Madam Reverie

Yes, Fother Muckers.... Apparently so.
I'm a normal BMI.
I can't believe it, either!
Has anything changed? No, it hasn't. I buy smaller clothes, but I still see a zeppelin in the mirror. I have major body dysmorphia (sp/ph).
Does anyone love me more? No, not really. My girlfriends keep slapping my ass saying 'how f****ing long are your legs?!!!'; does it make me feel better? No.
What it has done is make me feel.. conspicuous.... I don't like it...
Years hiding in the shadows and all of a sudden I'm 'out there'... and its made me feel very insecure about other things. It appears I have swapped one set of insecurities for more... A lot more. At this stage, I'm happy (truly I am) and I'm turning down the voices that are telling me other things in my head. Every day it is a struggle. But I am trying.
As for the metric heads? Yes, I have hit goal. Realised I had done it today. Does it mean much? No. Because I have greater things to worry about. Body Dysmorphia being one of them.
But... I couldn't have got 'here' without the surgery and without all of you. For that, I am eternally grateful - despite my need for refined sugar! (and a chemical peel!)
Meh, what can I say? I'm exhausted (house move, mother with cancer, employment issues, fiance who threw me under the bus)
But, I'm still here and still smiling. I'll leave you with a picture of me with my beautiful nieces after I'd sparked them up on Halloween. They're so beautiful, intelligent and funny. I love them; like I love you all.
-x-
Revs

Yes, Fother Muckers.... Apparently so.
I'm a normal BMI.
I can't believe it, either!
Has anything changed? No, it hasn't. I buy smaller clothes, but I still see a zeppelin in the mirror. I have major body dysmorphia (sp/ph).
Does anyone love me more? No, not really. My girlfriends keep slapping my ass saying 'how f****ing long are your legs?!!!'; does it make me feel better? No.
What it has done is make me feel.. conspicuous.... I don't like it...
Years hiding in the shadows and all of a sudden I'm 'out there'... and its made me feel very insecure about other things. It appears I have swapped one set of insecurities for more... A lot more. At this stage, I'm happy (truly I am) and I'm turning down the voices that are telling me other things in my head. Every day it is a struggle. But I am trying.
As for the metric heads? Yes, I have hit goal. Realised I had done it today. Does it mean much? No. Because I have greater things to worry about. Body Dysmorphia being one of them.
But... I couldn't have got 'here' without the surgery and without all of you. For that, I am eternally grateful - despite my need for refined sugar! (and a chemical peel!)
Meh, what can I say? I'm exhausted (house move, mother with cancer, employment issues, fiance who threw me under the bus)
But, I'm still here and still smiling. I'll leave you with a picture of me with my beautiful nieces after I'd sparked them up on Halloween. They're so beautiful, intelligent and funny. I love them; like I love you all.
-x-
Revs

Yes, Fother Muckers.... Apparently so.
I'm a normal BMI.
I can't believe it, either!
Has anything changed? No, it hasn't. I buy smaller clothes, but I still see a zeppelin in the mirror. I have major body dysmorphia (sp/ph).
Does anyone love me more? No, not really. My girlfriends keep slapping my ass saying 'how f****ing long are your legs?!!!'; does it make me feel better? No.
What it has done is make me feel.. conspicuous.... I don't like it...
Years hiding in the shadows and all of a sudden I'm 'out there'... and its made me feel very insecure about other things. It appears I have swapped one set of insecurities for more... A lot more. At this stage, I'm happy (truly I am) and I'm turning down the voices that are telling me other things in my head. Every day it is a struggle. But I am trying.
As for the metric heads? Yes, I have hit goal. Realised I had done it today. Does it mean much? No. Because I have greater things to worry about. Body Dysmorphia being one of them.
But... I couldn't have got 'here' without the surgery and without all of you. For that, I am eternally grateful - despite my need for refined sugar! (and a chemical peel!)
Meh, what can I say? I'm exhausted (house move, mother with cancer, employment issues, fiance who threw me under the bus)
But, I'm still here and still smiling. I'll leave you with a picture of me with my beautiful nieces after I'd sparked them up on Halloween. They're so beautiful, intelligent and funny. I love them; like I love you all.
-x-
Revs

