IncredibleShrinkingMan

Thanksgiving Day will be sedentary. All football and lounging and tedious discussions.
Then...Black Friday and OSU-Michigan 24-hour tailgate (lots of flag football). Expecting multiple 25K step fitbit days!

Thanksgiving Day will be sedentary. All football and lounging and tedious discussions.
Then...Black Friday and OSU-Michigan 24-hour tailgate (lots of flag football). Expecting multiple 25K step fitbit days!

Marriage is a sacrifice, but not a total concession of your own individual life. The stories of the unsupportive spouse are plentiful on this site, but I think this is pretty novel. So, all I'll ask is, would you be okay if she had had surgery and you continued to have reservations and she started to have doubts about you because you were not running for the surgery? If there is a backstory to this, such as that you are interested in somebody else or that you are simply no longer in love, I understand that as well as the fact that you'd rather not talk about it here.
I hesitate to think that following somebody down the same medical path is part of any tacit or openly acknowledged agreement within the marriage contract. You don't want to cajole her down this path without examining whether it is even the right thing for her. You are an item, but you may be two very different people. It was clearly a great move for you (I am looking at your numbers), but it could be a physical and mental disaster for her, not to mention a huge emotional investment into something that will not benefit her because of her mindset.

Not only have I not convinced anybody to have the surgery, but I will not even broach the subject with somebody who is of a category to be considering it. I think it is entirely inappropriate to bring up the possibility (I am not a doctor of any kind, but I don't think even surgeons or PCPs should be doing any more than mentioning it as a possibility) other than to make sure somebody is aware of the option (and that is if you are a doc). This is a decision that has to be organically rooted in one's own mind, and undue outside influence is bad even if the person ends up having the surgery and is wildly successful.
I would understand disagreement with this particular stance, but I am adamantly against actively prodding somebody in this direction.

Marriage is a sacrifice, but not a total concession of your own individual life. The stories of the unsupportive spouse are plentiful on this site, but I think this is pretty novel. So, all I'll ask is, would you be okay if she had had surgery and you continued to have reservations and she started to have doubts about you because you were not running for the surgery? If there is a backstory to this, such as that you are interested in somebody else or that you are simply no longer in love, I understand that as well as the fact that you'd rather not talk about it here.
I hesitate to think that following somebody down the same medical path is part of any tacit or openly acknowledged agreement within the marriage contract. You don't want to cajole her down this path without examining whether it is even the right thing for her. You are an item, but you may be two very different people. It was clearly a great move for you (I am looking at your numbers), but it could be a physical and mental disaster for her, not to mention a huge emotional investment into something that will not benefit her because of her mindset.
Not asking for to run and get surgery. It is an individuals own decision to do so and I do not personally think she should get surgery. I know I took a drastic measure to obtain a healthier lifestyle due to my morbid obesity, but I just think support by wanting the same, as we have always spoke of and acknowledged each other on, would be greatness.

Five months to your first stall (thereabouts) is actually exceptionally good. I hit my current stall at the three month mark and have spent the last two weeks fighting it. You don't have much data posted about your journey, but I would say keep positive and if you think you can tweak a few things (add a little exercise, etc...), do it, otherwise, you will hit the road again.

Not only have I not convinced anybody to have the surgery, but I will not even broach the subject with somebody who is of a category to be considering it. I think it is entirely inappropriate to bring up the possibility (I am not a doctor of any kind, but I don't think even surgeons or PCPs should be doing any more than mentioning it as a possibility) other than to make sure somebody is aware of the option (and that is if you are a doc). This is a decision that has to be organically rooted in one's own mind, and undue outside influence is bad even if the person ends up having the surgery and is wildly successful.
I would understand disagreement with this particular stance, but I am adamantly against actively prodding somebody in this direction.

String cheese, deli turkey, and chicken aren't solid foods?

String cheese, deli turkey, and chicken aren't solid foods?

