luvhermitcrabs

I certainly wouldn't feel comfortable proceeding after being spoken to like that.
I didn't get the treatment you did for my first consultation, but I felt like they didn't care what I got as long as I signed on the dotted line. I dismissed the surgery completely. I then had a new surgeon recommended to me, and am completely comfortable.

Adding to the chorus. Go with your gut and switch. This is why I looked at 2 different programs before even starting the process. I wanted a program where I felt 100% comfortable. Sleeve or RNY, if you qualify and decide, it's your decision. The surgeon should not berate you or make you feel like a third grader delivering their first oral report. There are other ways to make sure you understand the process. My surgeon did my best friend's RNY. I told him this on our very first meeting. Despite this and my very high starting weight, he didn't try to talk me out of having the sleeve. He just made sure I knew it would take longer to lose. My concern is if the doctor is treating you this way now, what happens post-op when you need support? Get your medical records from this program. Chance are you may not have to repeat your testing since most insurance companies won't want to pay for the same test so soon. Either way it's worth it to be comfortable with the people who are performing major surgery on your body.

So my doctors office told me that that sent my file I've to the Insuance company today. And it takes at least 2 weeks to hear back for an approve. The waiting game sucks!!! I would like to be sleeved in October not November but I will take what I get. I just hope I get approved I see people that get denied. ????

Hello again everyone. I thought I would start a new topic with my update. I will try to include a lot of detail so if future spouses come looking on this forum like I did they can find this easily!
Friday (3 days before surgery): I was freaking out because I was in the grips of one of the worst colds I've ever had. Rob's RNY surgery was scheduled for Monday and I was so angry that I might be too sick to take care of him in the hospital, and even more scared that I would get him sick and make them delay his operation. I stayed home from work and resolved to just try and get better. Friday night we went out to get pizza, his favorite food... he didn't have to go on all liquids until the day before surgery and wanted to do a couple "last meals".
Saturday/Sunday: tried to get better. We went with our daughter to dinner at IHOP, truly his last meal for awhile. Also went shopping for various types of broth and sugar free Jello, also some different kinds of bottled Water. They suggested it was a good idea to have all that in the house in advance.
Monday (Operation Day!): Woke up feeling a little better. Took lots of cold medicine and headed off to the hospital. I took a big bag with lots of stuff with me to the waiting room, I knew there would be a lot of waiting... I had a book, some knitting projects, my Ipad. I wore my most comfortable sweatpants, a t-shirt and brought a hoodie because I knew it would be cold. My day went like this: Check in. Wait an hour. Rob went to pre-op. Wait an hour. I got taken back to go sit with him in pre-op. Wait an hour. Anesthesiologist came to put him under... then back out to the waiting room. I tried to nap as much as I could. The surgeon came out about 3 hours later to tell me it was done and had gone very well.
Waited another 2 hours while he was in recovery, and finally they told me his room number assignment. I waited for them there and they brought him up.
He was in the hospital overnight 2 nights and got discharged Wednesday late morning. I stayed there with him both nights. I feel lucky that our hospital has a bariatric wing so there are lots of other patients with the same procedure, and all the nurses / aides are very specialized and good at caring for the patients. He did really well, did a ton of walking and as best he could at drinking all the water he was supposed to. This helped him get out relatively early on his last day.
I have to say I felt bad for the patients who didn't have a caretaker staying with them (most didn't!) The nurses were very nice but often it would take 20 - 45 minutes for them to respond to a request (more pain meds, need another water bottle, etc.) With me being there I could go get him more ice chips, help him walk, go track down a nurse, etc. The staff were all very nice and seemed glad that I was staying there also, they brought a sleeper chair that folder out into a cot, and sheets/blankets for me at night.
I made sure to take some time for me... I was able to go home each morning and shower and eat Breakfast. lunch and dinner I would go eat at the hospital cafeteria and take my time. These breaks helped me take care of him better - rub his shoulders that ached a lot, challenge him to go for a walk, etc. The only other tip I can think of is that we brought his pillow from home, he was allowed to use that and was very glad to have it. One more tip I guess would be, don't be afraid to speak up and ask the nurses / staff about the reason for something, or if you need something. It was obvious that they want all the patients to "stick to the routine" because it's easier for them to keep to a schedule, but they are more than willing to explain something, or to give you something or make a change if it's within their ability.
I ended up taking Thursday and Friday off this week too, just to be here in case he needs me although he really doesn't. and also because I am still getting over my cold!!
He's already getting sick of the liquid only diet... next week, "soft foods" join the menu. I can't wait.