Yes, Fother Muckers.... Apparently so.
I'm a normal BMI.
I can't believe it, either!
Has anything changed? No, it hasn't. I buy smaller clothes, but I still see a zeppelin in the mirror. I have major body dysmorphia (sp/ph).
Does anyone love me more? No, not really. My girlfriends keep slapping my ass saying 'how f****ing long are your legs?!!!'; does it make me feel better? No.
What it has done is make me feel.. conspicuous.... I don't like it...
Years hiding in the shadows and all of a sudden I'm 'out there'... and its made me feel very insecure about other things. It appears I have swapped one set of insecurities for more... A lot more. At this stage, I'm happy (truly I am) and I'm turning down the voices that are telling me other things in my head. Every day it is a struggle. But I am trying.
As for the metric heads? Yes, I have hit goal. Realised I had done it today. Does it mean much? No. Because I have greater things to worry about. Body Dysmorphia being one of them.
But... I couldn't have got 'here' without the surgery and without all of you. For that, I am eternally grateful - despite my need for refined sugar! (and a chemical peel!)
Meh, what can I say? I'm exhausted (house move, mother with cancer, employment issues, fiance who threw me under the bus)
But, I'm still here and still smiling. I'll leave you with a picture of me with my beautiful nieces after I'd sparked them up on Halloween. They're so beautiful, intelligent and funny. I love them; like I love you all.
-x-
Revs

Nice Job! Ain't Normal grand?!

Glad to hear that you are OK and hanging in there with us. Yeah, that mirror thing is a bummer. Mine is a circus mirror, too.

So the common theme on me is that I just throw out whatever I'm thinking. Hmmm... I "blame" the brain tumor. They must have removed my filter when they took out the lemon growing in my head. HA!

I am OH SO THANKFUL for all of you who understand that I speak my mind with the best of intentions (usually -- sometimes the sarcasm pops out) and love me anyways. I love you back.

Jesus H Titty f****ing Christ. I typed out love, life and the universe and I lost it. Don't like this website!
So, who cares? I'm still here fother muckers. Life has been very difficult for me recently, but I'm still lurking. I'm still head above the Water. Miss you lot, but life got in the way. Sorry x
As the film once said : You create it, she will come.....
You created it... I came. Not in the biblical sense, you understand. If I had, it'd be the immaculate f***ing conception!
Oh, who am I kidding, I'm practically the virgin Mary!
But if you call, I shall come. Love you all xx

Jesus H Titty f****ing Christ. I typed out love, life and the universe and I lost it. Don't like this website!
So, who cares? I'm still here fother muckers. Life has been very difficult for me recently, but I'm still lurking. I'm still head above the Water. Miss you lot, but life got in the way. Sorry x
As the film once said : You create it, she will come.....
You created it... I came. Not in the biblical sense, you understand. If I had, it'd be the immaculate f***ing conception!
Oh, who am I kidding, I'm practically the virgin Mary!
But if you call, I shall come. Love you all xx

Jesus H Titty f****ing Christ. I typed out love, life and the universe and I lost it. Don't like this website!
So, who cares? I'm still here fother muckers. Life has been very difficult for me recently, but I'm still lurking. I'm still head above the Water. Miss you lot, but life got in the way. Sorry x
As the film once said : You create it, she will come.....
You created it... I came. Not in the biblical sense, you understand. If I had, it'd be the immaculate f***ing conception!
Oh, who am I kidding, I'm practically the virgin Mary!
But if you call, I shall come. Love you all xx

Jesus H Titty f****ing Christ. I typed out love, life and the universe and I lost it. Don't like this website!
So, who cares? I'm still here fother muckers. Life has been very difficult for me recently, but I'm still lurking. I'm still head above the Water. Miss you lot, but life got in the way. Sorry x
As the film once said : You create it, she will come.....
You created it... I came. Not in the biblical sense, you understand. If I had, it'd be the immaculate f***ing conception!
Oh, who am I kidding, I'm practically the virgin Mary!
But if you call, I shall come. Love you all xx

