SkinnyDown

I've heard this, as well, but have not experienced it for myself as I've been with the same man since I was 17yo. I did have a WLS/PS friend who was a natural femdom and the one relationship she told me about aligns with what you've said. He was a wealthy man with a lot of power and absolutely smitten with her because she would not give him whatever he wanted. She would deny him, insult him, and that made him want her even more. He offered to take her as his mistress and pay her a lump sum every month. But she denied him.
Books and movies are often not reflective of reality, but rather experiences to entertain us and let us escape. If she would have gone so accurately into the BDSM it would not appeal to most people.

Congratulations! Sounds like you are doing great.

Just my 2c. I haven't read the books or seen the movie, no interest, for a reason. From my own experiences, men in positions of power, don't usually want to come home and be in charge. Typically most submissive males I have had contact with, have big responsibilities in their lives, especially work. Likewise, men I know who don't have a lot of control, seek it out through domination. So imo, I don't really believe the author knew much about D/s and/or BDSM to write books about it. It is, to me, an unbelievable scenario. I think it is watered down Hollywood mush for the masses to be honest. Again, just my opinion.

I am just about 2 weeks post op. When I started my journey about 8 months ago I weighed 310lbs. I lost 10lbs before surgery. I am now down to 275lbs! I have lost a total of 35 pounds so far. I'm so proud of myself. I already have so much more energy and feel better.

I used to be a big coffee drinker. At least 6-8 cups of black coffee a day. Since making the decision to have gastric bypass I have cut back to the point now that I have 1 cup a day of caffeinated coffee and one "Half-Caff". My surgery date is March 26, so I have time to cut back even more. Do you know if it is necessary to completely cut out the caffeinated coffee prior to surgery? If so, for how many days? I am already afraid of how crappy I will be during the 2 week liquid diet.

I am scheduled for surgery tomorrow and quit all caffeine 10 days ago..as well as all sugar. No way did I want to go through withdrawal while recuperating from the surgery. It was not required as my Pre-op diet just started today.

Hello! I thought I would introduce myself to the group. My name is Hanna and I'm 23. I am at the beginning stage of surgery. Just mailed in my paperwork. I live in st charles mo. I have blue cross blue shield of Illinois so If anyone has any tips for them I'm all ears. I've tried this process before in the diet stage and always got sidetracked. But this year I am motivated to get the surgery and be healthy. Looking for friends to chat with who understand the struggle of this process. Thank you for listening! Can't wait to make some friends

My surgeon says that the risk from dying from bariatric surgery is less than 1%. You are much higher risk of dying from the diseases caused by obesity than from surgery.

I've always fared better after a big surgery, with someone staying with me. One of my sister's has volunteered to stay with me when I get home from my surgery, for a week or until I feel OK on my own, whichever comes first. Sometimes it's just nice having the company.

If you’re a weight loss surgery patient or patient-to-be, you’d better grow a thick skin if you haven’t already. Your thick skin will help shield you from negative reactions to bariatric surgery. People are not afraid to make personal and hurtful comments about this surgery, even they often have no idea about the facts.


