fatsolovescandy

@@Doubletruble#1 Great question! You have so many good things on your list!
I have a list going in my mind....
2 knee surgeries (as soon as my BMI is below 40, as that is what the surgeon requires. One replacement, the other big bone spur)
Whatever plastics my insurance allows. Fix this hernia my surgeon didn't fix because it's so big.
Go outside, literally. Unless I have to go to the Dr. or shopping, I rarely leave my home. I'm so self-conscious. I've had horrible issues with OCD, and anxiety in general for many years. I'm hoping losing this weight will eliminate one more thing that keeps me locked inside, like a prisoner.
Get a bike. Pink. Start riding around like I'm the wicked witch of the midwest. hehehe
Go to Ireland. (It's a lifelong dream. I will be able to walk and bike and paint...which is exactly what I want to spend a lot of time doing. I also don't smoke anymore, 1.5 years ago I stopped. Travel abroad seems like a real possibility)
Do even more travelling. I'd love to do Disney and NYC (need to be able to do a lot of walking)
Get a dog, FINALLY....because I have wanted one for so many years, and I couldn't get out, and even walk well or long enough to take care of a dog. I want a Boston Terrier, a male, and I'm going to name him Buster!
Start singing in public again. I host open mics, and sing online twice a week. But I want to get out in public again, and sing with the kind of confidence I had when I was younger. I was still fat then, but getting bigger and bigger over the years has really taken a toll on my self esteem.
Date.

I hadn't heard of the icelandic yogurt, thanks for sharing.
Be aware that all "greek" yogurts are not the same. True greek yogurt is extensively strained to get the whey out which then leads to thicker, more condensed yogurt with more Protein.... Yoplait (and others) are not true greek yogurt as they use additives and fillers to thicken the yogurt, so if you are concerned about getting true additive-free yogurt, check the label for things like guar gum and pectin, carrageenan, sodium citrate, potassium sorbate, corn starch. I know this doesn't matter to everyone, but it did to me when I learned so thought I would share. I personally eat Fage, which as no fillers, additives etc added.
http://www.npr.org/s...-purists-fuming

When i was first sleeved... all I wanted to be was normal. You know, just normal. Not the hugest woman in every room. Not the woman who outweighed all the men. Not the person who was pretty much "invisible" or invoked disgust since I was so misshapen due to obesity. Not the person who had to shop in the plus sized. I just wanted normal.
You know what I got? - beautiful! i know that sounds like bragging, but I love how i look. I love my body. I thank God daily (and I don't even claim to be Christian) for this gift. I have something that so many women take for granted... by the grace of God... I am an attractive person. I have girlfriends who are so incredibly beautiful and they are so self critical. I just want to shake them... dang it! Appreciate this - don't judge yourself so hard!!!
The words I have chosen probably don't accurately describe what I am trying to say... but after being trapped by/buried by fat... it is a wonder what it is like to be free from it. I am saddened by so many who feel so unworthy and even after weight loss don't recognize just how amazing they are. How incredibly beautiful they are - both inside and externally. How incredibly worthy they are of having the best life possible.
I have to credit a person in my life who helped me see this. Without his affirmations that were genuine and so generously given, i might still be one of the doubters...

Oh there I am, right after indulging in Taco Tuesday's!

The one who can navigate a room without taking out innocent bystanders with my Godzilla like nether regions.

By the time you're actually able to eat pureed foods after being on the liquid diet, a dead rat will taste good pureed. Believe me.