Between my two-week pre-op and the three months (and change) since surgery, I have lost 90 lbs. I am almost even a little thankful for the present stall in which I find myself, because it could only make the progress healthier and more sustainable. That is by far my proudest victory. But the NSVs are countless...the biggest one being making good on the promise I made to myself to one day wear college-era clothes again that have since been boxed up in the attic. Congratulations on your century mark! See you in Onederland soon!

This is a real delicate act, I think. Of course, most of us were taught to clean our plate, but some of us were also taught only to procure so much food as will allow us to clean that plate. I have been giving food to homeless shelters and food banks prolifically for the last three months, because I have run into the exact problem you are describing despite my best efforts not to load up on things that I won't be able to get to prior to their expiration. I understand your ethical concern completely. However, I think that failing the donation solution, disposing of some food now and then is very forgivable, whereas eating for a purpose other than nourishing and sustaining yourself is no longer okay. At the peril of sounding crass, it really comes down to "wasting" some food versus wasting a very expensive surgery. I am sorry if I offended anybody, but I have been able to establish for myself a balance in this area with which I am satisfied.
I don't think you have OCD or any mental disorder whatsoever...I think you are a very laudable and responsible individual who can be trusted to reach a good solution each time you are confronted with this.

Most clothes "fit" a certain range of sizes. Five weeks ago, you may have been on the tight end of those clothes, especially if they weren't recent purchases, whereas today, they are probably nice and loose-flowing (or at least fitting well). Eventually, you'll need to hang them up. This is one of those times where I think you should emphasize what you see on the scale, whereas most people need to learn to back off a bit from the scale. Your scale progress, contrary to your assertions, is quite impressive, and is excellent news. 5 lbs/wk? That's outstanding. You have lost more than I had at my 5 week mark and I am quite thrilled with how this has gone for me (15 weeks out).

Amazing news! Christmas does come early!

I neglected to answer your third question. The answer is that it is absolutely impossible to stretch the sleeve back to the size of the pre-operative stomach. 85% of the tissue has been removed, and it is mathematically impossible to get back to that volume with only 15% of the former tissue present (the tissue would be ineffective at its biological functions if stretched this thin). That said, you may feel like you are back to where you were before surgery, but two realities still hold...first, once you are a certain distance out from surgery, you may have a vague idea of what your hunger was like, but most of us will grossly underestimate how hungry we were, because without the ghrelin, we have no ability to replicate those states...second, you may feel like you can eat a ton, but your question of what a "ton" is has been changed by the surgery and your new habits. That is a very good thing.

It's possible if you are chronically overstuffing it. That's what happened to our original stomachs. I don't know what you mean by "slip." That is generally a lap band term referring to when the band slips down the stomach, thereby reducing restriction. If you just overeat once or twice, the sleeve will stretch temporarily, making it easier to consume more for a short duration after that meal, but will contract back while you sleep, as though it were a spring. It is a very durable tool, and pretty hard to stretch it into a permanently larger volume, but it has been done and you want to try and avoid it. Unfortunately, even tests like the barium swallow are not too effective in determining whether or not this has occurred.

All amazing points made, @@gowalking
The more insidious things have to be pointed out to you, and yes, this site focusing way more on sudden NSVs than gradual ones. For example, HR told me today that I needed new pants and that I was starting to look like a bum because they are too big and so is my belt. I was mortified, and wondered if I should even have categorized it as an NSV. However, the incident got me thinking about how people now actually stop and chat at my desk (not just about weight loss) now and ask to go grab lunch and ask me to be in pictures at work functions.
My relationship with food isn't different, in full disclosure. I can just feed it less. But while some things in our non-food lives still have to be address on their own, this aspect is truly different. Thank you for pointing it out.

I neglected to answer your third question. The answer is that it is absolutely impossible to stretch the sleeve back to the size of the pre-operative stomach. 85% of the tissue has been removed, and it is mathematically impossible to get back to that volume with only 15% of the former tissue present (the tissue would be ineffective at its biological functions if stretched this thin). That said, you may feel like you are back to where you were before surgery, but two realities still hold...first, once you are a certain distance out from surgery, you may have a vague idea of what your hunger was like, but most of us will grossly underestimate how hungry we were, because without the ghrelin, we have no ability to replicate those states...second, you may feel like you can eat a ton, but your question of what a "ton" is has been changed by the surgery and your new habits. That is a very good thing.

