Finding-me

kk-Bear, my first appointment where he approved my surgery if I passed all the permissions from Cardiologist, psychologist, and pulminologist was about six weeks before surgery. From my paper signing day and doctor review there were 4 days before surgery. The hospital experience was excellent and I had very caring nurses. I actually walked three rounds around my floor the evening of my afternoon surgery. By day two I was able to make thirty rounds in groups of ten rounds. Walking was the key to keep the gas from settling in my joints which I'm told is very painful. Day I came home from the hospital I walked a mile with minimal discomfort. I've followed BMI's regimen to the letter. They really know what they are talking about. I'm in day two of soft Protein and 1/2 C vegetables.
I hope you have a terrific recovery. Best of luck in your journey

What a sad story. I think I'll send up a little prayer that she doesn't give up and finds her way back to that pool or another more accommodating one and doesn't get discouraged about improving her health.

I am very glad to say that the YMCA where I take Water aerobics has a lift and I've seen it being used under just those circumstances. The teenage lifeguard was so kind and gentle with the lady. He put her completely at ease with everything that was happening. Too bad we lost him to an out of state college!

Oh that could have been me if I'd have waited any longer. Right around the time I first went to see my surgeon I got a gym membership because I knew that at 450 pounds the ONLY exercise I could attempt was walking in the water/dog paddling. I would walk back and forth across the pool for about 25 minutes and then tread Water for 35 minutes in the deep end. The first time I went to get out, I was scared.
I was wearing one of those bathing suits with the skirt so (of course) it was soaked and not helping by holding me down that much more. Luckily I was able to grab the ladder (this pool has steps at the shallow end that are not nearly as gradual as they should be) and pull myself up step by step. I remember thinking that had I been just a tad older or with a little less muscle tone or a little bit heavier I may have needed help.
Like you, I hope she keeps coming back and doesn't let this set her back.

All our pools are equipped with portable stairs that can be moved to any side of the pool where they might be needed in case of elderly/injury/obesity. That's a HUGE safety issue, IMO. What if she had a heart attack?

Ugh that stinks. I was a lifeguard when I was in college and we had a handicap lift that helped larger people and those who couldn't crawl out of the pool due to injuries or whatever. It would be nice if pools that had aqua aerobics all had this type of device. I would have been so mortified if I was her and I would likely never have gone back, which certainly doesn't help her at all.

I went to my Water exercise class last night and there was an extremely morbidly obese woman in the Water struggling to get out of the pool. It took two strong men and her friend or sister to get her out. It also took several minutes. Our class had started thank goodness but I could see that there were still people watching this going on and all I could think was here was this woman at least trying to do something good for herself and I didn't know if she would ever come back because of this challenge to get out of the water.
I wanted so badly to tell her to keep at it but I knew it was none of my business. Plus...I would have wanted to explain that I knew how hard it was to be so physically challenged and again, I would have been giving her my story without knowing if she was the least bit interested.
So I kept my mouth shut but I do hope she comes back and they make arrangements with the staff to make sure she can get out of the pool without so much difficulty next time.
All I know is that I felt so badly for her. Both because she was so obese but because there was no dignity to being hauled out of the water like she was. I don't know they could have done it differently but it wasn't a good thing as they were pushing and pulling.

I was down 14 pounds! Total of 20lbs. I am cleared to start pureed soft foods on Thursday. I think I need to have a party LOL. I cannot wait. I think I will start with pureed grilled chicken and a taste of mashed potatoes. Oh I don't know, but really excited. They already dropped one of my three B/P meds !! Honestly just a lucky one. I never had pain, soreness yes but not pain. I had no nausea, but I think that is because I was given the option to take "Emend" 3 hours prior to surgery. It is a nausea medications given to chemo patients and for one pill cost me $50.00 with insurance. Worth it , totally worth it. Cleared to take bike rides too. It is a wonderful day. :D :D :D :D

You CAN, you are just choosing not to. I hope your choices don't lead to complications. Eating what you wanted when you wanted got you into this place of needing WLS. No reason to believe that eating what you want when you want will find you equally as successful in losing it, right?

I'm sure he has your best interest at heart. He wants your surgery to be as safe as possible and for your recovery to be easier, I imagine. That said, I'm sure this was very hard to hear and it seems like a monstrous task.
Can you seek a second opinion? Find a surgeon who specializes in larger scale obesity? Did he offer you assistance in losing that weight? Did he give you a plan?

Meh. I'm not religious but I'm not offended by prayers. I appreciate the intention behind the words so I leave it at that.

Oh my goodness this thread is way out of hand ... They were assholes Lmbo... In a moment of weakness I lashed out. Yes it was my decision and no my family does not have to eat what I'm eating either .. But before I decided to have wls we as a family discussed the types of meals that we ALL would be having. We were doing fine pre op they waited until the time that I really needed the support post op to have a fast food bonanza .. I know it sounds crazy but they backed out of the deal and I was pissed. I've eaten alone the last two days and it sucked but I'm over it.

