jane13

VSGMary, the original post has been removed by OP. It contained multiple paragraphs detailing her grievances. Like many of us who have posted while in the throes of emotional pain, she may have later decided to seek redress in a more private way.
I wish her success finding the joyful, loving and healthy life she deserves.

Wow. I'm sorry you're going through this. I don't really have any suggestions, other than to say that you don't deserve to be treated that way. Your husband sounds like an asshole.
Based on your description, you're not financially dependent on the guy and don't have kids of your own with him. You should treat yourself to a nice, relaxing vacation with the time off you have left. Maybe spending time alone will make him realize that you're not his mother/housekeeper and he doesn't get to act like a jerk because he's miserable.
Sorry if I'm being overly harsh. As a woman who is the primary earner in my household, with a fantastic and incredibly supportive husband, I just have no patience for man children who take their insecurities out on the women who love them. In any case, I wish you the best.

That's not petty. It's called a one-sided relationship. What's in it for you? Sounds to me like everything is to his advantage. Years ago, when I showed up at the doctor;s office with an ex hubby- inflicted bruise (the size of a seven ounce steak) on my arm, the doctor asked me, "Why are you still there?" So even if that is not the nature of your displeasure, it is still a question worth asking yourself. You apparently have the advantage of being able to support yourself, so just be honest with yourself. Would you be better off with him or without him?
There is no point in staying just to be a baby sitter for his ex-wife. If the marriage is worth counseling, then go see a counselor. If he doesn't want to go, that further proves your point and shows you where he stands on the effort he is willing to put into the marriage. LIfe is too short to stay with a jerk.
Bariatric surgery has a way of exposing the raw dynamics of a relationship. He has shown you that he has no sympathy for you and still expects you to be his waitress and mother. Make you a list of pros and cons, and then will know what to do. There is no point in perpetuating a mistake. Your surgery is giving you a new lease on life and you deserve to enjoy it.

Thanks! You look great, too!

what did your nutritionist say?

that's tough and you will have other hurdles. my surgery is Wednesday and I have thought about things like my grandsons birthday parties.....

that's tough and you will have other hurdles. my surgery is Wednesday and I have thought about things like my grandsons birthday parties.....

you know my wife has lost about 35 pounds along side me losing mine. and she said the other day , its so hard to stop shopping for workout clothes. and this from a couple ( me and the wife) who used to make fun of people dressdin yoga pant or workout clothes all the time. Now we do it. I guess maybe it was a defense mechanism. anyway. well that and weighing myself, its become more than a habit with me, and i cannot stop. lol

What the heck is wrong with people! I am so sorry she said that to you. Clearly she is ignorant.
I am not so sure she is a "real" friend.
You just keep moving forward, you know what needs to be done and leave those rude people in the dust.

My ex-roommate and "friend" says the following to me yesterday. "Don't get me wrong, you're pretty, but you'd be much prettier if you'd lose weight."
Out of NOWHERE!
0_o
The fact that she is about 4'11 and weighs 115 pounds made it sting even more! WHY do people feel the need to say hateful "compliments". I did not ask for her opinion. It was just straight out rude. Maybe I'm just sensitive, but I would never say something like that to someone. I understand being concerned for someone's health, even then it's rude to just bring it on yourself to speak on someone else's health, But for her to say that based strictly on how much better I would look really pissed me off.
RUDE.

I am going in Wednesday the 6th - hoping to be able to post the same thing - feeling great & minimal pain

I haven't been on the site because of access issues but my surgery is Wednesday and I feel excited to be able to do thing Lipstick talked about and that outweighs my fear of the surgery ;D

those are all NSVs!
sweet!!!!

I haven't been on the site because of access issues but my surgery is Wednesday and I feel excited to be able to do thing Lipstick talked about and that outweighs my fear of the surgery ;D

The first 2 to 3 wks I regretted have the surgery. Nause, weak,and everything "volcanoed" up my throat. ..I hade my 6 wk check up yesterday. ..lost 32.1. ..energy. ..food going down good just have to stop when I first start to fill full. Glad now I had the sleeve!!

I feel awesome. Did 4 laps, eating ice and 0 pain. Excellent doctor.

Best of luck and prayers for a speedy recovery

Good luck and pray you have a quick recovery. ????????

They will give you a nice nap and then you will wake up with a new lease on life. The temporary inconveniece and discomfort will be well worth it. I wish you good luck and good health.

Best of luck and praying everything goes well.

Well, getting ready to leave. I love how things just seem to work out. God's got this. Jer.29:11. Good luck to everyone on the new you side.

My new normal is amazing.

@@LipstickLady You look amazing!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you @@Davina's and @@LipstickLady for your answers. I know my mind frame will change at some point. You look amazing and the best part is that you feel amazing. I'm still getting adjusted to the idea, building my support group is essential for that.

Your definition of normal will totally change.

I don't know your fat stats, but I can tell you mine. My new normal is fitting into size 8 jeans instead of size 20. My new normal is my two teen daughters searching through my closet for a top instead of telling me that I need to wear something other than black. My new normal is eating in public without feeling like everyone is looking at the fat lady gorging. My new normal is putting a few treats in my grocery cart without feeling self conscious about it. My new normal is being the thin, fit mom at events instead of the fattest lady in the room. My new normal is being able to squeeze down crowded aisles, fit in theater seats, fly comfortably, cross my legs, tie my shoes, paint my toenails, complete a mud run, climb a lighthouse, ride a horse, fasten the safety belt of a roller coaster...

Yes, I can eat a bit of dessert if I choose to, but that's so not important to my new normal.