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Your diet can be hard after weight loss surgery. You have to give up most junk food and monitor every bite that goes in your mouth. Although many patients have smaller appetites and fill up faster on less food, you can still struggle to make the dietary changes. You can be tempted to slip up, especially when food is around. And that is can be problem with family.
Family food dynamics before surgery might have been a lot easier. You ate the same food, went out together, and did not think much about which foods came into the house. After surgery, you have no choice but to restrict your diet. That is why family diet dynamics change after weight loss surgery.
Food Can Strain Your Family Dynamics
You can have the most loving family in the world, but they may not be your best dieting buddies. They may still want to buy their favorite foods, store them at home, and eat them when they want – even if it means eating them in front of you. These are some of the risks.
Caving in to these off-limit foods – and derailing your weight loss.
Becoming angry at your loved one(s) – and letting food hurt your relationship.
Banning all non-WLS foods from your home – and causing your loved one to be resentful.

How can you avoid these losing situations?
Everyone Needs to Compromise
The answer is compromise. You just went through a life-changing surgery because you struggled with obesity – and food – for years. You are on a strict diet, and cannot afford to have your hard work undone because your family continues to tempt you with high-calorie food. On the other hand, members of your family may feel that they have the right to eat whatever they want, whenever and wherever they want.
You can all compromise and come up with some new household rules. The following suggestions might work for your household, or you can come up with the rules that are best for your situation.
Family members are permitted to eat fast food meals inside the house, but cannot store leftovers.
Family members can keep certain wrapped Snacks at home only if they keep them hidden from you and eat them outside the house, such as at school or work.
Everyone must wrap up and put away leftover foods so that you are not tempted to grab them
Everyone must respect your need to have your kitchen scale, measuring cups and spoons, and storage containers handy and available, not shoved deep into a back closet.

Family Members of All Ages Contribute to the Diet Dynamics
Your weight loss surgery affects everyone in your household in a different way, and everyone from young children to teenagers to your spouse contributes to the household’s diet dynamics. Modify your approach to be appropriate for each family member.
Young children – They do not necessarily understand your weight loss surgery or the reasons behind it, and they are unlikely to fully understand why the household’s diet is changing. Luckily, young children are likely to eat what you offer. Offer them the same healthy foods – lean Proteins, fruits, vegetables, and nutritious starches – that you make for yourself, and you may be surprised how well they accept them, especially when you are cheerful and positive about it. In addition to serving healthy foods at home and in sack lunches, you can pack a treat for lunch so that they can enjoy it and you are not tempted to eat it.
Teenagers – Teenagers want to be independent. On principle, many of them automatically seem to reject anything that you do. The truth is, though, that they often just don’t want their friends to think that they’re different. If you have teenaged children, keep plenty of healthy snacks on hand and serve healthy foods at meal times. You may be surprised at just how often they choose to “sneak in” the healthy choice instead of opting for junk food! Don’t make a big deal out of it, or the teens will go right back to choosing junk foods. To further allow teens their sense of independence,
An important consideration with teenagers is that they may have their own weight concerns. They may already be overweight, or they may worry that they will one day struggle with their weight just like you did. That’s why it’s important now to allow them to develop healthy eating habits without putting pressure or rigid restrictions on them.
Spouse – You spouse is happiest when you are happy. You would do anything for your spouse. So why can weight loss surgery – which you went through to help you become healthier, happier, and a more capable person – lead to so much tension? Your spouse might not completely support your surgery, especially if he or she has never had a serious weight problem. Also, your spouse may be jealous of your resolve and new lifestyle.
On top of everything else, your spouse might be afraid that of losing the foods that he or she loves, either because you won’t allow them or because he or she eventually will need to accept and confront his or her own weight problem.
You need to have serious discussions of all of these issues and come to an agreement, just like you do in all other parts of your relationship. Let your spouse know that you aren’t changing as a person, but that you are becoming healthier. Let your spouse know that becoming thinner and more energetic will only deepen your love. And, discuss the food. Is your spouse willing to eat what you eat? Are there some treats that your spouse can eat in front of you that you are confident that you will not eat?
Family Meals Post-Weight Loss Surgery
You can have pleasant, healthy family meals even after weight loss surgery. One way is to prepare and eat your own food, while serving the rest of your family what they normally eat. You can all eat together. Even though you are eating less, you will take as long to eat as they will because you need to focus on chewing thoroughly and eating slowly. These are some other suggestions for family meals.
If you’re the one who makes the meals, you don’t have to make two every night. Once a week, cook your own food and refrigerate or freeze single-serving portions. Eat those at family meals, and cook for your family as usual.
Have a salad bar or other serve-yourself-style meal, such as a burger bar or Pasta bar. Include WLS-friendly options as well as everyone’s favorites. Everyone can choose what they want to eat. For example, at a pasta bar, you serve yourself spaghetti squash, grilled chicken, Tomato sauce, and salad, while others might choose spaghetti, meat sauce, and breadsticks.
Have a family treat night – can you decide that for one night, they can order in or eat junk, and you will stick to your diet? You might even be able to schedule your family’s treat night on an evening when you work late or you go out with friends so you don’t have to be around the tempting foods.
Make something that’s healthy for everyone, and just serve yourself a little less or skip the starch. You have learned to love lean proteins and veggies, and your family can, too.