So I didn't have the obnoxiously unsupportive family thing going but clearly some family members really didn't approve, (still don't) but they've kept their mouths shut. Mostly What I did have was my mom who kinda went off the deep end with worry, she tried to research but did it badly, misunderstood and really just needed some education. I took her to my surgeon's office to meet with the nurse coordinator which helped A LOT! She's now my biggest cheerleader! I still have one family member who gives me "looks" when she sees what I leave on my plate or put in my to go box, and I really don't care. The health benefits have been AMAZING and totally worth it! Just saw my doctor for the first time in 8 months today for a UTI and she mentioned how she never has to see me anymore which is TRUE! I used to require almost monthly monitoring for all the meds and weight related health problems. Not anymore!

the drain. had to go home with it. the bandage caused sores. I hated that drain and than when they pulled it out I yelped. man that thing hurt.
having a bad back I was up and out of bed after surgery do to discomfort. a nurse came in and told me I needed to sit at the edge of the bed. np I said and as I was getting the bed in position she was holding her arms and hands in a cradle position to help me. when I told her I had already been out of bed a few dozen times she was horrified. made me giggle.

I think in many cases the depression after surgery (whether new or worsening a previous case) is b/c you no longer can rely on food to self-medicate. Many people mourn that loss, and if you have relied on food to soothe anxious or difficult feelings for a long time, suddenly having that taken away is scary. In some cases also, people may subconsciously expect everything in their life to be perfect once they lose weight, and when it's not, that can be a letdown too.
I have depression also, am doing well on medication, and the best advice I can give you is to be seeing a therapist before and after, to help with your expectations as well as giving you other ways to cope with feelings besides food. I have eaten to avoid my anger for the past 25 years in a difficult marriage, so I have been seeing a therapist the last 2 years working on that, and have separated from my husband, *before* going for surgery. I still expect to be working on this afterwards, though.
Best of luck to you!

gosh, at 5'9 I don'tThink I'll ever make it to a small, but I'd be ok with an L or XL even! sometimes I can't imagine what it would even feel like! I've been over the 200lb mark since 5th grade at least!

Awesome news ! Very happy for you!
I just got my date today too! Oct 12! Way excited and nervous !

Order an appetizer for your meal or just a cup of Soup.< /p>

From a man's point of view: Order an appetizer like Ahi tuna for dinner and just say you are on a diet. We think women are always on a diet of some type anyhow. Bonus round, he will appreciate that you didn't bust his wallet taking you out. The dinner date is just to spend time with you anyhow. No need to share this surgery or any other personal information with him that you aren't comfortable with.

Why not go to a restaurant where you can order fish? I can eat a decent amount of a fish fillet, at least a good 4-6oz of white fish at a time. Men are used to women not eating that much, and if you are talking a lot during the meal, you can easily play it off.
You could also just get Soup and a salad, and just move the salad around. People don't notice what you eat as much as you think. He has never seen you eat before, so it isn't like he is going to expect you to snarf down a 12in sub, because you always do. Don't over think it.

Crabbylady66@yahoo.com
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

I can't speak about the amount of loss your going to experience in that two month time frame, and even if I could I don't think it's going to help much when it comes to the dress part of things because if your like most of us women you could lose in one place much more than in another place.
My advice would be to find yourself a shop, or a seamstress that can work with you and the dress to modify as you lose and leave some things open for a nip and tuck a week or even a few days before the event. Sometimes you can salvage a dress with appliques since they can be removed and re-positioned to be more flattering. If it's all bead work...that could be more of an issue.
I am about your height and weight right now, so I am super curious to see how things go for you after the bypass and I would love to see those wedding photo's!!! I'm a big say yes to the dress and wedding show fan. I don't know why...but it's my "reality" TV of choice
Congratulations!!!

That moment when you think your son is clapping for you, but you realize it is just the loose skin on your thighs...nightmare comes true.

So I'm struggling a little today. It's the first cool day, fall settling in and the pumpkin flavored everything is hard to ignore.
I'm almost 5 months out and this is the second time I've felt like this, like I couldn't take part in "traditions of the season". (First time was when I went to the beach and walked the boardwalk- smelling all those yummy smells). I'm learning that this is where my 'emotional' eating came in, taking part in the nostalgia.
Day to day temptation is manageable, it's just every once in a while it seems to all catch up with me. I'm sticking to plan, but just felt the need to write it out as it's been on my mind all day. I'm doing laundry to keep busy, will hit the gym tonight. I am making chili for dinner though... Great Protein and still gives me a sense of seasonal satisfaction I'm longing for.
So I've faced my summer and fall demons... Wonder what winter and spring will be? Maybe I'll be too busy shopping for new clothes to care.
Thanks for listening!

