EEsMom

Im feeling pretty good actually, I sent this email to a friend yesterday describing how things have progressed so far:
"Feeling much better than I thought I would, though the first 2-3 days are tough because everything's so sore - getting in/out of bed & chairs can be painful but once I was up or down the pain went away pretty quickly. Lots of walking and sleeping in the beginning, and only allowed to have Clear liquids ( Water, sugar free Jello, broth, occasionally an ice pop ).
By day four I started feeling normal again, and 8 days removed I can honestly say I feel close to normal again. The sharp pangs every time I try to stand or twist in a funny way are all but gone, and my energy level is pretty good ( though I get easily tired if I push myself, and I definitely have become a fan of afternoon naps). I Still have to be careful and do everything SLOWLY - eat, move, shower, etc. - because I can hurt myself. I'm finally able to sleep in my bed, too - a little ahead of schedule for my surgeon's taste but I couldn't take the recliner anymore.
I'll be on liquids only for another couple of weeks, which is a diet of 4 Protein shakes and one other small meal (broth, or a yogurt, or pureed non-acidic soups) for an average of 660 calories & 70-80 grams of Protein a day. I can move on to soft foods after that for two weeks, then the normal stuff. I never thought I'd look so forward to being able to have a 1/4 lb. Cup of low fat tuna salad. But the biggest thing is EATING SLOWLY... If I even take too big a sip of Water my chest feels like its exploding. On Monday I accidentally swallowed a teaspoon of lemon-lime Jello without chewing first and it took me a half hour to recover.
Anyway, graphic details aside it really hasn't been as bad as it sounds and its not as much of a struggle as I had anticipated. It definitely helps to have someone for the first few days to help you around and be there just in case."
So that's where I stand.
As for my doctor, I went to the LIJ Bariatric Center in Syosset and my surgeon is Dr. Heather McMullen. Very nice, caring and available to talk when things come up. I'd highly recommend her. She's part of Dr. Geiss' team but she's the only one in the practice who performs the sleeve.

Curious to hear from everyone, at what point you realized SOMETHING has to be done... I was sitting at the edge of my bed one day not too long ago watching tv the had faded to black for just a few seconds---at that moment I saw my reflection for the first time in a very long time and it was as though someone hit me with a bat and I just thought to myself "what the hell has happened to me and when did I get this big"... I never realized that I dont look at myself in a mirror and havent for many years... Ive had several moments like this since then but this tha one that made me decide something had to be done or I wouldnt be around when my daughter if I continued.........
<3 brknhrtd8911 <3

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Hi everyone,
I am a newbie that was just approved for rny this past Thursday I am going to see the nurse practioner and patient advocate for surgery date tomorrow and all this is hitting me now! I did the 6 months nutritionist visits and I was already convinced that my insurance would deny me as I only lost about 6lbs during those 6 months. Now I'm cocerned about my thyroid delaying my surgery as I am hypothryoid and my levels have never been under control. Everytime I go to my pcp she says it's out of control and I am already at 300mcg synthroid! I am worried that even after surgery my thyroid will prevent me from losing the weight I want.
I'm assuming the visit with the nurse practioner would be to discuss the pre-ops? I already did blood work, the phys. evaluation, ugi and 6 months nutritionist, so I'm assuming more blood work? Cardio was not requested.
I'm also assuming the Dr. has a date of 2/26 because when I called AETNA to get status thats the date the Dr. had listed
I am so ready for this. I'm anxious, excited but at the same time nervous about surgery.

I'm still pre opp as well.....I am sorry that you are having such a rough time. I don't know what exactly you went through, but you need supportive people in your life who love you no matter what size you are. I don't know if any of you go to church, but mine offers free biblical counseling and it really helped me with my major depression issues. I was even hospitalized for it, so I do understand...If ever anyone needs to talk, I'm here....no judgment..... Just a good listener....and about people playing high and mighty.....I think we all have moments where we think we are on top of it and think we know best....think we have got it down.....but we didn't get obese by being perfect with food, and I don't think I will ever feel like I am the authority on good eating......we should share good eating habits and tips in a kind and caring way.....don't we have enough mean judgmental people in our lives without getting it from a support site? If I ever sound that way it is unintentional and you have my permission to smack me.....I hope you feel better....you are so beautiful.....I hope you can find people who appreciate who you are and how hard you have worked to get there.
Kat

I'm still pre-op but I can understand, a bit, what you're talking about. When I first started down this road...3 years ago...I had no idea of the emotional spirals I would be going through. And this is before it all! I don't think this is taken into consideration, by the medical professionals we count on. From what I've seen here and other forums, this is happening to too many. We just aren't being prepared. It's not like an apendectomy or knee replacement and it's being treated as such. Maybe it's the psych's fault, who knows. But it should be looked at much differently. If you're having difficulty in your new life choices, please don't just let it go. Talk to someone. Get a dialog going, at least, with someone who will listen and try to help you work through it.
All the best to you, and us all!
EEsMom

I understand u completley! It doesnt help that im 22 and my friends really dont get it! And the fact that my parents paid cash for my surgery i always feel like i owe them ugh now im crying!! Its ok i can rant all u want!

