♥dreamable

Thank you so much for your great answer. So far he hasn't made any comments about how much (or little lol) I am eating when go out to dinner. Our conversation and dates seem to be focusing on the positive things, like us discussing how we eat (we both eat similar - no carbs/lots of protein) and going to the gym and what we do and our dates tend to end up being loooong walks- which has been amazing.
I am still amazed how much doing this has changed my life for the better. I wish I had done my surgery years ago

OH MY GOSH ARE YOU KIDDING ME???????? holy crap that is so awesome! I started a little over 320 at surgery time- you are my new inspiration lol Great job!

So I know it's not that simple buuuuut it's not necessary for you to broadcast your past medical and surgical history to every man you meet so... If you meet a guy and you like him great. You go out with him a couple times and you still like him great. He starts coming over to watch movies and things are getting closer hopefully by then you guys have had some getting to know you conversations and if you feel like things are potentially going somewhere then you could tell him. But I wouldn't feel pressured because they are getting a little too physical. Back them up!!! You set the pace for how fast things should go. If I didn't feel comfortable talking to them about something like weight loss surgery then it's probably not time to go "there" yet. That's just me though.
If you guys have gone out to eat, and he NOTICES how little you eat and says things like " but you hardly touched your food" or "why did you eat so little"? You could say I'll explain later... and if whenever you feel the time is right you could explain I've had surgery to help me lose weight. If he wants to know more... "Your stomach has 100% capacity whereas mines only has 20% capacity. I eat less resulting in weight loss." if this leads to a bigger discussion then you can get into all the details if you're comfortable. Otherwise just enjoy getting to know each other if they fall off because they aren't getting into your pants soon enough then keep it pushing.

Personally I wouldn't feel the need to explain myself on how I dropped weight. Basically I'd leave it at I lost a lot of weight. I'm not ashamed of having the surgery. I just don't feel it's necessary to explain away. It's not like it changes who you are or how you function. I am married so I am not in your shoes. This is just my thoughts.

Ha I just saw your refinement of your question.

Brief history: I have been single for 4 years. I am 1 year out from my surgery. I am still a bit away from my goal- but have lost a significant amount of weight at this point. I just started dating.
While my confidence is really high when I am in clothes (the right undergarments make everything look so nice and make me look so much smaller when I wear them haha) I am really scared about when/if things progress and clothes are being removed. The last date I was on his hands were touching over my clothes and I'm pretty sure he could feel that I had something on that went halfway up my back.
Anyway- he doesn't know about my surgery yet- and it's not something I feel I need to discuss on the first or second date (just my personal preference).
One of my really good male friends a few years ago made a comment once about how to slept with a women and he didn't know she had surgery until they were naked and he said it really turned him off and bothered him that she didn't tell him ahead. Is he just a jerk or should I expect a similar reaction if I don't say something first?
Help!?!?!?! lol

I don't think you need to tell them that you have had surgery. If you are worried about what reaction you might receive, you may just tell them that you have lost a large amount of weight a heads up on what to expect. Some may have a problem, others will not.

Well, hopefully by the time you feel comfy enough to get down n dirty with someone you feel comfy enough to talk about your weight loss n how you're a lil insecure about being naked in front of someone..
Munky

I agree with Munky! But I do get what you're saying. I'm not at that point yet, I think I'll probably say something ahead of time just because I would be freaking out about what they would think haha It's hard to tell what someone's reaction is going to be, but I wouldn't want to be with someone that couldn't accept some loose skin anyway!

Half way to goal pictures!!!
This is my "before" taken Easter Sunday 2016 at 252lbs

This one was take July 6th at 202lbs
And this one was taken today July 31st at 196lbs

So yeah this is basically how I looked like (4-5kilos before my heaviest weight), I don't have much pictures since I hated being in them (still not a big fan though) and it's actually one of the only I have got from that dreaded period. And this is me this morning, so far I have lost 38kilos (83,7pounds) since February 25th, not that bad
Cheers everyone.
(PS: did not realize you guys would see how I titled my pics, so yeah sorry 'bout that).

Stalled for about 2 months now but loving the way I look/feel now!!
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I have 4 kids and 3 of them are overweight. I am 8 months (I think?) out from my surgery so let me share my experience. I have noticed a few things
(1) It has helped to educate my kids on food, because I have had to educate myself
(2) I don't eat any carbs- so we almost never have Pasta or anything and I don't have those things in the house- so they don't eat them
(3) Because I am so aware of how little I eat now (or how much I used to eat) I am AMAZED at how big portions are. I have gotten rid of all of our dinner plates, and we only eat meals on saucer size plates. this has helped!
Now one negative- because a lot of times I only have a Protein shake or beef jerkey- it also can be easy to just grab the kids fast food or make them something easy. Don't fall into that trap
Good luck

Any tips/pointers, things that have worked for any of you to achieve your goals?
I plan my food in advance and pre-log what I am going to eat in MyFitnessPal. I weigh my portions. I focus on Protein dense foods and green veggies, with some fruit, dairy, tree nuts, and max one serving of whole grains per day. When I am trying to lose weight, I will often cut out the one serving of whole grains. I make sure I am in a caloric deficit. I do not eat back exercise calories. I keep off-plan food out of my house entirely.

