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Some people just need to hear the truth. "well THAT was rude" would have been an appropriate response IMO. And look straight at her.
I would agree that she's insecure by the way she so easily puts someone down. I bet no one calls her on it.
Always have the throat punch as a backup ????
Keep up the good work - 50 lbs wow!!

Some people just need to hear the truth. "well THAT was rude" would have been an appropriate response IMO. And look straight at her.
I would agree that she's insecure by the way she so easily puts someone down. I bet no one calls her on it.
Always have the throat punch as a backup ????
Keep up the good work - 50 lbs wow!!

Thanks everyone. I knew you would get it! It was just weird to feel myself crossing that fine line between pride and vanity. But thanks to your encouragement I'm gonna rock the shit out of it!
Unfortunately I've got one friend back there that has not been very successful with her lapband. She actually lost a lot of weight (way more than me) but has gained a lot back. So I'm definitely gonna downplay the whole weight thing with her because I don't want her to feel worse than she already does. And I'm OK with that. That's what friends are for. (I guess go ahead and mark your calendars, folks. Yes, Kindle is actually showing compassion for someone else!)
I really am excited about this trip, though. I realized today that other than visiting family, going to conferences or having surgery, I haven't taken time off for an actual vacation in at least 7 years. It will be so nice to take a break from real life, if only for a week.

Nothing wrong with that at all! I can kind of relate - when I had my high school reunion this summer (I was the one always picked on for being overweight) I made sure I looked *good*. ????
Besides, part of this entire transformation was I was able to leave the frumpy me behind. I was hiding all that under baggy, boxy clothes. I don't have to any more unless I choose to. I don't really think that's being terribly vain...
Hope you have a blast!

Nothing wrong with that at all! I can kind of relate - when I had my high school reunion this summer (I was the one always picked on for being overweight) I made sure I looked *good*. ????
Besides, part of this entire transformation was I was able to leave the frumpy me behind. I was hiding all that under baggy, boxy clothes. I don't have to any more unless I choose to. I don't really think that's being terribly vain...
Hope you have a blast!

Nothing wrong with that at all! I can kind of relate - when I had my high school reunion this summer (I was the one always picked on for being overweight) I made sure I looked *good*. ????
Besides, part of this entire transformation was I was able to leave the frumpy me behind. I was hiding all that under baggy, boxy clothes. I don't have to any more unless I choose to. I don't really think that's being terribly vain...
Hope you have a blast!

Congrats!
Hmm..I'm a Jr. high school-er! LOL Hard to imagine I haven't weighed this since I was like...12.
And um...wait...you're a guy...you'll always be a teenager!

If the key to weight loss success is self-esteem, and you’ve got none stashed in the pantry where you used to keep Cookies and potato chips, where do you go to find some?


