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vsginkc's Blog

A blog by vsginkc in General

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    14

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About this blog

My journey to healthy

Entries in this blog

Day 2 post-op report

Today has been pretty uneventful. I slept all day. Literally. I got up every 4 hours to walk a little and drink a little and do some deep breathing. Then...back to bed. I got in 32oz of fluids (and I'm sure I can get in another 10 or 15 oz). As far as I'm concerned, this is pretty amazing.   I thought very seriously about going to my kids' soccer games this morning -- that's how ok I feel. I ended up staying home just because it is Africa hot here and I knew I could sleep.   My tummy

Report on surgery!

Day of surgery: I pop out of bed at 6:30 am because I am SO excited to get this over with. My sister drives me to the surgery center. I ask my surgeon again what are the chances that I'm going to die. My surgeon smiles and says he has done over 5,000 of these and he's never lost a patient. That helps some. I still beg for some "chill out" meds. They give me some and all seems okay. Then, the mask and that's all I remember until waking up in recovery.   Recovery: I woke up feeling very

'Twas the night before surgery

I have to tell you guys -- this is bizarre, but I'm actually doing ok all things considered. I'm feeling a little squirrley, but for the most part, I'm just excited it is almost here!   For those of you who are behind me in terms of timing on this journey, here have been the most challenging parts of this process:   1. Making the decision. Until I literally put down money (I'm self pay), I was having a constant dialogue about "should I or shouldn't I." It was exhausting.   2. Mourning

I can't believe surgery is tomorrow!

After all the obsessing, the second-guessing, the tears, the food funerals, the binges "pre the pre-op," the failures on the pre-op, the successes on the pre-op, the hours reading on this site. And now.... the surgery is tomorrow!   Some musings:   --As I've posted, as surgery gets closer, I get calmer. Or at least that has been true up until today. I am going to post tonight to see if I start freaking out again, but right now I am solid and confident that this will all go well and I'll

Liquid diet - You guys were right!

Okay...so.... I have been HORRIBLE about the pre-op diet. Was supposed to start 7 days in advance. Cheated my way through the first three days, including one of my "old" binges, i.e., eat carbs until stomach hurts then go sleep it off in a food coma. I got on the "real" diet 2 days ago and IT DOES GET EASIER just like you guys told me! I actually feel pretty darn good this morning. Now...the caveat is the usual caveat on my blog...I'm always better in the morning. Still....this is huge pro

What a difference a day makes

Hello friends! Thanks to all who posted the kind, encouraging comments. I can't tell you how much it means - really helped snap me out of the funk. With the caveat that I'm always happier in the morning (vs. evening when I'm hungry and tired), I will say that today it all seems bearable. I stuck to the pre-op diet perfectly yesterday (although I had more than one sugar free popsickle...!). Today, I am committed to doing it again, no matter how hungry and headachy I get. If you guys can do

Confession-There's no point in sugarcoating it (pun intended!)

No sense lying on this blog. I went on a carb bender last night. I'm scheduled to be sleeved on Aug. 22 and am supposed to be on a liquid diet. Note: if you are thinking about posting a comment telling me that maybe I'm not ready for surgery (mentally or physically) or how dangerous this is, etc., please do us both a favor and refrain. Nothing you could say could make me feel worse than I already do.   Not looking for excuses but instead explanations so that I don't let this happen agai

4 days til surgery and I'm not ready for this!

Hello friends. I'm feeling very out of sorts and scared at the moment. I am on Day 3 of the pre-op liquid only diet and I am feeling INSANE. I'm hungry, angry, lonely, and tired. And it is making me question everything about this surgery. I gave up smoking and drinking for this surgery and it is really hitting home how much I have used food to comfort myself. I know these are all healthy, adult changes to make - and I just turned 40 -- it's time to GROW UP. At the same time, maybe I have

Mornings are better than evenings (6 days til surgery)

I woke up happy, joyous, and free this morning. I had a dream last night that my two BFFs were trying to talk me out of surgery and saying, "Just try one more time to do it on your own." I responded, "IT WON'T WORK." I woke up feeling so secure about my decision. The feeling I had in the dream is so right on - I have tried and tried and tried and tried. And even if I could take off 75lbs, the chances of me keeping it off are slim. Also, on Good Morning America today they showed results of

One week from today, surgery will be over!

I can't believe surgery is one week from today. It's strange because the closer it gets, the more calm I feel. The weeks leading up to now have been pretty miserable because I've done so much worrying. Strange that, now that surgery is closer, I feel better about it. One of the hardest things about preparing for surgery was the month long food funeral. I know that others talk about how healthy they were pre-op, etc. etc. and that always makes me feel bad. I was the opposite. I felt like

All that has to change is EVERYTHING

Today is my last day of smoking. It is a nasty, smelly, expensive, unhealthy habit that I will be so glad to be rid of! I feel the same way about this food addiction. I'm so ready to make this change. In many ways I wish I could hibernate for these next two weeks and wake up with surgery behind me. But I need to remember that this part of the process is really important too. It is allowing me to really be aware of how big a role food (and cigarettes) play in my life. This sounds horrible

Sanity today - thank you liquid diet!

Hello friends! What a WONDERFUL support group I have found online. I just can't tell you how much I appreciate the encouraging comments. Today's update: Went to bed last night after reading on here about 2 people dying after surgery. Not sure if it's true but leave it to me to find something to be scared about and obsess on. Went to bed nervous, questioning, and resolving to update my will before surgery. This morning.... sanity has returned. Here's today's gift: I am GRATEFUL to be on

Liquid diet today...my orders, not the surgeon's!

So...today I am starting my liquid diet. According to surgeon's orders, I am supposed to start 1 week from surgery (i.e., surgery on Aug. 22, start liquids on Aug. 15). I'm starting now because I'm so exhausted by all my food drama. I have been eating like I'm preparing for a frickin' electric chair. Literally eating into a food coma some days. It feels horrible. I know that discipline is going to be part of this new, healthier life so I might as well start this week. If nothing else, it

So here I am... part old me; part new me; mostly scared me.

18 days til surgery. Having all kinds of second thoughts but in my heart of hearts I know this is the right decision for me. I've gained and lost the same 70 lbs over, and over, and over, and over again. Now, at 40, the weight is catching up with me. PCOS, high cholesterol, horrible knee pain, insulin resistance. It's time. I think what is getting me the worst right now is how much I am committing to an entirely new lifestyle and there is no going back. For me, this isn't just about food.

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