Weight loss surgery changes a lot, from your body and mind to everything else in your life. Family diet dynamics are no different. With all of the other stress surrounding your new lifestyle, the environment surrounding food in your household can become tenser. With some understanding, communication, and compromise, you can keep everyone happy as you stay on track with your weight loss…and your family just might become healthier in the end!

Hi there I feel like you madband. I was banded on Dec 19.. I want more but I'm realizing I need to do more. As I've been told on here take the time to heal we are still early in the game..it will get better. I'm praying for that. You will do fine.its hard but I'm willing to stay the course and you should too. It took a lot to get this done so I hope u stay encouraged and put up the giid fight I know I'm planning on winning. Have a great day.

I was allowed to do cardiac exercise only for the 1st 6 weeks. So, all surgeon's are different. Check with yours! Karen..aka.kll724

I had a appointment with my surgeon exactly 1 week after my surgeon, for him to check my incisions, etc....it was then, 1 week after surgery, he cleared me to go back to the gym, soak in the tub, swim, anything I wanted to do...only to be careful of heavy lifting...only light to mild...

Soft aerobic workouts should be no problem. Treadmill, elliptical on low settings should be fine. Just no lifting, bending or stressing the abs for a few more weeks?

If I understand you correctly, your weight loss has been very slow over the last 2 years, and then stalled out altogether, and you feel you need to eat more to loose more weight, to the point you will have Fluid taken out of your band, so you can eat more, to achieve your weight loss...
I know what you mean about stalling...I have been within the same 5 lb range for 2 years now....I had/have developed a new lifestyle, new habits with eating differently....something I will carry on with for the rest of my life....with that new lifestyle, my body steadily lost weight - FAT, until there was nothing left to loose, in the way of excess body fat...and I have now leveled out at a good place...cannot loose, or gain any more, other that that normal daily fluctuation always within the same 5 lbs...
But back to your question.....I am very active...run 5 miles a day, plus weights, etc....I did so to burn calories (and to get healthy)...to use my stored fat as my energy source...I always exercised on a empty stomach, very first thing in the morning....(google it)...and was very careful so as not to replace what I just managed to burn off...so only a low cal high Protein "Recovery" shake..
I'm one of those "Old School" people who believe I have to burn more calories per day than I consume per day in order for the body to be forced to use my fat stores for energy...
If I were to eat more, then I would need to exercise more to compensate....thus the old school expression..."I'm need to take a walk to work off that very nice meal"
This is VERY UNSCIENTIFIC, but I used to watch movies where they show Prisoners of War, just skin and bones, and very sickly...and I would wonder what they would look like if their captors gave them all the daily Protein and Water they needed???

I agree, the little bugger does have a mind of its own!

Yep....it's up and down, day to day...even hour to hour sometimes.......just go with it....
Went to dinner last night, did not feel like eating anything....brought it all home and will heat it up later...