Second question...is it possible to get back to feeling restriction again?
Yes, but you need to focus on eating lean, dense protein, green veggies, high Fiber foods -- you won't feel restriction with high carb foods, sweets, most dairy.

Third question..how does a person determine if they need a revision?
Consult with a surgeon on that one. Honestly, from what I have seen here, people who are struggling with eating are struggling because they choose the wrong kind of food or choose to graze all day rather than restrict themselves to a schedule of meals and Snacks, not because their sleeve is too big.
Good luck!

UPDATE TIME!!!! (I'm sorry I cannot respond to each of you individually now, but I was reading every single comment and you all helped so much and are so supportive, it really touched my heart- so much great advice!)
The last time I rescheduled my surgery (around when I wrote the original post) I was talking to my sister on the phone. My sister has been my rock. Her philosophy and she has always told me this, "I am supporting you no matter what your choice is. I don't know what you go through and it's your life and your choice and I support you, no matter what you do!" So we were talking and I was unsure if I was going to cancel my surgery or not. I REALLY needed to get my ducks in a row with my time of work (from the FAMILY business) and with childcare. I could manage between myself and my kids after I was home, it was just the part about while I was in the hospital and then someone who could help drive while I was still unable to after surgery.
I was just very unsettled about keeping my date and I was very unsettled about rescheduling it AGAIN. Also, because of all of the rescheduling and cancelling and family conflict, I had gained nearly 40lbs since March (when my original surgery was) having food funerals. I was feeling a bit depressed. So anyway, back to my story. I was telling my sister on the phone that I just didn't know what to do and her reply was that she couldn't make the decision for me. We went over the pro's and con's. Then she said she would talk to my family with me and basically they could either support me, or not, but she wanted to help me educate them.
Since I couldn't decide to keep my date or not, she jokingly said that I should do what her and her husband always do (seriously, if they can't agree on something- they use this method- the only rule: whatever the outcome is, they have to stick with it), flip a coin. I laughed and then said, "Do you have a coin?" (I was sitting at my desk in my office and didn't have one near me).
So------- she flipped a coin--- and it landed on Tails, which I had picked was "reschedule surgery for 30 days out- get things in order and tell everyone that's the date, no more changing or anything- support me or get out of my way" lol
So I rescheduled it- only there was nothing available in 30 days, I had to wait until October 19th.
Soooooo my sister helped relay this to my family (because I wasn't really talking to many of them at this point). Just this actually helped some of them creep closer to being more supportive of my surgery. I was talking to my mom again, although I never brought up my surgery to her, I just kept it to other topics. I cut out all caffeine and was trying to eat better so I wouldn't gain anymore weight having food funerals. It was a huge wake up call on my end to get ALL of my sh** in order before my surgery.
So 2 weeks before my surgery (actually the morning of my pre-op class) one of my cousins (about my age and a mother of 6) unexpectedly passed away. This was DEVASTATING to our family. It was such a huge shock and such a sad and heartbreaking loss, especially for her beautiful 6 children and my aunt and uncle. That morning I went to my sisters house because we were all upset over the news and my uncle was over. I broke down and told them I didn't know what to do- I really felt like I should go with them out to my aunt and uncles to be with them for the day and not go to my class (knowing if I didn't go to my class, they wouldn't let me have my surgery and it would have to be rescheduled). I felt like I was being so selfish, all things considered. They told me, like always, they couldn't make the decision for me, but that I had worked hard to get to this point, and that they would all be there and so would a lot of other people, that it was OK if I didn't go.
So I chose to go to my pre-op class, even though, I was crying almost the entire time, and wasn't even really "there". (Thank goodness we got print-outs of each of the power point slides LOL) At some point during the chaos of that day, my mom and step-dad told my uncle why I wasn't there (I should add, this uncle is the uncle who previously had a sleeve done!) My aunt and uncle completely understood me going to the class and my uncle talked to them about my surgery.
They did a complete 180. I am not sure if it was the timing, or if it was just because my mom needed her brother to explain it (I seriously told my mom everything he did) but my mom finally LISTENED and when she heard it was the same surgery my uncle had and everything- she was totally fine with it. Her and my step-dad talked to me, and they expressed how they wished I wasn't choosing to have surgery done, but that they were completely supportive of my decision and would help me in anyway they could.
My grandparents still aren't supportive, but I just don't talk about it with them. They are in their late 80's and they have never been overweight, honestly they just aren't ever going to understand. However, they still are there for me, and supportive and help anyway they can, but we just don't talk about my surgery.
So like I said at the beginning, I had my surgery on October 19th, and my mom was there by my side cheering me on! My family all came together to help watch my kids and get them to soccer and band and youth group and everything else. My surgery went AWESOME! With the exception of the day of the funeral, I followed my pre-op diet EXACT for the entire 2 weeks I was on it. The sleeve surgery and hernia repair went awesome. I was SUPER sick during recovery, but they gave me so many meds, I went back to sleep and don't remember anything else until I was back in my regular room later. My mom and grandparents were there for support during that time.
They made me get up and walk every 4 hours. I made it a personal challenge to myself, that each time I got up to walk, I would go one more lap around the floor. By the next day I was up to 6 laps. The nurses were floored and told me most of the people didn't even manage 1/2 a lap at a time. I was feeling AWESOME after my surgery (and seriously after having 4 c-sections, this surgery felt like nothing!) I went home the next day. The fact that I was doing so well seemed to be a HUGE surprise to my family, I think they all honestly thought it was going to be like my c-sections where you can hardly move for 2 weeks. By the weekend I was off my pain meds and taking my kids to their soccer tournament, making them meals etc.
I went back to work the next Monday (exactly 7 days after my surgery). I still take it easy, and one of my incisions is still sore, but I feel so great. My mom complimented me the other day on how I have a glow about me now, where I am just radiating. My mom and my step-dad have become my biggest cheerleaders! My kids are being awesome about it, and it's been a great learning experience for us so far!
I did find it cute that all of my nieces and nephews thought I would come home from the hospital skinny. My sister told me they asked, "will she look the same when she gets home?" lol
Sorry for the wall of text!
TL;DR - Flipped a coin, rescheduled surgery for the last time, now mom is my biggest cheerleader!

