blondiebabs

Why are so many so self righteous and judgmental? Why do people get so crack ass offended when someone disagrees with their opinion? Why the name calling and the finger pointing? Why the insults and put downs?
Haters.
Clique.
Troll.
Leader of the Pack.
b***h.

It's the INTERNET people!! We are NOT all friends, we are NOT all family. We are NOT all going to agree on everything every time. It's a bunch of strangers behind a computer monitor, free to say what they want without repercussion. It's highly unlikely that everything that is said on an internet forum would be said to someone face to face.
IT'S OK!!!

You don't like me? I'm OK with that. You hate my opinion? I'm OK with that. You think I'm a b***h? AWESOME!! I really don't care.

I have real life friends and family, as I am sure you do. If I make a few friends here, fabulous. If I make a few NOT friends here (I don't do internet enemies, that's silly), fantastic!
Forums are a place for discussion. An exchange of ideas. A place to share your opinion and hear the opinions of others. We learn and grow from opinions that don't match ours. It doesn't mean we have to change our opinion or that our opinion is BAD or WRONG, it's just different.
You hate this place and want to leave? GO!! Don't let the doorknob hit you.
You love this place and want to stay and argue? PERFECT. Glad to have you.

You like to debate? Love it.

You enjoy playing devil's advocate? Great!

You want to call names? You're the problem.

You want to post inflammatory crap and then erase it? You're the problem.
You want to pass judgement on others for living their lives differently than you? YOU'RE THE PROBLEM.
We have an awesome feature on this forum where you block people you don't like. You will never see their posts again. Use it. If you don't like something you've just read, MOVE ON. You replied to a thread and don't want to read any more about the topic? UNFOLLOW. Someone's advice mortally offends you, say so respectfully and move on. You aren't interested in what you've read or you think someone has moved off topic? Don't read further. It's no big deal. You don't like reading the same question over and over? Don't answer. The world WILL NOT stop because you didn't put your two cents in, I promise you.
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Take what helps you, leave the rest. No big $*^%$(&%^ deal. Seriously. You can add to the discussion or you can BECOME the discussion. It's really up to you.

Thanks for posting the link to your new blog. I'm looking forward to reading your posts.
I've been watching a twenty-something girl on Youtube and she is fun to watch and has a way of putting what I'm feeling into words. You should check her out.
Tell Clusie L that Frankensleeve sent you!
Clusie L
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJGHPqGhf1TOLpJ4hUVF08w

I didn't have to ask mine. He discussed it openly in the first group meeting.

Awesome, good luck!!

Yes it is ok!! I asked mine on the first consult, I also asked him how many of these surgeries he's done, and he was happy to answer my questions. I'd say if they acted offended or didn't want to answer that, then maybe that isn't the surgeon you want. I know I don't want someone cutting on me who has a bad attitude.

Get the most from your Bariatric procedure.

Awesome, good luck!!

Hi all!
I'm in my 4th month and have two months to go before I can have surgery...I've been thinking a lot about what if I never wake up etc, is it okay or proper to ask my surgeon his mortality rate? I don't wNt to offend him but this is my life. I appreciate your responses ????

Hi there. Welcome to the forum. Opinions and tact will vary.......just sayin'.
Sounds like you are doing fine. This is not a race. There is no price for losing quickly, no penalty for losing more slowly. Some people wish they could lose a pound a day, but at that rate, you would be vanished into thin air by Halloween.
Just follow your plan and don't get discouraged with stalls. Stalls are like lovers. Your first will probably not be your last!

I had my surgery on December 16th. So, as you can see, I'm really new to this!
I finally got to the point where I just knew that I needed help losing weight because me trying to do it all on my own was just not working... I tried just about every fad diet out there.. while some worked for a while, I couldn't maintain that loss.. I pretty much had an addiction to food.
I would work out 5-6 days a week doing everything from being a gym rat to doing crossfit. nothing seemed to work anymore.
I finally took the plunge and started the whole LONG process this past August. and in a short time I was going under the knife.
The pain afterwards was WAY less than I had anticipated. Pretty much felt like I had been doing abs at the gym for 12+ hours.
I am not really sure if this is the "right" place to do my intro, but here it is.
I'm almost 36 (in 2 days).
Starting weight was 292.. I'm down to 263 right now.. but I lost quite a bit of muscle.. I am on soft foods, and am looking forward to a more "normal" diet regime.
I have to be a bit honest... I thought that the weight would come off faster.. but a loss is a loss right? I am hoping to gain more muscle back to be able to lose more fat.. and hopefully will get cleared to go back to the gym next week after my next follow up visit.
I hope to be able to talk freely here with you all. I do not have many people in real life that I CAN talk to that would even begin to understand the ups and downs.

