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Paul, I could not have said it better myself. I want to be successful and want everyone of my fellow VSG'rs to be successful also. It makes me sad, mad, and down right exasperated sometimes when right out of surgery ppl are posting about eating the same crap that got them where they are. I don't get it. There are so many ppl that need or want this surgery and can't get it and here they are throwing their chance at a new life away. Of course no one is perfect and we will all slip or have a bad day. And I will always offer support and an honest opinion and maybe a kick in the pants if someone needs it. Plz if I ever get to surgery and come back asking "are you sure xyz isn't ok to have now?" (When every single one of us has gotten a well thought out and very self explanatory diet plan to follow) Someone plz pop me upside the head!!!! Anyway thank you for the post and know you are not the only one that feels this way....

I have always struggled both in online groups and in my physical groups when a particular situation presents itself. That situation is when someone is doing something clearly against their best interests as it relates to WLS. I’m talking about the cases where people are clearly heading off track. I find myself at times frustrated and responding in an effort to get those individuals to realize what they’re doing is wrong and at times it has been in a less than tactful way. It has caused me to question why I even care or bother to respond at all. I have spent a decent about of time trying to answer this question for myself and figured I would try to explain it to y’all as well.
I view myself and all of us that have WLS as members of a community. I want every person that goes through this process to be successful and improve the quality of their life. As a member of the community I feel an obligation to help those that I can on their journey. I also have a selfish motivation in trying to help others. I hate that many people in the general public view WLS patients as cheating, taking the easy way out, or that we are just continuing the pattern of laziness that got us to obesity in the first place. I hate hearing the obligatory stories, which we have all heard that goes something like this, “My friend had WLS, lost a bunch of weight and then gained it back”. I have vowed to never be that guy in the story. Here’s the selfish part of my motivation, I never want YOU to be that guy in the story either.
Again from a community perspective we all fail when one of our WLS brothers or sisters does become that guy. We fail together when people go into this thinking it will be the magic bullet and don’t realize it actually does take a lot of work by the individual to succeed. We all fail when people don’t make the food changes necessary and instead think the only tool needed is the surgery.
Maybe I’m wrong and should not view others success or failure as my own. Maybe I’m wrong by not being a cheerleader when people are looking for a little friendly enabling. What’s it to me after all? Sure go ahead, a double cheese burger at 2 weeks out sounds like a great idea! If it doesn't hurt, it must be ok to do, right? Hell let’s wash it down with a vanilla shake!
Sorry I just can’t do it. Guess I will have to become comfortable with my role as the hard ass.
I will extend one offer though. If you do want to know how to totally defeat your sleeve (RNY, DS or Band too) let me know. It’s a road map that is not difficult to follow. I figure that would at least give those inclined a quicker way to regain instead of having to spend all the time testing the waters with various, “I wonder if I can have XYZ”? If you’re reconciled to not trying and just want to jump right to failure then send me a PM, let’s get it done and out of the way.
In any event, I hope this gives a better understand of why I care and view WLS support in the way that I do. I mean no one any ill will ever, but I also will not condone actions that are contrary to being a successful WLS patient. Best of luck on your journey.

Just keep watching him - actions speak louder than words. However, I would try to talk to him - if he's still neglecting you, you may want to call him on it.

From a guy's perspective, if my wife had lost XX amount of pounds, and I hadn't made any similar, significant changes in my own life, I'd be grumpy. And probably pretty passive aggressive about it, meaning I would be giving the silence treatment...

Nothing you said shows your marriage is going down the tubes. Like most men they do not talk about their feeling. He could be just getting use to the "New You". If you do find the marriage is over then you need to evaluate if it will change thing to go to therapy. He maybe the kind of man who is attracted to big women. You would be the one who knows him best. Work on yourself and in the mean time try and talk to him slowly, don't push. Hit him up a little at a time or he will clam right up. Good luck to you, I wish you the best.