I get how u feel. Alot of times i wish i could take it back. I've lost my best friend which was large amounts of food and my favorite hobby eating out. Now it seems like there is nothing fun to do. I think I'm going to seek counseling. I had surgery November 5 2012 and I've lost 80 lbs!! And still regret outweighs my happiness. I hope that i can be happy soon. Will be happy to hear everyone's responses and suggestions. I hate when ppl are not understanding and act like they have such an easy time with the surgery they act like they never get tempted and are always telling ppl what they should and shouldn't eat. Those ppl are full of it and i hate when they post lol sorry for going on my rant lol

Yea I'm 25. My friends dont understand but I'm lucky to have 6 close family members that have had surgery!!! Lol i guess it runs in the family

The world of bariatric surgery is full of myths. Every time myths are repeated, they gain strength and credibility (deserved or not), so it’s important to look at them closely before accepting them as true.


TIME TO THROW OUT SOME OLD MYTHS
It’s time to throw out some old myths about the adjustable gastric band, but before we start flinging those myths around, let’s all agree on what a myth is.
The traditional definition is that a myth is an ancient story of unverifiable, supposedly historical events. A myth expresses the world view of a people or explains a practice, belief, or natural phenomenon. For example, the Greek god Zeus had powers over lightning and storms, and could make a storm to show his anger.
If you think myths are dry stuff found only in schoolbooks, think again. They surround just about every aspect of our lives, and travel much faster now, in the age of technology, than they did in the dusty old days of ancient Greece and Rome. They’re a way for us to make sense of a chaotic world, both past, present and future. They affect thoughts, beliefs, emotions and assumptions in our everyday lives, coming alive in our minds as we, and the people around us, seem to act them out.
Some myths are helpful because they give us a shared sense of security and express our fundamental values and beliefs, but some myths are just plain wrong and can be harmful to us and to others. A good example is the myth that having weight loss surgery is taking the easy way out. Every time I hear that one repeated, I want to laugh and scream at the same time. If you’re a post-op, you know why. Weight loss is hard no matter how you do it (surgery, diet pills, prayer, magic cleanses, and so on). On the other hand, WLS is supposed to be easy, compared to the dozens or hundreds of weight loss attempts in our past. Why on earth would I put myself through a major surgery if it wasn’t going to help me lose weight and keep it off?
Now that we’ve shared a little laugh (or scream) over a WLS myth we can all agree upon, let’s test out some band myths whose validity may not be as clear. This kind of examination can be uncomfortable, but believing in a falsehood is almost guaranteed to make your WLS journey bumpier than it needs to be.
Let’s start with the myths that are easiest to digest and end with the ones that can be tougher for a bandster to swallow.
#1 – THE BAND IS THE LEAST INVASIVE WLS PROCEDURE
I believed this one at first, mainly because I knew little about the other WLS procedures back in 2007. It’s still a widely-circulated myth, one that even my surgeon’s well-intentioned dietitian endorses. So, what’s the truth according to Jean? Face it: any surgery done on an anesthetized patient, during which a surgeon cuts into the belly in several places, does some dissection (more cutting) and suturing (stitching) of the internal anatomy, and implants a medical device (the dreaded “foreign object”), is invasive. It is true that band placement generally involves less internal dissection and suturing than other weight loss surgeries, but neither is it on the same level medically as having your teeth cleaned. So while the invasiveness of a surgery is worth considering, you do yourself a disservice if you let that override other considerations. A bariatric surgery might last 45-60 minutes, with recovery lasting a week or so, but its effect on your health and lifestyle last a lifetime. Or I sure hope it does.
Some people associate invasiveness with irreversibility. Although the band is meant to stay put once clamped to your stomach, it can indeed be removed if medically necessary. Gastric bypass (RNY) surgery can also be reversed, while the sleeve (VSG) cannot and only the “switch” (malabsorptive feature) of the duodenal switch (DS) can be reversed. Removal or reversal is not as easy as operating on a “virgin belly” (as my surgeon so colorfully puts it), so it’s important to weigh the benefits against the risks of reversal or revision surgery.
#2 – BAND WEIGHT LOSS TAKES TOO MUCH WORK
Aside from the desire for instant and effortless weight loss (which is a fairy tale if I ever heard one) that so many obese people share (me among them), this is a myth that often turns people away from the band and towards other WLS procedures. While this myth may be true in the first 12-18 months after surgery, eventually everyone ends up in the same boat, rowing hard against the powerful tide of obesity.
Weight loss and weight maintenance is hard no matter how you achieve it. A dietitian who spoke at a band support group meeting I attended a few years ago said that while band patients must change their lifestyle immediately in order to succeed, every WLS patient must do that sooner or later. It’s a pay-me-now or pay-me-later deal. You can slice it, dice it, sauté it and serve it on your grandmother’s best china. However you serve it, weight loss and maintenance is a lifetime project because obesity is a chronic disease with no cure. No matter how successful we are as new post-ops, all of us must face the possibility of regain. That’s why I cringe when someone proudly crows, “XXX pounds gone forever!”
#3 – THE BAND’S SLOWER WEIGHT LOSS PREVENTS SAGGING SKIN
This is a fairy tale. According to several plastic surgeons I’ve heard speak on the subject. The effect of weight loss on skin depends mostly on your genetics and your age (because skin loses elasticity as we age). Other factors can be how obese you were, how long you were obese, how you carried your weight, and how much (and how) you exercise as you lose weight.
I’ve heard women say that they’d rather be obese than have sagging or excess skin. To my mind, that’s a sad statement, because I’d rather have sagging or excess skin (as long as it didn’t interfere with my ambulation or activities) than excess weight. Don’t get me wrong: I loathe the excess flab on my midsection (whose nickname is “The Danish Pastry”) and I’m not thrilled about my batwings, throat wattles, or anything else that’s happened to my skin in the past few years (during which I’ve undergone the double-whammy of weight loss and the fast approach of my 60’s). On the other hand, I think I look pretty good for a woman my age, especially when I conceal my figure flaws in flattering clothing which, I might add, no longer needs to be purchased at Lane Giant.
#4 – TO LOSE WEIGHT, YOU HAVE TO FIND YOUR SWEET SPOT
I used to wonder how the Sweet Spot Myth could survive in the face of so much clinical evidence against it, but last year I heard the “you gotta find your sweet spot” claim uttered by a bariatric dietitian, so apparently this is a myth being validated by medical professionals who ought to know better.
Instead of the sweet spot, Allergan (the first to introduce the band in the USA) uses a zone chart to illustrate band restriction, with not enough restriction in the yellow zone, good restriction in the green zone, and too much restriction in the red zone. In other words, restriction happens in a range of experience, not at a single static point. That experience changes over time as we lose weight, deal with ordinary processes such as hormonal fluctuations, hydration changes, stress, medications, time of day, and so on. It’s also affected by our food choices (solid vs soft/liquid food).
In my banded days, I traveled through and around a sweet spot many times. It might last for 30 minutes, 3 days, 3 weeks, but it never stayed exactly the same, and yet I still lost weight! I don’t actually want to stay exactly the same for the rest of my life (throat wattles notwithstanding). As any Parkinson’s disease patient will tell you (if they’re able to speak), a body that gets stuck in time is a very big problem (and with my luck, I’d get stuck in the worst sinus infection or case of the flu of my life). Some people who are very sensitive to their band and its fills find sudden or unexpected changes in restriction to be very, very frustrating, and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone, either.
To read more about the sweet spot, click here to go to an article, The Elusive Sweet Spot.
http://www.lapbandtalk.com/page/index.html/_/support/post-op-support/the-elusive-sweet-spot-r59
#5 – NO SIDE EFFECTS MEAN MY BAND ISN’T WORKING
Equating side effects with a properly working band is very common, and potentially very harmful. The two most significant signs of the band’s proper functioning are (1) early satiety and (2) prolonged satiety. Those signs are rarely expressed in large, bold, uppercase letters, such as