HOW WE GOT HERE
In Part 1 of this article, I introduced the idea that positive self-esteem is the key to weight loss success. In Part 2, I’ll talk about why so many obese people have a negative self-esteem
Now let’s have a quick look at how we came to be such sorry specimens. Any psychologist or sociologist will tell you that some of the most troubling factors contributing to low or negative self-esteem (on the levels of individual people as well as the aggregate of citizens called American society) are a person’s physical appearance, weight, intelligence and peer pressure. Very often all four of those factors are tightly intertwined. In an elementary school cafeteria, Jane, an obese girl with a tray piled high with food winces at her classmates’ teasing. Unable to find a friendly place to eat her lunch, she sits down alone and cries at the sound of other kids’ voices: “Fatso!” One of the school bullies shoves Jane’s lunch onto the floor and laughs, “You didn’t need that food, Fatty!” Jane heads to the lavatory to cry in private. She hides in a stall and hears the popular girls chanting, “Fatty Fatty, two by four, can’t fit through the bathroom door!” I’m sure you’ve guessed by now that Jane’s name is actually spelled Jean, and that the school cafeteria scene above lives in my distant memory. Even when I don’t consciously think about that unhappy incident, it and many others like it formed my beliefs and feelings about myself a long, long time ago. Sometimes I feel that I’ll never get them all weeded out of me. In my case, that ancient stew of negative self-esteem flavored my life with some miserable symptoms: hypersensitivity to criticism, perfectionism, guilt, shame, irritability, a defensive attitude, a sense of defeat and insignificance, and a persistent, low-grade “fever” of dissatisfaction with myself, my life, and everybody else.
And yet, despite all that, at age 62 I can call myself a success, not just at weight management but at a host of other things. No, car repair is not one of those things, but on the whole I’m doing pretty well. I have my husband, my friends, and my own determination to thank for that. If I can turn myself around, you can do the same for you.
Low self-esteem is not something that gets fixed overnight, and having bariatric surgery is not the cure. Choosing surgery is a wonderful first step, but it’s not the end of the journey. So please, be kind to yourself! I’m not talking kind in the sense of indulgence but in the sense of a loving caretaker who understands that you’re weak and believes that one day you’ll be strong.
WHERE ARE WE GOING NEXT?
Psychologists say that self-esteem is linked to a sense of competence – the awareness that you have the knowledge, skills, and resources needed to accomplish a task. It’s unlikely that you’re going to start your weight loss journey with a strong sense of competence regarding weight loss. In fact, it’s quite likely that your self-esteem in that area is torn down and tattered from all the diet and weight battles you’ve fought and lost in the past. No matter how much information you’ve gained from your pre-op education, you don’t yet have a history of weight loss success to buoy you along.
So how do you even begin to feel good about your ability to make the lifestyle changes required for weight loss - make good food choices, control portions, take tiny bites, avoid grazing and so on? I’ll adapt the take tiny bites strategy to this effort. You tackle the weight loss project one tiny bite at a time. You repeat the effective actions of making good food choices, controlling portions, taking tiny bites and avoiding grazing over and over again until you’ve learned how to do it with less effort and more enjoyment. You seek and acquire the knowledge, skills and resources to help you succeed. You seek assistance from your surgeon, your support group, your family and friends. All this work may never become fun for you, but in my case, weight loss made it all worthwhile.
TODAY’S WEIGHT LOSS SUCCESS FORECAST IS…
Does the importance of positive self-esteem mean that you’re doomed to failure if your self-esteem isn’t already strong on the day of your bariatric surgery? Certainly not. If you take on the challenge of a weight loss winner’s lifestyle one tiny bite at a time, your WLS journey can actually help you increase your overall self-esteem while decreasing your weight. Each step you take, each new behavior, each pound you lose, will prove to you how capable and worthy you truly are.
From time to time, you may have to ignore or silence the voice of self-doubt. I like the way my friend Lisa counsels self-doubters. She says, simply and firmly, “You can do this.” So when your inner Doubting Thomas (or Thomasina) whispers (or shouts), “Forget it! No way! Lost cause!” take a deep breath and tell her “I can do this. I will do this.” Eventually you’ll turn your eating behavior around, reach your weight loss goal, and finally feel proud of what you’ve accomplished.

LOL...That's how I feel! I'm officially at the same weight I weighed in High School and more importantly, I'm no longer in the obese category of BMI and am now merely overweight. I'm so freaking happy! I can't believe I've lost 151 lbs in 8 months. I just have 49 more pounds to go and then I'll be at goal. These past few days I keep remembering what is was like to be this small. Lots of good memories from my teenage years. I feel more alive and mischievous than ever! (I forgot what a huge flirt I was lol.)
I will be eternally grateful for the gastric sleeve and for finding this place. The surgery truly is a life changer. If you are reading this and are considering having the surgeyr, do it! Don't be scared. Take the leap and change your life!

The thrill is gone and its a fabulous place to be.
Life goes on after the honeymoon. The NSV's , The shock from people around you and being driven by weight loss. Looking back I have to laugh. The high from the honeymoon was incredible..I even thought I had the answers to everything bariatric.
The transformation is complete. Finding other adventures and things to overcome and conquer. I'm soooo over it!

