j_war06

oh yeah, the protein diet! Great for a little while, chocolate for breakfast, lunch, and supper. I used to LOVE slimfast, now I gag whenever I see a can! UGH! and those horrble little candy-bars. I dont like candy anyways, but I do like chocolate occasionally so I decided that I could do it, UGH! This was bad, TOO MUCH CHOCOLATE, IT IS POSSIBLE

I dont mind a liquid diet, I have been on several of those because I have TMJ. Lemme tell ya something, chicken broth from a straw is not appetizing lol. I say life is beautiful because it is something new I have learned, I used to think it was horrible that I wanted it to be over, but now I want to live, I just want to be healthy. I LOVE to exercise, when I was on the road to anorexia in about 6th grade I would walk 5 miles or more a day, I loved it. I have my exercise equipment, I just cant use it. I just dont understand why every time I get on here someone new is getting the band and I am still sitting around waiting and dissentigrating. I used to have gorgeous skin, but now it is dry and pasty since I cant do anything. I used to play golf, was on the golf team, was number one in the school for girls golf. I went to District leading, guess what? I tripped over a root on the most gorgeous day to play golf (all the other tournements were in thunderstorms and massive rain), and my knees havent been the same since. I had to quit the golf team because I was useless, and was denied my letterman because I didnt finish the district game because they wouldnt let me with my injury because it was running the score up instead of keeping it down. Now I am completely inactive and I hate it. I thought I had gotten better my sophomore year so I started going to the gym 6 days a week conditioning in hopes to start golf again. Well... I was doing good for about a week and a half, then all of a sudden my body stopped working, I couldnt get out of bed my muscles wouldnt lift me. So I figured I was just sore and was overdoing it (I was walking up to 3 miles a day). So I didnt go for a week. I went back and couldnt life anything over 5lbs with any of my muscles and everytime I got on the equipment my bones and joints would go all wacky and crooked and stuff. That is why I was sore, I didnt know other peoples' shoulders couldnt go over the top of their head when they did the stand up crunches. I didnt know that other peoples' elbows did bow out when putting pressure on them. And I sure never realized that other peoples' legs didn't bow backwards when they were walking on the treadmill. I would get done exercising and be even more limber, which is great if you weigh 100lbs and are a cheerleader. Not great when you are 240lbs. I cant do what I love. I cant even write anymore because my hands hurt too much, I erase and redo too much to do it in a recorder then play it back into the computer for it to type. I dont know, seems like weight is ruining my life. You all know why I quit weight watchers? Because the lady got on to me for not eating enough, when I was perfectly satisfied at the portions that I was eating. She was incredibly rude to me because I couldnt eat enough for the diet. I quit vegetarianism because I almost passed out after almost a month from not having enough nutrition. When I was doing the vegan thing, I felt wonderful and light all the time, I felt good, until I got fuzzy eyed and light-headed in San Antonio. I dont always take my adepex because I will stay up for 2 days straight, without being tired at all. I quit the Birmingham diet because, well it was nasty lol. I dont do Atkins because I dont like a lot of meat or cheese (I cant taste the cheese, why add the extra calories?) I quit counting calories because I have Dyscalculia and couldnt count the calories lol. I quit subway because I got burnt out on sub sandwiches (still cant order anything I used to eat). Quit not eating because I got to Jr. High and there were better food choices and I lost all my friends when I started eating again. I dont remember being on any other real diets, hmmmm....... cant think og anymore, but I have done the same things over and over since I was like 3 and mom was doing them for me.

Its not discrimination because I am refering to my friend's dad, who owns a shop here in my town. He came up with it, I am not that creative. No breathing problems? Honey I have panic disorder, that means that if I get excited, scared, worried whatever I will hyperventilate. I also have sleep apnea which means when I hyperventilate to sleep, then I may stop breathing in my sleep. I never said I wasnt a hypocrite, everyone is a hypocrite no matter if they realize it or not. I wish everyday that I didnt have these arms and legs, because then I would fake ones that wouldnt hurt because you cant feel them. Besides all these points, if I am positive no one pays attention, they say thats great and move on. Even on here I have 2 or 3 positive posts and I think I got 2 responses on them, so now I only put up my own posts when I am sad or discouraged or depressed. Yes, I have an excuse for everything, and I mean everything because I am always on the defensive so that I will have an explanation for everything that people ask. Also no there is not a support group here, I live in a very small community in a very small town. I wish you people would realize how small my bones and joints are, I am 135lbs overweight for my height and bone size. My bones and joints are VERY small and VERY flexible (hyperextension). I cant move and the only thing the doctors say it is is my weight. I come back with the argument that there are people who are larger than me and yet they have no chronic pain problems. The explanation is that of my bones being small. Besides that, I do want to be a lawyer, but not a lawyer for the general public. I am going to be a big business administrative lawyer in hopes of moving into being a lobbyist in Washington DC.

