OKCPirate

Reree, tomorrow I'll drink a toast, not to your anniversary, but to you and the fact that, despite the grief, you've had the strength to keep it together. It's unfair that your husband gave you no info beyond the vague "not working any more." That you've been as strong as you have for yourself and the kids says something exceptional about you.

Sorry this is not really totally weight loss related but I have no real other outlet for this. Tomorrow is my wedding anniversary, or rather what should be my anniversary. It is a day I should be celebrating with my husband. But that joy and celebration was stolen from me by the person who promised he would never leave. Five months ago on what I thought was a normal Friday I went to work and my husband was taking our two younger kids to spend the day with their older sister. Well after he acted like everything was perfectly normal he came home from dropping off the kids and packed up everything of his from the house, he took half of the little bit of money we had and I got a text that said I'm sorry this isn't working for me anymore, I'm moving out. We had not been fighting, things had been fine or so I thought.
I try really hard to keep a happy face on for the kids but I am still grieving the loss of my marriage so much. When I first had surgery he was very supportive but it seemed as I got smaller he became more and more withdrawn. Things really felt like they shifted when I became smaller then him. He is a husky guy but has never been obese though. Thankfully I have never been really an emotional eater so through all of this I have still continued to lose weight and keep up with my goals but it is so hard.
I guess I don't really have a major point to this thread. I'm not really looking for sympathy or anything, just needed somewhere to vent for a minute. I don't have any real outlet.

10 days from now when you finally poop and you go through your final round of second-guessing yourself, you will start getting excited. BTW, DON'T weigh yourself for a few weeks. You have gained a bunch of IV Water weight. And your body is not going to start letting go of it's fat cells for a little while longer.

Bill this is a learning process for all of us but I feel like I'm going into this surgery with all the knowledge and tools to succeed. My problem has always been quantity of food not quality I hardly ever eat sugary things. I met some great people on this forum. Thanks Sent from my Bat Phone using the BariatricPal App

@@LittleBill


​I always hope people will take the opportunity given with surgery and run with it. I'm sure its hard to see your friend decline in health again.

​Restaurants are used to serving large portions. It's funny when a waiter or waitress cant believe your full on a small amount of food. Some try to push something to drink with your meal.
Attitude is lesson I had to learn in the process of surgery. Making your health and fitness your life style is hard. It can be done. It will be day by day. Its not immediate. Its dedication and consistency working for your goals.
Thanks for posting this Bill.

Bravo for the biggest lesson of all - it's a tool and that's all. Also, I've been told that even though it's not on the menu, they'll serve you Beans and cheese in a cup. Haven't tried it yet because I have access to Taco Bueno which puts Taco Bell to shame. LOL.

You do it when you can do it. I had mine on the one day I could for 18 months. My schedule was just that fixed. Stick to your surgeons plan. The idea isn't so much the weight loss but to shrink your liver. I did it so well my surgeon was done in half of his normal time which made recovery easier.

This really is bariatric related. Today I received a visit from a very good friend of mine. He started out as a student. We became friends about eight years ago, and have been close friends ever since. He had sleeve surgery about four years ago. What is strange though, is that of all the people who knew I was doing this, he has been the least supportive. He practically begged me not to do it. He came to visit immediately after surgery, and fairly shocked me with his imagery of huge sandwiches, sumptuous meals, and high calorie Desserts I would never be able to eat again. I have been learning more about him and about this new lifestyle, and how the two aren't working out so well. We are still friends, and will remain so, but following is a lot of what I learned.
My friend is one of those who is failing, and will continue to fail. I am pretty sure he was coerced into the surgery by his wife, who didn't want to see him dying prematurely of all the things that were going wrong with him. As far as I can tell, he never really bought into the premise of changing his lifestyle along with the surgery. As such, he has not changed it. He had enormous success during the honeymoon period, but has since regained at least 80 lbs of the weight he lost. His blood pressure problems have returned, and if I had to guess, he is going to have blood sugar issues again, if he isn't already.
So he came to visit this morning, and we had a fairly blunt conversation. He was impressed with my progress to date, so I let him know, un no uncertain terms, that it was because I was FOLLOWING THE RULES. He does not eat Protein. When he gets hungry, he will eat a small piece of fruit, or a vending machine snack. He will often eat a Caesar salad for lunch. On his way to visit, had a coffee roll as the sole sum and substance of his Breakfast (along with coffee, which he drank to wash his roll down). When he is not hungry, he will not eat. I offered him several items, including some freshly made chicken salad, which I had for my mid morning snack. It was no go.
It was kind of sad. I discussed some of his culinary choices, and offered him some ideas (he refuses to talk to a nutritionist). Simply put, he has not changed his mindset, and is fairly surprised that I have. But that is the difference between success and failure. While he was here, we were out doing some recon at the local Cabela's. I am about to embark on making my own beef Jerky, so I wanted to peruse the offerings they had in the way of food dehydrators. They didn't really have anything that got me excited. And we really did go to Taco Bell.
We were on the way home, and I knew he had to eat something. Heck, I knew I had to eat something! So I asked him if he liked Taco Bell. I already knew the answer. It was kind of funny though. Even though he is completely off the reservation on content, he is chained to his sleeve for volume. So we go walking in, and up to the counter. I ordered a beef and bean burrito, figuring I would eat the insides and scrap most of the wrap. I also ordered an unsweetened iced tea for later on down the road. My friend said to the guy, "Can I get just one taco?"
The kid taking our order looked at us like we were some sort of weirdos, eating practically nothing. He asked a few times if that was all we wanted. The total for our tab came to $6.43. For two people. I almost burst out laughing at the expression on the kid's face. As we were sitting at our table, slowing eating our pittance, a hugely overweight woman came lumbering by. She could not contain her interest in seeing two big guys eating almost nothing, and doing it very slowly. I almost wanted to get up and tell her why. He munched down his entire crunchy taco. I ate the insides of my burrito, and had a couple of very small bites which included part of the wrap. I tossed the rest of it. My friend was impressed that I did not stuff the whole thing down my neck. And the tea? It was awful. I don't know if my taste for tea has changed, or if it was just this batch or this brand. But I won't be getting any Taco Bell tea ever again, unless I am about as desiccated as a mummy.
As for my friend, he has all the tools he needs. He just needs to change his attitude. I hope he does, now that I am in this thing right along with him. Why am I posting about this? This is for any of you out there who might be tempted to be like my friend. Most of this is in your head. You will win or lose mainly because of your mindset. Your sleeve is a tool, and one of many. If you learn to use your tools well, you will do well. If you think they will do the job for you, and you need not put any effort in, you will be left wondering why others are enjoying success while you linger in the land of the large.