It was because I am a single mother of 4 children and without my families help, I wouldn't have anyone to take care of my kids (the youngest is only 2) for the 3 or 4 days I will be in the hospital. They threw such a stink and basically everyone who would have been able to watch them, refused to help because they were against the surgery. I now have a different plan set in place for the kids instead of relying on family. (First surgery date was much sooner than expected so I didn't have time to make the preparations in advance and needed my family to help), I also work for the family business, so I was getting a hard time about taking the time off because last year I broke my tail bone and was off work for almost 10 weeks, There was a lot to it. While they aren't on board with me still, they at least are keeping their mouths shut (aside from the constant barrage of, "you should try this diet with me!").
Thank you

I have an aunt and an uncle who both have had WLS and have had amazing long term results. However, the rest of my family is completely against WLS and is being very hurtful towards me in my decision to have it done as well. I won't get into all the details, but basically I have had to reschedule my surgery twice now, because of family members.
Anyway, what can I do to help "bring them to the other side"? I keep hearing that having surgery is not healthy and all this crap and everyone knows (insert some diet) here that will help me. (Nevermind that in the past 30 years I have tried literally every diet known to man- the first diet I went on I was in 5th grade!!!!!)
I also keep hearing the normal things like, "you are taking the easy way out" (lol which is so absurd to me) and things like, "you are making the biggest mistake of your life".
I know it's easy for others to just say, "f-em, you don't need them in your life" but the reality is that they are family and we always have been really close. It is SO hurtful to me that they are not supportive (aside from a few and my aunt and uncle who have previously had surgery). I am just looking for advice from friends and family members here, what is something that was helpful to change your mind and make you realize that it really is a smart decision?

Ahhhh!!!! I knew I was so close I couldn't wait to weigh myself until tomorrow (my weekly weigh-in days are Mondays) and I did it! I am exactly 100lbs less than the day i had surgery in October of last year!!!!! Woohooo me
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Ahhhh!!!! I knew I was so close I couldn't wait to weigh myself until tomorrow (my weekly weigh-in days are Mondays) and I did it! I am exactly 100lbs less than the day i had surgery in October of last year!!!!! Woohooo me
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Ahhhh!!!! I knew I was so close I couldn't wait to weigh myself until tomorrow (my weekly weigh-in days are Mondays) and I did it! I am exactly 100lbs less than the day i had surgery in October of last year!!!!! Woohooo me
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Tried on a pair of American Eagle jeans today. 38 waist 36 lenght cause I'm tall. They fit. Have not worn a 38 anything in over 20+ years.

Aw hell, one more picture. Just because.

Found an old pic today, definately makes me not ever want to go back to the old me.

As I'm continuing my new life journey of clothes shopping at non-big and tall stores. Found a nice J. Ferrer and Calvin Klein shirts I could wear. So I brought them.   
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