My ex-roommate and "friend" says the following to me yesterday. "Don't get me wrong, you're pretty, but you'd be much prettier if you'd lose weight."

Out of NOWHERE!

0_o

The fact that she is about 4'11 and weighs 115 pounds made it sting even more! WHY do people feel the need to say hateful "compliments". I did not ask for her opinion. It was just straight out rude. Maybe I'm just sensitive, but I would never say something like that to someone. I understand being concerned for someone's health, even then it's rude to just bring it on yourself to speak on someone else's health, But for her to say that based strictly on how much better I would look really pissed me off.

RUDE.

What the heck is wrong with people! I am so sorry she said that to you. Clearly she is ignorant.

I am not so sure she is a "real" friend.

You just keep moving forward, you know what needs to be done and leave those rude people in the dust.

I've been getting the same type of comments.

I had to stop and pause for a second because the first thing I wanted to do is say something rude.

I also get comments like " u will find a man now".

I've never had any issues in that department.

Hell I know skinny women who are with a@&holes and I know big women who have great men.

Don't sweat it much, I know it's hard but sometimes people just speak before they think.

I've been getting the same type of comments.

I had to stop and pause for a second because the first thing I wanted to do is say something rude.

I also get comments like " u will find a man now".

I've never had any issues in that department.

Hell I know skinny women who are with a@&holes and I know big women who have great men.

Don't sweat it much, I know it's hard but sometimes people just speak before they think.

Let her know that remarks like that hurt you. She may have meant it differently in her brain as a way to pay you a compliment and offer you some helpful advice, but somehow she ground the gears when it came out of her mouth.

There is no way to put something like this properly in words. She should have just left it short and sweet as "You're pretty".

Wow. Some "friend." It never ceases to amaze me how weight is villified. How about telling her you were thinking the same thing, only if she grew another 6 inches she might be prettier. Sorry, I know that is not turning the other cheek but that's just plain rude of her. I'd dump her. You don't need friends like that.

As my confidence goes up, I am more able to recognize and remove toxic people from my life. Nobody needs that kind of friend.

Yikes! My sister works in an ER and a patient once told her the same thing (sad part is, she isn't even overweight!) and I though that was terrible enough coming from a stranger. But coming from someone who is supposed to be your friend?!?! Really?

Srry my phone has a mind of its own today.

Response: "And people would think you're a lot smarter if you would keep your opinions to yourself" Be on the alert for back-handed compliments like that. Bariatric surgery will expose the dynamics of your relationships as people are threatened or rejoicing over your progress. That is not a bad thing. It is good to know who is really in your corner.

"Wow! It's hard to imagine that you don't know how rude you are."

"I'd hate to think you thought that was a compliment."

"You really didn't think that comment through before you said it out loud, did you?"

Follow any of those up with a patronizing "bless your heart" smile snd walk away. Or tell her to suck your ass, your choice.

My mother used to say with some frequency, "If you only lost weight, the boys would be lined up around the block to date you; you have such a pretty face." Honestly, it didn't bother me because I knew her heart was in the right place.

When did it stop you ask? When my sister, who was thin and never had a date said, "What about me? I'm thin! Are you trying to say I'm ugly because I don't have any dates?!" My poor mother hemmed and hawed and tried to back out gracefully. I don't recall her every saying that again!

PS: All of this happened a long time ago. My sister and I did eventually date and marry and raise families of our own!

I've always wondered, what would the world pick on if we were all BLIND? "Your voice sounds funny", "You smell weird", ""Your hair isn't soft enough".........Things will always be there for people to pick on, there are even people who pick on someone because they are NICE or KIND. I have never thought of niceness or kindness as a WEAKNESS, quite the contrary, but some do. And they find a reason to judge that, too.

We all have flaws, even those "beautiful" models out there. Is anyone of us "better" than the other? No, but some BEHAVE better, and THAT is what should be evaluated (notice the lack of the useage of the word JUDGE), and nothing else. Not the size of your nose, the color of your skin, the AWESOME jiggle of the backside, or any other physical feature. When LOOKS are judged, you wonder if the inner person was ever even noticed, let alone appreciated. What a loss.

I couldn't agree more!

I've always wondered, what would the world pick on if we were all BLIND? "Your voice sounds funny", "You smell weird", ""Your hair isn't soft enough".........Things will always be there for people to pick on, there are even people who pick on someone because they are NICE or KIND. I have never thought of niceness or kindness as a WEAKNESS, quite the contrary, but some do. And they find a reason to judge that, too.

We all have flaws, even those "beautiful" models out there. Is anyone of us "better" than the other? No, but some BEHAVE better, and THAT is what should be evaluated (notice the lack of the useage of the word JUDGE), and nothing else. Not the size of your nose, the color of your skin, the AWESOME jiggle of the backside, or any other physical feature. When LOOKS are judged, you wonder if the inner person was ever even noticed, let alone appreciated. What a loss.

You should of shot back " And you'd be alot smarter if you shut your mouth......." kind of like what MissMac said above . For the life of me I can't wrap my head around people who just feel they are free to speak their mind !!! No filter !!! No tact or diplomacy ?? Drives. Me. Crazy. That is all.

You should of shot back " And you'd be alot smarter if you shut your mouth......." kind of like what MissMac said above . For the life of me I can't wrap my head around people who just feel they are free to speak their mind !!! No filter !!! No tact or diplomacy ?? Drives. Me. Crazy. That is all.

LOL @ Lipstick Lady

I liked the last choice LOL