STOP EATING NOW!


Those signs won’t be accompanied by clanging bells or flashing lights, either. In fact, the less noise and distraction (such as “Why don’t I have stuck episodes?”), the more likely you are to be able to recognize early and prolonged satiety.
Before I tell you why the no side effects = broken band worry is a sign of mythical thinking, let’s make sure we agree on the definition of a side effect, and how that relates to complications. A side effect is an unintentional or unwanted effect of a medical treatment, and it’s usually exceeded (or at least balanced) by the benefits (the intentional, wanted effects) of that treatment. For example, antibiotics can cause diarrhea. That’s an unpleasant side effect, but an untreated infection can have far worse consequences for the patient. Side effects can often be managed by tweaking or changing the treatment, and they are rarely worse than the original condition.
A complication, on the other hand, is a more acute, serious consequence of a medical treatment, and usually needs a more aggressive approach, including surgery to fix the problem. Now let’s go back to the antibiotic example. An allergic, anaphylactic reaction to the antibiotic can be fatal without prompt medical treatment. That’s a complication, and it’s far worse than the original condition.
So in the context of all that, it seems strange to me when bandsters long for side effects like regurgitation (PB’s), stuck episodes, and sliming. Instead of looking for more subtle clues from their bodies (like early and prolonged satiety), they go looking for problems, and worse than that, they tend to “test” their band with foolish eating and/or overeating, hoping to provoke a side effect that will signal to them that they really do have a band in there. One of the many problems with that approach is that it can also provoke a complication. And that brings us to the final myth in today’s article:
#6 – THE MORE FILL, THE BETTER
I’ve heard bariatric surgeons comment that some band patients seem
to be addicted to fills. I can identify with that because I had a good relationship with my band surgeon who not only administered my fills but gave me a lot of encouragement as well as answers to my many questions. I left each fill appointment with a renewed sense of commitment and hope. How can you not get hooked on something good like that?
The problem with equating fills with weight loss success is that more fill is not always better. In fact, too much fill (which varies from one patient to the next, and also varies in a single patient as time goes on and the patient’s body keeps changing) can be downright dangerous. An overfilled band, and the side effects it causes (see #5 above), can lead to a complication like a band slip, esophageal dilation, or stomach dilation. While complications can come out of nowhere, most bariatric surgeons agree that too much saline in the band puts too much pressure on the stomach. Eventually something’s got to give. That’s often hastened by the patient’s efforts to eat around the problem, and it is absolutely not a guarantee of weight loss. I gained weight several times because of what’s called Soft Calorie Syndrome. My band was too tight and I was dealing with it by consuming mostly soft and liquid calories that offered little or no satiety.
The human body is an incredible organism, capable of amazing feats of growth and healing that we take mostly for granted, but it’s not endlessly forgiving. Too much fill in your band, too many eating problems, too much inflammation and irritation in the upper GI tract, can compromise your body’s ability to recover from a complication like a band slip. Sometimes a complication can be treated conservatively, with an unfill and rest period, but sometimes it requires a surgical fix, including removal of the band. And after all you’ve gone through to get that band wrapped around your stomach, shouldn’t you be doing your utmost to treat it (and your body) with respect?
Finally, the fill myth can cause us to overlook a very important guest at your WLS party….you. If you are going to succeed with your band, lose weight and keep it off and keep that band safe and sound inside you, sooner or later you will have to take personal responsibility for your success. Expecting your band alone to carry you to your goal weight is like expecting your car to safely deliver your child to school without anybody in the driver’s seat. And I sure hope that you are a very important person in your life!