I neglected to answer your third question. The answer is that it is absolutely impossible to stretch the sleeve back to the size of the pre-operative stomach. 85% of the tissue has been removed, and it is mathematically impossible to get back to that volume with only 15% of the former tissue present (the tissue would be ineffective at its biological functions if stretched this thin). That said, you may feel like you are back to where you were before surgery, but two realities still hold...first, once you are a certain distance out from surgery, you may have a vague idea of what your hunger was like, but most of us will grossly underestimate how hungry we were, because without the ghrelin, we have no ability to replicate those states...second, you may feel like you can eat a ton, but your question of what a "ton" is has been changed by the surgery and your new habits. That is a very good thing.

It's possible if you are chronically overstuffing it. That's what happened to our original stomachs. I don't know what you mean by "slip." That is generally a lap band term referring to when the band slips down the stomach, thereby reducing restriction. If you just overeat once or twice, the sleeve will stretch temporarily, making it easier to consume more for a short duration after that meal, but will contract back while you sleep, as though it were a spring. It is a very durable tool, and pretty hard to stretch it into a permanently larger volume, but it has been done and you want to try and avoid it. Unfortunately, even tests like the barium swallow are not too effective in determining whether or not this has occurred.

Um, yep, case in point! But it's not like FB doesn't occupy an equal amount of my down time!

It's not a form of OCD in my opinion. I grew up poor. My mom could make leftovers last a week. Nothing was wasted. We also had the "clean plate club". I'm sure that many other people here had something similar. Didn't matter if you liked it or not, that's what there was to eat. We were praised as children to finish our food and "clean our plate" with the slice of bread at the end.
Now that I am older and not poor, you would think that I could break that habit. Nope. I didn't get this far by being a wasteful person. Unfortunately, I did get fat by not being the wasteful person. Here is what we are doing in my house now. We are only cooking a very little bit. If they are still hungry afterwards, they can make something for themselves. Turns out, if they have to work for it they aren't that interested in it! Maybe try that for your boyfriend and their kids.

Most clothes "fit" a certain range of sizes. Five weeks ago, you may have been on the tight end of those clothes, especially if they weren't recent purchases, whereas today, they are probably nice and loose-flowing (or at least fitting well). Eventually, you'll need to hang them up. This is one of those times where I think you should emphasize what you see on the scale, whereas most people need to learn to back off a bit from the scale. Your scale progress, contrary to your assertions, is quite impressive, and is excellent news. 5 lbs/wk? That's outstanding. You have lost more than I had at my 5 week mark and I am quite thrilled with how this has gone for me (15 weeks out).

My obsessions are there and stronger than ever. My mind has not failed to catch up, per se, but I just don't think it ever realized that I got big...there were so many other problems in my life that there appears to have been no room for that one.
I am sorry about the lack of family support. There are two unfortunate extremes in this business...those that think the surgery can solve everything and that it's a panacea, and those that think it is entirely inappropriate and horrible (even if they admit it might help you). Neither is correct. Each surgery does what it does to your anatomy. Nobody operates on your brain. I think it is a good idea to admit that that is a much slower process and that it may not ever come around. Nothing will ever be perfect, especially not in the estimation of a perfectionist, but it gives you a chance at a great life and takes the heavy premium off of completely rewiring your brain. A new mentality, I have found, is good enough.

Most NSV's involve something ego-petting, but this is priceless. Congratulations!

Nothing edible, unless I also loved it before. Isopure shakes might be one exception, but that might be the healthy feeling you get from consuming them rather than the actual sensual pleasure derived.
I have learned to love airplane seatbelts, gym scales, measuring tapes, and half portion options (I don't think I had previously ever ordered one). I could go on and on and it would get even funnier. Anybody who wants to co-author a book entitled "1,001 NSV's" or a "365 NSV year-in-a-box" calendar PM me!