OKCPirate

@@WLSResources/ClothingExch - You brought up a valid point, which I was not focused on. And that is the value of honest discussion.

I didn't know the PM's were visible, though I should have thought so. I hope those do stay deleted. Some were very personal (hence they were "private") and some downright salacious. I have one out to Dub, and I'll delete that tomorrow and stick to using PM to see if someone wants to exchange email addresses to carry on private conversations.

Alex,
I am a big believer in private property, and you invested time/money/talent creating a working site such as this, I do considerate "private property" not public domain. So, I do respect your right to make editorial decisions.
That said phrases like "safe spaces" in the current political/cultural environment are now "trigger" words to me. (Ironic I'm using that verbiage). It does leave a very bad taste in my mouth.
One of the most endearing parts of this online community was the frank adult discussion on a wide variety of topics. That's probably what has brought me back here more often than I really should. As a whole, I have found the conversations to be of higher than average quality. It is always interesting getting the perspective of people worldwide, as well as those from NYC and major metropolitan areas and the handful of us in flyover country.
I have always had two reasons for actively taking part in this community...first was to try and give back and help others because I sure needed it early on. Second was the wealth of knowledge I would not have ever found on my own because I would not have known what to Google.
I'll keep an eye open, to see if this place is still worth my time. Frankly, I have enjoyed the tough love comments and while I am not looking for drama, I've never seen anything excessive. There are plenty of other boards which I have been part of that have more than their share of trolls, but this one has not been one to my way of thinking.
Since I am not privy to the PM's I have no idea of what is so bothersome, but I really have enjoyed the contributions of those who have been banned and that is why I am publically offering a sincere wish you would reconsider. But as I said this is your project and investment.

I didn't know the PM's were visible, though I should have thought so. I hope those do stay deleted. Some were very personal (hence they were "private") and some downright salacious. I have one out to Dub, and I'll delete that tomorrow and stick to using PM to see if someone wants to exchange email addresses to carry on private conversations.

Alex,
I am a big believer in private property, and you invested time/money/talent creating a working site such as this, I do considerate "private property" not public domain. So, I do respect your right to make editorial decisions.
That said phrases like "safe spaces" in the current political/cultural environment are now "trigger" words to me. (Ironic I'm using that verbiage). It does leave a very bad taste in my mouth.
One of the most endearing parts of this online community was the frank adult discussion on a wide variety of topics. That's probably what has brought me back here more often than I really should. As a whole, I have found the conversations to be of higher than average quality. It is always interesting getting the perspective of people worldwide, as well as those from NYC and major metropolitan areas and the handful of us in flyover country.
I have always had two reasons for actively taking part in this community...first was to try and give back and help others because I sure needed it early on. Second was the wealth of knowledge I would not have ever found on my own because I would not have known what to Google.
I'll keep an eye open, to see if this place is still worth my time. Frankly, I have enjoyed the tough love comments and while I am not looking for drama, I've never seen anything excessive. There are plenty of other boards which I have been part of that have more than their share of trolls, but this one has not been one to my way of thinking.
Since I am not privy to the PM's I have no idea of what is so bothersome, but I really have enjoyed the contributions of those who have been banned and that is why I am publically offering a sincere wish you would reconsider. But as I said this is your project and investment.

Alex,
I am a big believer in private property, and you invested time/money/talent creating a working site such as this, I do considerate "private property" not public domain. So, I do respect your right to make editorial decisions.
That said phrases like "safe spaces" in the current political/cultural environment are now "trigger" words to me. (Ironic I'm using that verbiage). It does leave a very bad taste in my mouth.
One of the most endearing parts of this online community was the frank adult discussion on a wide variety of topics. That's probably what has brought me back here more often than I really should. As a whole, I have found the conversations to be of higher than average quality. It is always interesting getting the perspective of people worldwide, as well as those from NYC and major metropolitan areas and the handful of us in flyover country.
I have always had two reasons for actively taking part in this community...first was to try and give back and help others because I sure needed it early on. Second was the wealth of knowledge I would not have ever found on my own because I would not have known what to Google.
I'll keep an eye open, to see if this place is still worth my time. Frankly, I have enjoyed the tough love comments and while I am not looking for drama, I've never seen anything excessive. There are plenty of other boards which I have been part of that have more than their share of trolls, but this one has not been one to my way of thinking.
Since I am not privy to the PM's I have no idea of what is so bothersome, but I really have enjoyed the contributions of those who have been banned and that is why I am publically offering a sincere wish you would reconsider. But as I said this is your project and investment.

