bellabloom

Thank you for understanding my post. It is totally offensive to me to hear people put others down on their looks. My being thin has seemed to give these guys a license to criticize other women! Seriously, the guy I went out with last night insulted his own daughter to me!!! I am a professional photographer for a living. I've worked with a lot of models over the years. And it's interesting to me how SO many of them can't seem to find a relationship. One would think it would be easy being blessed with incredible beauty as they are. I suspect the issue is that they do attract shallow men obsessed with looks and perfection. They have to weed through that and find Someone who enjoys their beauty but looks past it and sees their personality as well. I have met several men obsessed with looks and they come right out and say it. It's not in my head.

This is so mean and hurtful. That post was about me celebrating my success and being thrilled about what I've accomplished. It was about self love and worth. How does it help you too tell me my posts suck? I would never say something like that to anyone! ????????????????????????????

Girl. Excuse my need to get real, and I am saying this with all due respect but many of us do seem to surround ourselves with like minded folk. You seem to be very focused on your weight and appearance -- at least here on these forums. That's not a knock, it's simply MY perception. I'm guessing that your tendency to focus on your personal appearance guides the attention of the men you are dating to do the same. Join groups that focus on biking, hiking, knitting, whatever it is YOU enjoy doing and like minded people will be there to be met. You turned around my post about men being obsessed with my weight and looks and made it my fault. It's ME that's obsessed with my weight and so therefore I attract men who are. That's just nuts. I'm online dating. I go out with a wide variety of men- different types and different backgrounds. It's a fairly random selection. I was doing the online dating thing at 160 pounds not that long ago. And no one mentioned my weight or looks, what I ate (I ate even less then) and I feel I got a lot more men interested in who I am than what I look like. I'm not wearing a flag that says "skinny obsessed men here" and I NEVER bring up weight on a date!! I have a rule never to discuss exes, weight, or health problems on a first date. It's the men. They look at me like I'm some rare type of zoo creature escaped that they've won the lottery to be out with. I just sit there eating my dinner while they go on and on about weight!! If I have to hear one more thin guy tell me about how he needs to lose 20 pounds!! Maybe I need to get better at shutting down the subject when it comes up. I need to come up with some lines that stop them from discussing it. I am not feeling much sympathy for what I'm going through. I've just lost 125 pounds and I find myself in a body that is totally foreign to me. I never expected to look like this. And men are treating me different because of it. I am not obsessed with my weight- I'm going through a huge adjustment and this forum is where I post on that subject. So yeah! I talk about my feelings regarding weight a lot!! What am I supposed to talk about? The price of rice in China?? I am very self confident- I love myself and I carry my head high. I am finding out that men, especially white men, in California, are super attracted to very thin women. And some of them are fixated on it to an unhealthy degree. I literally get the 10nth degree from these guys or they just can't stop commenting on my looks and it's so uncomfortable. They launch into complaining about their weight and then I just feel so awkward. It's not something that is my fault. It just is. I look like a model (well, an old one!) and I'm getting the attention of men obsessed with looks. It makes sense. It's new for me. It's weird. I don't like it. But it's a reality I'm dealing with. Their comments about other people weight and shortcomings piss me off!!! I'm also meeting men who care about more than that. Thank goodness. I'm looking for support on here and telling me I post too much on any one subject hurts my feelings. You don't have to read my posts if you don't want to hear what I have to say. You don't always have to agree with me or sympathize but at least don't make me feel I can't open up about things in a place where we all should be able to talk openly.

