Lebim

Just curious, maybe some of us are closer to each other than we think?
I'm from west palm beach, florida and my surgeon was Paul Wizman
- Kaylee Ann ~ Surgerversary: 6/11/12

Oh man so many things.
Iced passion tea with no classic (liquid sugar) and add your own (I prefer stevia)
Really any iced or hot tea obviously
For a few extra calories you could also do my favorite which is the iced passion tea lemonade. Goes down fine.
If you can drink milk and caffeine: any skinny latte (ex. Skinny vanilla latte, skinny hazelnut latte, skinny cinnamon dolce latte etc etc)
My favorite drink is as follows:
Grande vanilla roobios latte with only a quarter milk (versus half) steamed at kids temperature (after letting the tea steep for at least 2 minutes before adding milk) with no classic and 1 pump of sf hazelnut.
Ooo and I've never had a problem with the very berry hibiscus refresher or cool lime refresher.
AND their smoothies have 20g of Protein from whey. Ask for the chocolate banana smoothie made with SKINNY MOCHA and perhaps extra Protein like I do. It's just sf mocha, a banana and milk and protein. You can also sub nonfat milk if you prefer.
- Kaylee Ann ~ Surgerversary 6/11/2012

Man I really hope i dont get banned for asking this but I don't know where else to turn. Prior to surgery I was a regular grass smoker (with a medicinal card) but am curious as to how safe it is after surgery because I know that cigarette smoke is harmful and can cause ulcers. Sometimes I really don't care to eat and it helps me force some Protein in me but I don't want to hurt myself. My surgeon told me he honestly doesn't know if it's as harmful as cigarette smoke but assumes it is. There's nothing on the internet about it either so I've kind of run out of resources :[
- Kaylee Ann ~ Surgerversary: 6/11/12

9 months out
154 lbs from 276
21 years old
Size 10 pants
Size M/S


- Kaylee Ann ~ Surgerversary 6/11/2012

Pre-op HW: 276
SW: 263
Today: 205 // 3 months post-op
[ATTACH]1216[/ATTACH]
[ATTACH]1217[/ATTACH]
- Kaylee Ann ~ Surgiversary: 6/11/12

Essentially what I plan on getting
[ATTACH]1566[/ATTACH]
- Kaylee Ann ~ Surgiversary: 6/11/12

Nothing sexier than this
[ATTACH]1357[/ATTACH]
- Kaylee Ann ~ Surgiversary: 6/11/12

I've posted this thread in 2 other topics just to vent and hopefully help others not make my mistakes so if you see it more than once I'm sorry, getting this off my chest to more people just makes me feel better.
Before you have gastric bypass they warn you of a few things.
1. You can gain the weight back
2. Alcoholism is a possible side effect after surgery
3. food that used to fill you up or make you sick won't do that as much after awhile
4. Smoking cigarettes causes ulcers post-op
My mom always says no matter how much I'm warned - I've always had to learn every lesson the hard way. Gastric bypass was that way too.
My story is just a warning for all you guys out there - it's true, I'm the prime example of all the stuff they warn you about.
Hey, I'm Kaylee and I had my surgery when I was 20 years old on June 11, 2012. I was 280lbs. In less than 8 months I got down to 150 lbs, 130lbs lost.
For the first 9 months I was insanely strict. If it wasn't a lean Protein or a non-starchy vegetable I wouldn't eat it. Couldn't pay me to eat a carb. While this is good health wise and I'm sure made my surgical team sing - it was the start of my inevitable failure. I was so strict that after awhile all the foods I had denied myself even a nibble of became so enticing I felt ravenous.
My first screw up was picking up smoking again almost a year after I quit. Pure stupidity, I was just bored and thought I could do it socially, wrong. Got ulcers and have had them for over a year and a half. Without acid reducer pills I'm in a lot of pain.
Breaking that golden rule led me to break other rules because hey, I already screwed up right? I started having those forbidden foods I had not allowed myself to even look at for such a long time. Bites turned into mouth fulls turned into plate fulls.
Then came introducing wine back into my life. I suffer from depression and when you don't have to put effort into getting drunk anymore it is so appealing. I fought depression with wine and started drinking every single night - going through a box of wine every 3 days or so.
I then moved from sunny south Florida, away from all my friends, to cold Missouri in the middle of January 2014. I fell into a deep depression and my drinking got worse, and since I was waiting for all my stuff to arrive in the moving truck I lived off hot pockets, Bagels, pretty much anything I could toss in a microwave or toaster. I ate crap, drank daily and smoked like a chimney for pretty much the entire year of 2014, all the while pretending my scale didn't exist and convincing myself my clothes were shrinking and I wasn't getting bigger. I was too ashamed and terrified to look at the scale.< /p>
I finally got up the courage to face what I had done to myself the start of January 2015 and got on the scale. 204lbs. In the span of one year I had gained 54lbs. I felt disgusted with myself and cried for days and days and beat myself up emotionally. I failed everyone, especially myself.
But nothing good comes from beating yourself up over what you cannot take back. I can't take back living on bagels and wine for an entire year. What I can do is fight to get back to 150lbs though.
So on January 12 I quit smoking, quit drinking every day and have reduced it to just Saturday's with my boyfriend at home versus my downtown-bad-habit-factory, and have gotten close to back to basics but allow myself some freedom - for example for lunch on days I work out I let myself have my chicken and veggies inside a wrap [carbs are my crack] instead of depriving myself of anything I want.
I want very badly to get back down to 150lbs... I'm terrified I never will and have somehow ruined this "one and only chance" I've made up in my head. Like I had this wonderful gift of being thin and now that I messed it up I'll never get it back, but I know that type of thinking won't help me. So I'm going to keep going and hopefully someday get back to it.
If you've actually made it this far, thank you, I really needed to get this horrible guilt off my chest. I feel like an absolute failure but getting it out helps.
So if I can give you guys any advice:
1. Yes you can gain it back, I'm an example.
2. Becoming an alcoholic is a real risk you need to watch out for post op.
3. You will be surprised how much food you can get into your body if you really try
4. If you quit smoking never pick it up again, I didn't even have a desire to smoke and managed to become a pack a day smoker again within a month. Not even one after you quit.
And most of all - NEVER EVER stop using your scale. I ignored what I was doing for so long and that's how I ended up gaining the amount I did. If I had just looked a couple months before and saw 175lbs I would've done what I'm doing now back then. I would have never let it get this bad if I had just swallowed my pride and looked. I'm lucky that I caught myself when I did because I was headed towards being morbidly obese again.
Good luck to you all - try not to make all the mistakes I did.
Here's to hoping I can look like this again

I've posted this thread in 2 other topics just to vent and hopefully help others not make my mistakes so if you see it more than once I'm sorry, getting this off my chest to more people just makes me feel better.
Before you have gastric bypass they warn you of a few things.
1. You can gain the weight back
2. Alcoholism is a possible side effect after surgery
3. food that used to fill you up or make you sick won't do that as much after awhile
4. Smoking cigarettes causes ulcers post-op
My mom always says no matter how much I'm warned - I've always had to learn every lesson the hard way. Gastric bypass was that way too.
My story is just a warning for all you guys out there - it's true, I'm the prime example of all the stuff they warn you about.
Hey, I'm Kaylee and I had my surgery when I was 20 years old on June 11, 2012. I was 280lbs. In less than 8 months I got down to 150 lbs, 130lbs lost.
For the first 9 months I was insanely strict. If it wasn't a lean Protein or a non-starchy vegetable I wouldn't eat it. Couldn't pay me to eat a carb. While this is good health wise and I'm sure made my surgical team sing - it was the start of my inevitable failure. I was so strict that after awhile all the foods I had denied myself even a nibble of became so enticing I felt ravenous.
My first screw up was picking up smoking again almost a year after I quit. Pure stupidity, I was just bored and thought I could do it socially, wrong. Got ulcers and have had them for over a year and a half. Without acid reducer pills I'm in a lot of pain.
Breaking that golden rule led me to break other rules because hey, I already screwed up right? I started having those forbidden foods I had not allowed myself to even look at for such a long time. Bites turned into mouth fulls turned into plate fulls.
Then came introducing wine back into my life. I suffer from depression and when you don't have to put effort into getting drunk anymore it is so appealing. I fought depression with wine and started drinking every single night - going through a box of wine every 3 days or so.
I then moved from sunny south Florida, away from all my friends, to cold Missouri in the middle of January 2014. I fell into a deep depression and my drinking got worse, and since I was waiting for all my stuff to arrive in the moving truck I lived off hot pockets, Bagels, pretty much anything I could toss in a microwave or toaster. I ate crap, drank daily and smoked like a chimney for pretty much the entire year of 2014, all the while pretending my scale didn't exist and convincing myself my clothes were shrinking and I wasn't getting bigger. I was too ashamed and terrified to look at the scale.< /p>
I finally got up the courage to face what I had done to myself the start of January 2015 and got on the scale. 204lbs. In the span of one year I had gained 54lbs. I felt disgusted with myself and cried for days and days and beat myself up emotionally. I failed everyone, especially myself.
But nothing good comes from beating yourself up over what you cannot take back. I can't take back living on bagels and wine for an entire year. What I can do is fight to get back to 150lbs though.
So on January 12 I quit smoking, quit drinking every day and have reduced it to just Saturday's with my boyfriend at home versus my downtown-bad-habit-factory, and have gotten close to back to basics but allow myself some freedom - for example for lunch on days I work out I let myself have my chicken and veggies inside a wrap [carbs are my crack] instead of depriving myself of anything I want.
I want very badly to get back down to 150lbs... I'm terrified I never will and have somehow ruined this "one and only chance" I've made up in my head. Like I had this wonderful gift of being thin and now that I messed it up I'll never get it back, but I know that type of thinking won't help me. So I'm going to keep going and hopefully someday get back to it.
If you've actually made it this far, thank you, I really needed to get this horrible guilt off my chest. I feel like an absolute failure but getting it out helps.
So if I can give you guys any advice:
1. Yes you can gain it back, I'm an example.
2. Becoming an alcoholic is a real risk you need to watch out for post op.
3. You will be surprised how much food you can get into your body if you really try
4. If you quit smoking never pick it up again, I didn't even have a desire to smoke and managed to become a pack a day smoker again within a month. Not even one after you quit.
And most of all - NEVER EVER stop using your scale. I ignored what I was doing for so long and that's how I ended up gaining the amount I did. If I had just looked a couple months before and saw 175lbs I would've done what I'm doing now back then. I would have never let it get this bad if I had just swallowed my pride and looked. I'm lucky that I caught myself when I did because I was headed towards being morbidly obese again.
Good luck to you all - try not to make all the mistakes I did.
Here's to hoping I can look like this again

I've posted this thread in 2 other topics just to vent and hopefully help others not make my mistakes so if you see it more than once I'm sorry, getting this off my chest to more people just makes me feel better.
Before you have gastric bypass they warn you of a few things.
1. You can gain the weight back
2. Alcoholism is a possible side effect after surgery
3. food that used to fill you up or make you sick won't do that as much after awhile
4. Smoking cigarettes causes ulcers post-op
My mom always says no matter how much I'm warned - I've always had to learn every lesson the hard way. Gastric bypass was that way too.
My story is just a warning for all you guys out there - it's true, I'm the prime example of all the stuff they warn you about.
Hey, I'm Kaylee and I had my surgery when I was 20 years old on June 11, 2012. I was 280lbs. In less than 8 months I got down to 150 lbs, 130lbs lost.
For the first 9 months I was insanely strict. If it wasn't a lean Protein or a non-starchy vegetable I wouldn't eat it. Couldn't pay me to eat a carb. While this is good health wise and I'm sure made my surgical team sing - it was the start of my inevitable failure. I was so strict that after awhile all the foods I had denied myself even a nibble of became so enticing I felt ravenous.
My first screw up was picking up smoking again almost a year after I quit. Pure stupidity, I was just bored and thought I could do it socially, wrong. Got ulcers and have had them for over a year and a half. Without acid reducer pills I'm in a lot of pain.
Breaking that golden rule led me to break other rules because hey, I already screwed up right? I started having those forbidden foods I had not allowed myself to even look at for such a long time. Bites turned into mouth fulls turned into plate fulls.
Then came introducing wine back into my life. I suffer from depression and when you don't have to put effort into getting drunk anymore it is so appealing. I fought depression with wine and started drinking every single night - going through a box of wine every 3 days or so.
I then moved from sunny south Florida, away from all my friends, to cold Missouri in the middle of January 2014. I fell into a deep depression and my drinking got worse, and since I was waiting for all my stuff to arrive in the moving truck I lived off hot pockets, Bagels, pretty much anything I could toss in a microwave or toaster. I ate crap, drank daily and smoked like a chimney for pretty much the entire year of 2014, all the while pretending my scale didn't exist and convincing myself my clothes were shrinking and I wasn't getting bigger. I was too ashamed and terrified to look at the scale.< /p>
I finally got up the courage to face what I had done to myself the start of January 2015 and got on the scale. 204lbs. In the span of one year I had gained 54lbs. I felt disgusted with myself and cried for days and days and beat myself up emotionally. I failed everyone, especially myself.
But nothing good comes from beating yourself up over what you cannot take back. I can't take back living on bagels and wine for an entire year. What I can do is fight to get back to 150lbs though.
So on January 12 I quit smoking, quit drinking every day and have reduced it to just Saturday's with my boyfriend at home versus my downtown-bad-habit-factory, and have gotten close to back to basics but allow myself some freedom - for example for lunch on days I work out I let myself have my chicken and veggies inside a wrap [carbs are my crack] instead of depriving myself of anything I want.
I want very badly to get back down to 150lbs... I'm terrified I never will and have somehow ruined this "one and only chance" I've made up in my head. Like I had this wonderful gift of being thin and now that I messed it up I'll never get it back, but I know that type of thinking won't help me. So I'm going to keep going and hopefully someday get back to it.
If you've actually made it this far, thank you, I really needed to get this horrible guilt off my chest. I feel like an absolute failure but getting it out helps.
So if I can give you guys any advice:
1. Yes you can gain it back, I'm an example.
2. Becoming an alcoholic is a real risk you need to watch out for post op.
3. You will be surprised how much food you can get into your body if you really try
4. If you quit smoking never pick it up again, I didn't even have a desire to smoke and managed to become a pack a day smoker again within a month. Not even one after you quit.
And most of all - NEVER EVER stop using your scale. I ignored what I was doing for so long and that's how I ended up gaining the amount I did. If I had just looked a couple months before and saw 175lbs I would've done what I'm doing now back then. I would have never let it get this bad if I had just swallowed my pride and looked. I'm lucky that I caught myself when I did because I was headed towards being morbidly obese again.
Good luck to you all - try not to make all the mistakes I did.
Here's to hoping I can look like this again

I've posted this thread in 2 other topics just to vent and hopefully help others not make my mistakes so if you see it more than once I'm sorry, getting this off my chest to more people just makes me feel better.
Before you have gastric bypass they warn you of a few things.
1. You can gain the weight back
2. Alcoholism is a possible side effect after surgery
3. food that used to fill you up or make you sick won't do that as much after awhile
4. Smoking cigarettes causes ulcers post-op
My mom always says no matter how much I'm warned - I've always had to learn every lesson the hard way. Gastric bypass was that way too.
My story is just a warning for all you guys out there - it's true, I'm the prime example of all the stuff they warn you about.
Hey, I'm Kaylee and I had my surgery when I was 20 years old on June 11, 2012. I was 280lbs. In less than 8 months I got down to 150 lbs, 130lbs lost.
For the first 9 months I was insanely strict. If it wasn't a lean Protein or a non-starchy vegetable I wouldn't eat it. Couldn't pay me to eat a carb. While this is good health wise and I'm sure made my surgical team sing - it was the start of my inevitable failure. I was so strict that after awhile all the foods I had denied myself even a nibble of became so enticing I felt ravenous.
My first screw up was picking up smoking again almost a year after I quit. Pure stupidity, I was just bored and thought I could do it socially, wrong. Got ulcers and have had them for over a year and a half. Without acid reducer pills I'm in a lot of pain.
Breaking that golden rule led me to break other rules because hey, I already screwed up right? I started having those forbidden foods I had not allowed myself to even look at for such a long time. Bites turned into mouth fulls turned into plate fulls.
Then came introducing wine back into my life. I suffer from depression and when you don't have to put effort into getting drunk anymore it is so appealing. I fought depression with wine and started drinking every single night - going through a box of wine every 3 days or so.
I then moved from sunny south Florida, away from all my friends, to cold Missouri in the middle of January 2014. I fell into a deep depression and my drinking got worse, and since I was waiting for all my stuff to arrive in the moving truck I lived off hot pockets, Bagels, pretty much anything I could toss in a microwave or toaster. I ate crap, drank daily and smoked like a chimney for pretty much the entire year of 2014, all the while pretending my scale didn't exist and convincing myself my clothes were shrinking and I wasn't getting bigger. I was too ashamed and terrified to look at the scale.< /p>
I finally got up the courage to face what I had done to myself the start of January 2015 and got on the scale. 204lbs. In the span of one year I had gained 54lbs. I felt disgusted with myself and cried for days and days and beat myself up emotionally. I failed everyone, especially myself.
But nothing good comes from beating yourself up over what you cannot take back. I can't take back living on bagels and wine for an entire year. What I can do is fight to get back to 150lbs though.
So on January 12 I quit smoking, quit drinking every day and have reduced it to just Saturday's with my boyfriend at home versus my downtown-bad-habit-factory, and have gotten close to back to basics but allow myself some freedom - for example for lunch on days I work out I let myself have my chicken and veggies inside a wrap [carbs are my crack] instead of depriving myself of anything I want.
I want very badly to get back down to 150lbs... I'm terrified I never will and have somehow ruined this "one and only chance" I've made up in my head. Like I had this wonderful gift of being thin and now that I messed it up I'll never get it back, but I know that type of thinking won't help me. So I'm going to keep going and hopefully someday get back to it.
If you've actually made it this far, thank you, I really needed to get this horrible guilt off my chest. I feel like an absolute failure but getting it out helps.
So if I can give you guys any advice:
1. Yes you can gain it back, I'm an example.
2. Becoming an alcoholic is a real risk you need to watch out for post op.
3. You will be surprised how much food you can get into your body if you really try
4. If you quit smoking never pick it up again, I didn't even have a desire to smoke and managed to become a pack a day smoker again within a month. Not even one after you quit.
And most of all - NEVER EVER stop using your scale. I ignored what I was doing for so long and that's how I ended up gaining the amount I did. If I had just looked a couple months before and saw 175lbs I would've done what I'm doing now back then. I would have never let it get this bad if I had just swallowed my pride and looked. I'm lucky that I caught myself when I did because I was headed towards being morbidly obese again.
Good luck to you all - try not to make all the mistakes I did.
Here's to hoping I can look like this again

I've posted this thread in 2 other topics just to vent and hopefully help others not make my mistakes so if you see it more than once I'm sorry, getting this off my chest to more people just makes me feel better.
Before you have gastric bypass they warn you of a few things.
1. You can gain the weight back
2. Alcoholism is a possible side effect after surgery
3. food that used to fill you up or make you sick won't do that as much after awhile
4. Smoking cigarettes causes ulcers post-op
My mom always says no matter how much I'm warned - I've always had to learn every lesson the hard way. Gastric bypass was that way too.
My story is just a warning for all you guys out there - it's true, I'm the prime example of all the stuff they warn you about.
Hey, I'm Kaylee and I had my surgery when I was 20 years old on June 11, 2012. I was 280lbs. In less than 8 months I got down to 150 lbs, 130lbs lost.
For the first 9 months I was insanely strict. If it wasn't a lean Protein or a non-starchy vegetable I wouldn't eat it. Couldn't pay me to eat a carb. While this is good health wise and I'm sure made my surgical team sing - it was the start of my inevitable failure. I was so strict that after awhile all the foods I had denied myself even a nibble of became so enticing I felt ravenous.
My first screw up was picking up smoking again almost a year after I quit. Pure stupidity, I was just bored and thought I could do it socially, wrong. Got ulcers and have had them for over a year and a half. Without acid reducer pills I'm in a lot of pain.
Breaking that golden rule led me to break other rules because hey, I already screwed up right? I started having those forbidden foods I had not allowed myself to even look at for such a long time. Bites turned into mouth fulls turned into plate fulls.
Then came introducing wine back into my life. I suffer from depression and when you don't have to put effort into getting drunk anymore it is so appealing. I fought depression with wine and started drinking every single night - going through a box of wine every 3 days or so.
I then moved from sunny south Florida, away from all my friends, to cold Missouri in the middle of January 2014. I fell into a deep depression and my drinking got worse, and since I was waiting for all my stuff to arrive in the moving truck I lived off hot pockets, Bagels, pretty much anything I could toss in a microwave or toaster. I ate crap, drank daily and smoked like a chimney for pretty much the entire year of 2014, all the while pretending my scale didn't exist and convincing myself my clothes were shrinking and I wasn't getting bigger. I was too ashamed and terrified to look at the scale.< /p>
I finally got up the courage to face what I had done to myself the start of January 2015 and got on the scale. 204lbs. In the span of one year I had gained 54lbs. I felt disgusted with myself and cried for days and days and beat myself up emotionally. I failed everyone, especially myself.
But nothing good comes from beating yourself up over what you cannot take back. I can't take back living on bagels and wine for an entire year. What I can do is fight to get back to 150lbs though.
So on January 12 I quit smoking, quit drinking every day and have reduced it to just Saturday's with my boyfriend at home versus my downtown-bad-habit-factory, and have gotten close to back to basics but allow myself some freedom - for example for lunch on days I work out I let myself have my chicken and veggies inside a wrap [carbs are my crack] instead of depriving myself of anything I want.
I want very badly to get back down to 150lbs... I'm terrified I never will and have somehow ruined this "one and only chance" I've made up in my head. Like I had this wonderful gift of being thin and now that I messed it up I'll never get it back, but I know that type of thinking won't help me. So I'm going to keep going and hopefully someday get back to it.
If you've actually made it this far, thank you, I really needed to get this horrible guilt off my chest. I feel like an absolute failure but getting it out helps.
So if I can give you guys any advice:
1. Yes you can gain it back, I'm an example.
2. Becoming an alcoholic is a real risk you need to watch out for post op.
3. You will be surprised how much food you can get into your body if you really try
4. If you quit smoking never pick it up again, I didn't even have a desire to smoke and managed to become a pack a day smoker again within a month. Not even one after you quit.
And most of all - NEVER EVER stop using your scale. I ignored what I was doing for so long and that's how I ended up gaining the amount I did. If I had just looked a couple months before and saw 175lbs I would've done what I'm doing now back then. I would have never let it get this bad if I had just swallowed my pride and looked. I'm lucky that I caught myself when I did because I was headed towards being morbidly obese again.
Good luck to you all - try not to make all the mistakes I did.
Here's to hoping I can look like this again

I've posted this thread in 2 other topics just to vent and hopefully help others not make my mistakes so if you see it more than once I'm sorry, getting this off my chest to more people just makes me feel better.
Before you have gastric bypass they warn you of a few things.
1. You can gain the weight back
2. Alcoholism is a possible side effect after surgery
3. food that used to fill you up or make you sick won't do that as much after awhile
4. Smoking cigarettes causes ulcers post-op
My mom always says no matter how much I'm warned - I've always had to learn every lesson the hard way. Gastric bypass was that way too.
My story is just a warning for all you guys out there - it's true, I'm the prime example of all the stuff they warn you about.
Hey, I'm Kaylee and I had my surgery when I was 20 years old on June 11, 2012. I was 280lbs. In less than 8 months I got down to 150 lbs, 130lbs lost.
For the first 9 months I was insanely strict. If it wasn't a lean Protein or a non-starchy vegetable I wouldn't eat it. Couldn't pay me to eat a carb. While this is good health wise and I'm sure made my surgical team sing - it was the start of my inevitable failure. I was so strict that after awhile all the foods I had denied myself even a nibble of became so enticing I felt ravenous.
My first screw up was picking up smoking again almost a year after I quit. Pure stupidity, I was just bored and thought I could do it socially, wrong. Got ulcers and have had them for over a year and a half. Without acid reducer pills I'm in a lot of pain.
Breaking that golden rule led me to break other rules because hey, I already screwed up right? I started having those forbidden foods I had not allowed myself to even look at for such a long time. Bites turned into mouth fulls turned into plate fulls.
Then came introducing wine back into my life. I suffer from depression and when you don't have to put effort into getting drunk anymore it is so appealing. I fought depression with wine and started drinking every single night - going through a box of wine every 3 days or so.
I then moved from sunny south Florida, away from all my friends, to cold Missouri in the middle of January 2014. I fell into a deep depression and my drinking got worse, and since I was waiting for all my stuff to arrive in the moving truck I lived off hot pockets, Bagels, pretty much anything I could toss in a microwave or toaster. I ate crap, drank daily and smoked like a chimney for pretty much the entire year of 2014, all the while pretending my scale didn't exist and convincing myself my clothes were shrinking and I wasn't getting bigger. I was too ashamed and terrified to look at the scale.< /p>
I finally got up the courage to face what I had done to myself the start of January 2015 and got on the scale. 204lbs. In the span of one year I had gained 54lbs. I felt disgusted with myself and cried for days and days and beat myself up emotionally. I failed everyone, especially myself.
But nothing good comes from beating yourself up over what you cannot take back. I can't take back living on bagels and wine for an entire year. What I can do is fight to get back to 150lbs though.
So on January 12 I quit smoking, quit drinking every day and have reduced it to just Saturday's with my boyfriend at home versus my downtown-bad-habit-factory, and have gotten close to back to basics but allow myself some freedom - for example for lunch on days I work out I let myself have my chicken and veggies inside a wrap [carbs are my crack] instead of depriving myself of anything I want.
I want very badly to get back down to 150lbs... I'm terrified I never will and have somehow ruined this "one and only chance" I've made up in my head. Like I had this wonderful gift of being thin and now that I messed it up I'll never get it back, but I know that type of thinking won't help me. So I'm going to keep going and hopefully someday get back to it.
If you've actually made it this far, thank you, I really needed to get this horrible guilt off my chest. I feel like an absolute failure but getting it out helps.
So if I can give you guys any advice:
1. Yes you can gain it back, I'm an example.
2. Becoming an alcoholic is a real risk you need to watch out for post op.
3. You will be surprised how much food you can get into your body if you really try
4. If you quit smoking never pick it up again, I didn't even have a desire to smoke and managed to become a pack a day smoker again within a month. Not even one after you quit.
And most of all - NEVER EVER stop using your scale. I ignored what I was doing for so long and that's how I ended up gaining the amount I did. If I had just looked a couple months before and saw 175lbs I would've done what I'm doing now back then. I would have never let it get this bad if I had just swallowed my pride and looked. I'm lucky that I caught myself when I did because I was headed towards being morbidly obese again.
Good luck to you all - try not to make all the mistakes I did.
Here's to hoping I can look like this again

I've posted this thread in 2 other topics just to vent and hopefully help others not make my mistakes so if you see it more than once I'm sorry, getting this off my chest to more people just makes me feel better.
Before you have gastric bypass they warn you of a few things.
1. You can gain the weight back
2. Alcoholism is a possible side effect after surgery
3. food that used to fill you up or make you sick won't do that as much after awhile
4. Smoking cigarettes causes ulcers post-op
My mom always says no matter how much I'm warned - I've always had to learn every lesson the hard way. Gastric bypass was that way too.
My story is just a warning for all you guys out there - it's true, I'm the prime example of all the stuff they warn you about.
Hey, I'm Kaylee and I had my surgery when I was 20 years old on June 11, 2012. I was 280lbs. In less than 8 months I got down to 150 lbs, 130lbs lost.
For the first 9 months I was insanely strict. If it wasn't a lean Protein or a non-starchy vegetable I wouldn't eat it. Couldn't pay me to eat a carb. While this is good health wise and I'm sure made my surgical team sing - it was the start of my inevitable failure. I was so strict that after awhile all the foods I had denied myself even a nibble of became so enticing I felt ravenous.
My first screw up was picking up smoking again almost a year after I quit. Pure stupidity, I was just bored and thought I could do it socially, wrong. Got ulcers and have had them for over a year and a half. Without acid reducer pills I'm in a lot of pain.
Breaking that golden rule led me to break other rules because hey, I already screwed up right? I started having those forbidden foods I had not allowed myself to even look at for such a long time. Bites turned into mouth fulls turned into plate fulls.
Then came introducing wine back into my life. I suffer from depression and when you don't have to put effort into getting drunk anymore it is so appealing. I fought depression with wine and started drinking every single night - going through a box of wine every 3 days or so.
I then moved from sunny south Florida, away from all my friends, to cold Missouri in the middle of January 2014. I fell into a deep depression and my drinking got worse, and since I was waiting for all my stuff to arrive in the moving truck I lived off hot pockets, Bagels, pretty much anything I could toss in a microwave or toaster. I ate crap, drank daily and smoked like a chimney for pretty much the entire year of 2014, all the while pretending my scale didn't exist and convincing myself my clothes were shrinking and I wasn't getting bigger. I was too ashamed and terrified to look at the scale.< /p>
I finally got up the courage to face what I had done to myself the start of January 2015 and got on the scale. 204lbs. In the span of one year I had gained 54lbs. I felt disgusted with myself and cried for days and days and beat myself up emotionally. I failed everyone, especially myself.
But nothing good comes from beating yourself up over what you cannot take back. I can't take back living on bagels and wine for an entire year. What I can do is fight to get back to 150lbs though.
So on January 12 I quit smoking, quit drinking every day and have reduced it to just Saturday's with my boyfriend at home versus my downtown-bad-habit-factory, and have gotten close to back to basics but allow myself some freedom - for example for lunch on days I work out I let myself have my chicken and veggies inside a wrap [carbs are my crack] instead of depriving myself of anything I want.
I want very badly to get back down to 150lbs... I'm terrified I never will and have somehow ruined this "one and only chance" I've made up in my head. Like I had this wonderful gift of being thin and now that I messed it up I'll never get it back, but I know that type of thinking won't help me. So I'm going to keep going and hopefully someday get back to it.
If you've actually made it this far, thank you, I really needed to get this horrible guilt off my chest. I feel like an absolute failure but getting it out helps.
So if I can give you guys any advice:
1. Yes you can gain it back, I'm an example.
2. Becoming an alcoholic is a real risk you need to watch out for post op.
3. You will be surprised how much food you can get into your body if you really try
4. If you quit smoking never pick it up again, I didn't even have a desire to smoke and managed to become a pack a day smoker again within a month. Not even one after you quit.
And most of all - NEVER EVER stop using your scale. I ignored what I was doing for so long and that's how I ended up gaining the amount I did. If I had just looked a couple months before and saw 175lbs I would've done what I'm doing now back then. I would have never let it get this bad if I had just swallowed my pride and looked. I'm lucky that I caught myself when I did because I was headed towards being morbidly obese again.
Good luck to you all - try not to make all the mistakes I did.
Here's to hoping I can look like this again

Right there with you. Granted my stresses weren't nearly as tragic as yours [my condolences, really, I can't imagine,] I too fell off the bandwagon and gained weight back over the last year [50lbs] and am now working to get back on track. Good luck! I know you can do it :]

I've posted this thread in 2 other topics just to vent and hopefully help others not make my mistakes so if you see it more than once I'm sorry, getting this off my chest to more people just makes me feel better.
Before you have gastric bypass they warn you of a few things.
1. You can gain the weight back
2. Alcoholism is a possible side effect after surgery
3. food that used to fill you up or make you sick won't do that as much after awhile
4. Smoking cigarettes causes ulcers post-op
My mom always says no matter how much I'm warned - I've always had to learn every lesson the hard way. Gastric bypass was that way too.
My story is just a warning for all you guys out there - it's true, I'm the prime example of all the stuff they warn you about.
Hey, I'm Kaylee and I had my surgery when I was 20 years old on June 11, 2012. I was 280lbs. In less than 8 months I got down to 150 lbs, 130lbs lost.
For the first 9 months I was insanely strict. If it wasn't a lean Protein or a non-starchy vegetable I wouldn't eat it. Couldn't pay me to eat a carb. While this is good health wise and I'm sure made my surgical team sing - it was the start of my inevitable failure. I was so strict that after awhile all the foods I had denied myself even a nibble of became so enticing I felt ravenous.
My first screw up was picking up smoking again almost a year after I quit. Pure stupidity, I was just bored and thought I could do it socially, wrong. Got ulcers and have had them for over a year and a half. Without acid reducer pills I'm in a lot of pain.
Breaking that golden rule led me to break other rules because hey, I already screwed up right? I started having those forbidden foods I had not allowed myself to even look at for such a long time. Bites turned into mouth fulls turned into plate fulls.
Then came introducing wine back into my life. I suffer from depression and when you don't have to put effort into getting drunk anymore it is so appealing. I fought depression with wine and started drinking every single night - going through a box of wine every 3 days or so.
I then moved from sunny south Florida, away from all my friends, to cold Missouri in the middle of January 2014. I fell into a deep depression and my drinking got worse, and since I was waiting for all my stuff to arrive in the moving truck I lived off hot pockets, Bagels, pretty much anything I could toss in a microwave or toaster. I ate crap, drank daily and smoked like a chimney for pretty much the entire year of 2014, all the while pretending my scale didn't exist and convincing myself my clothes were shrinking and I wasn't getting bigger. I was too ashamed and terrified to look at the scale.< /p>
I finally got up the courage to face what I had done to myself the start of January 2015 and got on the scale. 204lbs. In the span of one year I had gained 54lbs. I felt disgusted with myself and cried for days and days and beat myself up emotionally. I failed everyone, especially myself.
But nothing good comes from beating yourself up over what you cannot take back. I can't take back living on bagels and wine for an entire year. What I can do is fight to get back to 150lbs though.
So on January 12 I quit smoking, quit drinking every day and have reduced it to just Saturday's with my boyfriend at home versus my downtown-bad-habit-factory, and have gotten close to back to basics but allow myself some freedom - for example for lunch on days I work out I let myself have my chicken and veggies inside a wrap [carbs are my crack] instead of depriving myself of anything I want.
I want very badly to get back down to 150lbs... I'm terrified I never will and have somehow ruined this "one and only chance" I've made up in my head. Like I had this wonderful gift of being thin and now that I messed it up I'll never get it back, but I know that type of thinking won't help me. So I'm going to keep going and hopefully someday get back to it.
If you've actually made it this far, thank you, I really needed to get this horrible guilt off my chest. I feel like an absolute failure but getting it out helps.
So if I can give you guys any advice:
1. Yes you can gain it back, I'm an example.
2. Becoming an alcoholic is a real risk you need to watch out for post op.
3. You will be surprised how much food you can get into your body if you really try
4. If you quit smoking never pick it up again, I didn't even have a desire to smoke and managed to become a pack a day smoker again within a month. Not even one after you quit.
And most of all - NEVER EVER stop using your scale. I ignored what I was doing for so long and that's how I ended up gaining the amount I did. If I had just looked a couple months before and saw 175lbs I would've done what I'm doing now back then. I would have never let it get this bad if I had just swallowed my pride and looked. I'm lucky that I caught myself when I did because I was headed towards being morbidly obese again.
Good luck to you all - try not to make all the mistakes I did.
Here's to hoping I can look like this again

I've posted this thread in 2 other topics just to vent and hopefully help others not make my mistakes so if you see it more than once I'm sorry, getting this off my chest to more people just makes me feel better.
Before you have gastric bypass they warn you of a few things.
1. You can gain the weight back
2. Alcoholism is a possible side effect after surgery
3. food that used to fill you up or make you sick won't do that as much after awhile
4. Smoking cigarettes causes ulcers post-op
My mom always says no matter how much I'm warned - I've always had to learn every lesson the hard way. Gastric bypass was that way too.
My story is just a warning for all you guys out there - it's true, I'm the prime example of all the stuff they warn you about.
Hey, I'm Kaylee and I had my surgery when I was 20 years old on June 11, 2012. I was 280lbs. In less than 8 months I got down to 150 lbs, 130lbs lost.
For the first 9 months I was insanely strict. If it wasn't a lean Protein or a non-starchy vegetable I wouldn't eat it. Couldn't pay me to eat a carb. While this is good health wise and I'm sure made my surgical team sing - it was the start of my inevitable failure. I was so strict that after awhile all the foods I had denied myself even a nibble of became so enticing I felt ravenous.
My first screw up was picking up smoking again almost a year after I quit. Pure stupidity, I was just bored and thought I could do it socially, wrong. Got ulcers and have had them for over a year and a half. Without acid reducer pills I'm in a lot of pain.
Breaking that golden rule led me to break other rules because hey, I already screwed up right? I started having those forbidden foods I had not allowed myself to even look at for such a long time. Bites turned into mouth fulls turned into plate fulls.
Then came introducing wine back into my life. I suffer from depression and when you don't have to put effort into getting drunk anymore it is so appealing. I fought depression with wine and started drinking every single night - going through a box of wine every 3 days or so.
I then moved from sunny south Florida, away from all my friends, to cold Missouri in the middle of January 2014. I fell into a deep depression and my drinking got worse, and since I was waiting for all my stuff to arrive in the moving truck I lived off hot pockets, Bagels, pretty much anything I could toss in a microwave or toaster. I ate crap, drank daily and smoked like a chimney for pretty much the entire year of 2014, all the while pretending my scale didn't exist and convincing myself my clothes were shrinking and I wasn't getting bigger. I was too ashamed and terrified to look at the scale.< /p>
I finally got up the courage to face what I had done to myself the start of January 2015 and got on the scale. 204lbs. In the span of one year I had gained 54lbs. I felt disgusted with myself and cried for days and days and beat myself up emotionally. I failed everyone, especially myself.
But nothing good comes from beating yourself up over what you cannot take back. I can't take back living on bagels and wine for an entire year. What I can do is fight to get back to 150lbs though.
So on January 12 I quit smoking, quit drinking every day and have reduced it to just Saturday's with my boyfriend at home versus my downtown-bad-habit-factory, and have gotten close to back to basics but allow myself some freedom - for example for lunch on days I work out I let myself have my chicken and veggies inside a wrap [carbs are my crack] instead of depriving myself of anything I want.
I want very badly to get back down to 150lbs... I'm terrified I never will and have somehow ruined this "one and only chance" I've made up in my head. Like I had this wonderful gift of being thin and now that I messed it up I'll never get it back, but I know that type of thinking won't help me. So I'm going to keep going and hopefully someday get back to it.
If you've actually made it this far, thank you, I really needed to get this horrible guilt off my chest. I feel like an absolute failure but getting it out helps.
So if I can give you guys any advice:
1. Yes you can gain it back, I'm an example.
2. Becoming an alcoholic is a real risk you need to watch out for post op.
3. You will be surprised how much food you can get into your body if you really try
4. If you quit smoking never pick it up again, I didn't even have a desire to smoke and managed to become a pack a day smoker again within a month. Not even one after you quit.
And most of all - NEVER EVER stop using your scale. I ignored what I was doing for so long and that's how I ended up gaining the amount I did. If I had just looked a couple months before and saw 175lbs I would've done what I'm doing now back then. I would have never let it get this bad if I had just swallowed my pride and looked. I'm lucky that I caught myself when I did because I was headed towards being morbidly obese again.
Good luck to you all - try not to make all the mistakes I did.
Here's to hoping I can look like this again

Before you have gastric bypass they warn you of a few things.
1. You can gain the weight back
2. Alcoholism is a possible side effect after surgery
3. food that used to fill you up or make you sick won't do that as much after awhile
4. Smoking cigarettes causes ulcers post-op
My mom always says no matter how much I'm warned - I've always had to learn every lesson the hard way. Gastric bypass was that way too.
My story is just a warning for all you newbies out there - all the stuff they warn you about is real.
Hey, I'm Kaylee and I had my surgery when I was 20 years old on June 11, 2012. I was 280lbs. In less than 8 months I got down to 150 lbs, 130lbs lost.
For the first 9 months I was insanely strict. If it wasn't a lean Protein or a non-starchy vegetable I wouldn't eat it. Couldn't pay me to eat a carb. While this is good health wise and I'm sure made my surgical team sing - it was the start of my inevitable failure. I was so strict that after awhile all the foods I had denied myself even a nibble of became so enticing I felt ravenous.
My first screw up was picking up smoking again almost a year after I quit. Pure stupidity, I was just bored and thought I could do it socially, wrong. Got ulcers and have had them for over a year and a half. Without acid reducer pills I'm in a lot of pain.
Breaking that golden rule led me to break other rules because hey, I already screwed up right? I started having those forbidden foods I had not allowed myself to even look at for such a long time. Bites turned into mouth fulls turned into plate fulls.
Then came introducing wine back into my life. I suffer from depression and when you don't have to put effort into getting drunk anymore it is so appealing. I fought depression with wine and started drinking every single night - going through a box of wine every 3 days or so.
I then moved from sunny south Florida, away from all my friends, to cold Missouri in the middle of January 2014. I fell into a deep depression and my drinking got worse, and since I was waiting for all my stuff to arrive in the moving truck I lived off hot pockets, Bagels, pretty much anything I could toss in a microwave or toaster. I ate crap, drank daily and smoked like a chimney for pretty much the entire year of 2014, all the while pretending my scale didn't exist and convincing myself my clothes were shrinking and I wasn't getting bigger. I was too ashamed and terrified to look at the scale.< /p>
I finally got up the courage to face what I had done to myself the start of January 2015 and got on the scale. 204lbs. In the span of one year I had gained 54lbs. I felt disgusted with myself and cried for days and days and beat myself up emotionally. I failed everyone, especially myself.
But nothing good comes from beating yourself up over what you cannot take back. I can't take back living on bagels and wine for an entire year. What I can do is fight to get back to 150lbs though.
So on January 12 I quit smoking, quit drinking every day and have reduced it to just Saturday's with my boyfriend at home versus my downtown-bad-habit-factory, and have gotten close to back to basics but allow myself some freedom - for example for lunch on days I work out I let myself have my chicken and veggies inside a wrap [carbs are my crack] instead of depriving myself of anything I want.
I want very badly to get back down to 150lbs... I'm terrified I never will and have somehow ruined this "one and only chance" I've made up in my head. Like I had this wonderful gift of being thin and now that I messed it up I'll never get it back, but I know that type of thinking won't help me. So I'm going to keep going and hopefully someday get back to it.
If you've actually made it this far, thank you, I really needed to get this horrible guilt off my chest. I feel like an absolute failure but getting it out helps.
So advice to all you n00bs:
1. Yes you can gain it back, I'm an example.
2. Becoming an alcoholic is a real risk you need to watch out for post op.
3. You will be surprised how much food you can get into your body if you really try
4. If you quit smoking never pick it up again, I didn't even have a desire to smoke and managed to become a pack a day smoker again within a month. Not even one after you quit.
And most of all - NEVER EVER stop using your scale. I ignored what I was doing for so long and that's how I ended up gaining the amount I did. If I had just looked a couple months before and saw 175lbs I would've done what I'm doing now back then. I would have never let it get this bad if I had just swallowed my pride and looked. I'm lucky that I caught myself when I did because I was headed towards being morbidly obese again.
Good luck to you all - try not to make all the mistakes I did.
Here's to hoping I can look like this again

Before you have gastric bypass they warn you of a few things.
1. You can gain the weight back
2. Alcoholism is a possible side effect after surgery
3. food that used to fill you up or make you sick won't do that as much after awhile
4. Smoking cigarettes causes ulcers post-op
My mom always says no matter how much I'm warned - I've always had to learn every lesson the hard way. Gastric bypass was that way too.
My story is just a warning for all you newbies out there - all the stuff they warn you about is real.
Hey, I'm Kaylee and I had my surgery when I was 20 years old on June 11, 2012. I was 280lbs. In less than 8 months I got down to 150 lbs, 130lbs lost.
For the first 9 months I was insanely strict. If it wasn't a lean Protein or a non-starchy vegetable I wouldn't eat it. Couldn't pay me to eat a carb. While this is good health wise and I'm sure made my surgical team sing - it was the start of my inevitable failure. I was so strict that after awhile all the foods I had denied myself even a nibble of became so enticing I felt ravenous.
My first screw up was picking up smoking again almost a year after I quit. Pure stupidity, I was just bored and thought I could do it socially, wrong. Got ulcers and have had them for over a year and a half. Without acid reducer pills I'm in a lot of pain.
Breaking that golden rule led me to break other rules because hey, I already screwed up right? I started having those forbidden foods I had not allowed myself to even look at for such a long time. Bites turned into mouth fulls turned into plate fulls.
Then came introducing wine back into my life. I suffer from depression and when you don't have to put effort into getting drunk anymore it is so appealing. I fought depression with wine and started drinking every single night - going through a box of wine every 3 days or so.
I then moved from sunny south Florida, away from all my friends, to cold Missouri in the middle of January 2014. I fell into a deep depression and my drinking got worse, and since I was waiting for all my stuff to arrive in the moving truck I lived off hot pockets, Bagels, pretty much anything I could toss in a microwave or toaster. I ate crap, drank daily and smoked like a chimney for pretty much the entire year of 2014, all the while pretending my scale didn't exist and convincing myself my clothes were shrinking and I wasn't getting bigger. I was too ashamed and terrified to look at the scale.< /p>
I finally got up the courage to face what I had done to myself the start of January 2015 and got on the scale. 204lbs. In the span of one year I had gained 54lbs. I felt disgusted with myself and cried for days and days and beat myself up emotionally. I failed everyone, especially myself.
But nothing good comes from beating yourself up over what you cannot take back. I can't take back living on bagels and wine for an entire year. What I can do is fight to get back to 150lbs though.
So on January 12 I quit smoking, quit drinking every day and have reduced it to just Saturday's with my boyfriend at home versus my downtown-bad-habit-factory, and have gotten close to back to basics but allow myself some freedom - for example for lunch on days I work out I let myself have my chicken and veggies inside a wrap [carbs are my crack] instead of depriving myself of anything I want.
I want very badly to get back down to 150lbs... I'm terrified I never will and have somehow ruined this "one and only chance" I've made up in my head. Like I had this wonderful gift of being thin and now that I messed it up I'll never get it back, but I know that type of thinking won't help me. So I'm going to keep going and hopefully someday get back to it.
If you've actually made it this far, thank you, I really needed to get this horrible guilt off my chest. I feel like an absolute failure but getting it out helps.
So advice to all you n00bs:
1. Yes you can gain it back, I'm an example.
2. Becoming an alcoholic is a real risk you need to watch out for post op.
3. You will be surprised how much food you can get into your body if you really try
4. If you quit smoking never pick it up again, I didn't even have a desire to smoke and managed to become a pack a day smoker again within a month. Not even one after you quit.
And most of all - NEVER EVER stop using your scale. I ignored what I was doing for so long and that's how I ended up gaining the amount I did. If I had just looked a couple months before and saw 175lbs I would've done what I'm doing now back then. I would have never let it get this bad if I had just swallowed my pride and looked. I'm lucky that I caught myself when I did because I was headed towards being morbidly obese again.
Good luck to you all - try not to make all the mistakes I did.
Here's to hoping I can look like this again

Before you have gastric bypass they warn you of a few things.
1. You can gain the weight back
2. Alcoholism is a possible side effect after surgery
3. food that used to fill you up or make you sick won't do that as much after awhile
4. Smoking cigarettes causes ulcers post-op
My mom always says no matter how much I'm warned - I've always had to learn every lesson the hard way. Gastric bypass was that way too.
My story is just a warning for all you newbies out there - all the stuff they warn you about is real.
Hey, I'm Kaylee and I had my surgery when I was 20 years old on June 11, 2012. I was 280lbs. In less than 8 months I got down to 150 lbs, 130lbs lost.
For the first 9 months I was insanely strict. If it wasn't a lean Protein or a non-starchy vegetable I wouldn't eat it. Couldn't pay me to eat a carb. While this is good health wise and I'm sure made my surgical team sing - it was the start of my inevitable failure. I was so strict that after awhile all the foods I had denied myself even a nibble of became so enticing I felt ravenous.
My first screw up was picking up smoking again almost a year after I quit. Pure stupidity, I was just bored and thought I could do it socially, wrong. Got ulcers and have had them for over a year and a half. Without acid reducer pills I'm in a lot of pain.
Breaking that golden rule led me to break other rules because hey, I already screwed up right? I started having those forbidden foods I had not allowed myself to even look at for such a long time. Bites turned into mouth fulls turned into plate fulls.
Then came introducing wine back into my life. I suffer from depression and when you don't have to put effort into getting drunk anymore it is so appealing. I fought depression with wine and started drinking every single night - going through a box of wine every 3 days or so.
I then moved from sunny south Florida, away from all my friends, to cold Missouri in the middle of January 2014. I fell into a deep depression and my drinking got worse, and since I was waiting for all my stuff to arrive in the moving truck I lived off hot pockets, Bagels, pretty much anything I could toss in a microwave or toaster. I ate crap, drank daily and smoked like a chimney for pretty much the entire year of 2014, all the while pretending my scale didn't exist and convincing myself my clothes were shrinking and I wasn't getting bigger. I was too ashamed and terrified to look at the scale.< /p>
I finally got up the courage to face what I had done to myself the start of January 2015 and got on the scale. 204lbs. In the span of one year I had gained 54lbs. I felt disgusted with myself and cried for days and days and beat myself up emotionally. I failed everyone, especially myself.
But nothing good comes from beating yourself up over what you cannot take back. I can't take back living on bagels and wine for an entire year. What I can do is fight to get back to 150lbs though.
So on January 12 I quit smoking, quit drinking every day and have reduced it to just Saturday's with my boyfriend at home versus my downtown-bad-habit-factory, and have gotten close to back to basics but allow myself some freedom - for example for lunch on days I work out I let myself have my chicken and veggies inside a wrap [carbs are my crack] instead of depriving myself of anything I want.
I want very badly to get back down to 150lbs... I'm terrified I never will and have somehow ruined this "one and only chance" I've made up in my head. Like I had this wonderful gift of being thin and now that I messed it up I'll never get it back, but I know that type of thinking won't help me. So I'm going to keep going and hopefully someday get back to it.
If you've actually made it this far, thank you, I really needed to get this horrible guilt off my chest. I feel like an absolute failure but getting it out helps.
So advice to all you n00bs:
1. Yes you can gain it back, I'm an example.
2. Becoming an alcoholic is a real risk you need to watch out for post op.
3. You will be surprised how much food you can get into your body if you really try
4. If you quit smoking never pick it up again, I didn't even have a desire to smoke and managed to become a pack a day smoker again within a month. Not even one after you quit.
And most of all - NEVER EVER stop using your scale. I ignored what I was doing for so long and that's how I ended up gaining the amount I did. If I had just looked a couple months before and saw 175lbs I would've done what I'm doing now back then. I would have never let it get this bad if I had just swallowed my pride and looked. I'm lucky that I caught myself when I did because I was headed towards being morbidly obese again.
Good luck to you all - try not to make all the mistakes I did.
Here's to hoping I can look like this again

Before you have gastric bypass they warn you of a few things.
1. You can gain the weight back
2. Alcoholism is a possible side effect after surgery
3. food that used to fill you up or make you sick won't do that as much after awhile
4. Smoking cigarettes causes ulcers post-op
My mom always says no matter how much I'm warned - I've always had to learn every lesson the hard way. Gastric bypass was that way too.
My story is just a warning for all you newbies out there - all the stuff they warn you about is real.
Hey, I'm Kaylee and I had my surgery when I was 20 years old on June 11, 2012. I was 280lbs. In less than 8 months I got down to 150 lbs, 130lbs lost.
For the first 9 months I was insanely strict. If it wasn't a lean Protein or a non-starchy vegetable I wouldn't eat it. Couldn't pay me to eat a carb. While this is good health wise and I'm sure made my surgical team sing - it was the start of my inevitable failure. I was so strict that after awhile all the foods I had denied myself even a nibble of became so enticing I felt ravenous.
My first screw up was picking up smoking again almost a year after I quit. Pure stupidity, I was just bored and thought I could do it socially, wrong. Got ulcers and have had them for over a year and a half. Without acid reducer pills I'm in a lot of pain.
Breaking that golden rule led me to break other rules because hey, I already screwed up right? I started having those forbidden foods I had not allowed myself to even look at for such a long time. Bites turned into mouth fulls turned into plate fulls.
Then came introducing wine back into my life. I suffer from depression and when you don't have to put effort into getting drunk anymore it is so appealing. I fought depression with wine and started drinking every single night - going through a box of wine every 3 days or so.
I then moved from sunny south Florida, away from all my friends, to cold Missouri in the middle of January 2014. I fell into a deep depression and my drinking got worse, and since I was waiting for all my stuff to arrive in the moving truck I lived off hot pockets, Bagels, pretty much anything I could toss in a microwave or toaster. I ate crap, drank daily and smoked like a chimney for pretty much the entire year of 2014, all the while pretending my scale didn't exist and convincing myself my clothes were shrinking and I wasn't getting bigger. I was too ashamed and terrified to look at the scale.< /p>
I finally got up the courage to face what I had done to myself the start of January 2015 and got on the scale. 204lbs. In the span of one year I had gained 54lbs. I felt disgusted with myself and cried for days and days and beat myself up emotionally. I failed everyone, especially myself.
But nothing good comes from beating yourself up over what you cannot take back. I can't take back living on bagels and wine for an entire year. What I can do is fight to get back to 150lbs though.
So on January 12 I quit smoking, quit drinking every day and have reduced it to just Saturday's with my boyfriend at home versus my downtown-bad-habit-factory, and have gotten close to back to basics but allow myself some freedom - for example for lunch on days I work out I let myself have my chicken and veggies inside a wrap [carbs are my crack] instead of depriving myself of anything I want.
I want very badly to get back down to 150lbs... I'm terrified I never will and have somehow ruined this "one and only chance" I've made up in my head. Like I had this wonderful gift of being thin and now that I messed it up I'll never get it back, but I know that type of thinking won't help me. So I'm going to keep going and hopefully someday get back to it.
If you've actually made it this far, thank you, I really needed to get this horrible guilt off my chest. I feel like an absolute failure but getting it out helps.
So advice to all you n00bs:
1. Yes you can gain it back, I'm an example.
2. Becoming an alcoholic is a real risk you need to watch out for post op.
3. You will be surprised how much food you can get into your body if you really try
4. If you quit smoking never pick it up again, I didn't even have a desire to smoke and managed to become a pack a day smoker again within a month. Not even one after you quit.
And most of all - NEVER EVER stop using your scale. I ignored what I was doing for so long and that's how I ended up gaining the amount I did. If I had just looked a couple months before and saw 175lbs I would've done what I'm doing now back then. I would have never let it get this bad if I had just swallowed my pride and looked. I'm lucky that I caught myself when I did because I was headed towards being morbidly obese again.
Good luck to you all - try not to make all the mistakes I did.
Here's to hoping I can look like this again

Before you have gastric bypass they warn you of a few things.
1. You can gain the weight back
2. Alcoholism is a possible side effect after surgery
3. food that used to fill you up or make you sick won't do that as much after awhile
4. Smoking cigarettes causes ulcers post-op
My mom always says no matter how much I'm warned - I've always had to learn every lesson the hard way. Gastric bypass was that way too.
My story is just a warning for all you newbies out there - all the stuff they warn you about is real.
Hey, I'm Kaylee and I had my surgery when I was 20 years old on June 11, 2012. I was 280lbs. In less than 8 months I got down to 150 lbs, 130lbs lost.
For the first 9 months I was insanely strict. If it wasn't a lean Protein or a non-starchy vegetable I wouldn't eat it. Couldn't pay me to eat a carb. While this is good health wise and I'm sure made my surgical team sing - it was the start of my inevitable failure. I was so strict that after awhile all the foods I had denied myself even a nibble of became so enticing I felt ravenous.
My first screw up was picking up smoking again almost a year after I quit. Pure stupidity, I was just bored and thought I could do it socially, wrong. Got ulcers and have had them for over a year and a half. Without acid reducer pills I'm in a lot of pain.
Breaking that golden rule led me to break other rules because hey, I already screwed up right? I started having those forbidden foods I had not allowed myself to even look at for such a long time. Bites turned into mouth fulls turned into plate fulls.
Then came introducing wine back into my life. I suffer from depression and when you don't have to put effort into getting drunk anymore it is so appealing. I fought depression with wine and started drinking every single night - going through a box of wine every 3 days or so.
I then moved from sunny south Florida, away from all my friends, to cold Missouri in the middle of January 2014. I fell into a deep depression and my drinking got worse, and since I was waiting for all my stuff to arrive in the moving truck I lived off hot pockets, Bagels, pretty much anything I could toss in a microwave or toaster. I ate crap, drank daily and smoked like a chimney for pretty much the entire year of 2014, all the while pretending my scale didn't exist and convincing myself my clothes were shrinking and I wasn't getting bigger. I was too ashamed and terrified to look at the scale.< /p>
I finally got up the courage to face what I had done to myself the start of January 2015 and got on the scale. 204lbs. In the span of one year I had gained 54lbs. I felt disgusted with myself and cried for days and days and beat myself up emotionally. I failed everyone, especially myself.
But nothing good comes from beating yourself up over what you cannot take back. I can't take back living on bagels and wine for an entire year. What I can do is fight to get back to 150lbs though.
So on January 12 I quit smoking, quit drinking every day and have reduced it to just Saturday's with my boyfriend at home versus my downtown-bad-habit-factory, and have gotten close to back to basics but allow myself some freedom - for example for lunch on days I work out I let myself have my chicken and veggies inside a wrap [carbs are my crack] instead of depriving myself of anything I want.
I want very badly to get back down to 150lbs... I'm terrified I never will and have somehow ruined this "one and only chance" I've made up in my head. Like I had this wonderful gift of being thin and now that I messed it up I'll never get it back, but I know that type of thinking won't help me. So I'm going to keep going and hopefully someday get back to it.
If you've actually made it this far, thank you, I really needed to get this horrible guilt off my chest. I feel like an absolute failure but getting it out helps.
So advice to all you n00bs:
1. Yes you can gain it back, I'm an example.
2. Becoming an alcoholic is a real risk you need to watch out for post op.
3. You will be surprised how much food you can get into your body if you really try
4. If you quit smoking never pick it up again, I didn't even have a desire to smoke and managed to become a pack a day smoker again within a month. Not even one after you quit.
And most of all - NEVER EVER stop using your scale. I ignored what I was doing for so long and that's how I ended up gaining the amount I did. If I had just looked a couple months before and saw 175lbs I would've done what I'm doing now back then. I would have never let it get this bad if I had just swallowed my pride and looked. I'm lucky that I caught myself when I did because I was headed towards being morbidly obese again.
Good luck to you all - try not to make all the mistakes I did.
Here's to hoping I can look like this again

Before you have gastric bypass they warn you of a few things.
1. You can gain the weight back
2. Alcoholism is a possible side effect after surgery
3. food that used to fill you up or make you sick won't do that as much after awhile
4. Smoking cigarettes causes ulcers post-op
My mom always says no matter how much I'm warned - I've always had to learn every lesson the hard way. Gastric bypass was that way too.
My story is just a warning for all you newbies out there - all the stuff they warn you about is real.
Hey, I'm Kaylee and I had my surgery when I was 20 years old on June 11, 2012. I was 280lbs. In less than 8 months I got down to 150 lbs, 130lbs lost.
For the first 9 months I was insanely strict. If it wasn't a lean Protein or a non-starchy vegetable I wouldn't eat it. Couldn't pay me to eat a carb. While this is good health wise and I'm sure made my surgical team sing - it was the start of my inevitable failure. I was so strict that after awhile all the foods I had denied myself even a nibble of became so enticing I felt ravenous.
My first screw up was picking up smoking again almost a year after I quit. Pure stupidity, I was just bored and thought I could do it socially, wrong. Got ulcers and have had them for over a year and a half. Without acid reducer pills I'm in a lot of pain.
Breaking that golden rule led me to break other rules because hey, I already screwed up right? I started having those forbidden foods I had not allowed myself to even look at for such a long time. Bites turned into mouth fulls turned into plate fulls.
Then came introducing wine back into my life. I suffer from depression and when you don't have to put effort into getting drunk anymore it is so appealing. I fought depression with wine and started drinking every single night - going through a box of wine every 3 days or so.
I then moved from sunny south Florida, away from all my friends, to cold Missouri in the middle of January 2014. I fell into a deep depression and my drinking got worse, and since I was waiting for all my stuff to arrive in the moving truck I lived off hot pockets, Bagels, pretty much anything I could toss in a microwave or toaster. I ate crap, drank daily and smoked like a chimney for pretty much the entire year of 2014, all the while pretending my scale didn't exist and convincing myself my clothes were shrinking and I wasn't getting bigger. I was too ashamed and terrified to look at the scale.< /p>
I finally got up the courage to face what I had done to myself the start of January 2015 and got on the scale. 204lbs. In the span of one year I had gained 54lbs. I felt disgusted with myself and cried for days and days and beat myself up emotionally. I failed everyone, especially myself.
But nothing good comes from beating yourself up over what you cannot take back. I can't take back living on bagels and wine for an entire year. What I can do is fight to get back to 150lbs though.
So on January 12 I quit smoking, quit drinking every day and have reduced it to just Saturday's with my boyfriend at home versus my downtown-bad-habit-factory, and have gotten close to back to basics but allow myself some freedom - for example for lunch on days I work out I let myself have my chicken and veggies inside a wrap [carbs are my crack] instead of depriving myself of anything I want.
I want very badly to get back down to 150lbs... I'm terrified I never will and have somehow ruined this "one and only chance" I've made up in my head. Like I had this wonderful gift of being thin and now that I messed it up I'll never get it back, but I know that type of thinking won't help me. So I'm going to keep going and hopefully someday get back to it.
If you've actually made it this far, thank you, I really needed to get this horrible guilt off my chest. I feel like an absolute failure but getting it out helps.
So advice to all you n00bs:
1. Yes you can gain it back, I'm an example.
2. Becoming an alcoholic is a real risk you need to watch out for post op.
3. You will be surprised how much food you can get into your body if you really try
4. If you quit smoking never pick it up again, I didn't even have a desire to smoke and managed to become a pack a day smoker again within a month. Not even one after you quit.
And most of all - NEVER EVER stop using your scale. I ignored what I was doing for so long and that's how I ended up gaining the amount I did. If I had just looked a couple months before and saw 175lbs I would've done what I'm doing now back then. I would have never let it get this bad if I had just swallowed my pride and looked. I'm lucky that I caught myself when I did because I was headed towards being morbidly obese again.
Good luck to you all - try not to make all the mistakes I did.
Here's to hoping I can look like this again

I've posted this thread in 2 other topics just to vent and hopefully help others not make my mistakes so if you see it more than once I'm sorry, getting this off my chest to more people just makes me feel better.
Before you have gastric bypass they warn you of a few things.
1. You can gain the weight back
2. Alcoholism is a possible side effect after surgery
3. food that used to fill you up or make you sick won't do that as much after awhile
4. Smoking cigarettes causes ulcers post-op
My mom always says no matter how much I'm warned - I've always had to learn every lesson the hard way. Gastric bypass was that way too.
My story is just a warning for all you guys out there - it's true, I'm the prime example of all the stuff they warn you about.
Hey, I'm Kaylee and I had my surgery when I was 20 years old on June 11, 2012. I was 280lbs. In less than 8 months I got down to 150 lbs, 130lbs lost.
For the first 9 months I was insanely strict. If it wasn't a lean Protein or a non-starchy vegetable I wouldn't eat it. Couldn't pay me to eat a carb. While this is good health wise and I'm sure made my surgical team sing - it was the start of my inevitable failure. I was so strict that after awhile all the foods I had denied myself even a nibble of became so enticing I felt ravenous.
My first screw up was picking up smoking again almost a year after I quit. Pure stupidity, I was just bored and thought I could do it socially, wrong. Got ulcers and have had them for over a year and a half. Without acid reducer pills I'm in a lot of pain.
Breaking that golden rule led me to break other rules because hey, I already screwed up right? I started having those forbidden foods I had not allowed myself to even look at for such a long time. Bites turned into mouth fulls turned into plate fulls.
Then came introducing wine back into my life. I suffer from depression and when you don't have to put effort into getting drunk anymore it is so appealing. I fought depression with wine and started drinking every single night - going through a box of wine every 3 days or so.
I then moved from sunny south Florida, away from all my friends, to cold Missouri in the middle of January 2014. I fell into a deep depression and my drinking got worse, and since I was waiting for all my stuff to arrive in the moving truck I lived off hot pockets, Bagels, pretty much anything I could toss in a microwave or toaster. I ate crap, drank daily and smoked like a chimney for pretty much the entire year of 2014, all the while pretending my scale didn't exist and convincing myself my clothes were shrinking and I wasn't getting bigger. I was too ashamed and terrified to look at the scale.< /p>
I finally got up the courage to face what I had done to myself the start of January 2015 and got on the scale. 204lbs. In the span of one year I had gained 54lbs. I felt disgusted with myself and cried for days and days and beat myself up emotionally. I failed everyone, especially myself.
But nothing good comes from beating yourself up over what you cannot take back. I can't take back living on bagels and wine for an entire year. What I can do is fight to get back to 150lbs though.
So on January 12 I quit smoking, quit drinking every day and have reduced it to just Saturday's with my boyfriend at home versus my downtown-bad-habit-factory, and have gotten close to back to basics but allow myself some freedom - for example for lunch on days I work out I let myself have my chicken and veggies inside a wrap [carbs are my crack] instead of depriving myself of anything I want.
I want very badly to get back down to 150lbs... I'm terrified I never will and have somehow ruined this "one and only chance" I've made up in my head. Like I had this wonderful gift of being thin and now that I messed it up I'll never get it back, but I know that type of thinking won't help me. So I'm going to keep going and hopefully someday get back to it.
If you've actually made it this far, thank you, I really needed to get this horrible guilt off my chest. I feel like an absolute failure but getting it out helps.
So if I can give you guys any advice:
1. Yes you can gain it back, I'm an example.
2. Becoming an alcoholic is a real risk you need to watch out for post op.
3. You will be surprised how much food you can get into your body if you really try
4. If you quit smoking never pick it up again, I didn't even have a desire to smoke and managed to become a pack a day smoker again within a month. Not even one after you quit.
And most of all - NEVER EVER stop using your scale. I ignored what I was doing for so long and that's how I ended up gaining the amount I did. If I had just looked a couple months before and saw 175lbs I would've done what I'm doing now back then. I would have never let it get this bad if I had just swallowed my pride and looked. I'm lucky that I caught myself when I did because I was headed towards being morbidly obese again.
Good luck to you all - try not to make all the mistakes I did.
Here's to hoping I can look like this again

I've posted this thread in 2 other topics just to vent and hopefully help others not make my mistakes so if you see it more than once I'm sorry, getting this off my chest to more people just makes me feel better.
Before you have gastric bypass they warn you of a few things.
1. You can gain the weight back
2. Alcoholism is a possible side effect after surgery
3. food that used to fill you up or make you sick won't do that as much after awhile
4. Smoking cigarettes causes ulcers post-op
My mom always says no matter how much I'm warned - I've always had to learn every lesson the hard way. Gastric bypass was that way too.
My story is just a warning for all you guys out there - it's true, I'm the prime example of all the stuff they warn you about.
Hey, I'm Kaylee and I had my surgery when I was 20 years old on June 11, 2012. I was 280lbs. In less than 8 months I got down to 150 lbs, 130lbs lost.
For the first 9 months I was insanely strict. If it wasn't a lean Protein or a non-starchy vegetable I wouldn't eat it. Couldn't pay me to eat a carb. While this is good health wise and I'm sure made my surgical team sing - it was the start of my inevitable failure. I was so strict that after awhile all the foods I had denied myself even a nibble of became so enticing I felt ravenous.
My first screw up was picking up smoking again almost a year after I quit. Pure stupidity, I was just bored and thought I could do it socially, wrong. Got ulcers and have had them for over a year and a half. Without acid reducer pills I'm in a lot of pain.
Breaking that golden rule led me to break other rules because hey, I already screwed up right? I started having those forbidden foods I had not allowed myself to even look at for such a long time. Bites turned into mouth fulls turned into plate fulls.
Then came introducing wine back into my life. I suffer from depression and when you don't have to put effort into getting drunk anymore it is so appealing. I fought depression with wine and started drinking every single night - going through a box of wine every 3 days or so.
I then moved from sunny south Florida, away from all my friends, to cold Missouri in the middle of January 2014. I fell into a deep depression and my drinking got worse, and since I was waiting for all my stuff to arrive in the moving truck I lived off hot pockets, Bagels, pretty much anything I could toss in a microwave or toaster. I ate crap, drank daily and smoked like a chimney for pretty much the entire year of 2014, all the while pretending my scale didn't exist and convincing myself my clothes were shrinking and I wasn't getting bigger. I was too ashamed and terrified to look at the scale.< /p>
I finally got up the courage to face what I had done to myself the start of January 2015 and got on the scale. 204lbs. In the span of one year I had gained 54lbs. I felt disgusted with myself and cried for days and days and beat myself up emotionally. I failed everyone, especially myself.
But nothing good comes from beating yourself up over what you cannot take back. I can't take back living on bagels and wine for an entire year. What I can do is fight to get back to 150lbs though.
So on January 12 I quit smoking, quit drinking every day and have reduced it to just Saturday's with my boyfriend at home versus my downtown-bad-habit-factory, and have gotten close to back to basics but allow myself some freedom - for example for lunch on days I work out I let myself have my chicken and veggies inside a wrap [carbs are my crack] instead of depriving myself of anything I want.
I want very badly to get back down to 150lbs... I'm terrified I never will and have somehow ruined this "one and only chance" I've made up in my head. Like I had this wonderful gift of being thin and now that I messed it up I'll never get it back, but I know that type of thinking won't help me. So I'm going to keep going and hopefully someday get back to it.
If you've actually made it this far, thank you, I really needed to get this horrible guilt off my chest. I feel like an absolute failure but getting it out helps.
So if I can give you guys any advice:
1. Yes you can gain it back, I'm an example.
2. Becoming an alcoholic is a real risk you need to watch out for post op.
3. You will be surprised how much food you can get into your body if you really try
4. If you quit smoking never pick it up again, I didn't even have a desire to smoke and managed to become a pack a day smoker again within a month. Not even one after you quit.
And most of all - NEVER EVER stop using your scale. I ignored what I was doing for so long and that's how I ended up gaining the amount I did. If I had just looked a couple months before and saw 175lbs I would've done what I'm doing now back then. I would have never let it get this bad if I had just swallowed my pride and looked. I'm lucky that I caught myself when I did because I was headed towards being morbidly obese again.
Good luck to you all - try not to make all the mistakes I did.
Here's to hoping I can look like this again