Great post. It's good to focus on the reasons we all had this surgery and not let the scale dictate our successes. It's is hard to not fixate on the numbers.
I try to keep in mind that I am successful because I have met all my pre op goals. I am fit, healthy, and live a much more adventurous active lifestyle. Yes, I set my goal weight to 140 and right now my body seems to be really happy at 152. Even if I never lose those last pounds, I have succeeded. Like you, I plan and count my food intake, but also don't freak out if I have an occasional treat. I even baked homemade sugar Cookies last night just for myself!! I ate what I wanted and sent the rest with my husband to work.
You have inspired me to write down new goals. Mine will all be fitness based. I love feeling my body get stronger and tough. I will continue to weigh to stay on track, but those last twelve pounds can either stay or go I will not give them the power to determine my happiness!!

Great Topic @@LipstickLady!
My goals are to have a AIC that is in the normal range ( I am almost there - started at 6.9 and currently I am at 6.0), I would be happy with any weight between 150 - 170, would like to wear single digit sizes and have the ability to shop in any store that I choose. When I graduated high school, I weighed 170 lbs and wore a size 8.
170 is overweight per my BMI chart. If I used the BMI chart my goal weight would be around 145. Seems nearly impossible even with WLS.
I have decided to give myself 25 lbs goals at a time and not look at the entire 160 lbs I need to lose.

We all have our own reasons for having weight loss surgery. For some of us, it's so that we can stop the progress of diabetes, heart disease and other obesity related illnesses. For others, it's because we are starting to feel pain in our knees, our backs, our feet. And of course, many of us want to look great in skinny jeans, in a bathing suit, a summer dress. (There is NO SHAME in the vanity aspect of WLS, who doesn't love an admiring glance, a great compliment, a quick head turn?)
Personally, I had WLS for all of the reasons above. Not only did I want to extend my life span, but I wanted to improve the quality of my life for myself and my family and I wanted to look and feel great for these prime years of my life. I really had no way of picking out a weight goal as I had been obese for decades and after two children and a few dozen years, I had no idea what 160, 150, 140 would look like any more. I chose to make my goal very Fluid, one of those "I'll know it when I get there" ideas, more focused on pants size than an actual weight.

The day of surgery, I did pick the number 159, which is still "overweight" according to the BMI scale, but that was a number that seemed so lofty and it was a number my doctor was thrilled with. When I hit that goal 9 or so months later, I decided that I'd really like to see 149 (WHAT!?!? UNDER 150!?!?!?!), a number that still alludes me to this day.
I often get messages from people asking me if I am unhappy that I've not reached that number and the answer is HELL NO. What I really imagined for myself was to be in pant sizes that were in the single digits, to be able to do a 5k with my kids, to eliminate all traces of pre-diabetes, to be able to shop in any store I chose. I've done all that and I've maintained it now for over a year. No only that, but I've maintained it without a whole lot of concerted effort -- something that amazes me every day.
I KNOW I could hit 149 -- my stretch goal -- if I worked at it. In fact, I think I could hit 139 and one day I might feel the need to, but I doubt it. I did not have WLS to live the rest of my life fully focused on every morsel that enters my mouth, counting, weighing, measuring obsessively. I still track, I still plan, I still log and measure much of the time, but I choose not to center every meal around my food log like I used to.
Why am I even bringing this up? Because I see some people here and elsewhere who I am scared for. I see a few members who are dipping dangerously close to the underweight end of the BMI scale. I see some people on other boards who are beating themselves up because their size 2s are tight. These people are oozing panic and anxiety over every gram of carb eaten and over every ounce of movement on the scale. Clearly they have traded one eating disorder for another and I fear for them. I also see people on the other end of the spectrum who think that because they've had this surgery, they are free to eat whatever they desire because their restriction will keep them in check and they are shocked when 6 months later they are up 30, 40, 50 pounds.

If you are just starting this journey or are midway through your weight loss, I'd love for you to write down your goals -- what's really important to you about this whole process. Revisit those thoughts as you get close to goal and write down what you feel really good about and where you feel you might be struggling. Use those thoughts to guide you when you feel your thoughts are going haywire and you might need a reality check. And seriously, do NOT listen to your friends, neighbors, family when they tell you that you are too fat, too thin (at 200 pounds, you are NOT too thin), need to lose more, gain some back, etc. Go to your doctor for that.

Keep your perspective in check. This whole process is a real mind fruck ( ) if you allow it to be.