Oh yes. I agree. I like this in more ways than one!! And let's not even get into flexibility!! Snicker snicker Ahhhhhhhhhhh. Oh woman. You have something bright in your future!!! Hehehehehe

I'm with you cowgirl Jane. I'm feeling much the same way. The thrill of wining and dining has worn off and I'm simply burning out on the process. It's so stressful to spend time talking with someone I don't know, deciding what to share and what not to share. Especially if there is no chemistry. I'm not going to open up about myself deeply anyway and it's just brutal to make my way through all these dates with men I don't like. Even when I do meet someone I may like, it's not going well. I am running into the sexual seekers quite often which I find annoying and depressing. I'm not going to jump into bed with anyone right away and it's tiring to see these men try that with me. I feel depressed thinking of their lack of patience and desire for real intimacy. It bugs me a ton when they begin texting me sexually before I've even had a chance to meet them. I've run into a ton of men who are online dating because they don't have any time in their life, they are wrapped up in work or kids and it's like going to target- everything you need with minimal effort. They say they want to date but clearly they have no desire to make time for a relationship so I'm just guessing this is the lazy way of doing it for them. I'm getting really jaded and burnt out and I'm having a hard time getting excited even when I do meet someone I like. I've had several dates go to hell on the second date and that's even more frustrating and awkward. I've most definitely run into men who are interested mainly in my looks and that feels just weird considering my history and they seem super shallow. I'm running into a lot of guys who's really goal is to date a very thin woman and that's just crazy to me. A lot of guys fixated on weight. Anyway I'm taking a break for awhile too.

I have been on several dates lately and it's amazing me how often the subject of my weight is coming up. These men seemed intrigued and extremely attracted to and mesmerized by my thinness. They talk about my weight and how little I eat as such a plus and make sure they let me know how they don't like overweight women and they talk about their own weight a lot to the negative even if they are thin. Is there a breed of men especially attracted to underweight women? Because I seem to be attracting them in droves and it's a very weird feeling to me. I feel like for one I could never let these guys know I used to be overweight. They are so fixated on my shape and I feel totally uncomfortable thinking of what their reaction might be to know my history. I'm sitting their wondering how far their desire for perfection goes. I find the attitude pretty repulsive and walk away knowing I could not date these guys. In fact it's gotten so bad I'm finding myself seeking out and wanting to date an overweight man because I find his attitude about his body more attractive and it comforting to be with someone that is overweight. It's more familiar to me and I feel like they would be less likely to judge my history. The attention I'm getting from men seems so biased towards my looks. It's making me feel really weird. I'd hate to have to burst their bubble with the truth and I also hate the idea of only being seen for my physical self. I'm not saying it's all the guys I've gone out with, but I am definitely running into it. Like these guys are groupies for modelesque type women and I'm suddenly in that status. It bothers me to hear them put down overweight women. I happen to find overweight men and women attractive and I make sure and tell them that. I went to dinner with a guy tonight and both him and the waiter teased me about how little I ate and he even told me how his daughter is overweight and her thighs are big and how him and his ex wife tried to intervene and help her by sending her into counseling. Poor girl. I want to be skinny but I don't want to be in this kind of club.

This is a very interesting post and great conversation on the subject!!

Weight today!

I did something pretty wild today. A cute guy sat down next to at a restaurant. We were both eating alone so I struck up a conversation. OMG!! And we hit it off so I just offered him my number!!! OMG I cannot believe my huge balls. I have never done that in my whole life!!! Hahahahah!! I'm awesome. Eeeeeeek!!!

Isn't it awesome? I used to be obsessed. No longer!!

Walk walk walk walk. I know it's awful. It will pass!!!! Another few hours, it will end. Just walk!!

You're very lucky

Don't feel bad. That's normal. Some part of you is breaking up with the physical self you've grown used to. Some of us gain weight as a shield around ourselves. I know I did. It's natural to be afraid of losing that sheild, and also facing a huge life change. Maybe having sex made you feel afraid that you may not be the same, things will never be the same. Some part of you will be removed. But that's not the case. You will still be you but healthier, more physically capable and more alive than ever.

Also, lots of wls patients do eat carbs down the road and maintain their weight loss. It's all about portion control. And ask yourself, do you think you'll be able to lose weight naturally not giving up any foods you like? That's not the way it works. We have to compromise some things for better health. I don't miss the foods I used to be addicted to. Any more than an addict in recovery misses the drug that was destroying them. I'm so happy to be free of those foods.

