Yes, Fother Muckers.... Apparently so.

I'm a normal BMI.

I can't believe it, either!

Has anything changed? No, it hasn't. I buy smaller clothes, but I still see a zeppelin in the mirror. I have major body dysmorphia (sp/ph).

Does anyone love me more? No, not really. My girlfriends keep slapping my ass saying 'how f****ing long are your legs?!!!'; does it make me feel better? No.

What it has done is make me feel.. conspicuous.... I don't like it...

Years hiding in the shadows and all of a sudden I'm 'out there'... and its made me feel very insecure about other things. It appears I have swapped one set of insecurities for more... A lot more. At this stage, I'm happy (truly I am) and I'm turning down the voices that are telling me other things in my head. Every day it is a struggle. But I am trying.

As for the metric heads? Yes, I have hit goal. Realised I had done it today. Does it mean much? No. Because I have greater things to worry about. Body Dysmorphia being one of them.

But... I couldn't have got 'here' without the surgery and without all of you. For that, I am eternally grateful - despite my need for refined sugar! (and a chemical peel!)

Meh, what can I say? I'm exhausted (house move, mother with cancer, employment issues, fiance who threw me under the bus)

But, I'm still here and still smiling. I'll leave you with a picture of me with my beautiful nieces after I'd sparked them up on Halloween. They're so beautiful, intelligent and funny. I love them; like I love you all.

-x-

Revs

Congrats! Great post.

Congrats! Great post.

Thank you, my dear

Glad to hear that you are OK and hanging in there with us. Yeah, that mirror thing is a bummer. Mine is a circus mirror, too.

Nice Job! Ain't Normal grand?!

How you see yourself in the mirror is normal too. At least my psychologist told me I would be the last to accept I'm not over weight anymore. I'll take that problem any day of the week. Congrats!

The dysmorphia is a bizarre phenomenon. The changes I wanted are here but it's still all sort of surreal.

Things will improve for you all around, I have no doubt. You deserve it and even more important, you are an intelligent (and beautiful) woman, you can and will create the life you want.

When I hit "normal", I kept waiting for the balloons and confetti to drop. It never did. My broken mirror keeps focusing on stupid things like my FFOPA (folded-fat-over-pelvic-area)

I have to laugh at my naked self, though. In the mirror, I see a blob wearing a "Janet " suit. My skin dangles haphazardly from different areas and the girls have gone from 44DD to 36 long! I definitely see the humor in this reflection.

On the days this gets me down, I tuck my mushy 53 year old ass into my size 6 skinny jeans , zip up my knee boots put on something sparkly, and say "screw it. I've got this!".

Stupid lying mirrors.

Revs -- I am do happy to see your beautiful, smiling face! I'm still not "normal," but I think even when I arrive there, I'll feel much like you. Life will keep plodding along with all of its pain and heartache, and that goal I longed for for so, so long will be one happy thing that gets swept away. I really do hope for you that you can find some meaningful way to commemorate this milestone, despite the difficulty of life. A charm for a bracelet, a special necklace, a little vacation? Congratulations to you. I, for one, am quite proud.