One of the barriers to getting weight loss surgery is the fear of telling others about it. People are quick to make you feel ashamed about your choice. They accuse you of cheating or of making a dangerous decision.
But it’s not just uninformed people who can make you feel bad. What about the media, which you trust to get its facts straight, and which influences millions of Americans’ beliefs and opinions? Sadly, the media spreads its share of misinformation about weight loss surgery.
One striking example occurred on the final episode of this season of NBC’s “The Biggest Loser.” For the record, this was not the first time this show publicly aired negative comments about weight loss surgery. On this occasion, Dr. Robert Huizenga clearly stated that weight loss surgery is an unhealthy choice. The implication was that it is a mistake in all cases, and far inferior to the weight loss methods used by “The Biggest Loser” contestants.
There was no mention of the fact that the weight loss methods used by the contestants are the exact same as the most effective weight loss methods used by weight loss surgery patients. That is, both use a low-calorie diet that dramatically reduces junk foods, and both encourage physical activity. The problem with weight loss surgery? Dr. Huizenga did not explain. Viewers can only guess at the horrors he was thinking of.
I’m certainly not the only one to notice such snubs on national television. The BariatricPal community had a thing or two to say about this particular episode of “The Biggest Loser,” and I invite you to check out the comments and add to the discussion if you haven’t already.
The Biggest Loser
Nobody’s dream in life is to get weight loss surgery. Unfortunately, nobody’s dream in life is to struggle with obesity, but many of us do. What options do we have? Those of us who have chosen weight loss surgery chose it because we exhausted our other options. Those options – regular diets – just didn’t work for us.
So, what would Dr. Huizenga have recommended in my case? A 16-week stay at the Biggest Loser Ranch, just like the contestants who made it to the season finale? Full dietary, medical, and physical activity support, just like the contestants? Sure, I would have been happy to try that option. Unfortunately, it costs about $3,000 per week to stay at the resort. That’s a value of $48,000, not including the longer-term support contestants receive.
Could I have lost the weight without surgery if I had had $48,000 to spend and the promise of lifetime support? I don’t know. What I do know is I did not have the chance to try. I did, however, have the chance to get weight loss surgery, and I made the most of it.
Don’t get me wrong. I really respect what I see on television of the Biggest Loser trainers and health staff that I see on television. Dr. Huizenga seems genuinely distressed about contestants’ poor health at the beginning of the show, and just as genuinely satisfied about their improved prognoses by the end. This season, trainer Jen’s tears were representative of the sincere stake the trainers have in the contestants’ lives. And, like many in America, I’d be on the first plane to Los Angeles if Bob or Dolvett offered to train me. But I do wish they did not feel the need to bash weight loss surgery without explanation.
The Truth of the Matter
Even if you have the choice between losing weight the Biggest Loser way or through weight loss surgery, which is better? There’s no question that you need to decide for yourself, but let’s take a look at each of these weight loss methods.
Losing weight Biggest Loser style means spending hours a day in the gym. The show doesn’t air nearly as much material on food as it does on exercise, although terrible eating habits got contestants to where they were, and good nutrition is clearly a part of their new lifestyles. It seems doubtful that Biggest Loser contestants can continue to exercise so many hours per day for the rest of their lives after the show, and I am certain that many other individuals just do not have this kind of time.
Weight loss surgery is…well…surgery. It involves going under the knife and changing something about your insides. There are inherent risks that are unavoidable when you undergo weight loss surgery. Aside from that, bariatric surgery requires a controlled, high-protein, nutritious diet, and exercise is recommended. Many patients can average about 100 pounds, or a respectable and reasonable 2 pounds per week, during their first year after surgery.
How do the results of losing weight Biggest Loser style versus with bariatric surgery? Initial weight loss seems comparable, according to a study discussed in US News and World Reports. But the study found Biggest Loser contestants ending up with a lower metabolic rate – making them potentially more likely to regain their weight. Granted, this study did not follow participants long-term, so we do not know what will happen in 10 or 20 years. What does seem clear, though, is that it is not yet justifiable for the “Biggest Loser” to state matter-of-factly that all weight loss surgery is bad.
Why Does It Matter?
Does it really matter what a reality television show says in passing about weight loss surgery? I believe it does. For one thing, the country already has a culture that largely views bariatric surgery negatively. We don’t need to increase the negative feelings with these vague statements proclaiming that the show helps contestants lose weight the “right” way, and other methods of weight loss are “wrong.”
Second, the show has millions of loyal viewers, including many who may be eligible for weight loss surgery. In my opinion, the show is doing them a disservice by stating unequivocally that bariatric surgery is a bad option. For some of these viewers, bariatric surgery may be the only option that would allow them to lose the weight that has plagued them their entire lives.
I don’t know what the solution is to this problem of negativity towards weight loss surgery and weight loss surgery patients. Education and patience come to mind – spread the word, when you can, about how weight loss surgery works and why some people get it. And, grow a thick skin. No matter where you are in your weight loss journey, you’re bound to get some negative comments about your decisions. Just know that you are doing the right thing for yourself.