After i had my seminar like i wasnt able to sleep feeling so dum for going over all this and not being able to do it on my own at the end of the day i do want to but i feel so bad for waisting all this money just because i cant do it alone like anyone normal that eats healthy and goes to the gym for example ???? Have you read the statistics on how rare natural weight loss is? Less than 5% keep the weight they lose off. You could spend thousands doing that only to likely fail. Wls resets our bodies to a new set point for weight. You can't do that naturally. I've seen so many people lose weight only to gain it back. Many times over!! Your making a wise investment in your future. Don't feel bad about not being able to do what 95% of people can't.

That is so messed up!! What is her problem? People are so cruel and stupid at times. They are jealous and just downright mean. As if you cheated or something. They came up with this surgery as a life saving intervention for people with weight issues. Someone is an alcoholic, and they get medical help. Do we judge them?? No we applaud them!!! It's bullshit that wls gets this treatment. You should feel so proud and you should definitely go above her head with a complaint. That is your PERSONAL information she shared. When people I don't want to tell ask me, I say I eat low carb, no sugar, and workout, and portion control. Which is all true. I do tell a lot of people however and the reason is because I know how nearly impossible it is for most people to lose weight naturally and i don't want to spread false hope that the diet industry does. The fact is once we become overweight our bodies reach a new set point which is very difficult to undo. I feel natural weightloss is mostly a myth and I want to raise awareness that this surgery is a wonderful thing and put there for people. But strangers? Yeah I don't usually tell them. It's too personal.

Not for me. But dairy will and so will regular carbs

I had a bypass. Had to have it reversed and converted to a sleeve. I had complications with the bypass and my awful surgeon chose to take care of it that way. I ended up with major scar tissue and had to deal with a stricture for 6 months. Anyway I'm good now but just experiencing this dump ing. My surgeon said sleeve patients can have dumping. Basically I have an intolerance to sugar and dairy and carbs and also get sick from too much at once Today I haven't had any carbs and have had no issues. It's rough to not have any carbs though because I drop weight super easy and I definitely can't lose much more!

I have had both bypass and the sleeve so my situation is a little different. I currently have a sleeve. My surgeon confirmed it is dumping. it's awful.

You look gorgeous!!

As it turns out, I have a pretty bad case of dumping syndrome. And I'm not entirely sure what causes it and how to manage it as it had started up rather suddenly. I wasn't sure it was dumping syndrome but I have confirmed it with my surgeon that it is. After I eat I become severely nauseated for about an hour, 30 minutes if I take zofran. It's so bad all I can do is lay there and groan. I can't talk or walk. It seems to be set off by anything sweet- ice cream, evens glass of milk, yogurt, etc. It also seems to happen at other times- just after any meal. I'm not sure what's triggering it. Can dumping be triggered by portion size alone? What foods trigger your dumping if you have it? What can be done to help with the symptoms? How do I avoid this from happening? Any advice appreciated. It's pretty awful.

Great thread!!

That me! Anyone else?

Alcohol seems to affect me exactly the same post surgery as a dead prior to surgery. I have a fairly high tolerance. So far nothing alcoholic has made me dump and id. pretty severely. I drink wine and champagne because those are low calorie options without a ton of alcohol. Whiskey on the rocks is something I like as well. Occasionally I splurged on a mixed drink like a Mohito but I really watch those because of the sugar content and the calories. Looking at mixed drinks there are a lot of low calorie options like the skinny vodka drinks and things made with soda Water etc.

It will be very similar to your gallbladder removal surgery in terms of pain. Less painful on your outer body than a C-section for more painful on your inner body because of the gas pains associated with the laparoscopic surgery. If you could handle a C-section without having narcotics the surgery is going to be a walk in the park for you