That is when I would get the least damaging sandwich and throw away the bun. Gas stations usually have Jerky or nuts or some kind of Protein bar. If the team has pizza, just eat your way around the crust. You gotta eat something, so just make the best of it and don't feel bad. I have been in jam a couple of times and got Wendy's chili.

Dreamable,
I feel for you. It feels terrible to do anything that your family and other loved ones don’t approve of. But you need to do what you need to do. You don’t have to alienate them (don’t say, “Support me or I’ll never talk to you again”), but you do need to do what’s best for you.
Here’s one idea. Identify what you want/need from them in your weight loss journey besides their outright “approval” (which isn’t theirs to give or take away, anyway!). For example, maybe you’d like them to be considerate about your post-op diet by keeping junk food out of the house or letting you eat your own healthy meal instead of forbidden foods at family dinners. Or maybe you wish they’d support a post-op exercise program.
The thing about all of those above ideas is that they’re the exact same as if you were just trying another diet, like they want you to do. So maybe you can just ask for a few specific things (“Can we not keep junk food in the house?”) instead of arguing over whether they approve if your surgery.
A lot of times, it’s just time. If they see you lose weight, get healthier, and be happier, they’ll eventually come around if they love you. If not, you can lose weight, get healthier, and be happier, and just not talk about the WLS with the people who don’t support it.
Good luck!

I have the same problem with some of my friends and family. They told me to man up and just exercise and stop taking the "easy way out". I want to ask them, "Which part of removing 75% of my stomach do you think is easy? The pain? The discomfort? The stress of changing of every aspect of my life? The having to watch every single thing that I put into my mouth? The risk of Vitamin deficiency? The giving up of all of the foods I love? The feeling like an outsider when everyone around me is having fun eating and drinking? The having to relearn my body and how to eat?
I've done very diet known to man, and taken every pill. I've done exercise, and lost 50 or more pounds multiple times only to gain 60 or more back. I'm tired of the roller coaster and I want it to end once and for all.
I have emotional support from a few close friends and family, but most of my support comes from this website. So hang in there man. I'm here if you want to talk. My advice for the difficult family members is to avoid them temporarily until you are done with the process and are losing weight. They can't argue with results.

I explained to those with negative comments that WLS was MY tool to lose weight and get healthy. Just like many of them have used Weight Watchers, Atkins, Jenny Craig etc, to lose weight; I am using a tool to help me lose weight.
In the end it is YOUR life, YOUR decision, YOUR health and if you are letting others help make those kinds of decisions, how happy will you ever be?

Slow and Steady Results... It's hard when it doesn't drop faster but this gives me time to tone as I lose
Thanks
You are having fantastic results!! Thanks for sharing!! ❤️

I think this is going to be tough for anyone to answer for you. It will largely depend on how you feel.
I had my surgery on Sept. 11, I also feel great now with no real pain, and I am walking 5000 steps a day, which for me is about 2 miles a day. I could probably push myself a little more too.
A 5K is a little over 3 miles. Personally, I think this would be too much for me all at one time just yet (I have walked 5Ks no problem in the past). If I were able to take a rest along the way it would work, but all at once would be difficult.
YMMV. Only person who can really answer this is you.

I'm so motivated by your story. I started at 314 and I'm at 180 almost 2 years out. I want to be 155-160ish. It feels like a challenge but I know it's obtainable. Thank you for sharing!

Thank you so much! I feel really great! I went to Kohl's yesterday and bought the softest, warm robe for winter...in a small! You can do this! I'm rooting for each and every one here! ????????????????

I agree with what everyone else has said - you have to go with your gut. At first I tried to see a specific surgeon that is one of the top rated in my area but my medical group referred me to a guy who worked out of a dental office over an hour from where I live. He told me I needed to lose 30 pounds before the surgery (which is completely normal) but that that shouldn't take more than a month or so because "they do it all the time on Biggest Loser." If I could lose 30 pounds in a month then I wouldn't need surgery in the first place! In the end I had to appeal to my health insurance who finally agreed to let me see the doctor I'd wanted to go to in the first place. I'm so glad they did because he was excellent and well worth the several months of bureaucratic nonsense I had to struggle through.