Yes, Fother Muckers.... Apparently so.
I'm a normal BMI.
I can't believe it, either!
Has anything changed? No, it hasn't. I buy smaller clothes, but I still see a zeppelin in the mirror. I have major body dysmorphia (sp/ph).
Does anyone love me more? No, not really. My girlfriends keep slapping my ass saying 'how f****ing long are your legs?!!!'; does it make me feel better? No.
What it has done is make me feel.. conspicuous.... I don't like it...
Years hiding in the shadows and all of a sudden I'm 'out there'... and its made me feel very insecure about other things. It appears I have swapped one set of insecurities for more... A lot more. At this stage, I'm happy (truly I am) and I'm turning down the voices that are telling me other things in my head. Every day it is a struggle. But I am trying.
As for the metric heads? Yes, I have hit goal. Realised I had done it today. Does it mean much? No. Because I have greater things to worry about. Body Dysmorphia being one of them.
But... I couldn't have got 'here' without the surgery and without all of you. For that, I am eternally grateful - despite my need for refined sugar! (and a chemical peel!)
Meh, what can I say? I'm exhausted (house move, mother with cancer, employment issues, fiance who threw me under the bus)
But, I'm still here and still smiling. I'll leave you with a picture of me with my beautiful nieces after I'd sparked them up on Halloween. They're so beautiful, intelligent and funny. I love them; like I love you all.
-x-
Revs

Jesus H Titty f****ing Christ. I typed out love, life and the universe and I lost it. Don't like this website!
So, who cares? I'm still here fother muckers. Life has been very difficult for me recently, but I'm still lurking. I'm still head above the Water. Miss you lot, but life got in the way. Sorry x
As the film once said : You create it, she will come.....
You created it... I came. Not in the biblical sense, you understand. If I had, it'd be the immaculate f***ing conception!
Oh, who am I kidding, I'm practically the virgin Mary!
But if you call, I shall come. Love you all xx

Congrats! Great post.

I am grateful to all of you.
Started reading this site January 2014 and made the decision after reading all the complications first, that the positive outweighed those negatives
I want to thank everyone who came before me and posted for doing so

Yes, Fother Muckers.... Apparently so.
I'm a normal BMI.
I can't believe it, either!
Has anything changed? No, it hasn't. I buy smaller clothes, but I still see a zeppelin in the mirror. I have major body dysmorphia (sp/ph).
Does anyone love me more? No, not really. My girlfriends keep slapping my ass saying 'how f****ing long are your legs?!!!'; does it make me feel better? No.
What it has done is make me feel.. conspicuous.... I don't like it...
Years hiding in the shadows and all of a sudden I'm 'out there'... and its made me feel very insecure about other things. It appears I have swapped one set of insecurities for more... A lot more. At this stage, I'm happy (truly I am) and I'm turning down the voices that are telling me other things in my head. Every day it is a struggle. But I am trying.
As for the metric heads? Yes, I have hit goal. Realised I had done it today. Does it mean much? No. Because I have greater things to worry about. Body Dysmorphia being one of them.
But... I couldn't have got 'here' without the surgery and without all of you. For that, I am eternally grateful - despite my need for refined sugar! (and a chemical peel!)
Meh, what can I say? I'm exhausted (house move, mother with cancer, employment issues, fiance who threw me under the bus)
But, I'm still here and still smiling. I'll leave you with a picture of me with my beautiful nieces after I'd sparked them up on Halloween. They're so beautiful, intelligent and funny. I love them; like I love you all.
-x-
Revs

Jesus H Titty f****ing Christ. I typed out love, life and the universe and I lost it. Don't like this website!
So, who cares? I'm still here fother muckers. Life has been very difficult for me recently, but I'm still lurking. I'm still head above the Water. Miss you lot, but life got in the way. Sorry x
As the film once said : You create it, she will come.....
You created it... I came. Not in the biblical sense, you understand. If I had, it'd be the immaculate f***ing conception!
Oh, who am I kidding, I'm practically the virgin Mary!
But if you call, I shall come. Love you all xx

Jesus H Titty f****ing Christ. I typed out love, life and the universe and I lost it. Don't like this website!
So, who cares? I'm still here fother muckers. Life has been very difficult for me recently, but I'm still lurking. I'm still head above the Water. Miss you lot, but life got in the way. Sorry x
As the film once said : You create it, she will come.....
You created it... I came. Not in the biblical sense, you understand. If I had, it'd be the immaculate f***ing conception!
Oh, who am I kidding, I'm practically the virgin Mary!
But if you call, I shall come. Love you all xx