Day 3 postop and my gut is just a rumbling. Is this gas that will pass or is this more long term? I think I remember seeing comments about this but dont recall the answers. Im taking gasx chewables and walking. Help?

I have just a quick question. Did everyone need someone to be with them the first few nights out of the hospital to take care of them or were they able to do things on their own. My mom will be taking me too and from the hospital and only lives 8 blocks from where I live, but I was wondering if I need her to spend the night or if I would be ok on my own at home. I live alone. My kid is in college. I would be interested in knowing people's thoughts and experiences. Thanks

Having someone around the first night is a good idea. My first night home was really rough - definitely the hardest part of the recovery, by far. I couldn't even get out of bed on my own until the next day. You don't know how much you use your stomach muscles for *everything* until you can't.
If your mom can stay with you that night, you should ask her. You'll be able to muddle through if necessary (I did manage to get to the bathroom once on my own when my husband conked out on the couch downstairs and couldn't be raised, but it wasn't fun), but it'd be better to have someone there if you can.
Hope this helps!

Well, I weigh about the same as you do and what a surgeon explained to me was that they are seeing significant weight loss with the sleeve alone without having to do the bypass. He said bypass is mainly for people that have larger amounts to lose. If we can get there with the sleeve then why get the bypass? See what I mean. He told me the sleeve was number one choice for me, but if I had diabetes then bypass would be for me. If you don't have any other health issues, I would go with the sleeve!

Personally I took great comfort in the fact that this is a laparoscopic procedure. The hospital I'm having my surgery at in Canada has had 3 fatalities in nearly 3,000 surgeries (two over the age of 50). My surgeon seemed to be very concerned that I was fully aware of EVERY risk associated and their likelihood. As with other people's experiences having a surgeon who is open with you about the consequences both positive and negative I believe is important. I would suggest calling your surgeon's office and asking for a breakdown of fatalities and post op complications.
@@emeraldeyesgirl very neat to learn that it has a lower mortality rate than gallbladder surgery!!

according to the American Bariatric Association, the mortality rate is 0.13% I have done lots of research along with information from my own hospital, that puts the mortality rate at 1/4 to 1/2 %.
Apparently gal bladder surgery is higher. Like what some of you have written above, it depends on where you go, and the skill of your surgeon . There are organizations that accredit hospitals. you want to go to a hospital that is recognized as a "center of excellence " and also any other certifications.
My general opinion is that there is more risk if you don't have the surgery.

My physician didn't "test" for nicotine however there was extensive talk around the subject. There was also a requirement to be tobacco free for at least 3 months. That being said I am a reformed smoker and a previous surgery while smoking cured me. Hacking your lungs out is not good after abdominal surgery....just sayin.

Nicotine prohibits healing. If you are intending on a surgery soon, ,you need to give up the nicotine entirely. For me it was easy. I smoked 2 packs of cigs a day for 35 years. I decided I wanted WLS and to live a longer life, so I threw my "full" pack of cigarettes away and never looked back on the day I decided I wanted surgery (a year ago). I weighed the pros and cons. What is important to you? To be healthy enough for surgery and have the best outcome without complications? or continue to smoke and not have surgery, or lie about it, have the surgery, end up with a leak that can either be repaired or not. Live or die? I chose to live. Believe me, I loved smoking. But I want to live more. Smoking is my past. Living healthy is my future. I hope your choice has you living a long and healthy life as well. All the best, my friend.

Start vaping and then keep lowering your nicotine levels down.. I vape now but am 100% nicotine free!!
Hope this helps and good luck ????