Compelling. Soooo many things on this list is me talking. For instance....I wish I had known how lonely I would be once I lost the weight. Or how much my relationship would change (no longer in one) because I have changed. Or how self conscious I've become. Or the all time biggie...the depression. Depressed I believe because of the aloneness. I assume I need to get out and make all new acquaintances.... people who don't know that I was recently morbidly obese or people who don't think my face is to slim or I look "different" because they've never seen me before the weight loss. Although I have no regrets this journey has been mentally and emotionally exhausting, and I'm only 9 months out.
Sent from my Nexus S 4G using RNYTalk

For me, I have to re-educate myself.. Have the right tools!
Clean out all the un-healthy cookbooks, replace them with organic cooking & recipes that are healthy, which means purchasing the fresh groceries to go along with it. My daughter, my mother and I are going to continue getting together & help cook for each other, healthy meals.
I have a weekly date with two of my grandsons (3 y.o. & 9 mos) and were going to make healthy pizzas & play games. They can learn how to decorate their pizzas with good fresh ingredients given to choose from.
Start slow,, food will taste different, textures will be different.
Spend time researching this site, read what has worked for others; talk to people and find out what works for them..
Change your habits.. The first day of my 2 week liquid diet had me a little concerned. My 'habit' was to come home after work & pour a glass of wine before anything.
That first day I came home & literally walked around talking to myself "Must find a new routine" and I got busy with some things I had put off a long time, found myself distracted & alas a new habit was formed. No regrets.
Keep focused, but don't make it too complicated. Set some short-term goals & long term goals.
Those are some things I have done...
Dawn

LOL I too look like a dying cow. Anyway, yoga is great. And yes us chubby people can do it we just look a little weird check out Amazon for a good DVD ( i like all the ratings they have) and try it. Also, cleaning helps. I was also thinking about a hobby like knitting. I know someone on the boards started woodworking.

Wow! I feel like I read a book. Good reading
I wanna comment on
... Having people that don’t know you have had the surgery assume you’re becoming deathly ill or suddenly anorexic
My husband was telling me a few days ago how my neighbor was asking if I was sick or have health problems that I lost so much weight. He said she's fine she has back problems. & her doctor suggest for her to lose weight so she did.