Other commenters are definitely right that this is a decision you have to make for yourself. Only you can know what's really right for you! I have a few ideas that I hope might help you. But if they don't, just ignore them!
It sounds like your weight is affecting your quality of life in a serious way (something I absolutely understand!). Be kind to yourself and remember you're a worthy individual with or without excess weight! Also remember, that if this is a tool you think can help you, you should allow yourself to pursue it. You deserve it! As you decide, information will definitely be your friend. Talk to your doctor about your health concerns and how losing weight will affect your individual health (considering your personal medical conditions and such). Also talk to a bariatric surgeon about how surgery works, the risks, the benefits, etc.
I remember something my surgeon said that really helped me. He said research shows that people who quality for surgery (based on BMI) have a 2 percent chance of losing the weight and keeping it off long-term without surgery. With surgery, those same people have a 50 percent chance or higher. That really opened my eyes. It helped quiet my inner critic (This "I'm a failure because I can't do it without surgery" thinking is total crap.) and also really showed me the benefit of surgery for someone in my situation. The surgeon also said being young (32) and relatively healthy otherwise is in my favor. Maybe you can talk to your doctor and potential surgeon about whether that's the case for you too.
Additionally, I feel really good at the clinic and surgeon doing my surgery. I'm going to an academic medical center whose program and surgeon have outcomes above the national average and are well-respected. I say that to say that researching the clinic/surgeon where you're thinking of having your surgery might help.
Also, I have a friend who had a gastric bypass about 10 years ago. She helped me realize I'm not never going to be able to enjoy food again. Things will be different 2 years out than they are a month out and so forth.
Re: your daughter, I was overweight as a child just like her. I was picked on and it was hard. However, I can tell you from personal experience that the SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT thing you can do for her is make sure she doesn't get the message that she's only a worthy individual if she's not overweight. Do whatever you can to help her build a healthy self-esteem. That will do a lot to set her up for a healthy life. Pair that with the basics, like we eat these kinds of foods because they provide really good nourishment for our bodies and look, they taste so good! And we enjoy physical activity because it's good for our hearts and lungs, it helps us build strong muscles and bones, and it relieves stress and releases good hormones. NOT because we have to look a certain way or we're not worthy.
Good luck!

There is a lot going on with your post so I am only going to try to touch on a few points. First, I am only an expert in ME and I realize that my comments do not apply to everyone so take it with a grain of salt.
My background:
Second, I was overweight (but not obese) as a teen, got to about 220 by my late 20s (I remember because I was pregnant and strictly ordered to gain NO weight during pregnancy. Back in those days 220 was considered HUGE for a 5'5" woman, times have changed a bit on that). My weight stayed in the mid 200s for most of the decade of my 30s.
I had a lapband when I was 37 - I weighed 272 - my lifetime high at that point. I lost some weight, but didn't do well overall. I got to my lifetime high weight of about 350 with a lapband and no fill
Band was removed in 2011; revised to sleeve in December of 2011 at 308 pounds
I got to my goal of 158 by Feb 2013 and maintaining...
During my overweight, obese and morbidly obese years I tried every diet under the sun, went to YEARS of counseling as the thinking at that time that overweight was essentially a mental or character flaw. Counseling helped with some stuff, but I clearly just got heavier and heavier...I was diagnosed with a zillion medical conditions: fibermyalgia, depression, anxiety, high blood pressure, sleep apnea, fatty liver and according to my family, a less happy personality. Oh, PCOS was thrown out there too, but i was never formerly diagnosed.
Fears:
I was terrified of gastric bypass in 2001 which is why i picked the band. I can admit now, but didn't then that I had huge denial. Somehow in my mind, the band wasn't really bariatric surgery.. it was just this little thing I did to try to lose weight. I was deeply committed, but did not have the support and frankly picked the wrong procedure for me based on that fear and denial. I really didn't understand the SHIFT required from me for long term success.
I was a basket case over my decision to revise to the sleeve. I think my list looked alot like yours... but I think i can summarize the fear like this: "what if i go through hell and I fail AGAIN and am still obese? i don't know if I can go through that again..."
by the time I was sleeved, i was so "over" food as entertainment because my over indulgence was literally KILLING me. When I was banded, i was in complete denial on that point. I highly recommend that you face your worries over not enjoying food in your presurgery timeframe as this is a very tough topic - even for those of us that were relatively speaking "over it"
Truth of the matter is that years out, you can eat pretty normally... but the first year or so, you really do eat tiny portions and a sensitive person won't like that in social settings. And in the years out, just because you "can" eat normally doesn't mean you "should" in order to maintain your losses.
Education on obesity:
This is a huge topic but obesity is a disease state and i think it is really important to understand the grip it has on you physically. There is a good reason that for people who have gotten quite heavy, the chances of maintaining a significant weight loss without surgery is about 2%. That isn't because we are all neurotic messes - it is because your body changes!
I saw a "weight loss" expert counselor who was convinced I had deep dark secrets I was repressing - I had a crappy childhood and there were no secrets there! After years and years of counseling there were no secrets left but she thought I was lying. It was this forum here that made me realize there was something else - like I was FREAKING HUNGRY 24/7 - this is related to understanding the disease process of obesity.
Other health stuff:
At some point presleeve i decided that alot of my diagnosis were irrelevant (especially the ones that couldn't be treated like fibermyalgia). I decided to focus on the primary problem which was my weight. It was a good call because most (not all) my health problems disappeared when i lost weight and became very active.
sometimes i think all those medical diagnosis can be ... paralyzing. It is almost like focusing on the leaf on a tree instead of the bigger forest fire heading my way...
Age:
On the one hand, your youth is a real advantage in the weight loss world. I could lose weight pretty easily in my 20s/30s, just could keep it off. By my late 40s, I couldn't even lose weight anymore on all sorts of crazy diets and programs.... in the end, that is what forced my hand to getting the sleeve actually.
On the downside, one advantage i had in my late 40s was to be more selfish/focused on myself. My kids were older, they could buy their own Snacks and keep them hidden from me etc. When kids were little and wanted to do normal things like go to restaurants, have treats and stuff - it was killer for me as that junk food stuff is like a sirens call...
BTW, I never put my one "heavier" (not obese) kid on a diet. He did slim down over the last several years. i feel a great deal of shame realizing that it was ME providing the diet and lifestyle that was making him chunky. I thank the stars everyday that i was able to model these changes for him while it was still time for him to learn from it. I should also share that he confided that he never "feels full" which is exactly how I was pre sleeve so I do wonder if there is some sort of imbalance genetically in some of us!
I think you should go for it, but i highly recommend a strong support system (both professional help like nutritionalist and in your personal life), get really educated on life post surgery, seek counseling and support for your fears. You can do this and I hope you get a chance to enjoy your 30s, 40s and many decades to follow without carrying around essentially the weight of a grown man around on your body! It is hard for me to imagine how I even functioned at 300-350# when I look back. It takes a lot of strength both physically and emotionally to do that.
i should also share that i am 51 and looking at hip replacement probably 20-30 years before is typical. Cause? Most likely the DECADES of being morbidly obese. I want you to avoid those kind of problems that can show up even after you lose the weight.