Alex,
I am a big believer in private property, and you invested time/money/talent creating a working site such as this, I do considerate "private property" not public domain. So, I do respect your right to make editorial decisions.
That said phrases like "safe spaces" in the current political/cultural environment are now "trigger" words to me. (Ironic I'm using that verbiage). It does leave a very bad taste in my mouth.
One of the most endearing parts of this online community was the frank adult discussion on a wide variety of topics. That's probably what has brought me back here more often than I really should. As a whole, I have found the conversations to be of higher than average quality. It is always interesting getting the perspective of people worldwide, as well as those from NYC and major metropolitan areas and the handful of us in flyover country.
I have always had two reasons for actively taking part in this community...first was to try and give back and help others because I sure needed it early on. Second was the wealth of knowledge I would not have ever found on my own because I would not have known what to Google.
I'll keep an eye open, to see if this place is still worth my time. Frankly, I have enjoyed the tough love comments and while I am not looking for drama, I've never seen anything excessive. There are plenty of other boards which I have been part of that have more than their share of trolls, but this one has not been one to my way of thinking.
Since I am not privy to the PM's I have no idea of what is so bothersome, but I really have enjoyed the contributions of those who have been banned and that is why I am publically offering a sincere wish you would reconsider. But as I said this is your project and investment.

Alex,
I am a big believer in private property, and you invested time/money/talent creating a working site such as this, I do considerate "private property" not public domain. So, I do respect your right to make editorial decisions.
That said phrases like "safe spaces" in the current political/cultural environment are now "trigger" words to me. (Ironic I'm using that verbiage). It does leave a very bad taste in my mouth.
One of the most endearing parts of this online community was the frank adult discussion on a wide variety of topics. That's probably what has brought me back here more often than I really should. As a whole, I have found the conversations to be of higher than average quality. It is always interesting getting the perspective of people worldwide, as well as those from NYC and major metropolitan areas and the handful of us in flyover country.
I have always had two reasons for actively taking part in this community...first was to try and give back and help others because I sure needed it early on. Second was the wealth of knowledge I would not have ever found on my own because I would not have known what to Google.
I'll keep an eye open, to see if this place is still worth my time. Frankly, I have enjoyed the tough love comments and while I am not looking for drama, I've never seen anything excessive. There are plenty of other boards which I have been part of that have more than their share of trolls, but this one has not been one to my way of thinking.
Since I am not privy to the PM's I have no idea of what is so bothersome, but I really have enjoyed the contributions of those who have been banned and that is why I am publically offering a sincere wish you would reconsider. But as I said this is your project and investment.

I didn't know the PM's were visible, though I should have thought so. I hope those do stay deleted. Some were very personal (hence they were "private") and some downright salacious. I have one out to Dub, and I'll delete that tomorrow and stick to using PM to see if someone wants to exchange email addresses to carry on private conversations.

Alex,
I am a big believer in private property, and you invested time/money/talent creating a working site such as this, I do considerate "private property" not public domain. So, I do respect your right to make editorial decisions.
That said phrases like "safe spaces" in the current political/cultural environment are now "trigger" words to me. (Ironic I'm using that verbiage). It does leave a very bad taste in my mouth.
One of the most endearing parts of this online community was the frank adult discussion on a wide variety of topics. That's probably what has brought me back here more often than I really should. As a whole, I have found the conversations to be of higher than average quality. It is always interesting getting the perspective of people worldwide, as well as those from NYC and major metropolitan areas and the handful of us in flyover country.
I have always had two reasons for actively taking part in this community...first was to try and give back and help others because I sure needed it early on. Second was the wealth of knowledge I would not have ever found on my own because I would not have known what to Google.
I'll keep an eye open, to see if this place is still worth my time. Frankly, I have enjoyed the tough love comments and while I am not looking for drama, I've never seen anything excessive. There are plenty of other boards which I have been part of that have more than their share of trolls, but this one has not been one to my way of thinking.
Since I am not privy to the PM's I have no idea of what is so bothersome, but I really have enjoyed the contributions of those who have been banned and that is why I am publically offering a sincere wish you would reconsider. But as I said this is your project and investment.