I swore off shopping during my pre-op. I was losing weight pretty quickly (down almost 50 lbs in 3 months) and knew it would just be a waste of money to buy any new clothes. So when the Lilly Pulitzer for Target collection launched, I didn't even wanna look at it because I knew I would shop. Well...that turned out not to even be an issue because before I even woke up that morning, the Target website had crashed and most stores looked like a tornado had come through and picked up all of the Lilly items. So I moved on with my life LOL
I went to Target today for cleaning supplies, face wash, and a trash can. That was all. Of course, I had a Cartwheel for 15% off one of their brands of women's apparel, so I thought whats the harm in taking a look? Maybe I'll find a nice maxi dress to transition around in. I walk by the women's section and see a very familiar print of white and green. Could it be? No...there's no way...is that...that's a piece of Lilly Pulitzer for Target. I'd recognize that cheery print anywhere. It's a jumpsuit I had coveted when sneak peeks of the line started showing up online. I picked it up and found no flaws or marks or tears in it...how could this possibly be here?! I check the tag and it's a standard XL. Well, I usually need an XXL at Target, and that's not always a good fit. I usually have to go to their plus section and I almost never find anything. This item is not stretchy. And it has a zipper. At this moment, I am terrified. Me and zippers don't have a pleasant history.
I take it to the fitting room, hang it up and examine it again. If it doesn't fit AND has a tear, then i'll feel better because I don't want a torn item anyway. There's not a single mark or tear. Suck it up Ashlee. Try it on. I put one leg in...I put the other leg in...I pull it up and it actually passes my hips. I take a deep breath (actually I sucked it in is what I did LOL) and pull it up the rest of the way. So far so good. But does it zip?? I reach behind me the best I can and pull up that tiny white zipper. And it stops. OMG. I KNEW IT. IT DOESN'T FIT. I turn around to see where i've stopped and lo and behold...i've zipped it all the way up. This thing fits. And not only does it fit, it fits damn good! It's a wee bit snug at my chest, which tells me I've got a little room to make so I can wear this thing out properly. Even though I've sworn off shopping, I absolutely cannot walk away without this item.
According to the girl working the fitting room, a woman had returned the item last night and since they no longer have any of the collection in stock, there's no where to properly hang it. So it was mixed in with "similar" colored items. I wasn't even gonna go to this particular Target today, but I didn't feel like going to my usual Target closer to home. So if I had to analyze it, I'd say that the good lord above compelled that woman to return that jumpsuit and then led me to that store on purpose so that I could find it and realize that I have shrunk my way down to standard sizes!
In the words of Ice Cube...today was a good day.
PS if you read that whole story, you're my hero. Sometimes I feel like storytelling.

I don't post very much, but I have to comment on this. Your parents relationship with food is not your relationship with food. As everyone has said, we have to take responsibility for our own behavior. No one is forcing you to do something you don't want to do. Additionally, although your mother may be saying things that are hurtful to you, you do seem a little jealous of her success.
Finally, as someone else said, your use of the word "gross" to being a siZe 16 is inappropriate. We are people of all sizes on this board. Using the word gross for ANY size can be insulting.
I wish you the best of luck working through everything.

I think you are old enough to own your actions and your reactions. Stop blaming mom and take control of your own life. If her comments are hurtful, either tell her so or stay away from her.
You're a grown woman. Go live your life.

And a size 16 is hardly "gross".

I'll spare you a ton of the details since this is your post, but my family/parents were not the best role models when it came to healthy eating either. And sometimes, when I'm having a pity-party type of day, I will bring blame back on them for passing along some of those habits. But, now I'm an adult and I know what needs to be done, and all blame falls back on my shoulders for getting myself to where I am today.
Talk to your mom. Air everything out. And maybe, now that she's post-surgery and more health-conscious too, you'll have someone who understands everything you're going through and can help you in your journey as well. And if she can't be supportive, find someone else you can rely on.
And one final note, be aware of where you're posting. I haven't seen size 16 in many years, and when I get there I'm going to feel elated, wonderful, and successful; not "gross."

Last week I got a call to see if I could move my surgery up a week. So 8:30 tomorrow morning (Pacific time) I'll be admitted to the hospital. All packed and ready to go. I'll update when I am on the other side!

"Wow! It's hard to imagine that you don't know how rude you are."
"I'd hate to think you thought that was a compliment."
"You really didn't think that comment through before you said it out loud, did you?"
Follow any of those up with a patronizing "bless your heart" smile snd walk away. Or tell her to suck your ass, your choice.

What the heck is wrong with people! I am so sorry she said that to you. Clearly she is ignorant.
I am not so sure she is a "real" friend.
You just keep moving forward, you know what needs to be done and leave those rude people in the dust.

My ex-roommate and "friend" says the following to me yesterday. "Don't get me wrong, you're pretty, but you'd be much prettier if you'd lose weight."
Out of NOWHERE!
0_o
The fact that she is about 4'11 and weighs 115 pounds made it sting even more! WHY do people feel the need to say hateful "compliments". I did not ask for her opinion. It was just straight out rude. Maybe I'm just sensitive, but I would never say something like that to someone. I understand being concerned for someone's health, even then it's rude to just bring it on yourself to speak on someone else's health, But for her to say that based strictly on how much better I would look really pissed me off.
RUDE.

I'm 2 days post op. My surgery went well...each day is getting better....I'm still having gas pains and nausea but it's not that bad...good luck ladies????