What a very tough call.
I am not a parent, so I wouldn't even dream of adding anything on the pros and cons side of this. Nor have I been to Mexico - which is truly the information you're after.
What I will say though, as an adult that was fat all the way through my adolescence ...
What progressive parents you are for avidly exploring all the options. I commend you for being so open-minded.
I spoke about weight loss surgery to my mother when I was 14 ish.. She laughed me out of the room with a sneer of derision.
How totally different my life would have been if I had not had to endure the years of heartache that my weight had caused.
The smashed self-esteem, the mocking, the insecurity, the skewed perception of relationships, my inferiority complex. It goes on and on... and it impacted upon EVERYTHING which then in turn, hugely influenced my adulthood.
I hope you get all the information you can and for it to be quality information - without judgement or derision.
My thoughts are with you and your daughter and wish you all the best of luck -in whatever you decide.

I have PCOS and had my surgery on Thursday night - so I'm two days out. Took the decision to stop my Metformin two months ago to see if my body will 'heal' itself naturally. Besides, Metformin makes you super fertile if you're a PCOS-er with periods and I don't fancy the pitter-patter of untimely feet - just yet! I'll let you know how I get on xxx

My Darlings,
I haven't been here for a while and whilst I won't make apologies for this -had a lot going on in life (my dearest mother has been, well, not well at all- and my friend who put false nails on me one day ago, has a lot to answer for in this immediate typing nightmare) it would be churlish and remiss to not acknowledge this milestone. A milestone I'm hugely proud of.
So, Fother, Muckers, what have we learnt?
1) Your friends or family (if that's who you choose to tell) are everything. Fact. Real and internet based. If you're blessed - you make friends on here that stay with you forever. I have that. I am blessed. For the newbies.. hold tight... life is good if you make friend(s) like I have. Put yourself out there. Lets share this journey together... (yes, I used the vomit-worthy term 'journey'). I told none of my family.... but I have gained a lifelong friend off of here... and she is a true blessing in my life. If you're dancing in corners. Stop it. Dance in the lights and meet wonderful people. I know you've been shy... or the diametric opposite as a cover...seriously.... open your hearts. We're all scared...But when you're open and vulnerable - that's when the best things happen. Go on. Surprise yourself x
2) It all feels like shite at the start.... 8 months out and you're rocking it. You find your groove. Don't lie to yourself. Stop trying to ram your old favourites down your neck. You're lying to yourself if you are. Just f*****ig stop it. No one will listen to you griping and well, you're just lying to yourself. If you're sat there thinking 'who the f**** is this biatch'...It's someone who lied to herself.. and then realised she felt shit if she didn't eat the right foods. As good as carbs taste? You'll feel sated (and hugely over -bloated) and then feel empty. There's a reason why the old guard on here tell you to eat right. Just choose Protein... Fact.
3) Don't sit in judgement. You don't know everything. If you do? Become a researcher for Steven Hawking/Pinker. I am a judgemental SOAB - but every day on here - someone taught me something new. I'm contrite. But f**** me... if people don't stretch the intellectual conditions of the positions to which we've found ourselves...this site will become an 8 month cyclical repository of predictable shite. Push the boundaries, folks. Keep asking those questions and keep supporting others. To the 'old guard' be very grateful....... To the newbies, be patient (something I'm trying to learn)
4) Okay, I could go on forever and ever.. about HUGE subjects that impact upon us all after the surgery. If it clarifies things for people.. I split up with my fiance.. I realised me siblings had left my mother in a position of destitution...But I look f******* hot now.. and thats come from a strength from within that I never realised I had and was not all about the looks. I have changed the world around me. A world I wasn't happy with. A world around me that the people i most cared about weren't happy with. I am FULLY representing. Big deep breaths... What you want.. what you need.... what the people you need desire of you, is seriously within your grasp.
In short, my loves..
Don't BS yourselves and others. You want it? Go get it. Its out there. (Oh, for the metric heads, i'm 5-odd stone down..)
If anyone would like to stay in touch? Please.I'm always here.. (Just be prepared for the sarcastic Revs, if you're not taking real x)
Love you all. You're all very very special. Part of a club of balsy people that the naturally skinny will NEVER understand.
x Revs x
( A little bit drunk, too!) x

Last time I bought lingerie..
I tried it on...
Showed the man...
He smiled and said 'yep.. it's lovely.. but it's gonna look better on the floor'...