I didn't know the PM's were visible, though I should have thought so. I hope those do stay deleted. Some were very personal (hence they were "private") and some downright salacious. I have one out to Dub, and I'll delete that tomorrow and stick to using PM to see if someone wants to exchange email addresses to carry on private conversations.

Alex,
I am a big believer in private property, and you invested time/money/talent creating a working site such as this, I do considerate "private property" not public domain. So, I do respect your right to make editorial decisions.
That said phrases like "safe spaces" in the current political/cultural environment are now "trigger" words to me. (Ironic I'm using that verbiage). It does leave a very bad taste in my mouth.
One of the most endearing parts of this online community was the frank adult discussion on a wide variety of topics. That's probably what has brought me back here more often than I really should. As a whole, I have found the conversations to be of higher than average quality. It is always interesting getting the perspective of people worldwide, as well as those from NYC and major metropolitan areas and the handful of us in flyover country.
I have always had two reasons for actively taking part in this community...first was to try and give back and help others because I sure needed it early on. Second was the wealth of knowledge I would not have ever found on my own because I would not have known what to Google.
I'll keep an eye open, to see if this place is still worth my time. Frankly, I have enjoyed the tough love comments and while I am not looking for drama, I've never seen anything excessive. There are plenty of other boards which I have been part of that have more than their share of trolls, but this one has not been one to my way of thinking.
Since I am not privy to the PM's I have no idea of what is so bothersome, but I really have enjoyed the contributions of those who have been banned and that is why I am publically offering a sincere wish you would reconsider. But as I said this is your project and investment.

I haven't been on this site in about six months. But after this latest idiocy, I'm finally ready to delete my account.
Yes, Alec, as the owner and operator of this message board you can do anything you want to do with this board.
However, your posts in this thread mischaracterize the ways in which this board's culture and the value it offers WLS patients have declined for some time.
But the blockbuster is your admission (long suspected by me) that you read BP members' private messages. IMO reading members' private messages is a significant ethical violation by any message board operator. Those who choose to remain here need to understand that clearly.
These days there are so many other social media options for support of WLS patients. I urge those leaving BP to explore them all.
I expect that my and some others' opinions will soon vanish when Alex heavily edits or deletes this thread, just as he has deleted other comments and BP threads where members have expressed their opinions about BP's culture and operational policies. But I've bothered to type them anyway.
In closing, I would like to thank the many WLS patients here who contributed to my WLS success (I've lost 100 pounds and have maintained my weight loss for longer than a year). I also thank those who invited my input and who appreciated the help I offered. Help is a two-way street.

Alex,
I am a big believer in private property, and you invested time/money/talent creating a working site such as this, I do considerate "private property" not public domain. So, I do respect your right to make editorial decisions.
That said phrases like "safe spaces" in the current political/cultural environment are now "trigger" words to me. (Ironic I'm using that verbiage). It does leave a very bad taste in my mouth.
One of the most endearing parts of this online community was the frank adult discussion on a wide variety of topics. That's probably what has brought me back here more often than I really should. As a whole, I have found the conversations to be of higher than average quality. It is always interesting getting the perspective of people worldwide, as well as those from NYC and major metropolitan areas and the handful of us in flyover country.
I have always had two reasons for actively taking part in this community...first was to try and give back and help others because I sure needed it early on. Second was the wealth of knowledge I would not have ever found on my own because I would not have known what to Google.
I'll keep an eye open, to see if this place is still worth my time. Frankly, I have enjoyed the tough love comments and while I am not looking for drama, I've never seen anything excessive. There are plenty of other boards which I have been part of that have more than their share of trolls, but this one has not been one to my way of thinking.
Since I am not privy to the PM's I have no idea of what is so bothersome, but I really have enjoyed the contributions of those who have been banned and that is why I am publically offering a sincere wish you would reconsider. But as I said this is your project and investment.

