WLSResources/ClothingExch

I referred to personal property and to those who leave of their own accord. I'm well aware of terms of service, as any internet site in which I've participated includes a standard provision that applies to me with about 5% exception. The provision is one that I favor because it protects me. Employment contracts and agreements at resignation cover enough of the same ground and more as terms of service. I appreciate a sense of duty to protect life, limb and sanity of users. What you write now is not quite the same as your earlier versions. You left room earlier to question your standards for accessing what users believe is private. A big hole remains in that area. I would be interested to know when the the "terms of service" available tonight was last amended.

Hey, I never said I'm perfect. I leave that to others.

If you're among those waiting to move along, you have the ability to extricate yourself from the thread and the vitriol. If you're lingering because, like those who materialize out of the ether to stare at traffic accidents, you're transfixed. You're on the horns of a dilemma. The good part is that choice is inherent.

I've had to go back only once that I can recall to have some of a fill removed. Getting it just right can be tricky. It doesn't help that a band that's just right for long time can go either too loose or too tight on a whim. Lots of people choose to do liquids now and then. It's not my way. It would feel like punishment which is the last thing I want to feel. Just so you know, I wrote the first note the way I did because I don't have it all together. I lost 115 after surgery, but then a life event started me regaining about 80. Then twice i lost 25, but regained. Last July I went in for a check up and to reconnect with my surgery practice. So far I've lost about 35 (?) I think -- I'm not an avid or compulsive-crazed weigher because I know that, if I eat properly, I'll lose weight. Seeing any gain on the scale will not spur me to renewing or increasing my effort. Some days are difficult and when I do overeat or eat poor choices, I've been managing to rein myself back in soon enough. I'm not even sure whether, if I were stricter with myself, my rate of loss would increase. I'm at a point where, as long as I'm losing, the rate isn't all thta important. There are limits, though -- if it were just a few pounds a month, for example, I'd be hopping up and down and plotting to speed it up.

There, you've said it yourself. Many people don't understand their practices' instructions in the early days because so much new material is thrown at them. It didn't occur to them to get clarification from truly appropriate sources. Others don't understand because the didn't pay attention. Yet others are short on adult capability of requesting or demanding the assistance they need. There are plenty of other reasons for getting lost along the way. These are the people who need straightforward replies because sweet talk and coddling is where they'll stop -- too many are too confused or unrealistic to stay with it until the solid info. You haven't been here long or often enough, perhaps, to have seen how often new people come along with the same bewilderment and misunderstandings or adamant insistence on hearing only what they want to hear. If you want perfect little ladies and gentlemen to respond to those wandering in the dark, it won't happen. Those who do respond have good intentions. Those of dubious intentions are unavoidable. That's how it works when you have a barrel of humans The balance is the frequency with which most members point to a sound direction and, in return, receive everything from pouts to screaming tantrums because their input isn't what was wanted. And then there are the confused newcomers who are grateful and appreciative of direct, clear response aimed between their eyes. How nice it is to know that help isn't always wasted. Anyway, that's my little rant and I don't care a fig about its being so disorganized. A well-organized rant isn't authentic. Well, okay, the truth is that I"m not paid enough here to edit myself.

In my previous note, I wrote that some conspiracies such as you're describing as nauseating would not be a surprise. I've not been privy to backroom messages, but have no doubt that I've seen a few results in the forums. I respect that BP is a business and that you want and intend to continue to run it as a business to realize financial growth and a livelihood. In the process you've provided a service that clearly, given the numbers, is in demand. That said, it is insulting for you to say that you will not delete accounts and go on to say that your decisions are not about money. Advertising revenue depends on the number of subscribers/users/members. The greater the enrollment, the greater the income. That's all well and good. If it really weren't about money, I think you'd be happy to close accounts, as doing so wouldn't cost you anything. I repeat: I have no problem with the business practice, but I do with subterfuge.

Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood was fiction. The idea for BP was excellent. That it's grown and is still operating is excellent and surprising; many home-grown sites last a while and disappear long before the 13-year mark. The rub is the naivete or disingenuousness -- I don't know which and prefer not to speculate -- that speaks of any place where everyone will feel safe. The world doesn't work that way least of all because there will always be those who will feel safe only if they crawl back into the womb. I do not doubt that newcomers and the seasoned have expressed dismay. The truth, nevertheless, is that "you can't please all of the people all of the time." If it were possible, the phrase would not be enclosed by quotation marks. Unsubstantiated second- and third-hand reports from ASMBS members or other non-participants have no place in the discussion. Have you really received reports of conspiracies conjured in private? I think it's likely because anyone can sign up for BP, including those with middle-school mentalities. How many take part in such cartels? You wrote twice (one fell out of the quotation here) that a "tiny minority" of members have menaced more tender members and once that most members are supportive, sweet, helpful -- good scouts, shall we say. That's a most impressive record. It seems that there's nothing to complain about. You've described a website that mirrors the larger world. Not bad at all.