Hi December banders!! I was banded dec 19. Im just went back to work and seem to be healing pretty well. I have not had my first fill- scheduled-jan 28. Cant wait

I have had my Flex since August and I love it! About a couple of months ago I was getting a little skin irritation and switched wrists. I also stopped wearing when I showered and that helped. I have since switched back to my left wrist (non-dominate) and no longer have skin irritation. So I believe that moisture was the problem even though you are able to get the band wet. My daughter and I got ours at the same time, she took the small bands and I the large. But now I am ready to switch to the small so I am going to order some in different colors to change up the look occasionally

Evening everyone. Hope you are all well. Just an update for you. I had my surgery at 9am today. I'm back in my room, have been since about 1pm, just keep nodding off!! Op went well, I have a 14 ml band which the surgeon put 3 ml in. I had a rough wake up/recovery so stayed in recovery a long time. I've had a fair bit of morphine through the day. Got hellish wind pain in my shoulder, I've had so much pain relief and peppermint tea as well as gripe Water. It's just not shifting. Can't stop burping so that must be helping. Lol. I have 6 incisions two bandaged the others are glued. I'm having pain on my left side when I breathe deeply, think that's where my port is. Managed to drink some Water, only tiny sips though as I can feel that it's tight. Had a small cup of tea too so starting to feel more human. All in all its not so bad. I'm enjoying being able to sleep and rest for a while. I don't get to do this with a toddler and a baby. I've heard from my partner and he's doing great with the girls. It's it's first time having them on his own! Lol. He's a fab dad so I knew he'd be ok. It's now 2am and I've had my morphine topped up. I highly doubt I will be able to sleep thorough the pain. I'm so thrilled to be banded, drinking takes a long time as I get so full very quickly. Have to say the staff here are fabulous and helping me all they can. Anyway I'm rambling, still drug drunk I think. Xx

Lately I have been hearing the phrase that WLS is personalized to each individual, and I could not agree more....
It's "Personalized" because the band is adjustable....my band is not like your band as is the other person's band...
If I never had a fill, or when I was just starting out, I could eat and drink anything as though I did not even have the surgery...it was all about will power and classic dieting...
As my band got adjusted, things began to change, and become unique TO ME, and NO ONE ELSE....what other people experience is unique to themselves and no one one else....sure there are some common things....
People need to realize that there is no concrete answer to questions such as drinking with meals, eating rice, breads, etc...experiencing hunger/cravings, and portion control....because everyone's band is different from everyone else s...
That's why when someone asks a question, you are going to get 100 different answers....
I read posts, and see the person was banded within a month or so, even within a year sometimes, and I will avoid giving my response because it is night and day.....where I am at, and what my band does is no where near what the new person is experiencing, and things I may say, well I might as well be talking about visiting Mars or something....will not make much sense....and only confuse many people....
Only things I can say sometimes is "Yes, I've been there and yes, it does pass, it does get better...things do progress"
And the only thing we have in common is that we all have to follow our Dr.'s treatment plan, and not what someone we never met on the internet tells us to do....and even our Dr.'s advice will differ from one another's...is one Dr right and the other wrong?
My only pet peeve, after saying all the above...is when people come on here and say "THIS is the ONLY way"..."It's my way or no way" Do it THIS WAY or you will be sorry!!!
How can people say that? It may be true FOR THEM.....and that is good! Share your experiences....that's what it's all about,,,,,But sometimes people will make a definitive statement about something that can never happen or will not happen, and I'm sitting here scratching me head thinking I have personally experienced the exact opposite....???
Someone may post here stating that the way they became successful was by standing on their heads for 30 minutes after every meal....may even provide a You-Tube from some Yoga instructor, etc....refer to a book or 2....
I have no problem with this person sharing their experiences, I find it informative, and perhaps entertaining., and enjoy reading everyone's different ways they have found happiness and success.......I may even try it myself and see for myself the results..or I may not....
BUT
As soon as this person comes on here and starts telling everyone THIS is what you MUST do if you want to be successful, or else you are asking for certain doom...medical problems.....
Saying To loose weight and be successful...YOU MUST stand on your head for 30 minutes after every meal, OR ELSE!!! It Is the ONLY WAY!
Now I have a problem....I lost my weight and never stood on my head....yet this person is telling everyone this is what you HAVE to to, this is the ONLY way it works....
There are are a lot of new people here looking for guidance...and they're being told they must stand on their heads for 30 minutes after every meal?
I cannot let this go by unchallenged....
Ok, my so much for my coffee induced morning rant...off to the gym....Hey IT'S FRIDAY!!!!