Alex,
I am a big believer in private property, and you invested time/money/talent creating a working site such as this, I do considerate "private property" not public domain. So, I do respect your right to make editorial decisions.
That said phrases like "safe spaces" in the current political/cultural environment are now "trigger" words to me. (Ironic I'm using that verbiage). It does leave a very bad taste in my mouth.
One of the most endearing parts of this online community was the frank adult discussion on a wide variety of topics. That's probably what has brought me back here more often than I really should. As a whole, I have found the conversations to be of higher than average quality. It is always interesting getting the perspective of people worldwide, as well as those from NYC and major metropolitan areas and the handful of us in flyover country.
I have always had two reasons for actively taking part in this community...first was to try and give back and help others because I sure needed it early on. Second was the wealth of knowledge I would not have ever found on my own because I would not have known what to Google.
I'll keep an eye open, to see if this place is still worth my time. Frankly, I have enjoyed the tough love comments and while I am not looking for drama, I've never seen anything excessive. There are plenty of other boards which I have been part of that have more than their share of trolls, but this one has not been one to my way of thinking.
Since I am not privy to the PM's I have no idea of what is so bothersome, but I really have enjoyed the contributions of those who have been banned and that is why I am publically offering a sincere wish you would reconsider. But as I said this is your project and investment.

Alex,
I am a big believer in private property, and you invested time/money/talent creating a working site such as this, I do considerate "private property" not public domain. So, I do respect your right to make editorial decisions.
That said phrases like "safe spaces" in the current political/cultural environment are now "trigger" words to me. (Ironic I'm using that verbiage). It does leave a very bad taste in my mouth.
One of the most endearing parts of this online community was the frank adult discussion on a wide variety of topics. That's probably what has brought me back here more often than I really should. As a whole, I have found the conversations to be of higher than average quality. It is always interesting getting the perspective of people worldwide, as well as those from NYC and major metropolitan areas and the handful of us in flyover country.
I have always had two reasons for actively taking part in this community...first was to try and give back and help others because I sure needed it early on. Second was the wealth of knowledge I would not have ever found on my own because I would not have known what to Google.
I'll keep an eye open, to see if this place is still worth my time. Frankly, I have enjoyed the tough love comments and while I am not looking for drama, I've never seen anything excessive. There are plenty of other boards which I have been part of that have more than their share of trolls, but this one has not been one to my way of thinking.
Since I am not privy to the PM's I have no idea of what is so bothersome, but I really have enjoyed the contributions of those who have been banned and that is why I am publically offering a sincere wish you would reconsider. But as I said this is your project and investment.

My mom is dead set on trying to keep me from having this surgery and I am dead set on doing it. She knows a woman at her work who knows someone that died from the surgery. I suspect she is asking the same person everyday at her work and just keeps telling me the same story everytime. I'm going to my one support group requirement tonight and after that I have a nutrition class on the 20th of Jan and only two classes left after January. All nay sayers aside, I can't wait. I have noticed that since I started eating more Protein anything sweet I eat makes me nauseous.

Alex,
I am a big believer in private property, and you invested time/money/talent creating a working site such as this, I do considerate "private property" not public domain. So, I do respect your right to make editorial decisions.
That said phrases like "safe spaces" in the current political/cultural environment are now "trigger" words to me. (Ironic I'm using that verbiage). It does leave a very bad taste in my mouth.
One of the most endearing parts of this online community was the frank adult discussion on a wide variety of topics. That's probably what has brought me back here more often than I really should. As a whole, I have found the conversations to be of higher than average quality. It is always interesting getting the perspective of people worldwide, as well as those from NYC and major metropolitan areas and the handful of us in flyover country.
I have always had two reasons for actively taking part in this community...first was to try and give back and help others because I sure needed it early on. Second was the wealth of knowledge I would not have ever found on my own because I would not have known what to Google.
I'll keep an eye open, to see if this place is still worth my time. Frankly, I have enjoyed the tough love comments and while I am not looking for drama, I've never seen anything excessive. There are plenty of other boards which I have been part of that have more than their share of trolls, but this one has not been one to my way of thinking.
Since I am not privy to the PM's I have no idea of what is so bothersome, but I really have enjoyed the contributions of those who have been banned and that is why I am publically offering a sincere wish you would reconsider. But as I said this is your project and investment.

Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood was fiction. The idea for BP was excellent. That it's grown and is still operating is excellent and surprising; many home-grown sites last a while and disappear long before the 13-year mark. The rub is the naivete or disingenuousness -- I don't know which and prefer not to speculate -- that speaks of any place where everyone will feel safe. The world doesn't work that way least of all because there will always be those who will feel safe only if they crawl back into the womb.
I do not doubt that newcomers and the seasoned have expressed dismay. The truth, nevertheless, is that "you can't please all of the people all of the time." If it were possible, the phrase would not be enclosed by quotation marks. Unsubstantiated second- and third-hand reports from ASMBS members or other non-participants have no place in the discussion.
Have you really received reports of conspiracies conjured in private? I think it's likely because anyone can sign up for BP, including those with middle-school mentalities. How many take part in such cartels?
You wrote twice (one fell out of the quotation here) that a "tiny minority" of members have menaced more tender members and once that most members are supportive, sweet, helpful -- good scouts, shall we say. That's a most impressive record. It seems that there's nothing to complain about. You've described a website that mirrors the larger world. Not bad at all.

@@WLSResources/ClothingExch - that's fair, Red-Neck-Right and Social Justice Warriors are two sides of the same coin. They are both highly anti-intellectual and spout someone else's bumper sticker pablum.

@@Aggiemae Interesting. I am about as conservative as one can get in some ways, and a classic liberal in others. I describe myself as a conservative libertarian. I have a number of friends from across the political spectrum. The same goes for religious and social spectrums. The main requirement is that they are thinking people. We don't always agree, but we do stay informed, and we are usually pretty good at articuling why we think and believe as we do. I have never come across conservatives who did not know the ACA was Obamacare, in my personal associations or otherwise.

I have a couple of republicans and at least one Trump supporter friend on face book. I get links to the stuff they post so I think i stay better informed. For example I read on a right of center feed that 1/3 of conservatives didn't know that the Affordable Care Act (they are for it) and "Obama care" (they are against it) are the same thing. Seriously.

@@Odie - Well they are not as bad as the "social justice warriers" I seem to run into on FB who just can't take a joke. It's like Mr. Hugh Mungus...

You are the new poster child for this procedure. That is a remarkable transformation. Heartfelt congratulations.

I have been having an ongoing discussion with a self-styled Social Justice Warrior type of Facebook. I posted this on my page, but because my page isn't public, I'm afraid I might not get a wide enough perspective. Strangely, the current flap on Bariatric Pal vis-a-vis the banning of a contributor kind of triggered the thoughts. Please feel free to comment:
Should you dump a FB friend who is a bigot?

Before you answer so quick, I'm talking about anti-intellectual left/Social Justice Warrior bigots.

I'm noticing a bad trend where people are embracing their victimhood, which gives them justification for violence and rejection of facts because reality doesn't sync with their feelings.

I don't want to live in an echo chamber world where only one side talks to others of like mind.

There are facts and perspective which can be legitimately different. Honest discussion can expand understanding of all parties. But when one side has an attitude of entitlement because of perceived victimhood, all they have is name calling which results in the dehumanization of their opponent.

The most extream results of this were seen by the Communists, the greatest mass murders of the past century. Anyone who disagreed with the party line was an enemy of the state and needed "re-education" and then sent to forced labor camps, or were just simply killed for having their own thoughts.

This goes back to the original question. By unfriending or just ignoring the idiocy and other passive responses are we hastening the end of real discourse?