Well, I have to go to school, I cant take a semester off because it is illegal. The way I look at the glass is it is half full if you pour liquid into in half way. It is half-empty if it was full and one was to drink half the liquid in the glass. I know, I know....I over analyze everything! I believe that the world is not simple, I believe it is very complex. Maybe that is why I am a pre-law major. I dont know. I just know that patience sucks, being fat sucks, comorbidities suck, and MEN SUCK TOO!!!LOL!!! I know real mature right? But its the truth.

The closest possible would be Houston and I cant drive that far by myself or in traffic. Mom and Dad work full-time jobs and they have used all the days they could on me already.

I have been fighting for everything that I have needed or wanted for 17 years, I had to fight for my life when I was born. Ironic though how many times I prayed to God to end it. I am tired of fighting, my body is litterally tired, I dont feel like doing anything. I will want to go do it, but I am so weak its hard to get out of bed in the morning, so I get up and goto the computer and work on history homework

Just exaclty where am I going to find a ching-chang-chong in deep east Texas that doesnt do nails? LOL! We don't have that here, and if we did I would be scared to go to them because things to come to this little podunk town lol. We dont have anything here.

See, you dont understand. I am not a positive person because I dont have anything really positive in my life. Yes, I admit (and already have admitted this a few posts ago) that it could be ALOT worse, but for my independant situation, I have it rough. Positivity is for positive people, I am a pessimist, nothing good happens to me I have no other reason not to be. I tried about 6 months ago to be positive, guess what happened? I was told that my knees cant be fixed with surgery, I was failing classes because I couldnt goto school, I was not allowed to make-up my work for school because I had missed too much school even though all of it was excused with doctor's notes, my specialist lied to me constantly, and my specialist also jipped my family out of about 1500 dollars in equipment that I did not even need.

Acupuncture, ow! lol. I dont think my insurance is going to cover that either,lol

It is Acid Reflux Disease. I am tired of being the exception to everything. I am always the exception to eveyr rule, I want to be able to do what most peole can do, I want to be able to walk up and down the mall without feeling like my body is going to fall apart, I want to be able to pick up my golf clubs again and play golf, I want to be able to go out of the house without a full medicine cabinet in my purse, I want to be able to not have to explain what is wrong with me all the time, I want to be able to dance, I want to be NORMAL. Anytime I have had the self-confidence to do anything I get shot down, every single time. I go with what works. If I know something has to happen, then it doesnt even if it just had to.

I do not eat a lot of meat because it makes me feel bogged down, tired, and sick. I do not eat a lot of dairy because I dont like it either. The only time I get dairy is when I take my medicine at night, I drink a shotglass of milk to get the pills down. Beans also make me SOOOO sick, they come straight back up with my acid reflux disease. There is a whole lot that I can't eat, it is my option to not taking any extra medications like prilosec. I already take like 5 or 6 pills before bed every night, I don't want to add to that, plus I have done fine on this little diet as far as not being sick to my stomach and throwing up embarassingly in front of everyone I know. Although I will eat some meat, it has to be baked or grilled chicken, I can eat the occasional small hamburger, I do not eat pork at all it makes me incredibly sick to my stomach. Plus, I do believe that a bigger person with the same qualifications of a thin person will not succeed as well as the bigger person. I have studies that prove it too.

I do agree with that. The kids that are younger than me today are really BAD kids, atleast in my school district. I dont know what happened to make them different than us. Yes, we have some bad kids that are my age, but they never woul dhave dreamed of doing the things these kids are doing now. I think parents around here are not involved in their kids lives enough, then when they get what is coming to them (usually one good hit) then the parents want to through a fit. Priorities are wrong. I NEVER had to use a clear backpack or go through metal detectors to get into school or worry about being hurt in school except for emotionally. Today's parents, in my small crazy town, are crazy as well hell lol, they have double-standards for their kids and they also have very little respect for them at the same time. hmmmmmmmm....... Well this is about discrimination, I have made it through, although I do see a psychiatrist every 2 weeks (and probably need to go more than that).

