DivaStyleCoach

PTJP... I did a kick-butt walk at work yesterday (added a big hill and some additional distance) and loved it! I bought new pants in a smaller size and I'm loving that too! Appt with my band doc today - I think I've lost the pounds I gained before my last appointment plus a little more. We'll see what his scale says. I don't think I need more fill, I just need to work what I've got! SMS - I would give the ring back. Even if he says it doesn't mean anything (relationship-wise) it's not the type of gift you give someone that you're NOT getting serious about / want to be serious with. Especially since he's not a teenager - jewelry means something different to different age groups. I know for my group (mid-40's) it would mean some type of commitment. Maybe he's putting out feelers to see if you would be interested in something more defined than a work friendship?

Carrie - I hope all works out well for you and your hubby. Perhaps the few days apart will help both of you clear your heads and then you'll be able to get on the same page with this. Barneygirl - I felt much the same way as you...I guess I had to take a step back (for my relationship's sake) and examine if I was willing to throw away a 90% good relationship for the sake of the other 10% (his online activities and deception about it). He is not deceptive about anything else in our lives - that I know of - and I'm a pretty good snoop. He's a good provider (financially), he treats me well (and lord knows I have MY faults), and he's a wonderful father. We have a good life together and after much thought, soul-searching and even some tears, I decided I was willing to fight for the good in our relationship and try to get past this issue. After all these years, and having been through a prior bad relationship, I truly feel I've found the one for me. We are compatible in nearly every other area of our lives, and we find room for compromise in the areas where we are not exactly alike. We have raised good children (the last one is getting ready to go off to college) and we didn't wait until she left to start building new ground in our relationship. I think he was "expecting" that I wouldn't understand, so he hid his activities. He didn't want to hurt my feelings, so he deceived me. Since our last serious blow-up about this, he's been much more open about sharing his interests, and now we look at magazines, sites, movies, etc together. We don't necessarily like the same things, but he's found out some new things about his wife, and me about my husband. We have experimented together and found some new activities we can enjoy together. I think that putting down hard-and-fast, its-my-way-or-else ultimatums cuts out the possibility for compromise. For some that might be the only way - for me, it was not. I have an over 30-year history with this man, and he occupies a big space in my heart. I wasn't willing to give that up without a fight. That said, if any of his online flirtations had become physical, where he met the person or heaven forbid had sexual contact with them, then that's a different story...I am trying to make sure I never have to deal with that. In the end, however, you have to do what works for YOU. The solution I found may not be the right answer for everyone...

And so is your response above...turn the other cheek and keep it moving - I mean really! Don't make this an anti-christian thing...that is totally NOT what this is. Every time someone chooses to criticize Octopussy, you run to her defense - given that position, I think any reasonable person would expect that taking such an unpopular point of view would result in rancor being thrown back. Whatever Octopussy's situation, unfortunately there are people out there who will continue to support her. Unfortunately, the new babies and her previous children are the ones who will suffer. God will NEVER bless that - she obviously decided SHE needed more children (whatever her twisted reason) and in a perfect world, she would have to bear the fruits of her bad decisions. She is refusing to take responsibility for her actions and instead depending on the "kindness of strangers" to make her way in the world. She's a leech - pure and simple. She will go out and spend money on expensive makeup like MAC (what's wrong with the products available at the drugstore) and then turn around and accept expensive nursing help from the Angel Network that SOMEONE ELSE is paying for!:lunch:

You just tryin' ta start somethin' ain't ya? :lunch:

ROFLMBAO...:lunch::w00t::wub:

Mornin' Warriors! Had a wonderful weekend - the weather was soooo nice in CT that I took some long walks with DDog. We didn't break any speed records, but I did push it hard enough that I had a little leg soreness afterward. Still loving the rowing machine - last night's numbers were 4280m rowed in 30:06, with a 3:30 split for 500m. I did change the machine - there's a cover on the wheel which I did leave closed initially, but opened last night. My DH said that keeping the cover closed made the rowing easier, so now that I'm about 3 weeks into it, I decided to open the cover. I did notice less "airflow" around the wheel, and that when I'm rebounding for another pull, the wheel doesn't "coast" as much as before. I think that means that I'm going to be working harder to get the same numbers as before - and that's a good thing! Have a great afternoon, all!:lunch:

