Jachut

Well, I havent ever regained weight - I've not given up the exercise and I believe that's the secret. I continue to challenge myself, change it up and work really really hard. I will never stop doing that.
However, I know what you mean about motivation dropping off, I dont have the same focus I had, but then in lots of ways that's good, eating has taken a back seat in my life, like for normal people! I do keep in touch with my clinic and have had a small fill about once a year since year 3 - I'm six years out. I need to keep that fill where it is, or I do notice over time I eat more/faster.
Its just about staying focussed on it, not as much as we were in the early phase, but dont just leave it in there and forget about it. Maintaining your weight involves keeping organised and sensible about what you eat and continuing to exercise. And there's no secret to getting that back, you just have to do it.

I think the thing is people get frustrated. You're right, if you really could control your eating you wouldnt have needed the surgery. But if surgery and the possiblility of mucking it up isnt enough to keep you on the straight and narrow, I really dont know what anyone can say to you. Everyone goes through it, true, but really, how committed were you? Were you ready for this?
That's not judgemental but for heaven's sake, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get back on the program. Support is not going to come in the guise of people validating what you're doing. That does you absolutely not good. Support comes from people suggesting what you can do to make this easier.
Just becuase you're on liquids is no reason you have to starve. Liquids can be calorific, contain fat and Protein and keep your body going. Make yourself some Soup with real meat and some Pasta in it, for example, blend it up really well, thin it out with broth to a consistency you can handle now, and have as much of it as you can handle at a time, as often as you need not to be hungry. Make a real smoothie with real fruit, yogurt and milk rather than a Protein shake, get some fibre into yourself to feel some satisfaction. You can even blend up family dinners with broth to get the flavour or real food - NO food is off limits, just in solid form!
There. There is no reason to go hungry. And as for "wanting to chew something" as so many people say, you just have to suck it up. Its only a couple of weeks.

I think the thing is people get frustrated. You're right, if you really could control your eating you wouldnt have needed the surgery. But if surgery and the possiblility of mucking it up isnt enough to keep you on the straight and narrow, I really dont know what anyone can say to you. Everyone goes through it, true, but really, how committed were you? Were you ready for this?
That's not judgemental but for heaven's sake, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get back on the program. Support is not going to come in the guise of people validating what you're doing. That does you absolutely not good. Support comes from people suggesting what you can do to make this easier.
Just becuase you're on liquids is no reason you have to starve. Liquids can be calorific, contain fat and Protein and keep your body going. Make yourself some Soup with real meat and some Pasta in it, for example, blend it up really well, thin it out with broth to a consistency you can handle now, and have as much of it as you can handle at a time, as often as you need not to be hungry. Make a real smoothie with real fruit, yogurt and milk rather than a Protein shake, get some fibre into yourself to feel some satisfaction. You can even blend up family dinners with broth to get the flavour or real food - NO food is off limits, just in solid form!
There. There is no reason to go hungry. And as for "wanting to chew something" as so many people say, you just have to suck it up. Its only a couple of weeks.

I think the thing is people get frustrated. You're right, if you really could control your eating you wouldnt have needed the surgery. But if surgery and the possiblility of mucking it up isnt enough to keep you on the straight and narrow, I really dont know what anyone can say to you. Everyone goes through it, true, but really, how committed were you? Were you ready for this?
That's not judgemental but for heaven's sake, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get back on the program. Support is not going to come in the guise of people validating what you're doing. That does you absolutely not good. Support comes from people suggesting what you can do to make this easier.
Just becuase you're on liquids is no reason you have to starve. Liquids can be calorific, contain fat and Protein and keep your body going. Make yourself some Soup with real meat and some Pasta in it, for example, blend it up really well, thin it out with broth to a consistency you can handle now, and have as much of it as you can handle at a time, as often as you need not to be hungry. Make a real smoothie with real fruit, yogurt and milk rather than a Protein shake, get some fibre into yourself to feel some satisfaction. You can even blend up family dinners with broth to get the flavour or real food - NO food is off limits, just in solid form!
There. There is no reason to go hungry. And as for "wanting to chew something" as so many people say, you just have to suck it up. Its only a couple of weeks.