Yes, I think I may have saw part of that report. It's great that other people are realizing that its real

lol I am a freshman in college, half my college will be done by the time I get to a 4-year university. I do not know where to get protein from, I have figured out that I eat plenty or I wouldnt be as big as I am. No, my life isnt worse than everyone else's that is not how a pessimist looks upon things. A pessimist looks at things like nothing will work out for anyone, especially them. Not necessarily that they have the worst life in the world (thats severe depression), but that if something bad is possible, then it will happen to them. Also, I believe in not being over-confident because you will get struck down. Its not a depressed state it is a political state (yes it really is). Also, everything that is wrong in my life is contributed by my weight. I would have higher grades if I wasnt big (partially because I could goto school more), I would have more friends (because I wouldnt be bitter toward the skinny people when they talk about other fat people or because they can shop in these stores and I cant or because they make rude comments about my weight), I would be more active (because I could actually move, plus face a lot less discrimination), I wouldnt have to spend ALL this money (because there wouldnt be as many Dr.'s Bills). I dont know, I just think that my weight has ruined my life on so many levels including emotionally and socially. Yes, I would have had some problem if I wasnt obese like a big nose, or ears, or big feet or something else that would be wrong and I understand that. Thinness isnt everything, yet it is the social key to American soceity, education, and business.

more Protein?? from what? Also CFS is a comorbidy because it can not be solved unless I lose weight. To get rid of CFS you have to be able to move around and take shots, I cant even take the shots because the tissue it is injected in is soooo sensitive because of the high amount of nerves in it. Also, I became depressed because of my weight (I have been depressed since I was about 6). All my knee problems would not be problems if not for my weight. I have went about the appeal process correctly, I know this because I had help with an actual lawyer and I used my pre-law pass online to get laws and insurance policy information from websites devoted to law students. I am at my wit's edge. I don't have great or good days, I have okay days because a day doesnt go by that I am not discriminated against, messed with, penalized, or in pain because the insurance company would not cover me. The exclusion in the company policy is borderline illegal (not quite, it is legal) because it discriminates upon people who are obese, and that discrimination was made illegal within the last 3 years. Not to mention the fact that I have the WORST luck in the world, and I am a pessimist becauseof this. Anytime I just know something is going to happen, it doesnt. Even if I cant help but hope, it doesnt go through. But if I retain my position that its not going to happen, then maybe it will. This is how my life goes. No, being thin is not a solution to my problems, it is a relief factor because the weight has done the damage that can not be fixed even through surgery. P.S. Thanks for editing the letter for me, I was in a rush doing college homework, but Mom's SSN# wasnt on the top of it lol, but that information needed to be removed anyway

Im trying, I just wish for once I was "normal" I am tired of being different, I have always been different, for once I want to blend into the trendy teen scene. I dont know what God has up his sleeves for me, but is scares me sometimes because for the past 17 years he has put me through the hoops. I dont know, I get inspired to do different things, then realize that they are not right for me to do either. I am however looking at taking a computer job for Fastweb.com a scholarship resource in return they pay me a scholarship. The job is blogging about your daily life twice a week, I think it would be a great way of journaling, I just hope they will hire me. If they dont they dont know what they are missing out on because my Psychiatrist thinks I ought to write a book. I have also come to realize that this is gonna be a hard year, my g-pa died my sophomore year and this is my senior year, and he always asked me what I was going to do my senior year, if I wanted a new car, if I wanted to go on a trip, where I was going to school, and so on. I miss him so much, and he is going to miss it all physically, I dont know I just feel like I am falling apart and having to pick up the pieces, its been a hard summer knowing I am going to have to go back to school in August and that he is not going to be there to see everything not to mention the fact that my grandmother is trying to kill herself, she is always high on medicines and runs over ppl in town and tries to OD, I dont know, I really dont want another grandparent missing. I am having a hard time today with all this.

Well right now I have to take adepex (phentermine) for appetite suppressent. I have never eaten a whole lot, just a little of everything that is bad for you lol. I take so much medication that I dont eat right now, what if the band doesnt work? I will be eating even less than now I know, but I am worried, I wasnt worried 4 months ago before the insurance denied me. Now I am scared that it wont work, I do not eat a lot, today I ate a low-fat peach popsicle (all natural fruit), a single serving of red cabbage, and a hand full of crackers. For supper I will barely eat, I dont get it, even when I am not on my meds I am not hungry?????? How did I get this big??

I cant keep a journal, I cant write that much, I cant even type that much my hands hurt too badly, so if I want to do a long post I type it little bits at a time and copy and paste it on here. See, I am helpless, I feel like a vegetable except for the fact I could have prevented this from happening, I could have stayed on a diet, I could have exercised when I was younger. I feel so horrible, I feel like I am slowly killing myself. They originally thought that I had lupus, but I didnt, I am sorry though that you do and I will keep you in my prayers.

Well I have several conditions other than being obese, that is why I am having the surgery. Mom calls the insurance company like every other day, and they keep saying they need more time. I have 3 doctors referrels with the letter and a list of references that they can contact to validate information. Acid reflux disease, temperomandibular jaw disorder (TMJ), chronic pain, sleep apnea, panic disorder, chronic fatigue syndrome, kydney conditions, hyperextension, patella alta, patella tendonitis and depression. Below is a copy of my Appeal letter: Dear UnitedHealtthcare Appeals, <O:p></O:p> This letter is in regards to your recent denial to provide coverage concerning my request for morbid obesity surgery in the form of gastric banding. <O:p></O:p> On March 22, 2005 I visited the office of Dr. Ronald Lindsey in the matter of chronic severe knee and body pain. His diagnosis was that I had very small bones and joints for my weight (235 lbs) and that the cause for the smaller bones and joints was that I have a disposition of hyper-extension within my joints. According to Taber’s Medical Encyclopedia hyper-extension is the extreme ability to stretch out and/or abnormal extension. The significant amount of weight on these already flexible joints can be compared to placing a brick on top of a toothpick, the excessive amount of weight on my limbs (as ruled by Dr. Lindsey) will take its course someday. Dr. Lindsey’s prognosis was that unless I lost a great amount of weight in a short amount of time, that my knees would suffer substantial permanent damage. In lou of his prognosis he suggested bariatric banding surgery in order to lose the weight. <O:p></O:p> In response to Dr. Lindsey’s suggestion, I called and made an appointment with Dr. Felix Spiegel, a bariatric surgeon within the <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 /><st1:City w:st="on">Beaumont</st1:City> area of <ST1:place w:st="on"><st1:State w:st="on">Texas</st1:State></ST1:place>. Dr. Spiegel determined, based upon his professional experience and training, that weight loss via his surgery would indeed help my knees, since my BMI is 41 (normal is about 24, as determined by the World Health Organization), and will also significantly decrease my chances of developing other comorbid conditions, and would rid me of the ones that are already present such as acid reflux disease, temperomandibular jaw disorder (TMJ), chronic pain, sleep apnea, panic disorder, chronic fatigue syndrome, and depression. It has also come to my attention that although you stated in your denial letter that the GTECH Corporation’s benefit plan does not cover surgical and non-surgical treatment of obesity, your company (UnitedHealthcare) covered the costs associated with Dr. Spiegel’s consultation ($250), with me only paying a copay of $40. This discovery is contradictory to the policy exclusion, why would one choose to spend the money on a consultation of a patient by a doctor who specializes in a program that is not covered under the company policy? Why spend the extra money? <O:p></O:p> From the year 2002 to the present (Summer 2005), GTECH Corporation’s benefit plan through Cigna and UnitedHealthcare has spent approximately $9,716.89 on my medical costs alone. Every year my medical costs almost double due to knee pain which has been determined by medical professionals to be a direct cause for the chronic pain and inflammation that constantly plague my knees. Now that we have finally come to our last resort, surgery, the same pain is becoming more prevalent throughout all my joints, including my hands, elbows, wrists, feet, and lower back. With the pain spreading, it is projected that my medical costs will possibly triple by January 2006. A breakdown in costs reveals that my policy spent atleast $242.58 on orthopedic consultation and physical therapy in 2002. From 2003-2004 UHC has spent an estimated $4,931.79 on medical costs associated with obesity comorbidities. Just this year, 2005, UHC has spent an estimated total of $2,238.18 as of May 2005, that is not even half of the year and UHC has spent about half of the previous year’s expenses. If you were to add it all together, by the time I would no longer be carried by GTECH’s policy UHC will have spent over $35,000 or more in health care costs for me (Jodie Warner) only. Hypothetically, if UHC was to pay for the complete costs of the surgery, UHC would only total about $27,000. These figures do not even include the very real possibility of knee surgery resulting from damage to my knees caused by morbid obesity. <O:p></O:p> Morbid obesity as a disease, not as outward appearance, has truly taken over my life. I can neither stand nor sit for too long of periods, walk very far, or even drive my car most of the time. Morbid obesity is controlling my life, and simple diet and exercise can not fix the problem because it is impossible to exercise because of the crippling pain in my knees (and now throughout my body). Also, because of the pain I have had to unenroll from public school and am forced into a homebound program. In this program I have had to be placed within my school district as special education, although I am extremely intelligent and am in no way mentally retarded or paralyzed. My knee pain, as a result of morbid obesity has caused me to miss an estimated 50 school days per year, which takes a dramatic toll on my grades. Before I had knee pain I was an “A” student and in the top 10% of my class, now I make grades all over the chart and have stepped down into the first quartile of my class. Obesity will only worsen my condition, and could very possibly send me to an early death. Under Supreme Court ruling concerning morbid obesity, it has been determined that obesity and especially morbid obesity is a disease and a disability under the American Disability Act. As an obese, female teenager, I feel as though I am being discriminated against by GTECH’s policy because I am obese and I am experiencing unmentionable pain (like elephants standing on my knees all day). This surgery, gastric banding, is not for cosmetic purposes, if I want to look pretty I put on make-up, it is to save my future ability to walk. I believe people are beautiful no matter what their pant size is, but when the pants are not the right size, then they cause problems. This is what is happening to me, my weight is causing my body to be in severe and damaging pain. I have an extremely small frame that refuses to bear the burden of my weight any longer. If this issue is not addressed in a very timely and serious manner, my knees may collapse and cause serious and permanent injuries. <O:p></O:p> *If you would like to validate any of this information, I have provided the contact information on the following page* <O:p></O:p> Sincerely Jodie Warner <O:p></O:p> <ST1:p