Within reason sleeve size does not impact overall weightloss. I have a slightly larger than average sleeve due to having a long stomach so I can eat (gasp) around a quarter of a cup more food than most other sleevers. Those who were sleeved many years ago before the exact "just right" size range was perfected, may have TOO LARGE of a sleeve where some of the fundus (stretchy part of the stomach) was not removed so THAT can impact overall loss but the difference between a 32 bougie and a 40 bougie is really small in terms of how much food your stomach can hold, but a slightly larger sleeve can help prevent strictures and be better for those with acid reflux.
I'd MUCH rather go back years later and get DS than have my intestines rerouted and deal with malabsorption unnecessarily. DS is a VERY powerful surgery and it has it's place but I'd rather avoid it.... As long as I can stay under 230ish pounds I wouldn't do the DS even if I don't maintain my goalweight.. If I found myself ballooning back up over 300 pounds then yes, I'd absolutely go get the DS.

I did a ton of research about the VGS, DS, and Rouen X/Y before I even went to see a surgeon. For me the idea of purposely putting my body into mal-absorption was really scary. I was freaked out enough about the permanent surgery, and then adding worries about nutritional deficits for life just didn't work for me. I have friends and acquaintances that have had the DS or the Rouen X/Y and everybody is very happy with their choice.
I think for me I had to get very real with myself about the root cause of my over eating and what I was willing to do and not do to get healthy again. Each person's decision process will be different and you need to weigh out all the options to see what is right for you.

New to forums
Sleeved 11-23-12 weighed in at 291
As of today 160!

Thanks Beachlover and everyone! I guess it's just I expected to be stuffed or throwing up. It's just learning and adjusting to the new norm, I suppose and I should consider myself lucky which is hard to accept that something good might actually be happening to me. I'm glad to hear that you've seen others think their sleeves were too big, it makes me feel better that I'm probably very normal just tripped out by the whole experience and what I thought it should be like.

I certainly wish I didn't have to do a pre-op diet, but I am certinaly glad I went through those three awful days of withdrawal and am finished feeling like total crap with that BEFORE dealing with the pain of surgery. I'm on day 7, and can definitely see how I may never drink carnation shakes again once I can eat regular food!

Good for you for resisting!! You need to pat yourself on the back!

Been a while since I've posted here. Figured i would check in and FINALLY post pics of my progress.
I'm 40 years old, and 6'5. Was Sleeved last year on June 5th. It's been an amazing year since surgery. I've gotten a life back that I never thought I would live again and can actually do things I wasn't physically able to do. Being Sleeved was the best thing I've ever done for myself! I still have a way to hit goal. My Doc said a goal of 250-275 would be realistic and ideal for my height. Maybe by this time next year I'll be there.
The Before shot is me the day before surgery. The "during" shot is me yesterday at 335lbs..... 170lbs gone!

Just squeezed into the July sleevers group! I was approved today!!!!! Surgery is 7/31!!! This site is now my new homepage. I've already been on the pre-surgery diet TWO weeks! My original date was today but BCBS Tx took almost 2 weeks to approve and my date had to be pushed back. I've gotten used to the diet now...one week to go!! Good luck everybody =)

Get into therapy as soon as you can. The issues we have with food does not go away with the restriction. You have to battle that first and understand what you have done is for your health and your life has changed and you need to learn to adjust. You can do this but need help.

So excited! Not nervous I think I'm still in the not believing stage lol. Tomorrow at 8:45 I go in surgery is at 10:15!!!!!!!!!!!! Good luck to all the July 25 sleevers!!!!

Dr. Ariel Ortiz is in the building! Yes, I'm excited folks. After reading the story about how I wouldn't see him, (LIE), he came to my room as soon as I sat in bed. We talked for about 30 minutes and he has me super excited about this journey! I love this place. The OCC ROCKS! For those who don't know, I am in TJ and really only know it because I had to cross the border. Go figure. This place is like a little spa!

Had my surgery this morning!! I'm doing ok! I have some pain in my abs and some gas pain but I'm on some good drugs! Have been in and out of consciousness throughout the day! But I'm good!! Should be going home Thursday! Hope everyone else is doing well!