I can tell you, having lost 15lb from my already thin (BMI 22 or so frame) it made a HUGE difference. I have loose skin now that I didnt have 15lb ago. I got bonier and flabbier and looked no better being thinner. I can see now that any further improvement to my body would have to come from plastic surgery. Do you really NEED to lose the 18lb (ie are you already a healthy BMI)? I can tell you, I have a flat (if flabby) tummy, but I sure wish I could put some fat on my chest, neck and face, sadly if I try it will just go straight on my bum!
If you really need to lose the 18, then wait. Why would you go through PS, all that expense and healing, if you werent going to be sure you'd get the very best result possible?

If my metric waist size was half my height, I would fall into the category of being high risk for heart disease, as it would be over 80cm!
And if I had a waist size as large as 80cm, I would also have a double chin, a fat arse and cellulite. Healthy shmealth!!!y. I wanted to look good. And I dont look good at 180lb! I'm 5ft 10 and 140lb at the moment and I like that MUCH better. The stupid nutritionist I saw told me I'd never get to 154, I was being totally unrealistic. My doctor never mentioned a goal. I guess your goal depends whether you're a "I just want to be healthy" type or a "I want to be hot" type. I was/am way more the second type and I dont believe age has anything to do it, as I'm 44.
The only thing I noticed, I got a bit thinner after chemo, and was down to a BMI of 19/20. This is not actually underweight, its the very bottom of my healthy range though. My fill doctor (not my surgeon) was really funny about it, she wouldnt give me my fill back after being totally empty for the surgery, she really wanted me to gain weight. WTF is with everyone being so afraid of not having meat on your bones? If I'd dropped even lower, sure, once you're underweight you do need to gain. But what was wrong with wanting to stay at a BMI of 20? I couldnt by the way, once chemo finished and I regained some health, I gained 10lb pretty quick even WITH Fluid in my band.
Let your doctor set you a goal if you like, then if you're anythign like me, just ignore it and do whatever the hell you want. I know the difference between medical advice I need to listen to and medical "opinion" that I can ignore if I choose. You can weigh whatever you want. Dont be afraid to shoot for a low weight if you really want to, you dont know till you get there whether its maintainable, or whether it will look good. I feel a bit yuck because I've gone back to 140lb from 130 - but heck, I'm 5ft 10, it was pretty darn skinny. But I'd rather feel a bit fat and flabby from having gained so much weight, lol, than to have never experienced it. I know now its not maintainable for me, its too hard and takes sacrifices I'm not willing to make. And that $300 pair of jeans in my cupboard that fit me for 5 minutes can go on ebay where they wont mock me!
Likewise if you want to remain a bit heavier in the technically overweight cateogory, then remember there's a lot more to health than your actual weight. You've added years and years onto your life and improved your quality of life by losing the bulk of that weight. You may not feel the need to wear a bikini or designer jeans. You may think you look better a bit heavier and believe me, I look older at this low weight than I did when I had more padding on my face. To make my bum the size I want it, I have such a scrawny chest and shoulders that those shoestring tops I always wanted to wear dont look that great on me, I tend to cover and disguise THAT part of me now. So getting thin is not the be all and end all of anything either and trying to stay at a BMI of 20 for me was getting scarily into eating disorder category. It was all I thought about, obsessed about, I was pushing my body to run for hours whilst undergoing chemo, it was truly stupid. Your mental healt and ease with your lifestyle is every bit as important as what you actually weigh.

I can tell you, having lost 15lb from my already thin (BMI 22 or so frame) it made a HUGE difference. I have loose skin now that I didnt have 15lb ago. I got bonier and flabbier and looked no better being thinner. I can see now that any further improvement to my body would have to come from plastic surgery. Do you really NEED to lose the 18lb (ie are you already a healthy BMI)? I can tell you, I have a flat (if flabby) tummy, but I sure wish I could put some fat on my chest, neck and face, sadly if I try it will just go straight on my bum!
If you really need to lose the 18, then wait. Why would you go through PS, all that expense and healing, if you werent going to be sure you'd get the very best result possible?