I have terrible knee pain also, I cant even walk around my school so I am home-bound, and cant go do fun stuff, so I am HAVING Lap-Band to get the weight off of my knees. I have patella-alta, chronic inflammation, loose patella, and hyperextension and losing weight will help me because my knees are very unstable, so if I lose weight then I can exercise and strengthen them, but I cant exercise at all right now because I am too heavy to be on them (since they are incredibly small bones and joints). After I lose the weight, they are going to go through and check again to see if I actually have a disease or something in there. Just hang in there and be thankful you have had the surgery, my insurance company is claiming that it is cosmetic and unnecessary. Give it time. Your knees are still used to the weight being on them, its kinda like when you hold a heavy box for a while, then sit it down, and your arms still ache because they were getting used to the weight and still havent registered that it is gone. Trust me, youve got to feel better after you lose atleast three-fourths of your goal. Goodluck, oh yea, when they hurt try to slowly work them like bending and stuff to see if they will pop, sometimes that helps mine, sometimes it makes them worse.

I know, I am a firm believer in everything happens for a reason. And my impatiance goes against this, but I feel like I am dying, I really do. Everyday my body hurts more, my knees are stiffer, my hands are more cramped, and I am SOOOO tired all the time. I just know that everyone that was in that office with me today has gotten their bands, and it seems like everyone but me is getting it (those who want it). I just dont understand why I have all the bad luck and stupid luck.

I am not worried about the teasing, I have dealt with it from the same people all my life, and it never changes, its the fact I cant get around school, I cant sit in the desks for very long or I get stiff, if I stand or walk to long then my knees get too wobbly. I cant write very much with a pen or pencil (about a paragraph) because my hands hurt too bad. I cant do a lot that has to do with school. I cant do any exercises because my whole body is like my knees, too small and limber for the amount of weight on them. I have lost 14lbs because I take prescribed amphetemines because if I gain ANY weight over 240 there is a 10% increase every 5lbs or so that my knees WILL collapse. I just want to be able to go shopping, and actually be able to walk into the store instead of having to sit and rest ALL the TIME. I want to be able to go to college confident that I can do whatever the other kids are doing. I am tired of staying home every night! I just am physically unable to do much of anything. The insurance has everything they need I assure you, and then some. I am a pre-law student and wrote a 3-page letter entailing details of my conditions and doctors referrals and visits

Im just ready to get out of this HOUSE!! and be able to enjoy it, if the insurance does come back with something, anything (yes or no, preferably a yes) I am going to turn into an agoraphobic, I havent seen a crowd and not cried because they were stepping on my and pushing me in 6 or 7 years. I cant wait until I can push them back, rude SOBS. I just dont understand, dont they know I need an education, I am not even in school right now

Im glad u all can dance, I can't even do that. Why is it that when I NEED something it just doesnt happen?? I feel worse everyday like my knees are going to just bust

I am so sick and tired of saying, "Well I'm getting a Lap-Band soon." It is getting so old. If I wanted it to look cute it would be different, I just want to walk and go to school and make friends. I only have one friend left because of my handicaps. I just want a life, I am tired of living the way I do, I want to go out and do stuff, but I can't, and its getting old quick. I feel like every evil force is working against me. Everyday I get on here and someone else is getting approved, why can't I post that?? What am I gonna do? I cant get the surgery till after school starts, I am such a loser.