I found this on another support group site; I thought it was very informative and thought I'd share.
(I just copied and pasted below)
1.Things I wish I'd known, part 1
These thoughts on "things I wish I'd known" were compiled by Lisa M on thinnertimesforum.com. Originally compiled in 2007, the "thoughts" were updated in 2010.
They all come from people who have "been there, done that."
Though the post is lengthy, I encourage you to read through to the end. There is much to discover here; comfort and company, hope and inspiration.
Here are LisaM's notes on her efforts:
"I gathered these off a thread that we had on here around about four years ago, took off everyone's names, added where the person was post-op, and put them in order by how far post-op the person was, so you can see how things change as we move further away from the surgery... If you have anything to add that you don't see here that you wish you'd known, please add to the bottom of the thread. If you recognize yourself in these words, has anything changed?"
. . . . . . . . . . . . .
Things I wish I’d known:
Post-op less than one month:
Gas pain gas pain gas pain!!! (one day post-op)
• how hard it would be to eat and get the Protein in.
• how hard it is to drink constantly.
• what types of pain I really would go through.
• what types of pain were "normal".
• what type of protein I would be able to handle in the liquid stage (at this point, not much). (one week post-op)
As stupid as it sounds, I wish I had known that getting the staples out was going to be more painful than anything I had been dealing with in about a week. And that the catheter was going to be such a pain to get out. Not painful; difficult... It took more time and energy to find somewhere/someone to take it out than I had energy-level wise. How annoying... (two weeks post-op)
I thought I would have no appetite, but I do once I get through the morning sickness stage of my day. I didn't believe anyone when they said they couldn't tolerate Water - I am one of those people. (three weeks post-op)
Post-op one month:
I wish that I knew how truly hard it is to eat!! I am not hungry and it is very hard to get in all the protein that my body needs. Not only is it hard to get all the protein in, when I do eat I feel guilty. Hello!!! I know I shouldn't feel guilty, I am barely getting in 500 calories a day...but somewhere in my brain when I am eating (no matter what it is) I feel like I am being "bad".
I was shocked at the post operative pain I personally went through - for about a week. It was hell on earth & I cried & swore every day about what I had done to myself. Maybe I am a wimp & have a low pain threshold but even so, there should be stronger analgesia on offer to those of us that are wimps.
I also wish I'd been warned how emotional I'd be too & that sticking to fluids only is psychologically very difficult; if you used to be a "foodie". I wish I'd known how tired & weak I would be, just having a shower would exhaust me in the early days & I'd have to have a rest! At nearly a month out I'm starting to feel better about why I had the surgery, the weight is melting away & I feel better physically every day. Also at last the pain is practically gone. I'm taking note of all the other advice for later in my journey & I am looking forward to more energy in a few months & a sense o*******n when I get to my 100lb down mark. I'm also buying clothes on ebay as I've dropped two sizes already.
As a guy, I really wish I had known about the catheter beforehand... as I was coming out of the anesthesia, I reached down to scratch myself and had a giant wtf moment because I wasn't expecting it.
I wish I had know that six weeks post op and 35 lbs lost, and no one has noticed anything except that my face looks thinner and my boobs are smaller!!
Post-op two months:
I wish I understood what a challenge taking pills would be...at least at the beginning, and how all-consuming the transition is until it becomes 'just life.'
I wish I’d known how getting hit on for the first time in my adult life would make me more insecure about my new (emerging) body.. not less.
Post-op three months:
I wish I’d known that:
• Its hard to get in all the food you are supposed to every day.
• Some days are easier than others.
• How emotional you are when you get home.
• Why your pouch is happy one day and not the next.
• Plateaus.......need I say more!
• That my co-workers are MORE supportive than I thought.
• That I would show my scar off to people all the time - I am proud of it.
• How the smell of some food turns you right off.
• That there are many different rules from doctors.....and it’s ok, they are all correct.
... How much i would really miss food early out. It was crushing to not be able to run to the fridge and drown my sorrows and pain in a pint of Ben n Jerrys.
... How much i actually thought about food! I didn’t understand why i was so obese, i honestly thought i ate pretty well most of the time.
... What a pain in the butt it is to sip sip sip sip sip sip liquids ALLLL day.
... How weird it is to "eat" dinner with your family without shoveling it in like everyone else.
... Having people that don’t know you have had the surgery assume you’re becoming deathly ill or suddenly anorexic.
... How completely amazing it feels to be at the same weight I was when i got married 8 years ago and know that I could be at a high school weight by Christmas!!
... How weird it would be to look in the mirror and finally see the person i thought i was all this time emerging from the layers.
i wish i knew how many times i'd stall! (like every 3rd week) and that every BODY is different, that at 3 months i'd only lost 40 pounds.........
Post-op four months:
I wish I had known how obsessed I would become with my weight and my appearance. Pre-surgery I was aware of how fat I was I just didn't dwell on it. As long as I was clean and semi-presentable I was fine. Now I find myself super conscious of everything I wear, every pound I lose and obsessing on how I can lose more weight in the fastest amount of time. Now I have to have pedicures, manicures, and my hair done. I feel uncomfortable without make up. I thought losing weight would make me more comfortable with my appearance and instead it has made me more self-conscious. Who knew!
I wish I understood how EVERY aspect of my life would change dramatically. I wish I understood how tremendously happy I would be. I wish I understood how for me... the benefits far outweighed the risks. I wish I understood how many beautiful people I'd meet, and how much they would add to my life. I wish I understood how committed I would be, how strong I would be, and how wonderful I'd feel. I wish I understood that I needed to do this a long time ago.
1.Things I wish I'd known, part 2 of 3
Post-op five months:
I wish I'd known how REALLY IMPORTANT it is to get enough protein! Yes, my doctor and my dietician both told me that, but I'd never eaten a lot of protein, so for some reason I just assumed I'd be OK if I didn't get as much as they said. Well, I got really sick. I was totally exhausted and throwing up constantly. I lost a LOT of hair. I developed pneumonia shortly after my surgery, and it took me forever to recover, I think because I wasn't getting adequate protein. I was in the hospital with the pneumonia for three weeks, and when I came home I was so weak I could hardly stand. I am proud to say that I am now getting about 75 grams of protein a day and feeling much, much better, but I wish I had known in the beginning how very important it was and what could happen if I didn't do it.
I wish I'd known how quickly you'd forget about the early stuff; pain, weakness, exhaustion & struggling with only drinking fluids for a month. It's horrible I know but it will pass believe me & is soooo worth it.
I'm now so fit I go to the gym every day for approx' an hour and a half, I'm lifting really big weights three times a week, I can do 90 mins of cardio work when not doing a class & I love it (I can even jog now for 15 mins).
Post-op six months:
I wish I'd have known not to sink so much money into protein supplements!
I do kinda wish I'd have done it in my younger years, but then again, I think timing and such is part of our great plan for our life. I wouldn't want to alter who I was supposed to be and what I needed to learn by my experiences. But it would have been so cool to be thinner and still be a young thing!
I wish I had known just how emotionally tough this journey is. No matter how much research, how many questions, how many support groups, or even what the Doctor & NUT tell you. I was still not fully prepared for just how emotionally and mentally hard WLS is. Until you are on the path, you really can not know what it will be like for you or how you will feel or what parts of your everyday life will be impacted. The journey is as individual as we are.
Post-op seven months:
I wish I had known how bad I would feel not being able to help my daughters lose weight. I have this great tool and I try to lead by example, but you all know how hard it is without the tool. On the other hand: I wish I had know how good it would feel to wear whatever I want and know I look good in it. Sometimes when I am out I have to remind myself that I am small!
I was well aware of the known possibles, the published ones, the one your doc and NUT tell you about, but had I known about the myriad of problems others have had, the decision to go forward would have been even more difficult.... and I say that because I have not had many problems, nor difficulties in getting my protein in, nor wicked Hair loss, nor constant dumping, nor hydration difficulties. I think my obstacles have been manageable, and overcome... which is how I treat obstacles... just a minor roadblock that you have to get through -- Such is life.
I like that I recovered quickly from having an open RNY.
I liked seeing 299 again, which kept me going.
I like the support I received from professionals and friends.
I like the friends I've made post WLS.
I like the fact that I had not met anyone who had anything negative to say to me about having had WLS.
I especially like the fact that I do not weigh 400 lbs, because had I not had WLS, that's where I'd be tipping the scale. So to me, this was worse than any negative that could be presented to me.
Post-op eight months:
--I wish I had known how much I enjoy working out regularly now that I am getting such great results for myself and such wonderful feedback from people who seem almost mesmerized about how different (read: "good") I now look having lost 16" in my waist and well over 100lbs so far this year!
I wish I would have understood how losing weight would affect my relationships with other people.
I wish I would have known that eating and drinking were going to become a full time job. The planning and weighing the grocery shopping and reading labels on everything you buy.
I wish I would have known how difficult it was going to be to answer the same questions from people daily after surgery: How much have you lost? What did you eat today? Is that a new shirt? Did you get your water and exercise in today?
I wish I would have been told how rough this surgery is mentally. The physical and mental changes that your body goes through are unbelievable. It is way more then just "losing weight".
And the biggest one for me is that I never understood how hard it was going to be to say good bye to my best friend in the whole world. FOOD! It was there for me for any emotion or feeling that I had. It is like a death in the family not being able to rely on it or use it anymore.
I wish I knew that I would be thinking about food constantly throughout my day. Food is on my mind now more than it was when I was 265 pounds!
I wish I knew that I would be disappointed in myself for "only" having lost 70 pounds. I think if I hadn't had the surgery and lost 70 pounds I would be jumping for joy but now I can't help but feel somewhat unsuccessful.
I wish I knew I would feel guilty for eating certain things even though its nowhere near the amount I used to eat (i.e. a cookie...)
I wish I knew that my butt and my chest were going to become flat and my hair was going to fall out so much.
I wish I knew how overwhelming shopping can be when you're not limited to the "Lane Bryants" of the world.
Post-op nine months:
That at 9+ months out you REALLY have to work at eating correctly... you CAN eat more and you DO have the old cravings. I did know this before surgery...I knew this during months 1-9...but I thought to myself, "nope, not me...I am going to be one of the ones that is never hungry...that never wants to eat" YEAH RIGHT! What a dork I am...It has just in the past few weeks become such a job to eat correctly and not eat crap.
Post-op eleven months:
I wish I had known that I am NOT truly that big boned......and therefore know not to overbuy clothes when I get to the limit my mind had made. Yep, a whole bag of my "never can imagine" size barely worn if at all, and hanging in the closet are the clothes in my "shut up......I would never be THAT small" size!
I wish I had known that my tastes would change and make some of the healthy eating aspects easier than I imagined.
I wish I had known that I would still somehow miraculously be able to consume mammoth amounts of salty munchies......which makes some aspects of my new life more difficult than imagined.
I wish I had known not to overbuy the supplements, but rather to stock up on tea, cocoa powder, and dry milk.
I wish I had known that I was not saying good-bye to food, but just setting new boundaries in our relationship.
I wish I had known that I would like my body more and more with clothes on and less and less naked as I get smaller.
I know it sounds silly but I wish I would have known just how chapped my lips were going to be! I also was not prepared for thinking "WHAT have I done to myself....... I must be stupid and crazy!!!!" It only lasted a day or two but I had no idea that others had this same thought! I felt as if I made a mistake and got extremely depressed. Even the next day I didn't feel that way I was excited for my journey!
One year post-op:
I wish that I realized how difficult "head hunger" was going to be for the first few months post op. I kept hearing about the fact that although I would be on a restricted diet, the DESIRE to eat "regular" food was going to be nearly insatiable. I couldn't eat like a normal person and I knew that, but I wanted to so bad. The mental changes that you go through to change the way you think and feel about food is a slow, phased and sometimes painful (but necessary) process. I did not understand that pre-op. I kept thinking I could deal with it without any problems at all and I was wrong.
I also wished I listened to people tell me that I should not buy any new clothes (except for thrift or deeply discounted****il I was ALL THE WAY down to my new weight. Along the way, I kept thinking that was the smallest I could get, so I may as well get new clothes. I got a little wear out of the in-between sizes, but not much.
I wish I had known the REAL reason why I was doing it - which had nothing to do with losing weight, but was about reclaiming my life.
I wish I had known that the way I felt the first month post-op was temporary. Maybe it was better that I went in not knowing how truly awful I was going to feel for a while. Looking back on it, it passed quickly, but they don't call it hell week for nothing.
I wish I had known how amazing it is to meet people who haven't seen me since before the surgery.
I wish I had known that my life would change so much so fast. I love who I am for the first time in decades, and glory in the ability of this body to do so much without pain or tears or humiliation.
I wi****ruly understood the COMMITMENT...100% life style change....they told me but real life is different from a zerox handout/support group once a month.
I regret I had it. It is very dangerous. We never hear of those who died from Wernicke's encephalopathy, and other issues, as they are not considered by-pass related, "directly". I have Wernicke's encephalopathy, severe dry eye, ataxia, night sensitivity, and cannot keep weight on. I regret I had the surgery. Deeply regret it. I aged some 15 years. Hair is all but gone. And I am 1 year out.
I would've taken the couples counseling sessions more seriously or read more into the dramatic effects it can and will have on your marriage/relationship post surgery. If you don't think it can happen to you, like I thought about my marriage, DO IT!! It will be worth it in the end and the "spouse support" is a major factor when talking of the TOTAL success of your surgery (other than the weight loss figures).
1.Things I wish I'd known, part 3 of 3
14 months:
I wish I’d known:
1. that smells are so much stronger now and can make you ill
2. that skin is not always so elastic when it's going down as it was going up in weight
3. that your relationships change so much because you change, not just physically but emotionally. You have to deal with the issues you stuffed down your mouth, so the rawness of that can be hard to swallow
4. people don't always think you look good
5. some people like you better fat and don't know how to deal with you skinny
6. you really could lose your life and surgery is a huge step! I was so lucky my doc was a good one and fixed me up quick
7. How eating is a chore sometimes and you won't be hungry for food some days
8. people will think you are sick "all" the time even if it only happened 4 times in 9 months
9. that you won't see the changes as fast as some other people see them so you can get discouraged when you haven't lost as much weight as so n so
10. that the people who were attracted to you when you were fat, may not be attracted to you skinny
11. people who wouldn't look at you before, now have an interest in you
12. family can ignore your accomplishments because they are jealous or resent you took a chance on your life
13. that it would give me back my life such as playing, running, jumping, stretching, walking, etc...
14. fitting into clothes you haven't ever dreamed you would is such a HIGH!!
15. that WLS can be lonely if you don't have support
18 months:
I wish I had trusted my fellow gbs friends when they said "Don't buy too many clothes...you will shrink out of them" I never believed I would ever be the size I am today.
I was at 185, but I let a remark throw me off. Someone said " Oh God, your cheeks are all sunk in, you look terrible".
So I purposely gained 35 lbs. regretting it now. I am dieting again to get back to 185. That is where I have no gut, naturally.
Other wise, I lost 175 lbs...So, don't let a remark get to you.
20 months:
Know that though Moderation is the long term goal for post op life... using 'living life with moderation' as an excuse to go off the post op plan before maintenance is unwise... active weight loss stops, and sometimes you cannot control how early it will stop or how much (or how little!) you will lose so it's wise to take that very short time (in the grand scheme of things) to stick as closely to your doctors plan as possible.. work that honeymoon phase and work it hard.. the more you lose towards your goal in that active weight loss plan the better.
Take it from one whose weight loss stopped at 9 months and doctor after doctor has informed me that this is it, even though I still measure and log my food at nearly three years out and even though I work out a minimum of 10 hours a week at the gym.. and these aren't pansy workouts at a leisurely pace either.. random people come up to me and tell me how inspirational I am to them because they see how hard I work.. 'energizer bunny' at the gym is one label I'm proud to wear for sure.. 20 year olds have told me they feel intimidated because they can't keep up with me. And I'm still 'done'. And I am still classified as "Obese" on the BMI chart.
I don't want any of you to end up like me. Though some days it messes with my head.. a LOT.. to see people years later, have surgery and then pass me by on the weight stats.. but it is still gratifying to me for the most part... if it wasn't, I wouldn't bother talking about the problem some of us have. And yeah, not all of us have this issue but you won't know till you're there, you know? :/
Two years:
I wish I’d known that it would become a daily struggle for me to keep on track. I was told it gets harder and I have to work at it every day. The good thing is this tool works and forces me to eat well in order to feel good.
I wish I knew how badly I would hate the sagging skin. I thought I would be ok with it and it would be better than having all of the extra weight, but it really became and still is an issue with me. The thing I can not tolerate the most is my calves...all of those who know me know that I am so called teeny tiny, but my calves are huge. I have to roll them up in my pants...literally. When I wear shorts, and my legs are relaxed, I have calf wings...seriously. I am not exaggerating. the nurse at my pcp told me yesterday that she can't believe how big they are in proportion to my body. I was laying on the table and my calves were flopped there skin laying there....looked like slabs of meat with the skin hanging off. At least she was honest with me. She told me my tummy and chest look great…I think because she felt bad after she talked about my legs. No worries...I know they are gross. Anyway, skin is a big thing with me and I just wish I knew that I was going to need help with it...mental help that is. I don't regret surgery though...not for a minute.
Three Years:
I wish I had known how great life really is after you reached the various goals...then perhaps I wouldn't have struggled so much over the journey Then again, it's hard to appreciate what you have if you didn't struggle for it.
I wish I would have known just after losing my first 50 pounds my ankles would stop giving out on me!
I wish I would have known how many friends I would have lost.
I wish I would have known the hardest thing to deal with was how much my face and facial features changed!
Four Years:
The reasons why I believe depression came on about a year after surgery, the first year is so exciting and challenging I dont think you think about much... until all the loss and changing comes to a slow roll.......... Why I got depressed!
I think it is because of so many life hurts, and turning to "comfort foods" and putting up the wall of fat around me to protect me for several years. Now that the weight is gone, and my eating habits have changed where I dont turn to food to soothe my feelings and emotions have been left stranded. I know I am a codependant person, and the idea of turning to drugs and alcohol has been a teetering source of comfort that alarms me. So I stop doing that, now what? How do I deal? In comes depression because I feel lost, hopeless, scared, develop anxiety, lose friends and feel abondoned, you are constantly criticized by family, friends, neighbors about how SICK you look... what is someone to do who at one time was invisible to the stares and comments? Someone who wasnt a threat to the people around you? These are some of the experiences which I feel led me to fall into depression. It is because of my experience I strongly urge people to stick with a therapist for 2 years after surgery, on at least a monthly basis just to "check in" emotionally.
Five Years:
I wish I had known I would love the person I would become, and that I had worth. It would have saved a lot of tears, if I had known that. The tears, though, are part of the reason I became this person. Without being fat, and without GBS as a catalyst for the implosion of my entire life post-op, I would not have as much respect for the person I have become.
I wish I had known that GBS wasn't bulletproof much earlier on in the process. I certainly heard the words, but I didn't listen to them, because I just knew I would be the one who didn't try sugar, and I just knew I was the one who was capable of only eating the calories I needed after the surgery was over. My own humanity came as a distinct shock.
I wish I had known the depression that I went through at about two years post-op wasn't because of the surgery, but because the surgery didn't fix my life. I still had the same life, I just could no longer tolerate the fact that it didn't all change along with my body. As a result, I tried a number of drugs for depression, and in hindsight, it was to medicate myself into staying in that life that I had outgrown while I was shrinking.

