journey. I have one of the six Nutritional visits under my belt...looking forward to number two!!
I am also Type 2 diabetic; been battling diabetes for at least 20 years now, and I'm on an insulin pump and still having great difficulty in controlling my numbers. I've given up quite a bit of carbs other than vegetables, I don't eat fruit, I don't drink milk, I don't drink any type of surgery drink, I don't eat Pasta, rice, potatoes, or bread. I still can't control my numbers. My diabetes has started damaging my kidney's. This is my last chance to control this and stop damage to my internal organs. I've always been rather against this because first off, it is quite a deal to lose weight, and secondly because I guess I felt like if I did WLS I was a total loser because I couldn't do it on my own. I've been trying for the past 3 years to lose weight, and because of the insulin use, I've continued to gain. So here I am.
I have more than one co-morbidity as well. I've also got sleep apnea, high cholesterol and tryglicerides, metabolic syndrome. The only thing going well for me is my blood pressure. It's always been good. Nothing else has been though. I am still quite a ways off from surgery, but I'm ready to do this. I'm afraid and scared, but I figure all these great people who have been successful will lend their words or support.
I hope everything works out well for you. I'm envious that you are a few weeks from your surgery! How exciting! Stay in contact. I'd be happy to be considered one of your friends here.

So many of the terrible foods that got us to our high weights are not only basically poisonous to our bodies, but also highly addictive. It's not silly or odd at all the be thinking/anxious about the great changes you will have to go through to be healthy after surgery. A lot of people choose to forgo these foods forever, if they can, because of their addictive and damaging nature. While I will probably be doing that (my resolution is to never eat Pasta again if I can help it) there will come a time after you have healed completely that the RARE treat wont kill you. Is it a good idea to just never eat these foods again? Probably. Is it the only choice you have forever? No, not by any means.
You seem like a strong woman who has been through absolute hell and made it out kicking and fighting. These worries are normal, and it would be odd if you didn't think about these things. But you've worked so hard to get here, and I have this strong feeling that the things that have harmed you in terms of your food habits and weight aren't going to beat you any more than cancer or any of the other monsters you have already fought with and emerged from, victorious.
Another piece of good news is once you've done the pre-op diet, had surgery, and spent a couple weeks unable to eat any of the bad stuff, your body will no longer crave it the way it does now. I sometimes miss some of my old comfort foods (like ramen noodles and mac and cheese) but the strength of my cravings pales compared to the joy I feel as I melt and my health issues reverse. I wouldn't trade these 36 pounds I've lost so far since surgery for all the ramen and mac and cheese in the world, and now I have the tools to say no to the food that once held me hostage physically, mentally, and emotionally.
We're glad you're here, and we will be here to support you, commiserate, and Celebrate with you every step of the way. I wish you the best of luck! Feel free to message me or friend me any time.
Abby