I got the call today! Insurance has been verified, and my first appointment has been scheduled for January 26th!! The case manager at KC Bariatric asked me to check with my case manager with UHC Bariatric Resources to see if a supervised diet was a requirement. I told her, I'll ask, but whether it is or it isn't you have copies from my PCP of my 6 month supervised diet, along with copies from my OBGYN of my 5 years of weight history, and copies of my sleep study. She said.....well.......you were prepared, weren't you? lol Cross your fingers. I want to give this to myself for my birthday which is Feb 26th! Say some prayers!!

I am 8 months post-of and I can honestly tell you that i too was depressed about "giving up food", however, I can now also very HONESTLY tell you that you do NOT. I eat EVERYTHING -- not huge amounts but everything. The ONLY thing I don't is soda because of the sugar and the gas is too filling, but I treat myself every weekend to eat whatever I want, in small quantities but during the week I am very good. Once you see that scale go down down down down, food won't be a priority in your life anymore because you will be THAT much happier and feel AMAZING! But... once a few months go and you lose a good amount of weight, you do treat yourself and since a small amount is all you can fit, you're happy because you don't feel that "empty" feeling wanting to eat more more more....
Don't worry, you'll feel back to "normal" soon and WILL enjoy food like you did before WLS! Good luck!!

Not gonna lie, I was freaking out on the first few days of the pre-op diet. I have a counselor and for the last 3 months, I was 100% ready. I've been talking to her and going over why I eat so much, triggers, addiction, etc etc etc. That first day of not having that choice was a wake up call. It was REAL...not just talk. What am I doing?
My boyfriend sat me down and said that I was sounding like an addict. And I was. I had to step back and think 'WHY am I freaking out?" It was because I was afraid of not being able to eat 4 pieces of pizza slathered in ranch. Because I won't be able to eat a pound of takeout. I was freaking out because I couldn't scarf down a 12 inch Subway and a bag of chips and 3 Cookies.
Stepping back....WHY WOULD I WANT TO DO THAT? That's not normal. And it is not healthy.
Those 15-20 minutes of frenzied eating are NOT worth the rest of the day feeling horrible about myself. Knowing people judge me when I grocery shop- even if its for veggies. I catch the looks. Wheezing walking up 10 stairs. TEN stairs. Seeing what I look like when sitting down. The faces of people when I get on an airplane. Hearing I am pre-diabetic. Knowing I could have a heart attack if I keep doing this to myself. I want to have kids one day, but sex is like a work out. It's not even fun anymore.
I'm ready. That little demon telling me I'm scared because I can't volume eat has been murdered. Viciously.

@@BitterSweet*
you talking to me bud??
yep the pants story was quite a downer
did you notice??? no smileys in that post!!!
i'm back to "normal" with my smileys

@@VGB
my case is "similar but different "
like many of us, i always hid from the camera
i didn't have any pictures of the "HUGE" me
somehow i found an old picture of myself for my before pic
i never saved any of my old clothes that got bigger i i got smaller
so i had nothing to compare my new self - to the awful overweight person of the past
so.............after i reached goal, down 105 lbs
i went to kohl's where i always bought my elastic waisted 2X plus size jeans
i put them on in the fitting room
i stared at myself for a long time
just kept staring for 10 minutes, 15, seemed like forever. i just stared, didn't cry - just stared in disbelief shock
i finally took them off and spent $24.95 or whatever to have those jeans for posterity
once again i just sat in the car
now i did start to cry because i realized what i looked like to others
snapped out of it, drove home and promptly hung up the jeans in the back of my closet
they will always stay there as my past
i know how great i feel, and look too
its just sad to "see" how i used to look
can't go back - whats done is done
i am enjoying, loving each and every day
my health and happiness go hand in hand
life is wonderful
kathy

I started seeing a psychologist a few weeks before I started this journey, when I was just in the pondering the idea of surgery. It has been very helpful. I have several anxieties/fears surrounding it and it's nice to kind of have a bouncing board to help me work through them. Not sure how I'll handle food issues, not sure how I'll handle being a thin adult since I've never been a thin adult, and the fears of failing and succeeding as well. =)

I just got my date yesterday, I'm scheduled for February 9th. =D I have to start the liver shrink by Jan 26th.

