Inner Surfer Girl

I was reading a book about hiking Mount Everest...and one of the chapters was titled "go backwards to go forward". On Everest this refers to the fact that they hike from base camp to camp 1, then back to base camp, then back to camp one, on to camp two, all the way back to base camp....you get the picture. I thought at the time, how frustrating that would be if you didn't really understand why...the body has to acclimate to the altitude...you can't go straight to the top or you wont make it out alive because the blood isn't capable of delivering the oxygen you need.
So, what does this have to do with your situation? It seems like you are trying to fight your body instead of working with it. Take a breath, listen to your NUT (what seems like a step backwards) so that you can go forward stronger. The weight will do what it is going to do all YOU can control is following the plan and listening to the expert advice being given. You will get to the top of the mountain

Today at lunch I went down to the canteen a bit earlier than my close friend who I have lunch with everryday for 7 years, I got my food but he had not yet arrived so I went to sit with my friend's boss who usually would join both of us if he didn't have company. I waited so long but my friend didn't show up, then the colleague I sat with told me that my friend was there already but he went sitting with other friends.
Then after lunch I went to see my friend and he confessed that he saw that his boss was eating with "someone' but he didn't recognize that the person was ME!! that's why he went to sit at the other table!!!
Oh la là, I laughed so hard!! This is huge!! my best friend couldn't recognize me from behind!!! He also mentioned that my dress today is already hanging off me! Well, I'm still mostly between sizes (dropped from 16-18 to 12-14) I don't want to buy new clothes just yet, luckily I still have some old clothes of size 14 kept from a few years ago and I am now trying to wear the clothes size 16 that hanging fully in my closet before I really have to give them up :-(

I am 83 pounds down so far from my HW of 258. This week family visited from out of state, and one attraction everyone wanted to go to is Brook Green Gardens in SC. This is an enormous park with hundreds of huge statues and waterfalls and lush gardens and large nature trails with animals in their natural habitat. Well, we walked ALL over the whole place; it took 4 hours! I (and everyone else) was amazed that I could not only walk the trails, but keep right up with them as well! Not even sore the next day. This may not sound like much, but you are talking to a girl that WOULD NOT EVEN WALK ACROSS THE STREET TO THE MAIL BOX! Still beaming!

My surgery is in 2 days, but I have already had a NSV moment-- my scrubs used to be tight (like the seam ripped in the shirts tight...) well yesterday I had a liter of Fiji Water and needed the hand I was holding it with, so I stuck it in my front pocket... it fit with room to spare! What!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Eye exam today. I could lean into the exam machine where you place your chin on the pad and your forehead on the top part. Before losing 90 pounds, my boobs got in the way and it was a real struggle to get my face in there. I had to laugh and told the eye doctor why I found it so funny. Got a "congrats" out of it!

Love love love to hear it! congrats on your NSV's.
My best NSV so far is the fact that I had this tremendous energy the other day. It was just ready to come out. I dressed all the childen together with the balls and jump ropes and we went outside. I ran, ran, and ran. I played ball with my two yr old and chased her. I played frisbee with my son. I chased my 10 yr old. It was so awesome. I can't outrun them just yet, but it was sure fun to be able to chase them.
I still have a long journey but I am happier than before that's for sure.

It gets even better.... I left home last Saturday for Phoenix with a friend to relax and get a good tan before the winter hits in Canada. Then I flew to San Francisco this morning to meet up with my husband for a week of touring around and then home together. Well we ended up in different terminals so I asked him to come to my terminal and met me at my luggage carousel. We'll he could find me - why- because he didn't recognize me. Apparently, a week away and I've changed so drastically that after 26 years of marriage he couldn't recognize me! Apparently, my tan and further weight loss did it. Personally, I think he just hasn't noticed the difference seeing me everyday and then was looking for the old *chubbier* me
Feeling pretty good right now

He was probably worried that you would look in his.

Does your doctors office have a support group? Do you have a therapist or counselor? Have you tried OA? Have you been reading about emotional eating? Have you tried punching out your pillow?
This might be a time to explore a variety of resources including this forum (which as you obviously already know is a great place to practice honesty).
Best of luck and keep expressing your feelings!

He was probably worried that you would look in his.

He was probably worried that you would look in his.

I attend the first seminar in two days, and I am terrified of failing before I've even started! I've failed before on every diet, lifestyle change, or whatever we call it. I tried to get the surgery approved several times over the past few years, but ran into insurance issues. Now I have Medicare with an Advantage plan, and the first obstacle is overcome before I even start the process! I am excited, but terrified that I will fail, too! I have a very specific goal in mind this time. i can't have spinal repair surgery until I lose 100 pounds. I had to quit a job I loved and go on disability in my early fifties, and now at 57, I can only walk a very short distance. I had to get a manual wheelchair, and my independence is disappearing day by day. YOU can stick with this if you understand how many great, amazing, wonderful years you have ahead of you with good health! I hope all the beautiful advice that the others posted above will get you past the fear! Praying that you have a great success!

@@FluffyChiq
hhmmmmm you think so??
you can't spell "psychiatrist"
you let your son push a dangerous redial button!!!!
you were holding your son who was clad only in his pj's
you were wearing a diaper!!!
and in your own words, you confess to being a dork
you also say you are 100% ready to be committed!!!
wow - you will fit right in with this group!!
ROFLMAO
WELCOME WELCOME and WELCOME :)
kathy

How to get a bikini body..
Put a bikini on your body
Love it!!!