When I had WLS, I was of the mindset that I didn't care if I had loose skin. What ever, I just want to be healthy.
Now, having started the journey in to plastics, I can certainly relate. I won't say I had loathing for my loose skin, but it definitely bothered/bothers me.
The way my upper arms would sag and wrinkle like prunes, even though I have built up awesome biceps and triceps. I couldn't build more muscle without looking like the Hulk
The hanging belly. Not only was not pleasant to look at when undressed, but clothes just are not made to stuff that mess in there. Plus the rashes and issues when I'd exercise were another frequent reminder.
So I've had an arm lift, a panni, and a Tummy Tuck. And I have to say it's only the beginning. Not because I want to be "Barbie". OMG, I'm 53 for heaven sake. But it really is finishing off all of this hard work. It's the final chapter that I'll be happy to close and put behind me. I just need that winning power ball number!

I'm a little over 7 months out, and 112 pounds down. I've gone down to a lower BMI class, and about 5 pants sizes. I go to the gym 3-5 times a week and work by butt off, literally. I try not to make mistakes, and when I do, I've worked hard to not beat myself up about them. But I've found some of the hardest stuff to not beat myself up about, are the things I have absolutely no control over.

I didn't know that I would be gossiped about by literally EVERYONE at work. I didn't know that they would gossip instead of openly ask me how I lost the weight. I'm apparently super naive.

I didn't know that people would comment about how great I look, and then when someone tells them how I lost the weight, they would immediately change their opinion about how I look.

I didn't know that overweight people would be the LEAST likely to support me. But it was true! Jealousy is pretty common apparently. I made the terrible mistake of telling a coworker about my surgery 3 months out when they commented on how good I look. I then proceeded to get lectured for a half hour about how dangerous it is and what a terrible decision I made.

I didn't know that even after your success is becoming OBVIOUS, people would still feel negative. I just thought once I lost a lot of weight, they woudl come around and see it was a good decision. Sorry everyone, but the answer is no. 7 months out, that horrible coworker still makes horrible comments. Today eyes were rolled and a sarcastic "yeah right" was stated when I said 'yes I go to the gym 3-5x a week'. Apparently I'm lying. And apparently it doesn't matter that I've lost a ton of weight, you should still judge me and consider it a bad decision.

I didn't know that healthy, fit, thin people would actually be VERY supportive of my decision. I guess it makes sense though. They know how important health and fitness is, and they are happy to see someone else striving to better themself. I've actually found a great support system to discuss recipes, Protein shakes, new Snacks and workout ideas! My fiance tells me all the time about some of his friends who ask about my success and comment how great I look when they see pictures. I was terrified for those people to learn about my surgery, and I'm so thankful I finally told them.

I didn't know that I would have trouble seeing my own success. But I do, ALL the time. How does someone NOT see a 100+ pound loss? How is it possible that I look in the mirror and still see the old me sometimes? Maybe I need to get my eyes checked. I never thought that would be possible. But it happens everytime I go to the gym. Doesn't matter what I wear or what I'm doing. I look and don't see the curves, or the thin legs. I don't see that I actually have a shape other than round. I see what I used to be. I feel like a jerk talking about this too. No one wants to hear 'oh I've lost over 100 pounds but I don't see it myself'. It sounds like I'm fishing for compliments, but I'm not! It makes me sad. I know I should be thrilled, I know I should see it, but it's really challenging sometimes.

I didn't know that I would be so ashamed of my loose skin. I hate seeing my own body. I avoid the mirror all the time. I'm so embarrassed. Thank God its winter so I can wear long sleeves. How am I ever going to wear shorts!? Or a swim suit. I feel like people must see the skin and think its gross. I feel like I'm waving a flag to the world, 'Hey! Look at me! I was really overweight'. I don't want to hide my past, but I don't want it to be a neon sign in someones eyes before they get to know me.
I get married this October and my dress is sleeveless. I really don't want to be stressing about my arms, but I already think about it all the time.

I didn't know that I had so many triggers that made me want to eat. I don't handle stress well, and I know that about myself. That's not new, I'm working on it. But I didn't realize how much it made me want to eat. I've been able to focus that stress and use it at the gym, and its been really successful. But its a struggle every single day. When I get really upset, I still think about wanting junk food. I don't think that struggle will ever go away.

I didn't know how lucky I was having a great support system. I've always been really independent, and don't like relying on people. This process has shown my how wrong I was to feel that way. I would never have been so successful without my amazing fiance and friends. Having people to talk to has been so important to me. Even if they can't always understand what I'm going through, it makes such a difference getting things off my chest. I look forward to the support group meetings at my Bariatric Center every month. There's something about seeing people in person going through exactly what you are going through that gives such relief. Knowing I'm not alone has been so important to me.