@@AlessandraMarie I'm not crazy either, however like @@Inner Surfer Girl said, they can be very helpful. I've found seeing one myself more helpful than I could have ever imagined. When you deal with people bombarding you with negativity and making fun of you and other things you mentioned, it is nice to have a non-judgmental environment and someone who you can use as a bouncing board to talk about those things with and how it makes you feel, as well as your frustrations with trying so hard and not losing weight. I know those frustrations well myself. A psychologist is just talk therapy, they do not try to medicate you and label you.

@@AlessandraMarie it sounds like maybe, if you do not already, you should talk to a psychologist, I do not say that viciously, I see one weekly myself.
Everyone here is supportive of your journey.
Perhaps you can start your own thread with your specific issues and needs, state what area you are living in, and others will see your post and be able to give you more feedback specific to you and help you out, everyone who reads the original post of this thread isn't necessarily going to go through and read the entire thread and respond to you. You should give it a try, I know people here have been helpful to me when I've asked questions in my own posts. =)

They told me it takes 24-48 hrs to upload into the system. All I need is the denial letter ????

My personal belief is that everything is fine in moderation. This is a way of life that I have to stick to forever so I don't believe in completely banning myself from eating anything, unless of course it makes me feel sick after eating it. Granted, some people need a lot more structure in their post op life and I can certainly appreciate that. I think it comes down to being honest with yourself. If you can have a flat soda or a slurpee or whatever as just a once in a while thing then great. But if you are the type where giving yourself too many options is like opening the floodgates than don't do it.
Edit to add: if you were hooked on something pre op I think it's pretty clear that it's something you should avoid post op. I didn't have problems with drinking soda so having a slurpee once in a blue moon won't throw me off course.

Just got my date yesterday!! Scheduled for 2/9 --
Congratulations to everyone one on taking this HUGE step!!! Best of luck to you all!

It's my OPINION (and you know what they say about those!) that you aren't ready for surgery. I know that sounds harsh and mean and sh!$$y and rude and hateful, but it's my opinion.
I am glad you are in counseling and I do think that with help you will eventually be able to get to where you need to be MENTALLY and EMOTIONALLY to have this procedure. I am also happy for you that you are being so honest with yourself about your fears. That's HUGE.
I am only 19 months out and by no means an expert on anyone but myself but within all the people I know who have had this surgery, the most successful ones are those who are no longer afraid. They are TIRED of being fat. They are TIRED of the hold food has over them. They are READY to give it up and break the cycle of unhealthy eating. They still stumble and they still fall from time to time, but the strength that they need to get back up and get back on the wagon comes from their need to be healthy.
The ones that I see fail or "lose slowly" or regain are the ones who have not made the decision to give up bad eating habits, instead letting the surgery decide for them. Eventually your ability to eat whatever you want will come back. You may not be able to eat as much in one sitting, but if you graze all day, you will be able to finish off a large deep dish pizza, a gallon of ice cream, a package of Cookies.
I love food. I still think about food far too much. But I also hate it for all the years I allowed it to control my life. I will not allow that to happen again because it really is much more fun to be thin and healthy 24/7 than it is to stuff my face for 15-20 minutes 6 or 7 times a day.
It's like smoking. A smoker will only really quit when they are ready. No amount of Patches of vapor or ecigs or resolutions will get them to quit until they make that decision with their entire being.
It's OK to be scared and it's OK to mourn food, but do not do this until you know that you will rejoice in your health more than you will miss that plate of nachos.

@@VGB I know what you mean, I hate when people at work take pictures of me even though I ask them not to, and when I see them on the work shared drive I don't even recognize myself. My surgery date is Feb 9th too. =)

I could go go a honeybun.....#justsayin