You're most welcome - sincerely.
I hate to admit it, but I'm a verbose SOB.. So typing war and peace takes very little time for me.
Regular Tolstoy, I am... Just glad it made sense.
I wish you and your family the best of luck.
x

I know this is going to be tough, because you have all this excitement and new found zest for life.. But in order to minimise the reactions.. which appear to be all negative... you're going to have to limit how much you squeal and bounce around with excitement.
If you can stand in your husbands shoes: Is he overweight himself? Is he seeing these massive changes and wondering how he fits in to this any more? Is he being a bit childish and resentful, because nothing this exciting is happening to him? Is his ego taking a bit of a bashing? Is he fundamentally fearful he's going to lose you and resentful that YOU are the one who changed your family's dynamic?
Your children's shoes: Are they just bored to tears of hearing about it? Are they, too, a bit miffed that they haven't got anything this exciting going on in their lives? Are they feeding off the negativity coming from your husband because they, too, might recognise that YOU are the one who changed what they knew and upset the applecart because of the change in family dynamic?
You have every right to want to sing from the hill tops - but a little appreciation of how they are viewing things, might be useful. It might not change their opinions - but by talking to them gently, attempting to understand their position, you might be able to temper your enthusiasm for your new path (which might make them feel like you're leaving them behind) and try and find ways to integrate them and make things more inclusive.
Humans don't like change. None of us do. When we choose to make a change in the form of this surgery, we're already 3/4 of the way to embracing all the good things that happen. Rarely we look at all the potential negatives. I would hazard a guess your husband is resentful. Your kids are bored and reacting to your husbands negativity. The friends are probably a little jealous of the excitement in your life, because they don't have the same in theirs. It would be interesting to hear if your friends are there to support you in your current difficulties with your husband.... But, and before you try broaching that subject with them...
All of this boils down to people who are sitting their thinking 'what about me?'. I know this is crapadoodle, because everyone feels they have the right to be happy and the right to be supported and damnit, the right to be excited! Sadly, most people are a little bit selfish and whilst they're seeing you happier by the day, they're not feeling so happy. They probably feel that they need more of your attentions and sympathies for their circumstances..
Try talking to all of them. Don't mention your surgery at all. Ask them how THEY are doing. If they become animated and engaged, you know that was the problem. If they don't, then you might be looking for something else. With the husband? You might want to tread carefully with that one and not mention the surgery for a while... As awful as it sounds, do a bit of ego soothing for him and see if this garners a positive reaction. If it does.. Then you know what it was.
Sad as it is, you might have to keep your excited Carlton Banks dancing in your smaller trousers in your room, just to yourself and for a little while. Just until the waters are calmed and their reserves of emotional generosity are topped up enough to give you what you are after and what you fundamentally deserve.

Fascinating... 1 in 14 had dilation (that's a low figure on balance)
And physical ghrelin compensation should be considered....
That's the little beast that makes us hungry. Ergo, there are cerebral and hormonal checks and balances which potentially need to come into play more heavily to ensure, along with dietry compliance, that we stay on the straight and narrow.
I'll be honest. I'm 6 months out and I am hungry. I was not one of the lucky ones whose appetite disappeared. I cannot eat a huge amount in one sitting, but I can surely graze regularly. I'm not saying I'm chowing down on horrendous things either, but I can absolutely state that at 5 months, my capacity to eat went up considerably and I see, personally, that I'm going to have to really work at this - for life. Its almost like its the same beast which beat me up daily before the surgery.
i concur with the statements in the report. I would also advocate they channel the research funding into working out how to combat the ghrelin and physical compensatory mechanism. After all, it is well proven that someone who loses their sight, often get acute hearing abilities.
This is where I feel the weakness in this procedure, for the majority of us and due to the fact that for most, follow-up care is minimal, lies.
Scary stuff...