That stuff that Spivak used was called Omnipac and I've over the years seen many of his patients discuss it.
Now, the harsh bit. I think you need to pull on your big girl boots and get real about this. First and foremost if you can find another doc, then do so. But if you have to stick with this guy, I would personally look at it this way :No relationship with the doc? So what? You dont need to piss in his pocket, you have the resources to do this, you need a service from him - that being a fill, or as many as it takes. Who cares if you cant stand him? If he's what's available, then put your feelings aside and use him.
Secondly $150 a visit? Does this deter you because its expensive (and thus tiresome) or because you genuinely cannot afford it? If you truly cant afford it, then my heart goes out to you but I really wouldnt know what you can do about that. Its really rough that your doc retired, and it really does suck, but this is what's available and you can either pay for it or you cant. If you cant, end of story, if you can but just find it annoying, well, thats a choice you're making isnt it? If it were me, I'd perhaps be going back, saying I cant afford to visit every week for these tiny fills and trying to maybe compromise on a slightly larger one, whilst still being cautious that to be unfilled will cost you money too.
You havent failed, honestly, we all need these bands filled for them to work, aftercare is vitally important. Support and compassion from our medical practitioners is invaluable, but at the end of the day, you're a pro at this, you know what to do and all you need from this guy is a medical service, not a soul mate. You also dont need to beat yourself up for not being happy with what you'd achieved,50lb is wonderful, its not small achievement, but I'm a chronic high achiever too and I personally would have been pissed off majorly to only get halfway to my goal, but I dont thnk it helps to look at what you secretely feel is a half arsed result and say perhaps I should have just settled - you're worth more than that and you got that far, you CAN go the whole way. But you need to suck up the rough situation and make it work for you.
Getting back on track is always hard and its always about blunt truths like this. They're not that great to face, but if you want the outcome, you'll put yourself through the pain. If you can possibly find a more compassionate and cheaper doctor, then obviously that's what you'd do, but if not, then I'd just be hard nosed about it, take what I need from the situation and seek moral support elsewhere.

That stuff that Spivak used was called Omnipac and I've over the years seen many of his patients discuss it.
Now, the harsh bit. I think you need to pull on your big girl boots and get real about this. First and foremost if you can find another doc, then do so. But if you have to stick with this guy, I would personally look at it this way :No relationship with the doc? So what? You dont need to piss in his pocket, you have the resources to do this, you need a service from him - that being a fill, or as many as it takes. Who cares if you cant stand him? If he's what's available, then put your feelings aside and use him.
Secondly $150 a visit? Does this deter you because its expensive (and thus tiresome) or because you genuinely cannot afford it? If you truly cant afford it, then my heart goes out to you but I really wouldnt know what you can do about that. Its really rough that your doc retired, and it really does suck, but this is what's available and you can either pay for it or you cant. If you cant, end of story, if you can but just find it annoying, well, thats a choice you're making isnt it? If it were me, I'd perhaps be going back, saying I cant afford to visit every week for these tiny fills and trying to maybe compromise on a slightly larger one, whilst still being cautious that to be unfilled will cost you money too.
You havent failed, honestly, we all need these bands filled for them to work, aftercare is vitally important. Support and compassion from our medical practitioners is invaluable, but at the end of the day, you're a pro at this, you know what to do and all you need from this guy is a medical service, not a soul mate. You also dont need to beat yourself up for not being happy with what you'd achieved,50lb is wonderful, its not small achievement, but I'm a chronic high achiever too and I personally would have been pissed off majorly to only get halfway to my goal, but I dont thnk it helps to look at what you secretely feel is a half arsed result and say perhaps I should have just settled - you're worth more than that and you got that far, you CAN go the whole way. But you need to suck up the rough situation and make it work for you.
Getting back on track is always hard and its always about blunt truths like this. They're not that great to face, but if you want the outcome, you'll put yourself through the pain. If you can possibly find a more compassionate and cheaper doctor, then obviously that's what you'd do, but if not, then I'd just be hard nosed about it, take what I need from the situation and seek moral support elsewhere.

Ah, having struggled for months to regain extreme weight loss due to cancer and chemotherapy, I'm not laughing much either. See that teeny pic of me? I was over 25lb heavier than I am now in that pic.