Smoking causes ulcers, and there is a risk of not healing properly, which can cause leaks. Just sayin'

As man, you guys really, really got to me. I guess, Thank You? Yes!
I actually smoked cigars for three years but quit last year. But with the idea of my surgery coming up, I thought, well, I'll smoke now since I never, ever can again. So it's been a week's worth of smoking. It ended when I read your post's. My surgeon was kinda snarky after my upper endoscopy the other day. He said all looks good to him. But he uttered something about "all I'm gonna do for you now is just take the Band out." No! But the smoking is probably why. He's real strict (I feel safer for him being so) so no more smoking for me. If I have to wait six months to prove myself, I will. Silly how I want to live by getting the RNY, but thought nothing of all the evils from smoking. You guys have the proverbial slap I need. But now I'm upset about waiting even longer for surgery because I can barely stand or walk, with lots of etc's. I am Pro-Me now. Bless all of you!

Ok, here I am down from 350 to 197 over 150 gone.. Sizes are amazing when looking at numbers size 12/14 from a 30/32 and medium from a 4x..Off all medication, except vitamins... Why can't I see it? I see just a shrunk up me.. I see rolls lots of them.. I love spanx..if I could I would sleep in them.. Not just for the look but the feel of my body being tight..
My goal weight was 180, I think my bones are made of steel! I am 5'8, turning 38, with 3 c-sections and over weight since I was 12...I am 9 months post-op from WLS.
I keep thinking loving myself the way I did at 350 has really messed up my body vision..what and how should I feel about myself now.. Do I learn to love me how I am, or should I be judging myself hard, so I keep pushing to make more and more changes...but the question is change into what? I mean the damage being over weight created on my body just isn't going away and now I am a super model...I think that is my problem... I want something to compare too and everyone is so different and has different background stories..
I am driving my family nuts when I ask if I am so and so size, or am I as small as her? Does this go away?

Before you have gastric bypass they warn you of a few things.
1. You can gain the weight back
2. Alcoholism is a possible side effect after surgery
3. food that used to fill you up or make you sick won't do that as much after awhile
4. Smoking cigarettes causes ulcers post-op
My mom always says no matter how much I'm warned - I've always had to learn every lesson the hard way. Gastric bypass was that way too.
My story is just a warning for all you newbies out there - all the stuff they warn you about is real.
Hey, I'm Kaylee and I had my surgery when I was 20 years old on June 11, 2012. I was 280lbs. In less than 8 months I got down to 150 lbs, 130lbs lost.
For the first 9 months I was insanely strict. If it wasn't a lean Protein or a non-starchy vegetable I wouldn't eat it. Couldn't pay me to eat a carb. While this is good health wise and I'm sure made my surgical team sing - it was the start of my inevitable failure. I was so strict that after awhile all the foods I had denied myself even a nibble of became so enticing I felt ravenous.
My first screw up was picking up smoking again almost a year after I quit. Pure stupidity, I was just bored and thought I could do it socially, wrong. Got ulcers and have had them for over a year and a half. Without acid reducer pills I'm in a lot of pain.
Breaking that golden rule led me to break other rules because hey, I already screwed up right? I started having those forbidden foods I had not allowed myself to even look at for such a long time. Bites turned into mouth fulls turned into plate fulls.
Then came introducing wine back into my life. I suffer from depression and when you don't have to put effort into getting drunk anymore it is so appealing. I fought depression with wine and started drinking every single night - going through a box of wine every 3 days or so.
I then moved from sunny south Florida, away from all my friends, to cold Missouri in the middle of January 2014. I fell into a deep depression and my drinking got worse, and since I was waiting for all my stuff to arrive in the moving truck I lived off hot pockets, Bagels, pretty much anything I could toss in a microwave or toaster. I ate crap, drank daily and smoked like a chimney for pretty much the entire year of 2014, all the while pretending my scale didn't exist and convincing myself my clothes were shrinking and I wasn't getting bigger. I was too ashamed and terrified to look at the scale.< /p>
I finally got up the courage to face what I had done to myself the start of January 2015 and got on the scale. 204lbs. In the span of one year I had gained 54lbs. I felt disgusted with myself and cried for days and days and beat myself up emotionally. I failed everyone, especially myself.
But nothing good comes from beating yourself up over what you cannot take back. I can't take back living on bagels and wine for an entire year. What I can do is fight to get back to 150lbs though.
So on January 12 I quit smoking, quit drinking every day and have reduced it to just Saturday's with my boyfriend at home versus my downtown-bad-habit-factory, and have gotten close to back to basics but allow myself some freedom - for example for lunch on days I work out I let myself have my chicken and veggies inside a wrap [carbs are my crack] instead of depriving myself of anything I want.
I want very badly to get back down to 150lbs... I'm terrified I never will and have somehow ruined this "one and only chance" I've made up in my head. Like I had this wonderful gift of being thin and now that I messed it up I'll never get it back, but I know that type of thinking won't help me. So I'm going to keep going and hopefully someday get back to it.
If you've actually made it this far, thank you, I really needed to get this horrible guilt off my chest. I feel like an absolute failure but getting it out helps.
So advice to all you n00bs:
1. Yes you can gain it back, I'm an example.
2. Becoming an alcoholic is a real risk you need to watch out for post op.
3. You will be surprised how much food you can get into your body if you really try
4. If you quit smoking never pick it up again, I didn't even have a desire to smoke and managed to become a pack a day smoker again within a month. Not even one after you quit.
And most of all - NEVER EVER stop using your scale. I ignored what I was doing for so long and that's how I ended up gaining the amount I did. If I had just looked a couple months before and saw 175lbs I would've done what I'm doing now back then. I would have never let it get this bad if I had just swallowed my pride and looked. I'm lucky that I caught myself when I did because I was headed towards being morbidly obese again.
Good luck to you all - try not to make all the mistakes I did. If my story can prevent one person from making one of my many mistakes I'd be happy.