I'm a fellow PCOS sister. Despite the amount of weight you have to lose, it's going to be even harder due to our condition alone. I suggest you speak to a bariatric surgeon, but having the gastric sleeve was one of the best things I've ever done. Emotionally speaking, it helped me gain control of my body again.
Your story weighs in heavily on my heart. I was 29 at the time of my surgery...we have much more living to do!

Your story has a familiar ring to all of us here, I'm sure. And you are asking the same questions we've all had to consider as well. I can't make the decision for you or give you any promises that any of your fears won't become reality, as that's a risk we all have to weigh individually.
I've been considering weight loss surgery for years. And after deciding to proceed, it took another year to get through the approval process (everyone's is different), and now my surgery is less than two weeks away. I can honestly say at this point, I personally have no more doubts or questions, because I've spent this entire last year researching until my fingers bled from typing, talking to post ops, going on forums, classes, seminars, you name it and I've done it. Information is the key.
I would encourage you to do the same. And I think it's great that you are considering this at a young age. I'm 54 and have been fat nearly my entire life. I wish I could have those early years back, but I'm bound and determined to get the most out of the years I have left, by losing the weight and regaining my health!
Good luck on your journey. I wish you well!

Electing to have weight loss surgery was, for me, choosing myself first and my healthy future. It changed everything for me and I only wish I had done it sooner. I could not lose weight without it -- well, I could, I could lose a lot of weight, but then I'd put it back on with even more each time. A vicious cycle that wore down my self-esteem and my health.
I am some one who benefitted from seeing a therapist. I wanted an objective third party to go through the process with me. It wasn't like I hadn't done a lot of work on my self already (I'm in my fifties) but this time it was different. For me surgery was a huge decision -- I had never even been an overnight patient in a hospital before. Plus I was admitting that I really could not lose the weight on my own and needed intervention. And I had to confront my worthiness as well as fears that it might not work, etc. we also broke down my triggers -- the ways I'd reward myself with food or prep for something I didn't want to do by eating, or tamping down my emotions with food. We got very specific and even though before surgery I couldn't really stop al of those things, I allowed myself to notice them, to acknowledge the behavior.
Know that whatever surgery you and your doctor decide is right for you, you are choosing yourself. You are going to have a blast with those kids. Best wishes to you!

It's such a weird sensation! I still feel "fat!" But I've lost 71 pounds since 1/20/15. I went from a size 20 and am now fitting into a size 7/8! I struggle with trying to reconcile how quickly my body is changing and how I see myself! I am so happy with my decision to have surgery, but it's hard to adjust the "fat" mindset! I find that I am no longer buying multiple colors of the same shirt!! I didn't even realize I did that until I started getting rid of old clothes!!! I too hated shopping! Congrats to everyone on the start of their new lives!

You guys are funny!!! I guess we need to find laughter through it all!
I love when we have jeans day at work at least my dimples don't show through like they do in my ever so tight work pants although, the friction and sound of my thighs rubbing together in jeans makes me think I am trying to start a forest fire!

