Hello again everyone. I thought I would start a new topic with my update. I will try to include a lot of detail so if future spouses come looking on this forum like I did they can find this easily!

Friday (3 days before surgery): I was freaking out because I was in the grips of one of the worst colds I've ever had. Rob's RNY surgery was scheduled for Monday and I was so angry that I might be too sick to take care of him in the hospital, and even more scared that I would get him sick and make them delay his operation. I stayed home from work and resolved to just try and get better. Friday night we went out to get pizza, his favorite food... he didn't have to go on all liquids until the day before surgery and wanted to do a couple "last meals".

Saturday/Sunday: tried to get better. We went with our daughter to dinner at IHOP, truly his last meal for awhile. Also went shopping for various types of broth and sugar free jello, also some different kinds of bottled water. They suggested it was a good idea to have all that in the house in advance.

Monday (Operation Day!): Woke up feeling a little better. Took lots of cold medicine and headed off to the hospital. I took a big bag with lots of stuff with me to the waiting room, I knew there would be a lot of waiting... I had a book, some knitting projects, my Ipad. I wore my most comfortable sweatpants, a t-shirt and brought a hoodie because I knew it would be cold. My day went like this: Check in. Wait an hour. Rob went to pre-op. Wait an hour. I got taken back to go sit with him in pre-op. Wait an hour. Anesthesiologist came to put him under... then back out to the waiting room. I tried to nap as much as I could. The surgeon came out about 3 hours later to tell me it was done and had gone very well.

Waited another 2 hours while he was in recovery, and finally they told me his room number assignment. I waited for them there and they brought him up.

He was in the hospital overnight 2 nights and got discharged Wednesday late morning. I stayed there with him both nights. I feel lucky that our hospital has a bariatric wing so there are lots of other patients with the same procedure, and all the nurses / aides are very specialized and good at caring for the patients. He did really well, did a ton of walking and as best he could at drinking all the water he was supposed to. This helped him get out relatively early on his last day.

I have to say I felt bad for the patients who didn't have a caretaker staying with them (most didn't!) The nurses were very nice but often it would take 20 - 45 minutes for them to respond to a request (more pain meds, need another water bottle, etc.) With me being there I could go get him more ice chips, help him walk, go track down a nurse, etc. The staff were all very nice and seemed glad that I was staying there also, they brought a sleeper chair that folder out into a cot, and sheets/blankets for me at night.

I made sure to take some time for me... I was able to go home each morning and shower and eat breakfast. Lunch and dinner I would go eat at the hospital cafeteria and take my time. These breaks helped me take care of him better - rub his shoulders that ached a lot, challenge him to go for a walk, etc. The only other tip I can think of is that we brought his pillow from home, he was allowed to use that and was very glad to have it. One more tip I guess would be, don't be afraid to speak up and ask the nurses / staff about the reason for something, or if you need something. It was obvious that they want all the patients to "stick to the routine" because it's easier for them to keep to a schedule, but they are more than willing to explain something, or to give you something or make a change if it's within their ability.

I ended up taking Thursday and Friday off this week too, just to be here in case he needs me although he really doesn't. and also because I am still getting over my cold!!

He's already getting sick of the liquid only diet... next week, "soft foods" join the menu. I can't wait.

Thank you so very much for this thread!!! I get to go through this on Monday myself an it helps so much to know about how long I get to wait and how involved I can be!

Congrats on getting past the hospital stay and I hope recovery (for you and him) goes well! Keep us updated!!

breaks helped me take care of him better

@@ErinAZ

good for you taking time for yourself

you are very important

glad the cold is better

thanx for taking that shower

pheeeww you needed that

you sound like a wonderful lady

taking care of DH like that

helping him so much

meeting his needs in the hospital

rubbing his shoulders

where were you when i needed you???

am sure you were always there for hubby (as he was for you)

now IS a specially extra hard time as he starts his new life

you are aces

best wishes for both of you for the rest of your healthier, happier, longer life

kathy

Edited July 25, 201412 yr by proudgrammy

Yes thank you . My wife has her sleeve surgery on Monday morning. August 11th

And I'm worried and scared. Never seen her skinny . and just the unknown scares me to death.

Thank you for posting something from the spouse side. My wife has surgery in a few days and I am a bit stressed. There are very few blogs or comments from this side of the surgery except: divorce rate higher and frustrated spouses. I am thinking of setting up my own blog thread for a weekly update just to get some input from people that have been there.

Questions I am having;

Life without going out to eat: I am from an Italian family and my wife is Filipino; food is how you Celebrate everything.

Sex: issues? How do the woman feel as they lose weight but have the excess skin? Are we going without sex for the next 6 months, year, longer?

My weight: I'm not exceptionally overweight, 5'10" and 208. Is there a time that I will be viewed as fat? What do I eat? Do I eat in front of my wife? Can I bring home a candy bar, yes I am addicted to white sugar?

Her Weight: If I wanted to spend my life with someone stick thin I would have married someone like that. My wife has put on weight over the 25 years we have been married but I like her curves and find her very sexy. When do you decide you have lost enough weight? Do I get an input here?

Diabetes: Will this surgery help the diabetes? Will she end up doing more harm then good?

Overall I am excited for my wife but feel that I had no input into this except to support her decision. This makes things tough. I know this is wrong but I can already hear the voice in my head saying, "this was your idea so quit complaining." Hell, I already feel bad thinking that but its there and I am hoping someone can help me with this.

If I get to starting my own blog I will post the link.... STRESS!!!!! I don't want to share all of this with her because she has enough going on her head and doesn't need my issues adding to the stress she already has.

Erin, I wish I had a spouse to come to the hospital with me that's as attentive as you were! Hope you're feeling better .

WLS Husband - those are all fair questions, but a lot of the answers depend on your relationship with your wife. Setting up your own blog sounds like a great idea! The surgery should help her diabetes. Just try to bear in mind that, even though this is elective (ie, "her idea") there are a lot of rules and requirements in place to make sure that the people getting surgery are the ones that medically need it. You've been together 25 years (and wow, that's awesome!) and hopefully this surgery will give you at LEAST another 25 more!

Thank you for the reply. I am doing my best to be supportive of my wifes needs while she goes through this. You are correct, most of the questions will depend on our relationship but I was hoping someone else in my position that had gone through this could help with the answers.

I may do the blog just to get something out there for us SO's that are unsure of the changes we are about to deal with. Right now I just dont find anything online.

Thank you for the reply. I am doing my best to be supportive of my wifes needs while she goes through this. You are correct, most of the questions will depend on our relationship but I was hoping someone else in my position that had gone through this could help with the answers.

I may do the blog just to get something out there for us SO's that are unsure of the changes we are about to deal with. Right now I just dont find anything online.

I, too, thought about a blog as I can't seem to find too many for significant others. My boyfriend of 5 years is getting ready to undergo his sleeve on Thursday and I'm just needing a little encouragement. I know this about him but it's a HUGE lifestyle change for the entire family. Let me know about your blog if you decide to create one!

Good luck and I wish you and your family all the best!