How to be skinny
1. Notice that your body is covered in skin.
2. Say, "Wow! I'm skinny!"
3. Congratulations! You are now skinny.

My doc's words were that he "didn't operate down there" so he didn't care. Ha!

From what I have seen, the general consensus of hospital nurses is that you at least wait until you get home - they really don't want to have to deal with that!

Oh I can so relate to the line, 'I love my mother, I just don't always like her.' That's our relationship for sure. She and my dad tell me all the time now about how proud they are of me. I can't help but wonder if that means they weren't proud of me before.
I never heard how proud they were of me for raising my children alone when my husband died. Or how I created a second career for myself. One that affords me the opportunity to live better than I ever did when my husband and I struggled to get our business off the ground and profitable.
This too, is a frequent discussion with the therapist I see. Somewhere along the line, this relationship I have with both my folks has given me a terrible self esteem issue...even though I know logically that I look very nice these days.
I've already appologized for all kinds of things I did to screw up my kids. I don't even know what some of those things are, I've just accepted that I must have done them...lol.

since i was a teenager my mother always continueally "commented" on my weight "situation"
i see a therapist about various things in life - mom and weight go hand in hand sometimes
as i've said before - according to my therapist
"1/2 the world sees a therapist - the other half should"
my 4 siblings were of good average weight
my mom was always dieting (she was small/thin)
when i told my mom about the WLS, she was sooooo excited
she was so happy/thrilled that i would lose weight and be "thin"
I was always an embarrassment (msp) to her
she said something like..............
"this is going to be sooo easy, you will just be able to eat a little bit"
"everything is gonna be great - you will never be overweight again"
you/me/all know how funny the above sounds
since i've lost my weight (goal) soooo many people/family memers etc have been giving me compliments
i'm not used to nice things being said about me - so i relish/thrilled about nice things being said
after all the years of critical comments from my mom about my "excesss" weight
I can count TWO times (not exaggerating) when she said a nice word about my appearance
this is sooo awful to say but..........i told my hubby(no one else) once when i was really upset with my mom
"if i die before my mom, i can just hear her saying------well at least she was thin
this is a life time "struggle" - you/me/we have to work consistently
but it is a good new lifestyle and i wouldn't trade it for the world
i am sooo happy that this was done
i luv my mom - don't think i always like her
kathy

Oh, if all mothers were as beatific as mine, it would be wonderful. And mine is a true gem.
But I have some friends whose mothers are narcissitic, mean, jealous, ignorant, abusive fools.
Giving birth does NOT automatically make a woman a good parent.
(But we all know this.)

(sigh)
Rants like yours (I loved it!) are important because it describes how hard it is for human beings to understand that EVERYBODY IS NOT JUST LIKE THEM.
It takes an Enlightened person to appreciate that just because you and I both go through the same life events, we have not had the same experiences.
Human beings (even those in the same families) have different physiologies, personalities, early childhood experiences, social experiences, sexual preferences and orientations, spiritual and political ideologies, and other differences. That stew of many differences produce dramatically different individual needs, preferences, styles, capabilities, strengths and weaknesses.
Instead, most of us respond like this: "Gee, this works for ME! Why doesn't it work for you? You must be doing it wrong!"

Immediately post-op, my favorite thing was Gas-X chewables!lol...
Some of my faves are:
*Quest bars- I have boxes of these things in almost every flavor because I love them so much! I eat one every day!
*Prunes-A new favorite, not for the flavor, but because they keep me regular
*Isopure Protein shake mix in dutch chocolate & vanilla
*Dove dark chocolate pieces- I keep a bag in the freezer for those times when I just HAVE to have some chocolate.
*Greek yogurt-I LOVE the Chobani flips & Dannon Oikos. I also like the YoCrunch! in lemon with cookie pieces, vanilla w/dark chocolate pieces, & raspberry w/dark chocolate pieces
*Nature Valley Protein Granola- I frequently add it to my morning cup of yogurt
*Crystal Light
*Electric Pressure Cooker- I use it to cook my meat and it always comes out so tender and juicy! No more stuck episodes from meat that was too dry!
*Raw vegetables such as broccoli, cauliflower, bell peppers, tomatoes, cucumbers, and celery dipped in ranch dressing
* Green Giant single serving veggies
* Brooks running shoes
* I also like the shaker bottles for my protein shakes. To be honest though, mine don't really get a lot of use because I usually eat Quest bars rather than drinking my protein. Same goes for the Isopure I mentioned earlier.
* sugar-free instant spiced apple cider
* Almonds- I keep 2 bags of them. 1 bag is roasted, salted almonds for when I want something crunchy & salty. The other bag is cinnamon roasted almonds for when I want something sweet.

Does your doctors office have a support group? Do you have a therapist or counselor? Have you tried OA? Have you been reading about emotional eating? Have you tried punching out your pillow?
This might be a time to explore a variety of resources including this forum (which as you obviously already know is a great place to practice honesty).
Best of luck and keep expressing your feelings!

Duh? Call already...

Does your doctors office have a support group? Do you have a therapist or counselor? Have you tried OA? Have you been reading about emotional eating? Have you tried punching out your pillow?
This might be a time to explore a variety of resources including this forum (which as you obviously already know is a great place to practice honesty).
Best of luck and keep expressing your feelings!