This is precisely why God made plastic surgeons and aestheticians.

When I had WLS, I was of the mindset that I didn't care if I had loose skin. What ever, I just want to be healthy.
Now, having started the journey in to plastics, I can certainly relate. I won't say I had loathing for my loose skin, but it definitely bothered/bothers me.
The way my upper arms would sag and wrinkle like prunes, even though I have built up awesome biceps and triceps. I couldn't build more muscle without looking like the Hulk
The hanging belly. Not only was not pleasant to look at when undressed, but clothes just are not made to stuff that mess in there. Plus the rashes and issues when I'd exercise were another frequent reminder.
So I've had an arm lift, a panni, and a Tummy Tuck. And I have to say it's only the beginning. Not because I want to be "Barbie". OMG, I'm 53 for heaven sake. But it really is finishing off all of this hard work. It's the final chapter that I'll be happy to close and put behind me. I just need that winning power ball number!

When I had WLS, I was of the mindset that I didn't care if I had loose skin. What ever, I just want to be healthy.
Now, having started the journey in to plastics, I can certainly relate. I won't say I had loathing for my loose skin, but it definitely bothered/bothers me.
The way my upper arms would sag and wrinkle like prunes, even though I have built up awesome biceps and triceps. I couldn't build more muscle without looking like the Hulk
The hanging belly. Not only was not pleasant to look at when undressed, but clothes just are not made to stuff that mess in there. Plus the rashes and issues when I'd exercise were another frequent reminder.
So I've had an arm lift, a panni, and a Tummy Tuck. And I have to say it's only the beginning. Not because I want to be "Barbie". OMG, I'm 53 for heaven sake. But it really is finishing off all of this hard work. It's the final chapter that I'll be happy to close and put behind me. I just need that winning power ball number!

When I had WLS, I was of the mindset that I didn't care if I had loose skin. What ever, I just want to be healthy.
Now, having started the journey in to plastics, I can certainly relate. I won't say I had loathing for my loose skin, but it definitely bothered/bothers me.
The way my upper arms would sag and wrinkle like prunes, even though I have built up awesome biceps and triceps. I couldn't build more muscle without looking like the Hulk
The hanging belly. Not only was not pleasant to look at when undressed, but clothes just are not made to stuff that mess in there. Plus the rashes and issues when I'd exercise were another frequent reminder.
So I've had an arm lift, a panni, and a Tummy Tuck. And I have to say it's only the beginning. Not because I want to be "Barbie". OMG, I'm 53 for heaven sake. But it really is finishing off all of this hard work. It's the final chapter that I'll be happy to close and put behind me. I just need that winning power ball number!

When I had WLS, I was of the mindset that I didn't care if I had loose skin. What ever, I just want to be healthy.
Now, having started the journey in to plastics, I can certainly relate. I won't say I had loathing for my loose skin, but it definitely bothered/bothers me.
The way my upper arms would sag and wrinkle like prunes, even though I have built up awesome biceps and triceps. I couldn't build more muscle without looking like the Hulk
The hanging belly. Not only was not pleasant to look at when undressed, but clothes just are not made to stuff that mess in there. Plus the rashes and issues when I'd exercise were another frequent reminder.
So I've had an arm lift, a panni, and a Tummy Tuck. And I have to say it's only the beginning. Not because I want to be "Barbie". OMG, I'm 53 for heaven sake. But it really is finishing off all of this hard work. It's the final chapter that I'll be happy to close and put behind me. I just need that winning power ball number!