And I agree with this entirely, well said! I always tell people that I've got a lapband becuase I'd hate anyone to think that I'm some superwoman with amazing willpower whilst they're miserable failures. There IS an answer to obesity and I dont want to hide it or keep it secret, I want to share my experience and my journey to help others.
If you want to keep it private, that's your choice, but why make stupid jokes about it? How can you know when you say that to someone whether cancer has touched their lives?

This half cup thing is a ridiculous myth. If you were truly eating 1/2 a cup and eating nutritious, low fat food, including vegetables, then you'd be eating about 300 calories a day. If all you can eat is 1/2 cup, you'll need to eat more than 3 times a day or you'll be rather malnourished in a few months time.

I agree with Xavier, I dont count any of those things. I prefer to listen to my body. I eat till I'm satisfied/no longer hungry - not very often until i'm really full - and because of my band, that point comes before I've ingested too many calories.
My rules are: 3 meals no Snacks, healthy food most of the time, exercise every day possible. I favour a simple approach. I dont count a thing, for me personally, that's obsessive dieting behaviour that prevents a healthy relationship with food, it makes me think about and obsess over food all day. I eat what I feel like eating at each meal - and when I really think about it, normally that's reasonably healthy food.
Even exercise can be simple. I just go out the front door and run, sometimes I chuck a heavy sandbag around and I like body pump classes. I dont worry about all that crap about working individual muscles, supersetting this, pyramiding that, special shake before exercise, Protein shake after, this supplement or that.
I really believe eat less (that's where the band helps), move more. Its all you need to worry about. The rest you can do if you enjoy it, but its not strictly necessary.

Finally, they know how the band works!
We've had this discussion many times, how can you get stuck immediately you swallow a bite if food is sitting in the pouch for hours, not going through the stoma immediately and causing you to be stuck!
DH went to the doc yesterday and was given a video. We both attend Prof. Paul O'Brien's practice so its always at the forefront of any research into the band, Prof. O'Brien being one of the band's pioneers. Anyway, their latest discovery is that food does not sit in the pouch for hours and slowly plass through as previously thought but as all those of us actually WITH a band know is probably not the case. What the band actually does is exactly like a blocked sink - you know how the plug hole chugs and glugs and spits it back up and then sucks it down, spits it up, sucks it down and gradually clears? Well, that's what the band does too. Food passes through, some goes right through, most is spat back up by the muscular contractions of the stomach, then its sucked back, some goes through, more comes up etc. In that way, each bite takes about a minute to pass through the stoma. What the band does is slow down your eating (or should) to such an extent that there is time for the food you eat to stimulate the nerves at the top of the stomach to indicate fullness - merely a exention of that old, eat slowly becuase it takes your stomach 20 minutes to tell your brain its full theory. Its the slowness of eating with a band that allows such a small portion of food to satisfy.
that being the case, the doctor advised DH that its quite important not only to chew, but to WAIT between bites to allow this process to take place, even to the point of a minute between each bite of food.
The DVD also went on to reinforce this clinic's believe in 3 meals a day, no Snacks based on the fact that hunger hormones are way better controlled with a long period between meals, that the body is not designed to constantly be coping with new input, but rather is designed to have long periods of fasting. I know for a fact this works for me, but I think differnet people cope better with different ways of eating.
Interesting, hey?

Really, without lectures, the answer is staring you in the face.
For your own bowel health and every day comfort, you have to eat right and you have to exercise.
There's no way round it. You cant overcome a basically bad diet without fibre supplements and such and you cannot live the rest of your life having it ruined by consitipation caused by having yoru band so tight. Sooner or later, you are going to have to learn to eat right, get in enough Water and enough exercise to cause your bowels to work like they should.
Dont you see how insane what you're saying sounds? How on earth could you say you've been liberated from obesity when in reality, you've only swapped one set of miserable circumstances for another? This is not "health" and its not "normal life". This is an eating disorder in every sense of the word. I read your other post and truly, I think you've lost perspective and need some help to get it back. Being thin is not worth living with painful Constipation and avoiding any normal sort of food intake forever. Your band cant do it all, you simply have to take some of the responsiblity for self control. Let some Fluid out of your band and include some healthy foods.
Your bowel is only the one issue you can see and feel. What on earth do you think is going on in your body as a result of semi-starvation that might come back to bite you in the future?
I really am not lecturing you. We are all sick with this disease to varying degrees and your take on controlling it is completely and utterly understandable. But you are truly risking your long term wellbeing and you are certainly greatly increasing the chances of having band problems by remaining so tight.