We can't have THAT now...work is for accessing FB and LBT 'cause they have better internet speed than at my house...:lunch:

Maybe they can get Octopussy to get some financial counseling while she's out buying makeup at MAC... I don't buy makeup at MAC and I work and support my OWN children! :lunch: It just amazes me that she seems to have no sense of propriety...when will the student loan company, the IRS and the rest of the people sending her tons of money to lavish on HERSELF wake up? I agree that the babies need help and I hope the donations to HER dry up and go away forthwith. The ONLY money that should be sent in that direction should be earmarked for the babies, and NOT for her! She is just ignorant - borderline mentally ill, a bad planner and I have NO hope that she will be a good mother...she already sets a bad example and will continue to do so because she not TRYING to get any better. :w00t:

PJTP... I HATED not being able to get into LBT ALL DAY YESTERDAY :lunch::cursing: Okay, rant over! :w00t: I missed y'all!:wub:

Hi Bek, What you are experiencing is pretty normal in my understanding - I was banded in mid-November. I didn't eat much the first couple of weeks. I followed my post-op eating recommendations and did nothing but liquids. You have been through major surgery - true, there are no major big incisions, but this is a big change, and you MUST give your body a chance to heal. Please review your doc's post-op instructions and by all means call them if you are really worried / concerned, but what you may be experiencing is Water weight loss. Be careful - I've read so many stories about people who didn't follow post-op instructions and had problems. Take care of yourself, and know that the initial fast weight loss WILL slow down as you move into the mushy stage and then back to solid food.

I just had to respond to this thread, and this message in particular... I've had this problem with my DH - and the challenge I have is that NONE of the pictures / sites he visited look like me! It's a very hurtful thing to know that your man (the one who promised himself to YOU) is getting off by looking at pictures of women who look nothing like you. It's also hurtful when, as the OP stated, he says he will STOP and then he doesn't. I've had the same situation - it went from just looking at photos online to memberships in online sites to chat rooms and emails passed between DH and other women to him giving them his cell phone number and work schedule so they could talk and I wouldn't find out. How did I find out? I check the cell phone bills - I look up any unfamiliar numbers. From there, it was not much of a stretch to find the sites - I googled his online "name" and found them all. We've had it out about this - not just once, but several times. Each time he apologizes, promises not to do it, but weeks or months later, I'll find evidence again. I told him if he didn't stop, he was going to alienate me and lose me. That woke him up - what if I was doing the same thing? Not just looking at other men, but ACTIVELY seeking them out for private chats and giving them MY cell phone number and work schedule so we could talk without HIM knowing? It's been a few weeks since our last conversation about this...if it stopped at just looking at pictures, I still wouldn't like it, but I'd feel better about THAT than the chat rooms and cell phone stuff. Make sure you lay out your feelings on this clearly and with no question. Ask him to repeat what you said if necessary so you are SURE that he gets it. Hold firm to what you say - any backtracking (which is what I did for a while) opens the door for repeated behavior. Why did / do I have a problem with this? When you CHOOSE to leave me in the bed alone so you can spend time chatting with OTHER WOMEN on the computer, I take it as a threat to an otherwise good relationship. I don't react any differently if someone comes up to my DH while we are out on the town...I nip that sh*t quick, fast and in a hurry. My .02 worth (though probably a LOT more than that!)