I've cut out caffeinated coffee and tea, and diet soda. Of course, sugar. It's been tough, I wanted a diet coke so bad today. I gave up smoking 1 year ago. One thing that they asked me to do was to make sure I am taking in the right amount of Protein, veggies and fruit. I am taking in about 100 oz. Water daily. Exercise (which is limited because my knees are so bad and need to be replaced) Keeping my food journal. I'm working on not drinking any fluids before during or 30 minutes after a meal. I have OCD, and I tend to eat the same things for long periods of time. i.e. a turkey sandwich, cottage cheese, and milk for lunch every day for the past 2 years. I've had to work very hard to mix things up. Mainly, because I'm being told I have no idea what I will be able to tolerate after surgery. In case I can't....I need to have alternatives. Makes sense to me. Hope this helped.

Congratulations! Sounds like you are already doing great which will set you up for success throughout your journey. One thing that you might want to add is attending support groups. It is highly recommended, though not required. One WLS center said that people who attend support groups have a better success rate than those who don't. I didn't see their data but I am attending support group meetings anyway.
So, the sweet after dinner. Isn't it funny how we all have that? lol. For me, I either have to just not have it or find something that still fits the program. sugar free Jello pudding, sugar free popsicles are 2 options. Fresh fruit, though you have to find what you are able to handle--I'm a year post-op and still have trouble with some fruits. Apples can be tough--I definitely peel them but even a small apple an feel stuck. But, you could also cook a small apple and add some cinnamon to it, sugar free hot chocolate is great this time of year. Or, my fave, this cottage cheese dish:
16 oz fat free cottage cheese
1 cup lite cool whip (if you can get sugar free, that's best I think)
1 scoop of Protein powder (I use gourmet vanilla!! mmm)
1 package of fat free/sugar free cheesecake flavored Jello pudding
4 tablespoons of skim milk
Mmmm--this is amazing, even if you think you don't like cottage cheese!!!! It is decadent. Sometimes I even add crushed pineapple (without the juice) which just amps the awesomeness of this dish!
You could also substitute other sugar free jello's instead of the cheesecake jello pudding. SF Orange jello (dump the powder right in, don't actually make the jello--same as the pudding). Get creative and try different flavors.
This is what I do. I don't know if it is right or not but it keeps me sane. I did run it past the NUT and he didn't think it was horrible (though he did say to make sure to not use the pineapple juice from the crushed pineapple).
Best of luck to you and keep us posted!!