Lol, the Americanisms drive me nuts! Like saying you survive on cheetos, you guys would say "I live off of cheetos". You dont need the of in there, you just say "I live off cheetos". That one drives me insane. I also spell grey, colour, favour, neighbour, whereas you guys would say gray, color, favor, neighbor. Ok, so these arent errors, they're differences in expression, I realise that.

Lol, the Americanisms drive me nuts! Like saying you survive on cheetos, you guys would say "I live off of cheetos". You dont need the of in there, you just say "I live off cheetos". That one drives me insane. I also spell grey, colour, favour, neighbour, whereas you guys would say gray, color, favor, neighbor. Ok, so these arent errors, they're differences in expression, I realise that.

Oh goodness, opening a can of worms, lol. There have been all in brawls on here about this topic, with heavier people getting into those of us that had lower BMI's, suggesting that with a bit of willpower, we could have "done it ourselves". Well, my response to that is that if it were so frickin easy to lose weight when your BMI is 35, as mine was, then why the heck have these heavier people gotten even fatter than that. There are definitely people that feel they are more deserving, that they suffer more because they are heavier etc. In those cases, the question can be spiteful but its more about them than you.
Other times, people genunienly dont think a BMI under 40 is that heavy. It is actually obese but people are so used to seeing such huge people these days and hardly anyone of a truly normal weight that it seems 'normal'. Their question really does reflect that they dont understand that you are feeling he effects of obesity at that stage. By the same token, we've had huge arguments because some of us, me for one, cannot understand how anyone could be happy with losing down to a BMI of 28 or 30 and stopping there. To me, that's still rather fat, pretty fat actually. But that's because I havent been morbidly obese, its because I somehow was lucky and did lose right down to a BMI of 20, and I just have a different perspective on it. I'd be desperate if I put on weight back to a BMI of 25 again.
You do this to please YOU and that's all that matters. By and large I dont think people mean o be rude or nasty, they hjust see things from another perspective.

not common? Wow, that surprises me. That's how my weight loss went in the first year. Big, fast dramatic loss for three or four weeks after a fill, then petered out to losing miniscule amounts, less and less each week until the next fill. After that, my weight loss was very slow, like less than a pound a week, and the fills didnt make a difference. But I still lost 100lb in the first 2 years and about 130lb overall - I was losing weight as late as last year and that was FIVE years out. Just every couple of months, a pound or two would disappear.
Dont try to figure out the why's of it. The people on here that I notice get the most frustrated and bash the band the most are the ones who want it all to work out with military precision - you know, eat this, count that, eat THIS many calories, make sure you burn EXACTLY that many, check it all on the body bugg, log it, add it up, etc, those are the ones that then end up bashing their heads against the brick wall because the number on the scale just doesnt say what it should. Your body will do what your body will do and all that really matters is eat less, move more and in a year you will weigh less. That's about as much control as you truly have.

I'd agree, unless childrens' menus are very different in the States than they are in Australia, there's rarely anything on one you would want to eat, let alone should eat. Hot dogs, pizzas, nuggets and chips.
Personally, I think its the perfect time for an attituden adjustment - eating out is about sampling, trying something new or having something you wouldnt be able to cook at home, it is NOT about getting value for your money. Eating your money's worth is the old way, the way that made us all fat. Enjoy the experience, enjoy a little of the food and be happy to pay for that, it costs the same whether you stuff yourself or not, so why do it?
We're not allowed to take leftovers home here, its against health regulations, but they're rarely good reheated, well I wouldnt bother, anyway.