to all WLS newbies VET's, and everyone else in betwen
Today i celebrated my 62nd birthday
party dance party dance!!!
it's been 4 amazing years since i moved to sleeve land
i was one of the lucky ones that hardly had any problems PO
(not even gas!!)
in my previous life
i wore elastic waist blue jeans to work
they "hid" my rear end !!!
i wore big blouses/t-shirts
I looked great - NOT
didn't care about my appearance
if i didn't look in a mirror - i was "ok"
miserable etc - but that WAS me
fast forward
i have lost 105 lbs!!! GOAL
i feel wonderful, healthy and happy
experienced a lllllllong list of NSV's
and they keep coming
as i was reaching GOAL
my life was changing, improving
loosing the weight improved/got rid of meds and health issues
i "gained" confidence, happiness, - all those great feelings
"those feelings" were always there
couldn't find "them"
they were hiding
under all my blubber!!!
i peeled my excess skin off
feel like wonder women!!!
"we"/most say "WLS is not easy"
mental improvements aren't easy either
getting head/body issues to mesh together
isn't easy either
i'm stlll a work in progress
i look amazing, i really do
"cute as a button" LOL
DOS
12/15/11
235 lbs
57 years OLD

present
130 lbs
GOAL
62 years YOUNG!!!
Happy B'Day to me, today!!!!
my weight is a part of my past, present and future
life gets better and better
i am 5'3 short
but i feel 10 ft tall
congrats to ME
kathy

"Loving myself doesn't have to be accepting myself the way I am. It can also mean loving myself enough to be everything I imagine in my head."
@@LilMissDiva Irene,
Thank you for this post. This statement, that I quoted above, just resonates with me in such a powerful way. I had plastics done. A part of me--or maybe some of the social stigmatisms that are ingrained in my brain--feels partially guilty. I sort of feel like my vanity drove me to spend that money on myself, versus using it towards our home or kids, or any other area of our lives. But that part, when you said that "loving" ourselves...honoring our self worth...includes doing everything we can to become what we "imagine" ourselves to be...it hit the nail on the head. I worked VERY hard--from changing our eating life style at home, making our family an active family, to my extremely hard work in the gym--to become the person that I imagined. However, I fell short. Despite my 5' 6" frame and being a size 4/6 with barely any belly fat, my stomach still flapped when I ran and jumped. And no matter how many push-ups or how much weight I put on that bench press, my breast still looked like large & flappy dried prunes. And not matter how many lunges, squats, box jumps or leg presses I did, my upper thighs remained a jiggling mess. I wanted my hard work to reflect on my body. And it did. With my clothes on. With a pair of spanks on.
Thank you. I feel validated in my decision. Any whispers of regret or guilt have just floated away.

My sleeve & I have a pretty tight relationship. In 8 months I have learned how to eat and drink and my BFF has been happy. I can eat or drink pretty much what I want, within reason, and have been steady in the losing. Even though I can eat just about anything, I usually eat Soup for lunch, as I am a teacher... 23 minutes to slowly eat and coerce whatever it is into my sleeve AND still make it back to my classroom just doesn't happen. Being mostly liquid, Soups seems to be the most logical choice.
Today I had cheddar broccoli Soup. YUMMO! One of my favorites!!! I guess my sleeve had other ideas and picked today to be difficult. Although I have eaten it several times over the past few months, the soup just did not want to go down. UGH!!! Nothing worse than that "stuck" feeling, unless it is HOT and STUCK. Double UGH!!! I spent the first 10 minutes of my lunch trying to coach my food to move along. Thankfully my colleagues are used to me talking to myself and don't think I am delusional, because there I was walking in circles and begging and pleading. Finally, after what seemed like a miserable and interminable week made up of days before a vacation with excited and antsy students, my soup was granted access and went down. {SIGH!} Relief!!!!! PHEW ... not so interested in eating anymore though. Another 13 minutes left of lunch ... good a time as any to go for a walk, right? WRONG! That darned sleeve seems to have developed a mind of its own today, and is suddenly deciding to push the limits and experience new things. Granted, I went through this with two teenage children, but I never expected my new BFF to turn on me so suddenly! So, there I am, walking in the mostly empty hallway for about 2 1/2 minutes when suddenly I am ravaged by a sharp pain in my lower abdomen and some gawd awful sound from my stomach. I don't think anyone else heard, but then again I did garner a really weird look from a 6th grader, so who knows. Not me. I was too worried about what was taking place in my body to pay attention to anyone else. Luckily I was about 50 feet from the teacher's bathroom and felt that was the best place to be. I loosened my belt, a much needed fashion accessory of late unless I want to start a new trend and go pant-less. It didn't help much, but now it gave me a better view of the turmoil taking place in my belly. At first I was reminded of pregnancy when I thought it was so cute to see my stomach roll and shift. But then I remembered there's nothing cute about a stomach doing this when there is NO BABY INSIDE! Instead of gentle rolls my stomach was now lurching and jumping and making more noise than a 50-piece band ensemble. It was kind of like a horrific accident that you just know is going to end badly, but you cannot take your eyes away. I was horrified and at the same time fascinated by the movements, and tiny part of me was worried that I was an unknowing participant in the newest Alien movie ... waiting for the moment that ugly little creature popped its head out of my abdomen. Suddenly I belched, or what now passes as a belch, and passed gas as the same time. Oh Dear Lord!! What absolute incredible relief!!!!! I felt like sinking to the floor and crying. But alas, one more angry sound tore through the bathroom ... the bell rang signaling the end of my 23 minute lunch period. Time for class ...
Moral of the story ... I *USED* to love cheddar broccoli soup. Things change as your body adjusts to your new BFF and foods you once didn't like you may now be able to eat. Things you couldn't tolerate, you may once day be able to. And, sadly, something you have eaten for the past few months may turn your body into a horror film extra and you can no longer eat it. I will try my soup again someday, but now that I know what could possible happen I just might wait until I am home alone to dig up the courage!

