vsginkc

So...today I am starting my liquid diet. According to surgeon's orders, I am supposed to start 1 week from surgery (i.e., surgery on Aug. 22, start liquids on Aug. 15). I'm starting now because I'm so exhausted by all my food drama. I have been eating like I'm preparing for a frickin' electric chair. Literally eating into a food coma some days. It feels horrible. I know that discipline is going to be part of this new, healthier life so I might as well start this week. If nothing else, it will allow me to break this carb-bender/crazy maker. Also, this is the week of making some pre-surgery changes. I wish I would have done all of this a lot sooner, but I didn't..... So - Monday starts liquid diet. Thursday is my stop smoking date (2 weeks pre-surgery). I CAN DO THIS! God help me.

18 days til surgery. Having all kinds of second thoughts but in my heart of hearts I know this is the right decision for me. I've gained and lost the same 70 lbs over, and over, and over, and over again. Now, at 40, the weight is catching up with me. PCOS, high cholesterol, horrible knee pain, insulin resistance. It's time. I think what is getting me the worst right now is how much I am committing to an entirely new lifestyle and there is no going back. For me, this isn't just about food. It is about smoking, using food as comfort, not drinking. Those are three BIG changes for me. And part of my fear is that I just can't imagine that I am capable of this. God please help me. Help soothe my nerves and my fears and stand with me through this process so that I might better do your will.