The thing you ahve to remember is that if you're going to have excess skin - you ALREADY have it. That skin is already stretched out, those collagen bonds are already broken, you cant undo it with exercise, creams, slower weight loss, nothing. Its just down to genetics and luck. a good clue is stretch marks, if you have them, that skin isnt really going to snap back. If you're stretch mark free like I was, then you have some hope, but at 43, although I dont have an excess skin "problem", my body would look better and tighter if I'd never become overweight. But I'll take it, it sure beats still being obese. Try not to stress about it, none of us have perfect bodies and I think the key to happiness is learning to love what you have.
Exercise WILL give your body a better shape and create nice muscle that will fill out the skin a bit better though, we've all seen those crash diet after pictures where people have lost 500lb in 4 weeks and look like they've walked out of a concentration camp. That's the look you get when you lose the wrong sort of weight - too much muscle, proper diet and exercise, plenty of Protein, enough carbs for energy, some cardio and some strength training will preserve your muscle as much as possible (its unavoidable to lose some muscle with weight loss) and keep you shapely rather than scrawny.

My port is very obvious, I have a thin mid section too. It sticks out like a beacon if I'm undressed. I never worried about it, still work a bikini however other surgery has scarred my stomach now and at 43, I probably wont show it in public again. To be truthful, at my age and after such a big weight loss and 3 pregnancies, I didnt need plastic surgery for loose skin but there sure are better stomachs on the beach than mine, its probably better covered up now that I've gotten over the thrill of actually being able to wear a bikini in public without attracting horrified stares. Other than wearing a bikini, there's nothing else that the port shows through clothing wise. Well, it does a little in a fitted Tshirt, but you'd have to be looking hard for it, kinda thing, nobody else would notice. Heck, I still wear fitted T's and I have an ilestomy bag for the time being, and nobody notices THAT, so I dont think a port is a huge problem through clothing.

No way! I always knew what I wanted from it, but I learned early on to keep it to myself as various people (health professionals included) would protest that it was unattainable, unmaintainable, not necessary.
What exactly, may I ask is unattainable about aiming for a weight within the healthy range for my height? It baffles me.
It wasnt like I wanted to weigh 100lb at 5ft 10.
I remember my girlfriend of similar height to me saying "but I'm 80kg (180lb or so) and I'm the same height as you". I love her dearly, but I was privately thinking "yeah, and you're a bit fat!". I didnt say it of course, but to me, if you can pinch a roll on your middle (deflated weight loss tummies excepted of course), you've got a fair bit of weight to lose.

Hi, I get what you're saying. I had my band unfilled five months ago for cancer treatment, and I can tell you I am LOVING life without restriction. I managed my band very well, hardly ever puked, didnt have much trouble with it at all but I had gotten used to what a pain in the ass being unable to eat totally normally was. I can now eat anything, anywhere, without the pressure of worrying if it will go down, at the most what happened to me was "uncomfortable moments" when eating out etc, where I'd strive to hide the brief stuck/sliming from others I was eating with - I sure as eggs dont miss that one single bit. I'm enjoying bread again etc. Best of all, I havent regained any weight at all.
I wouldnt say we're all "food addicts" though, I think very few people are truly addicts. More often, certainly for me, we just plain like eating, we've gotten self indulgent, we never say no to ourselves, we develop bad habits and we dont exercise enough - its as simple as that. I've relearned those things and now practice them all and as a result, I need no restriction for the time being.

Excess calories is excess calories no matter how you try to dress it up - if you eat unlimited meat, cheese and eggs, you will get and/or stay fat - becuase they're calorie dense foods and should be eaten in reasonable moderation. Same as if you eat excess chocolate. Also, that's a lot of saturated fat - despite what some studies say about low carb and blood chemistry, you're really risking your cardiovascular healthy if you go all out on these foods. But it sounds like you feel somewhat cautious about it, which is good.
Its not that these foods are bad for you or that eating more of them and less carbs isnt good - its the "unlimited" that's the worry. If you want to lose weight, you have to limit food, period.
You'll also drop a lot of weight quick -but because carbs in the body bind to Water molecules, most of it will be Water. Its simple, deplete your body's carbohydrate stores and shed a sh*tload of water with it. So that quick, gratifying drop is all smoke and mirrors. Now, if you can stick to this diet for months on end, you will shed fat eventually - like any diet. Overnight results are never genuine.