I saw a recipe I want to try...place a half in a muffin tin, break an egg on it and bake. Garnish with salsa. Looked yummy!

I saw a recipe I want to try...place a half in a muffin tin, break an egg on it and bake. Garnish with salsa. Looked yummy!

I saw a recipe I want to try...place a half in a muffin tin, break an egg on it and bake. Garnish with salsa. Looked yummy!

I'll be honest, I skimmed your post because near the middle my eyes started getting teary and I am currently wearing a ton of non-waterproof makeup. I wasn't bothered by my excess skin the first few times I lost a lot of weight, probably because my entire life I have been fat or saggy, however after having lost with the sleeve I decided I wanted to get my boobs done. This was almost entirely because I hated that I couldn't wear cute tops because I needed major support bras to not look like I was super saggy. That same week I started checking out abdominoplasty pictures and I'll be honest even then I had no idea that I could ever have a flat stomach. Ever since I was a kid, even when I was thin I always had a little pooch of skin/fat so I generally didn't wear tight clothing or if I did it was with Spanx. Well, a year later and 3 surgeries with everything from the boobs and stomach, to thighs, arms and posterior body lift, and I look like a different person. I had no idea how different I would look and feel. Sure, I am still a little ashamed of my arm scars, although they are quickly fading and very hard to see, but the rest can only be seen when I'm not wearing clothing so I mostly ignore them.
Having my plastics procedures did unspeakable things for my confidence that just losing weight never could have. I am so grateful that I was able to have the work done and while most of my friends find me to be fabulously full of myself because I just had to go spend a small luxury car on being a "plastic Barbie", thanks to my surgeon I never look in the mirror any more and feel disgust. I had no idea how much the extra skin made me dislike myself until I finally saw what it was like gone. I may not love my face all the time, my hair might still be thin (damn sleeve) and I have plenty of other flaws, but my figure, because of my surgeon is something that for the first time in my life that makes me feel almost hot sometimes. I feel like a finished product, instead of like a deflated fat girl.

I too watched that episode of "Skin Tight" and cried right along with her, but for a different reason. I know the joy of a post-skin removal body and it is WONDERFUL! I knew how she felt about herself with all the extra skin and I knew how awesome she felt once it was gone, because I've been on both ends of that journey as well. That moment when the surgeon lifted her arm skin out of the way, revealing her shapely arm and she saw what she might look like post-op got me crying too!
One thing my husband pointed out after that show has me a little worried though. He said he was afraid that people might see that show and decide they are better off not losing weight in the first place so they don't have to deal with the excess skin. I immediately said "excess skin won't kill you, but an extra hundred pounds will!" I worry that he is right, though. Some people really find vanity to be a major motivator for weight loss and if they see that show and realize that losing weight alone won't be enough to get them looking fantastic, they may lose their motivation to lose weight in the first place.