There is hope for an abuser if the abuser stops abusing. From your telling, I think you abused yourself more than you did the band by not seizing the opportunity it offered. Whether you can form a partnership now remains to be seen. No way is my intention to make you feel bad, but I'd waste both our time if I coddle you and pat your head. First, though, is that you pick yourself up while never beating yourself up -- beating yourself up is a great way to gain weight. All things are possible and therefore, your surgery practice may not have given you all the guidance and instructions that should be given. In my experience, it's usually the bandee who doesn't want to hear the drill because it's not what she wants to hear. I've come across this countless on this and other sites. To those who say the info was withheld, the obvious question is "Why didn't you ask questions?" The worst scenario is where the band owner exclaims, "You mean I'm supposed to do something? The band isn't magic?" Does saying "I have plans to get to the LB doctor" mean that you've made an appointment? The only plan that matters is the one that's been set in motion. You won't know much about the viability of your band now until you go in, have an esophagram and whatever else the surgeon finds useful. If all is promising, it's up to you get learn to tell when the band is adjusted optimally and how to make the best food choices. The band is an aid. It doesn't lose weight. You're in charge of your own weight-loss with aid of the band. While you're making appts, also see the practice RD. Start keeping a detailed food tracker -- every morsel. Lots of people use My Fitness Pal. There are other free options, too. The written/electronic record does more than tell you what you can still do later in the day. It helps you determine where there's room for improvement should your diligent efforts be awry. Try the practice's support group two or three times to determine how it can help. If it's too loosey-goosey or some such for your personality and the way you operate, check with other nearby hospitals. It's rare that they don't welcome outside patients to their groups. At the very least, a monthly meeting puts another couple of hours of structure into your schedule. Structure through the day helps most people. Until your band is adjusted to work with you well, it's up to you to eat properly. It'll be up to you, too, later on. Always up to you.

@@Babbs -- I just happen to be listening to a few YouTube videos of reggae versions of "A Groovy Kind of Love (there's a reason, don't laugh at me)" and, somehow, in the mix in the column of offerings down the right side of the youtube screen, was this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrdReoHAi6M What got me is this Conway's comment early in the video about wishing Meryl Streep would calm down and realize that "this is our president...." As the stars are my witnesses, I shall never use the word "president" or the title with its initial cap. in conjunction with the trump name. It's a physical, mental, emotional, intellectual, anti-intellectual (that one's a gift to you, P), ethical, humanitarian, American impossibility. To be respected, one must be respectable. He falls short.

As a lifelong New Yorker, I've been aware of certain conduct and speech through the years that are widely known here. None of it bodes well. If he has policies and proposals, they have begun to form only in about the past six weeks, less so then than now. He has no thought process. I can't accept any individual in a position of power who has no means of expression. His two multi-syllabic words are "Beautiful" and "Wonderful," which, when applied to important matters, say nothing. How can I take seriously someone who came to national attention as the host of an extended television game show? How can I take seriously someone of 70 who has achieved the emotional maturity of a mewling, tantrum-throwing two-year old? Mostly he opens his mouth and waits to hear what spills out. There was little or no consistency through the endless campaign. I've marveled all along at the working class and blue-collar people who supported him. What's been the attraction? Does the lack of intellect and intelligence make them think he's one of them (and I do know that being a working-class person does not mean that one is unintelligent or not intellectual)? Well, guess again. He's unconcerned with them. What was that you were saying about "anti-intellectual?" Then there are the matters of ethics and decency. Need I say more? I'm glad you went into more about the Facebook person. There is shadow over her now.

@@OKCPirate, you "liked" that. What happened to the more piratical version of yourself? I expected a walk-the-plank message. You're softening. I have hope for you yet despite the first glimpse at your political views. Ay ay ay. P.S. Just got your note immediately above. I'll take my pablum with a spoon, thank you.

I think yYour use is the first I've come across the term "social justice warrior." If I have heard it, it was swept up in a barrage of rhetoric and imagesi So that I wouldn't misunderstand, I googled for the meaning, read it and thought "Nice, that's derogatory." I clicked out and went back to find the origin, but clicked out again when I saw the notation, "derogatory." The source became moot. I had to read "anti-intellectual left" a few times and wondered at the juxtaposition of words. We don't know the same people. I think of the "redneck right" (not my usual expression, but it fits here) as anti-intellectual. Let's just say that we come from different neighborhoods. It also took a couple of looks for me to see that you hadn't been defriended. It seems to me that, if one chooses derogatory terms, one shouldn't be surprised by landing in an echo chamber. Basing the topic on internet associations, however, makes the topic shaky to my way of thinking. Would you knowingly have as a real-world friend someone you would consider a bigot? Would that person be welcomed at your dinner table? Sometimes discourse is not meant to be. It can go in circles and around the block for days and then everyone goes back to their houses, forgets the discussion, maybe gets huffy and everything stays the same. P.S. re your title: The political certainly does become personal. They're inextricably linked.

@@Coachthex32 P.S. If the friend to whom I am not speaking does not overeat or scarf his food, his band may be too tight and need adjusting.

Since you'd like to know in advance, put the question -- and others you ma have -- to your surgery practice now?

Sheesh, at first glance I knew that you and your non-stoopid questions were going to be trouble. You have answered your own question. You reached the point when you thought, "I can eat another bite or three, but I don't need them. I am satiated now." You will most often, if not always, recognize the moment if you eat slowly, chew thoroughly and pause between bites. Let your system have time to feel that you've arrived. Pay attention so that you don't miss the moment. It will take extra mindfulness early in your surgery career and become more second nature in time -- but never stop paying attention, as there are no guarantees. Eating alone makes it easier to be aware, for example, than having company at the table. Pay no attention to your friend. He's doing things all wrong. I have no way of knowing if it's emotional appetite that makes him overeat or that he just never figured it out. His spitting up may be a result not of overeating, but of eating too quickly, taking too-large bites, eating foods that are especially fibrous. Also, squishy things may not sit well for him. Band people are generally told not to eat bread, Pasta, rice or other things that, when cooked, can be squished by hand into a ball -- they can get stuck on the way down with only one way out. If he doesn't know these things or ignores them....Well, he's not the one I'm talking to. You are.