My surgery was last Monday, 7/13. I lost 10lbs during my one-week-liquid pre-op diet and have lost another 10 this last week. It's really exciting because I can already tell a difference. I wore a bra comfortably for the first time today in at least six months--the back strap would always roll up and get stuck between back fat rolls. I also just feel better. Even though I'm recovering and in pain, it's easier for me to maneuver myself than it has been for a long time. The best part though is that my legs aren't hurting as much. I can lie on my side and put them together at the knees and not feel pain in my joints after five minutes. I want more of this please!!!

Wow! Can't believe I'm getting ready to admit to this.... Well here goes nothing????
I absolutely refuse to buy anymore clothes in the current size I am in now which is an 18. The slacks that I wear to work no longer fit me...meaning I can no longer button them. I have damaged so many of those metal hooks and bent them out of place that now I just use my belt to hold them in place. The zipper on them doesn't work any longer as well so I try to wear shirts that are long enough to cover the zipper and constantly pull my top down all through out the day. I can't tell you how many pairs of slacks I have literally busted out of! Super embarrassing.
I can't wait to start my journey with a new tool. I don't ever want to worry about busting out of my clothes again! LOL!

@@wheezysmom Ha! I have my old yoga pants that I LiVED in!! I never did any yoga either!

My surgery was last Monday, 7/13. I lost 10lbs during my one-week-liquid pre-op diet and have lost another 10 this last week. It's really exciting because I can already tell a difference. I wore a bra comfortably for the first time today in at least six months--the back strap would always roll up and get stuck between back fat rolls. I also just feel better. Even though I'm recovering and in pain, it's easier for me to maneuver myself than it has been for a long time. The best part though is that my legs aren't hurting as much. I can lie on my side and put them together at the knees and not feel pain in my joints after five minutes. I want more of this please!!!

My surgery was last Monday, 7/13. I lost 10lbs during my one-week-liquid pre-op diet and have lost another 10 this last week. It's really exciting because I can already tell a difference. I wore a bra comfortably for the first time today in at least six months--the back strap would always roll up and get stuck between back fat rolls. I also just feel better. Even though I'm recovering and in pain, it's easier for me to maneuver myself than it has been for a long time. The best part though is that my legs aren't hurting as much. I can lie on my side and put them together at the knees and not feel pain in my joints after five minutes. I want more of this please!!!

@@dhrguru - OMG you had been laughing so loud at the reference to the biscuit container!!!!
I totally get that
I used to use rubber bands, or ponytail holders to "extend" the button on my shorts or pants. Of course I hadn't worn pants with a zipper or button in about 5 years until about 2 months ago. Now I am wearing pants with ZIPPERS! and front pockets (that I can actually use).

Surgery was Monday 7/13. Can't believe it has nearly been a week. Still can't believe I did it, to be honest. Hasn't really sunk in yet. It was more difficult for me to get through the one week pre-op of liquids only than this last week--except when I was nauseous and vomiting. Lost 10lbs pre-op and 10 more so far this week. Can already tell a difference and it's really positive!

My surgery was last Monday, 7/13. I lost 10lbs during my one-week-liquid pre-op diet and have lost another 10 this last week. It's really exciting because I can already tell a difference. I wore a bra comfortably for the first time today in at least six months--the back strap would always roll up and get stuck between back fat rolls. I also just feel better. Even though I'm recovering and in pain, it's easier for me to maneuver myself than it has been for a long time. The best part though is that my legs aren't hurting as much. I can lie on my side and put them together at the knees and not feel pain in my joints after five minutes. I want more of this please!!!

LoL! I also refused to buy bigger clothes to fit my scarily increasing size. I also refused to wear anything that didn't have an elastic waist. I even continued to wear my maternity pant... 3 years after having my son! It worked but it kinda sucks I cant see my progress by needing smaller sizes. Now I just fit the same clothes I wore before better lol. At least I havnt had to spend a fortune!

@@Alex Brecher Thank you! And now I'm thinking about pizza and doughnuts -

I'm gonna be happy just going out to buy 3x scrubs soon, I was 7x scrubs and I'm gonna buy a T-shirt of every color at my HR, cause there were only 2 of the 12 shirts that fit me the last two years, and I want outrageous scrubs like purple, and some yellow ones, it's gonna serve a dual purpose since iWork on a psych unit!!! Lol

Some sweet posts here.
Y'all are not gonna believe how fast you're going to be feeling so much better. Your hope is not misplaced.
Promise!