This thread has made me even more thankful for my NUT. She is curvy, personable, and sincerely has a desire to help. She doesn't follow the pyramid and says that all foods can fit in our meal plans. We focus on starch, Protein, fats, veggies, fruit, milk exchanges. I've learned to convert grams into servings and can analyze a label like no other lol. The NUTs I deal with at my hospital are completely worthless, regardless of size or shape, at educating my patients on diets appropriate for their diabetes/heart disease/renal failure etc and I end up doing it myself. Don't tell my diabetic patient that he can't have sugar in his cream of wheat but breads and Pasta won't effect his blood sugar!
My NP that I have to see pre op on the other hand is overweight, cold, and judgemental about those of contemplating surgery. Skinny or fat, her attitude is off-putting and I can't wait until I'm done with my 12 week Options class and can meet with the surgeon!!

I agree with MoonLiteStarBrite & LDallas - my displeasure with my NUT isn't due to her body size, it's her lack of experience with, and empathy for, what it's like to be overweight. She has never been in my shoes, and is judgemental rather than being supportive. Granted, I do refer to her as The Stickbug, but that's based more on my lack of creativity than a dislike of her solely due to her body weight. I just don't like the chick.

Misty, not at all. Take out the size comment and nothing abt the personality changes. I brought it up because she honestly makes frowny disgusted like faces when looking at my food diary or when answering a question or most any time i interact with her. I realize if someone is interested enough in nutrition to get a degree in it, then they most likely have lived and do live a healthy lifestyle. That's great and admirable. But it's also evident in my case, that she's never had a wt problem or struggled with food to a point of dealing with obesity and having 80% of her stomach removed to deal with it. It's like having a WW counselor that's never been overweight. I'm sure there are lovely, understanding, thin NUTS out there. And lovely, patient, understanding NUTS at have a few extra lbs on them. I dont judge ppl by their size, it was merely descriptive commentary like ("tall", "pretty" etc). A B is a B, no matter what size they are.

I know you guys are venting but can't believe you're criticizing your dietitians based on body size. They weigh the right amount because they eat according to their own guidelines. Also carrying extra weight is not going to help them in their careers. "Who should listen to her? She's not even thin." I can just hear it now.

I'm on the other coast so I don't have a referral for you. But I didn't like the Nut during my 6 month pre-qual phase. She too was no bigger than a size 2 and never had weight issues. In fact, most of us couldn't stand her because she was so judgemental and rude to those of us seeing her for WLS.
After a while I decided I'd do the best I could and follow all the rules just because she seemed like she was looking for all of us to fail. Some people eventually did leave the process and waited for an opening with another Nut. I was determined to stay the course and not start all over.
In the long run, I actually am glad I had her. It took me months to feel this way. I used my dislike of her to prove her wrong that I couldn't stay the course. The smug look on her face each time I showed up and had followed my plan...priceless!

Wow, that was a tough day but you made it and survived! I dont know you but Im proud of you. Not a high percentage of folks couldve put themselves in that situation and not b*tched and moaned and complained. You keep up that attitude and you are going to succeed like a rock star!!!

So, I went to the Surgeon today for my pre-surgery teaching, a meeting with my surgeon, and that's basically it... Well, my in-laws, wife, and kids came with for the ride (I live about 20 min from the hospital I'm having the surgery done).
Well, my wife agreed to let them come, but said we wouldn't go out to eat because I'm on a clear liquid diet. Well, they started discussing logistics, because she wanted to eat out too, but then I just said that's fine, eat out, I'll come with, I need to get used to it anyway... (In other words, it was my idea).
We went to Panda Express, and their website said they had hot and sour Soup, and I was going to get some broth... Well, it turns out they didn't, so I just downed a Protein shot, and drank Water. Then they got cupcakes from a cupcake bakery in town... (I gave my wife the coupon, so also my idea).
I survived.
I was a 'bit hungry before my protein shot, but I didn't drool on anyone's food I didn't grump, I engaged in conversation... It was hard, though, but I did it.
I've been on Clear liquids since Saturday, and all I have to do is make it to August 6th.