Slim, it has taken nearly 19 years of marriage and over 30 years we've known each other for him to get to this point... Good things are worth waiting for, and a good man is one that's TRAINABLE! :thumbup::thumbup::blushing:

Okay, I know you are my sister-from-another-mother, but is your DH my DH's brother-from-another-mother? He's the exact same way - always says he loves me (in a cute little sing-song voice "I love you baaaaack") and blows me kisses as well, and he's a hand-holder too! I feel so blessed, and I'm glad you found a good one, too, my sister!:thumbup: Added after posting: A belt that fits is a great addition to your bandster toolbox...I just had lunch, and not only is my band telling me I've eaten enough, the belt on my pants is agreeing!

PJTP... Slim - your DH is growing more "manly" in my eyes! :blushing: I'm glad he stood up to her, now we just gotta get him to kick BIL in the pants, and all will be well! :blushing: I'm really *loving* my DH today. :blushing:..last night we went out to a neighborhood place. They were supposed to have a 70's night, but it ended up not happening, so we had a couple of drinks (watered down diet coke for me, wine for him) and shot a round of pool. It was so nice to just be the two of us, out on a date! :thumbup: He wrote me a poem - he used to do this all the time when he was deployed with the Navy, but said a while back "But I see you everyday - you know how I feel" with that quizzical look only men have on his face. :thumbup: It was so sweet...I just had to share the last couple of lines with y'all: I don't care what the others are doing, I can only do my thing. I don't care why I'm special to you, You will always be special to me. He constantly tells me that he's "nothing special, just fair-to-middling" when I compliment him. Somewhere in his slightly twisted brain, he thinks that if he's not quite good enough, he'll keep striving to be his best so I'll stay. I guess I understand that logic (sort of) but any way he comes, I'll take him...:blushing:

Afternoon Warriors! Usual walking - morning with DD and DDog, got in a lunchtime walk yesterday. No walk at lunch today - Admissions Committee. Rowed last night - covered 4251m in 30:06, which is more distance *yay* but my split time was slower at 3:44. I think that means I'm getting stronger, but not necessarily faster. Since I've never been the fastest woman on the block, I'm not too upset, but maybe speed will come later as I continue to row.:thumbup:

Re: Parents at home with children Ideally, a parent would be able to stay home with the children while the other parent worked. In today's economy, however, that isn't always possible. My mom couldn't stay home with us - economic reality. I couldn't stay home with my first child, but I did for quite a while with my DD. It was wonderful at first, but I was one of those that needed the outside stimulus of a job. Probably because I did NOT have the stay-at-home mom. I don't see how she's going to be able to do it all - she cannot spend time with all of her children NOW, let alone when she tries to find a full-time job with benefits! Take 8 hours out of an already overstuffed day and she is just NOT going to be able to spend quality time each day with each child.

Oh dear...I will be including you on my prayer / good wishes / healing thoughts list, Green. I'm sorry to hear that...there's really nothing else I can say... :w00t::crying::thumbup:

gone4ever - that was the funniest thread ever! I've added my own contribution and will make sure to check that one often!:confused:

This thread is so awesome! You know you are a bandster when... Even your bras are getting smaller, but you refuse to buy new ones because you KNOW your size will change again in a few days / weeks... You haunt EBay for clothes because they are cheaper there... The letters PB give you shivers cause you know how AWFUL productive burping can be... Getting a fill doesn't involve a trip to the dentist... You wear a BodyBugg and it's not something you have to call the exterminator or a doctor for... You know the calorie count of every piece of fruit in the supermarket without checking a book, a website, or the tags on the bins... You can eat a sandwich made from those paper-thin slices of bread that you used to sneer at in the grocery store... When you ALWAYS water down your soda so the carbonation doesn't cause you problems if you drink it at all... When the smell of fried food that used to make you salivate now makes you nauseous... Gimme a few minutes, I'll find more! :confused:

TQuad and Kat - you are giving me an education! I guess I was technically a preemie - I was born 2 weeks in advance of my anticipated birth date, though I don't think anyone in the medical community in the early 1960's would have labeled me as such. My DD was a preemie - by a few weeks - she was born in early December, but wasn't expected until February. She does not have a LOT of health issues, but continues to fight winter weather (she catches cold very easily) and allergies (though not debilitating). I did not know, nor was I ever told about the lifetime care that preemies will need - though I do not put my DD in the same class with Octomom's babies. I think because she was 8 lbs 12 oz (they said she would have been 10 or more had she gone full term) that no one in the hospital considered her a preemie. I feel for those babies and will continue to keep them in my thoughts and prayers. I do know of other couples that have had premature babies, but did not know of the true ramifications. Thank you for the education - I am glad that there are knowledgable and rational folk on these boards who are willing to share their experience and expertise with those of us who are willing to admit we don't know everything. I really do not think Octomom knew what she was doing or what she was IN for...she does not seem to have a good grip on reality.:confused:

Beth - it's kinda scary how we think so much alike. To paraphrase Wendy Williams "you are a friend in my head". I think Ron (aka Brown Whiny Dad) needs to go home and I'm not sure why his team hasn't sent him home yet! :confused:

My parents were like that too...none of that "starving children in Africa would eat this" stuff, either. Either you ate what was cooked, or you didn't eat! I'm a little like that, I guess, but not as strict as my parents. I do allow the other two adults in my house to eat pretty much what they like (within reason) but if they make the mess, they have to clean it up! My family has been great about eating band-friendly food - in fact, we're all getting slimmer since I got my band since they eat healthier now. DH is down 15 pounds, and DD is down 10 or so...

Mornin' all! Had my session with the Bodybugg trainer last night and it was quite informative. She took me through all the features of the bugg and the web site and I learned a lot. She told me that a LOT of people underestimate their food intake by 25 - 50% - WOW! I can understand it though, cause I'm sure I did the same thing. One of the interesting things I learned was that my walking actually burns more calories than my rowing workout because when I walk, I'm supporting my entire body weight and that makes the calorie burn per minute higher. Of course, this assumes you are really striding along, not a gentle stroll. Based on the bugg results, I'm doing okay - not quite at the 2 lb per week calorie deficit that I wanted (deficit of 800 cal per day average instead of 1000 which is the goal) so I'm going to adjust my food intake to get me closer. I will not starve myself - that's just not going to work for me - and I may add in some additional exercise as the days get longer. I am thoroughly enjoying my bugg, and would recommend it to anyone who wants that kind of feedback. I'm sure there are other options (as mentioned in this thread) but for me the bugg is working fine. YMMV...

Checking in - Good Morning Warriors! Rowed late last night because I had my intro session for my Bodybugg. Interesting - there are all kinds of features I didn't know about and hadn't explored yet. The bugg definately makes you realize what you are and aren't doing! I am doing well with logging my food - most people (the trainer says) underestimate by 25 - 50% what they eat (calorie wise) - according to the bugg and what I've lost so far, I'm only underestimating by 5% or so. I'm going to get better - that's my commitment to me. I also was surprised that I burn more calories per minute walking than rowing. Trainer says it's because rowing doesn't force me to carry my own body weight, while walking does. I also walk pretty fast (now) so that helps as well. Last night's rowing session was 4150m in 30:06, with a split time on the 500m of 3:24. That's better than my previous time by nearly 10 seconds. I'll stay at that level (kicked my butt, it did) for a week or so and then try to either extend the distance or drop the split time even lower or both. I love the rower - it is always there waiting for me, and while I loved going to the gym, with my current schedule it's really hard, and I am glad I have an alternative. I'm really happy Spring is arriving, and I can walk outside more often!:confused:

Mornin' All, I'm glad the babies will be well taken care of...though I sincerely wish it wasn't HER that would also be benefitting. She will have all the time in the world to feed her delusions while someone ELSE takes care of the children SHE brought into this world with her selfish a**. I pray for the babies and her older children...as far as I'm concerned, she can take an express train straight to Hades... To paraphrase Wendy Williams "Ain't no good gonna come to you until you do right by those babies and your older children, get your lazy butt OFF the welfare rolls and act like you got some sense":cursing: