LindafromFlorida

Good post Hawk. Your opinion matters and I needed a little humor today, lol! Personally I cancelled our 6 month appointment for follow up with the Nut because I could not get straight answers. I can guess as good as she can. I also could not get straight answers from other medical professionals concerning my husband's severe diabetic problems, and thanks to Bariatric Pal we did find more information during the process. Sometimes you have to trust your gut instinct that you are doing the right thing.

There is another thread ongoing right now, and Shersun adds this to her post. I don't take anything personal unless it's a compliment.
I am a lot older than most people here. I have been posting since ?October, 2013, and never met a bxxxx here. Please look at the number of posts I have made. I am opinionated (like your Grandma lol). I try to roll gently and give good, solid, and kind advice, and I probably target more older people because bariatric surgery can be a life or death matter for some, like my husband. This site is to build people up. Please do not take a few snarky posts and turn it into something. Bariatric Pal is the best thing going. In almost a year, I have seen two people stomp off and say I am done here. Well I can tell you it is their loss, because there are many kind and wonderful human beings here, committed to helping each other. I would not have it any other way here. I can tell you if I think you are hurting yourself if you ask me a question, and if you get mad that I said you should not do this, does that make me a bad person? Relax and make friends here. It is awesome!!!!!! Linda

Good post Hawk. Your opinion matters and I needed a little humor today, lol! Personally I cancelled our 6 month appointment for follow up with the Nut because I could not get straight answers. I can guess as good as she can. I also could not get straight answers from other medical professionals concerning my husband's severe diabetic problems, and thanks to Bariatric Pal we did find more information during the process. Sometimes you have to trust your gut instinct that you are doing the right thing.

I didn't read most of the 13 pages of posts but want to put in my 2 cents on the main topic of this post.
This site is great because it brings together people who are or are headed to the same destination - WLS but often from very different perspectives. Every insurance company has different requirements, every surgeon has different procedures and every dietitian has different opinions. Thus, pre-op plans and post-op phases can be very different for each of us. For example, my pre-op diet was 3 shakes, 2 bars, unlimited vegetables and 3oz Protein per day. Others have been liquid only. Those are vastly different but neither is wrong or dangerous.
Some people ask questions because their process left them with little guidance. Others may ask questions to compare advice given by different providers. Some people are worried about everything - especially that their results are not normal. It is also true that some people are just plain stupid.
I think it is fine to post a general rant about your general perceptions as to others' knowledge, commitment, dedication etc based on their posts. It is something else to attack someone who asks a question directly - even if it is a stupid question. Nothing useful can come from that.
I for one am the type of person to look at everything critically - including advice from my doctors and dietitians and I would encourage everyone to do the same, This site is one of my resources. Just a couple examples - My soft foods diet from my dietitian says I can have ground turkey but that ground beef is a "problem food" and that I can have mashed potatoes, whole grain crackers and whole grain bread while at the same time saying that a ritz cracker or white bread is a "problem food." That doesn't make a ton of sense to me. Does problem food mean that there is a danger of splitting my sleeve open if I eat ground beef instead of ground turkey?
Many providers have a way of answering questions without really giving you a straight answer. Maybe I come on here and ask a question to help me decide if my dietitian is telling me that ground beef is a problem food because it is fattier than ground turkey or if it is actually dangerous at this phase. I might not even want to or intend on eating ground beef but I want others' input as to what their programs are telling them. I don't need or want to be called names, accused of being a failure and otherwise lectured for that question. My thought is that if your inclination is to do one of those things, just move on to the next topic.
The alcohol one is a great example. Many providers say no alcohol for a certain period of time. Is it because it is dangerous? Is it because it is empty calories? Why do they say that? For me, I asked my surgeon if I could have a drink at a special occasion 5 weeks after surgery. He said yes. He warned that alcohol is empty calories and something that can hinder weight loss. Perhaps someone else's dr. said no. By posting here and asking the question, the person could learn what other's doctors have said and could then ask appropriate follow-up questions of his or her doctor to learn why the dr. said no. If the dr explains that it is just empty calories, the person could choose to ignore the doctor. If the dr says based on your history it could be dangerous because of x, y and z, the person now knows why it is unsafe for them to have a drink.
Aww heck I don't even remember my point anymore. Perhaps the thing to take from it all is some people are stupid and some people are jerks and there is no reason to interact with either of those types or get worked up by anything they post,

I'm 61 yrs old, I am on disability the past 2 years due to my weight and complications from diabetes,but I was sleeved in Feb. 2014, I dropped weight quickly the first 2 months, thought "this is too easy" weight loss has slowed now but still loosing. I take a Water aerobics class 3 times a week and can now walk a little farther and move alot better..I'm trying to keep up with my grandchildren and I think if I keep at this I will be good to go lots more places that require walking next summer.

I was sleeved this past Tuesday, I'm 61, and only a few years from retirement and I don't want to be semi invalid when I get there. I've been heavy most of my life, and I carried the weight OK, so I paid no immediate price for it. But, obesity works it's damage slowly and the past couple of years my knees and back have been giving me more problems, this past year I was almost unable to walk from hip pain and was diagnosed with moderate arthritus of the hip. I asked the orthopedic doctor, what do we do? He said, it's too late the damage is done, getting some weight off it will hold off replacement surgery for a while. That's when it really clicked, I'm crushing my joints and I've been damaging my body for years. So this is it, I had to do something drastic, hopefully I'll buy myself some healthy time in the years I have left.

I was sleeved July 23rd. I was worried about my age (65) but the only problem i am having is getting enough liquid. Still don't have much stamina but supposed to be going back to work on Aug. 25th. That worries me a little bit but I feel stronger and better each day so hoping to be ok by then.
The only pain I've had was from the gas for the first few days but nothing else at all unless you count the Constipation I suffered through for about 14 hrs. Horrible pain but everything came out all right in the end. ​

Yeeesh!  This type of statement makes me so sad.  From reading this thread, it seems that some women went into the "affair" with him, eyes wide open, looking for a little fun and were not at all hurt by it.  The other women, also consenting, read so much more into it and were hurt very much by what happened.  Either way, no one has said these "affairs" happened without consent and because of his position, I consider them all victims, no matter which category they fell into.
 
To joke about them becoming what amounts to a carnival side show is not at all funny, IMO.  It runs along the same vein as "sl*t shaming" and that's not acceptable.

There is another thread ongoing right now, and Shersun adds this to her post. I don't take anything personal unless it's a compliment.
I am a lot older than most people here. I have been posting since ?October, 2013, and never met a bxxxx here. Please look at the number of posts I have made. I am opinionated (like your Grandma lol). I try to roll gently and give good, solid, and kind advice, and I probably target more older people because bariatric surgery can be a life or death matter for some, like my husband. This site is to build people up. Please do not take a few snarky posts and turn it into something. Bariatric Pal is the best thing going. In almost a year, I have seen two people stomp off and say I am done here. Well I can tell you it is their loss, because there are many kind and wonderful human beings here, committed to helping each other. I would not have it any other way here. I can tell you if I think you are hurting yourself if you ask me a question, and if you get mad that I said you should not do this, does that make me a bad person? Relax and make friends here. It is awesome!!!!!! Linda

Relax, not judging you! Life is good! I am far from perfect and I know I got a bit snide at times. But I guarantee 97% of my 1,781 posts have been helpful and encouraging with the exception of one thread I have gotten really upset about some wrongdoing. Sometimes Hopeful I think we can get caught up in the haters' rants, and we all know we cannot make everyone happy. Just stay with us, relax, and cheer the best you can, and when someone is ranting, try to find the positive or leave the topic. This is working for me!!!!

There is another thread ongoing right now, and Shersun adds this to her post. I don't take anything personal unless it's a compliment.
I am a lot older than most people here. I have been posting since ?October, 2013, and never met a bxxxx here. Please look at the number of posts I have made. I am opinionated (like your Grandma lol). I try to roll gently and give good, solid, and kind advice, and I probably target more older people because bariatric surgery can be a life or death matter for some, like my husband. This site is to build people up. Please do not take a few snarky posts and turn it into something. Bariatric Pal is the best thing going. In almost a year, I have seen two people stomp off and say I am done here. Well I can tell you it is their loss, because there are many kind and wonderful human beings here, committed to helping each other. I would not have it any other way here. I can tell you if I think you are hurting yourself if you ask me a question, and if you get mad that I said you should not do this, does that make me a bad person? Relax and make friends here. It is awesome!!!!!! Linda

Maybe not so much rude people ...................maybe just dumb. Smile, shake your head and move on. Avoid the negatives, focus on the positives. Don't dwell on stupid remarks. Instead, look for a post and be an inspiration to someone else and it will brighten your day to hear a heartfelt thank you. God Bless, Linda

Maybe not so much rude people ...................maybe just dumb. Smile, shake your head and move on. Avoid the negatives, focus on the positives. Don't dwell on stupid remarks. Instead, look for a post and be an inspiration to someone else and it will brighten your day to hear a heartfelt thank you. God Bless, Linda

imma post this again. it seems sometimes people get so focused on what others are doing, they lose sight of why they actually come to bariatric pal in the first place.
this is probably the worst analogy to use for us, but, here it goes.... when you go to a buffet and there is a dish there you dont like, do you get angry and rage at the chef for making and offering you something you dont like? do you feel offended and take it personally? do you feel like the chef's choice was made specifically as a way to hurt you? do you feel so hurt you tell the chef you can only eat the other food if he/she stops making all the food you dont care for? probably not.
most likely what you do is say, "oh what is that over there that i do like?" and you move on to choose the dishes you do like. you dont let those dishes you dont like ruin your meal or wreck the enjoyment of the food you do like.
online forums are exactly the same way. people will offer you all kinds of things. you get to pick and choose what you want to take in. you need not get angry, enraged, offended, take it personal, or allow it to wreck your experience here at bariatric pal. take what you want, leave the rest. of course its your choice. but ultimately, your experience here is your responsibility, no one else's..... only you can choose your attitude.

There is another thread ongoing right now, and Shersun adds this to her post. I don't take anything personal unless it's a compliment.
I am a lot older than most people here. I have been posting since ?October, 2013, and never met a bxxxx here. Please look at the number of posts I have made. I am opinionated (like your Grandma lol). I try to roll gently and give good, solid, and kind advice, and I probably target more older people because bariatric surgery can be a life or death matter for some, like my husband. This site is to build people up. Please do not take a few snarky posts and turn it into something. Bariatric Pal is the best thing going. In almost a year, I have seen two people stomp off and say I am done here. Well I can tell you it is their loss, because there are many kind and wonderful human beings here, committed to helping each other. I would not have it any other way here. I can tell you if I think you are hurting yourself if you ask me a question, and if you get mad that I said you should not do this, does that make me a bad person? Relax and make friends here. It is awesome!!!!!! Linda

There is another thread ongoing right now, and Shersun adds this to her post. I don't take anything personal unless it's a compliment.
I am a lot older than most people here. I have been posting since ?October, 2013, and never met a bxxxx here. Please look at the number of posts I have made. I am opinionated (like your Grandma lol). I try to roll gently and give good, solid, and kind advice, and I probably target more older people because bariatric surgery can be a life or death matter for some, like my husband. This site is to build people up. Please do not take a few snarky posts and turn it into something. Bariatric Pal is the best thing going. In almost a year, I have seen two people stomp off and say I am done here. Well I can tell you it is their loss, because there are many kind and wonderful human beings here, committed to helping each other. I would not have it any other way here. I can tell you if I think you are hurting yourself if you ask me a question, and if you get mad that I said you should not do this, does that make me a bad person? Relax and make friends here. It is awesome!!!!!! Linda

There is another thread ongoing right now, and Shersun adds this to her post. I don't take anything personal unless it's a compliment.
I am a lot older than most people here. I have been posting since ?October, 2013, and never met a bxxxx here. Please look at the number of posts I have made. I am opinionated (like your Grandma lol). I try to roll gently and give good, solid, and kind advice, and I probably target more older people because bariatric surgery can be a life or death matter for some, like my husband. This site is to build people up. Please do not take a few snarky posts and turn it into something. Bariatric Pal is the best thing going. In almost a year, I have seen two people stomp off and say I am done here. Well I can tell you it is their loss, because there are many kind and wonderful human beings here, committed to helping each other. I would not have it any other way here. I can tell you if I think you are hurting yourself if you ask me a question, and if you get mad that I said you should not do this, does that make me a bad person? Relax and make friends here. It is awesome!!!!!! Linda

There is another thread ongoing right now, and Shersun adds this to her post. I don't take anything personal unless it's a compliment.
I am a lot older than most people here. I have been posting since ?October, 2013, and never met a bxxxx here. Please look at the number of posts I have made. I am opinionated (like your Grandma lol). I try to roll gently and give good, solid, and kind advice, and I probably target more older people because bariatric surgery can be a life or death matter for some, like my husband. This site is to build people up. Please do not take a few snarky posts and turn it into something. Bariatric Pal is the best thing going. In almost a year, I have seen two people stomp off and say I am done here. Well I can tell you it is their loss, because there are many kind and wonderful human beings here, committed to helping each other. I would not have it any other way here. I can tell you if I think you are hurting yourself if you ask me a question, and if you get mad that I said you should not do this, does that make me a bad person? Relax and make friends here. It is awesome!!!!!! Linda

There is another thread ongoing right now, and Shersun adds this to her post. I don't take anything personal unless it's a compliment.
I am a lot older than most people here. I have been posting since ?October, 2013, and never met a bxxxx here. Please look at the number of posts I have made. I am opinionated (like your Grandma lol). I try to roll gently and give good, solid, and kind advice, and I probably target more older people because bariatric surgery can be a life or death matter for some, like my husband. This site is to build people up. Please do not take a few snarky posts and turn it into something. Bariatric Pal is the best thing going. In almost a year, I have seen two people stomp off and say I am done here. Well I can tell you it is their loss, because there are many kind and wonderful human beings here, committed to helping each other. I would not have it any other way here. I can tell you if I think you are hurting yourself if you ask me a question, and if you get mad that I said you should not do this, does that make me a bad person? Relax and make friends here. It is awesome!!!!!! Linda

Gosh, the answers are so different. Less than 24 hours in the hospital, one dose of pain med at home, at the grocery 2 days later (drove myself), shopped at the mall 5 days later. No nausea, just high on happiness but rested anyway. Never in 9 months have my husband and I had a problem with the sleeve. We are 68/67 years old, and down 100 lbs and 60 lbs. You will get tired of the liquids, the mush, the shakes, whatever....but we all did it and you will too. Just become an expert on your health and nutrition, and never ask someone here what should you do if you have a medical problem. Trust your gut instinct and call that surgeon! My best wishes to you! Linda

Well, you just go ahead and rant ! That's what this place is for ! Congratulations on your weight loss ! Way to go ! As for the negative comments ? People dont stop and think before they speak, they just put out their opinions without thinking of how the other person will feel. So, stand up for yourself , politely but firmly ! ( And by the way, whether you lose "another 20 lbs " or not, you're STILL HOT , because being HOT is a state of mind, not a body size ! Just sayin '.......................)

Two things:
Some of the people you are hanging out with are effing idiots.
You know how you can encourage them to keep saying hurtful things to you? Just never tell them to stop saying things like that. Never give them the feedback that these comments are not welcome. Never have the "uncomfortable" conversations that "nice people" never have. But just take their abuse. And keep taking it. Keep smiling even though you'd like to punch them in the face. Because we weren't raised to be assertive.
But we can learn to be assertive. All it takes is practice.
Best wishes.

Please correct me if im wrong, but did I miss something ? Ive seen about 98 % positive remarks, and 2% negitive / snarky. Occasionally we all have a bad day, are cranky, vent a little too strongly, etc. We're human, and not perfect. But bullying ? Never seen it here. Do I need glasses ? Just wondering what I did'nt see, as I would'nt like anyone to think I was ever "bullying " etc for having a strong opinion. Just wondering. ................

There is another thread ongoing right now, and Shersun adds this to her post. I don't take anything personal unless it's a compliment.
I am a lot older than most people here. I have been posting since ?October, 2013, and never met a bxxxx here. Please look at the number of posts I have made. I am opinionated (like your Grandma lol). I try to roll gently and give good, solid, and kind advice, and I probably target more older people because bariatric surgery can be a life or death matter for some, like my husband. This site is to build people up. Please do not take a few snarky posts and turn it into something. Bariatric Pal is the best thing going. In almost a year, I have seen two people stomp off and say I am done here. Well I can tell you it is their loss, because there are many kind and wonderful human beings here, committed to helping each other. I would not have it any other way here. I can tell you if I think you are hurting yourself if you ask me a question, and if you get mad that I said you should not do this, does that make me a bad person? Relax and make friends here. It is awesome!!!!!! Linda

I must be blind as I haven't seen a single negative posting, all I've read over the past few weeks is positive responses and honesty. I for one appreciate honesty.