As a male who is single and dated heavy and more normal weight I will tell you it is much easier when you are a healthy size.
Take time to heal, get your mental and physical health back. In a year or so, poke around the relationship pool again. You will go at it with a new confidence. Your "crazy" detector will be better this time. All I can say is "trust me" because I've been there and have several t-shirts to prove it.

I got my surgery 12/20/2016 so far so good. Just some gas pain. And tenderness. Oh and my throat hurts so bad :-(.
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I had surgery in the summer so by the holidays I would be semi healed. I changed my attitude about food and my tastes so I didn't binge or anything last year and I am even less interested this year.
I would never have surgery this time of year. If for no other reason it's too close to the end of the year and taking the change on have to start over on deductibles etc if something goes wrong and surgery is delayed.
Plus your freezing at surgery, being colder in the winter, no thanks.
@@Finding_Stacy yeah a lot of place don't do the liquid diet, for the most part it is useless and all it does is weaken people before surgery by starving them.

You want to lose as much as possible in your first 90 days. Thus, the Protein and not to stress the newly altered stomach.
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I don't have the liquid diet thank goodness. Just low carb. It's hard with the Christmas treats but we can do it. Good luck
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8 days into liquid diet. Just wondering why on earth would we choose this time of year. The challenges were faced with. But I'm still sticking to my liquid diet.
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Hi all. I made my decision back in August, started the process in September and have been confident, prepared, and ready. Until this week that is when I joined another group on Facebook that had some unfortunate stories of complications. It has been a rough week of me second guessing my decision. I unfollowed that group because although I am well aware of the risks, I don't want them in the forefront of my mind a few days before surgery. Did anyone else have last minute concerns?

@@Who'sThere - I'm with you. The spirit WAS willing, but the flesh was weak. Thank goodness my mom was with me in Mexico as support (just to keep my friends and family quiet). If not, I might have created an embarrassing international incident with one of the cute nurses, dang I was unnaturally randy post op and for several months following.

@@Who'sThere - I'm with you. The spirit WAS willing, but the flesh was weak. Thank goodness my mom was with me in Mexico as support (just to keep my friends and family quiet). If not, I might have created an embarrassing international incident with one of the cute nurses, dang I was unnaturally randy post op and for several months following.

@@Who'sThere - I'm with you. The spirit WAS willing, but the flesh was weak. Thank goodness my mom was with me in Mexico as support (just to keep my friends and family quiet). If not, I might have created an embarrassing international incident with one of the cute nurses, dang I was unnaturally randy post op and for several months following.

So I should weigh in here as I may have been mentioned in the original post. My badges of honor (incisions) are all in my chest and upper belly. We did play around 2 days after while still in Mexico but the full pleasure didn't happen until 5 days later and we took it slow and easy. By day 9 we were having fun as usual. I will say though that keeping moving actually made me feel better.
Also I will say that the early adventures started with lotion and a back rub, as did our son! No pictures of the deed but I do have pictures of the smiley face in lotion on my wife's back on ST Patty's day 2009. My son was born 12-16-09. You do the math!

I had sex a week after a C-section. My husband wasn't too keen on the idea, but I told him to lay on his back, put his knees together, tip his hips, and shut the hell up.
He did as told.
I unintentionally sprayed him with milk.
I did not take pictures.

LOL. As a nurse, I will just say you'd be amazed at what some people will do.
But yes, I totally agree. Sex wasn't on the table (so to speak) for a couple of weeks after, and I had a good recovery.

I laughed. The closest I came to having any kind of sex right after surgery was when they came in and stuck a catheter in my you know what. I will tell you right now, that diverted my mind from any licentious thoughts. The effects lasted for days.

I thought it was funny.

I wouldn't recommend it. We waited 5 days, one of my staples snagged on the sheets and my scars were left feeling a bit like rug burn. It was a few weeks before we went there again.

Why does it matter? It isn't a contest.