Planes... I'm so sick of getting an anxiety attack about them and being uncomfortable. The fat friend thing is old too. Hoping to get approved this week!!

My surgery was 5/4/10. I looked forward to ding physical activities and being able to find clothes at normal stores. It was also nice too not worry about whether or not I would fit in a carnival ride

I tell my wife everyday and she gives me the finger and walks away that's her way of saying I Love You LOL
Surgery Anniversary 7/30/12

Oh I'll tell him how much I lose but not the starting point. Lol. He's best friend has a creepy way of figuring out what I weigh. Ugh.

I now weigh less then my husband AND son!

Last year I wanted the band but then realized it was not going to be enough for me. I need the dumping and the fear of stretching the pouch out. Also not a fan of the whole port thing with the band. But this is me and everyone is different. I have a book called Skinny Jeans. I says that you can have great success with the band if you are a person that will follow the rules with no questions. Good luck in your decision.

Ok - here is a watered down science lesson but I promise it will make sense...
Serotonin is the chemical that your brain either doesn't recognize well or you don't have enough of when you are depressed.
Serotonin is partially made from cholesterol.
After RNY your cholesterol levels will likely drop which means your Serotonin levels will also drop.
Which means you are prone to depression after RNY. But this doesn't mean you are definitely going to be depressed. It just means you will have to diligently take your medications and communicate with your doctor if you feel the need to adjust your medications. If you see a pyschiatrist for meds, they will be aware of this. If you see your PCP then maybe this would be a good time to get on board with someone with more expertise in this area.
Your surgeon has likely been down this road many times so I wouldn't worry too much.
It does sound like you are being proactive which is great and an indicator of success!

Congrats on making the decision to become a healthier you. I don't want to play devils advocate but it is best for your surgeon to know all medications that you are on so there are no adverse reactions when they give you anastesia. And the meds that they have you on (I don't know what they are) would alert the surgeon to your being bipolar. Be honest. Its shouldn't keep you from surgery if you are truly in a right head space for it. Good luck!