I will figure out how to add friends on my fitbit - I just got it on Saturday & I really like it - my only little problem is that I have an iPhone 4 and I can't sync it with my phone, but I just bring that little dongle-thingy with me to work and i bypass with the computer - it's making be get off my bum! I would love to have friends to help support each other!!

I would love to connect on fitbit I just need to figure out how and to determine what my email address is. Hopefully this will motivate me to excercise more.

There is an official fitbit thread right here on this forum. It is in the sticky section: http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/191404-official-fitbit-thread/

I called the insurance company and...I got approved!!! I'm like a kid on Christmas day. I'm waiting for the scheduler to call me. So very anxious!!

Welp, I gained the weight and I weighed in today. My BMI is at 40.5. Now I am waiting to hear from the insurance company. It is sad that people have to "play the game" to get approved. I'm excited to finally get the go ahead. This process has taken way too long. Thank you for all of your replies!

I now use a small container like those frozen individual dessert pies come in. Yes I ate the pie, yes I know I shouldn't have but it was was a couple of months ago and haven't eaten sweets since. Upside:I got a 1 cup serving Bowl out of it lol. Anyway I use that and I put my Protein (small cut pieces) in first and if there is room I add veggies. I have cut out starches, breads and sugars. I am a reformed bandster just recently taking back control. For a while there I went crazy with eating anything in small portions burgers, pizza, fried chicken...what's the point? those were my addictions and believe me... a little was never enough. So now I just stay away from them all together. It's hard but the best thing to do is stay away from your addictions. ..Bcz eventually a little isn't going to be enough. I have had my band 5 years and 3 of those were spent cheating myself back to fat. Whatever method you use, choose to do it right.

Wow, glad that the doctor was able to repair what was needed and put a new band in for you. Take it easy as you recover from surgery and get back on your feet again.

I finally finished all my doctor appointments. I am waiting for surgery date now. I hope to have the date within the next few days.
I will be getting lap band with plication with Dr. Geiss in Syosset, NY.
Weighing in at 322 now.

OK I don't want to be the one to start a panic. You need to call the Dr. now! The reason I stress some urgency is because you just had surgery and with this type of surgery blood clots especially in the legs can be a concern.
As well as the fact that you are drinking Water with electrolytes that could put your cardiac rhythm and blood flow out of wack.
It could also be nothing and you are simply dehydrated but PLEASE CALL YOUR DOCTOR AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. We are not doctors here and can not possibly diagnose this issue.

We need to know a lot more about you and your band experience to give you helpful responses.
How long has this stand still lasted?
What is your fill history?
How big is your band and how much fill do you have in it?
Do you have any eating problems?
Are you eating mostly solid foods?
Do you feel you're making good food choices?
How are your portion sizes?
How long after a meal or snack do you get physically hungry?
Are you eating out of boredom, stress, or other cues unrelated to physical hunger?
Have you discussed your concerns with your bariatric surgeon and/or dietitian?
Do you have any medical conditions, or take any medications, that could affect your weight?
Do you exercise on a regular basis?
Jean

Thanks so much for all your advice. The cough is getting better as the day goes on, and I'm hoping that it's gone by tomorrow. But I will call the doctors office in the morning just to check and make sure.

I bought myself a digital scale and I have been trying to measure everything. It has been very helpful since I now see that I had been eating more than I thought. This also helps when I record my food on the Fitbit website. Every person is different and your doctor/nutritionist will tell you how many calories you should be eating. My nutritionist called me a few days ago to check on me and I asked her how much I should be eating in a day. I am to stay between 800 and 1000 calories a day and 60-80 grams of Protein. So measure and weigh all your food so you know exactly how much you are eating.

EEEWWW...but very good visual!
I agree, I would like to be lean NOT lumpy....LOL