Chelenka

I have been struggling with hunger a lot lately too. I wonder if it's just an aspect of this time of year as we are bombarded with yummy food and it gets dark early which makes me want to curl up with hot coco and popcorn in front of the TV. Also I am struggling with a depressive state. My work has fizzled and my Mom is ill with stage 4 lung cancer. I've gained about 7 lbs from my lowest weight and have been fighting to take it off again. I'm trying to keep my perspective about my weight since 7 lbs isn't much on my big body, but it's enough to make my clothes a bit snug. Also I know what a slippery slope it can be and, as God is my witness, I never be that fat again! LOL! I am trying to keep busy by selling my old size 24 Diva dresses on eBay which is both fun and a pain in the butt. But with my Mom's illness hanging over me I don't want to look for another job cuz I feel like I can't make a commitment to anything since I want to be available for her. I am so thankful for my wonderful husband right now. Don't know how I would cope without him.

@@ladypoohbear try searching the forum for posts about artificial sweeteners. There are many opinions. I do use Splenda in my coffee but also like a natural sweetener called Nectressa.

HW: 302
SW: 289
CW: 230
Having the sleeve was the best thing I have ever done for myself, I wish I had come to this realization ten years ago, instead of dieting and gaining and dieting and gaining, over and over again, I would started in the low 200's, instead of the low 300's. I would have lost and gained one more time and back on track for my Dad's early death at 57, instead feeling like I am 10 years younger now.
If you are thinking about and just aren't sure - let me tell you, if this had been another diet, I would have quit before now and would be higher than when I started. The restriction forces you to realize that you don't need that much food. I used to get sooo angry when a skinny friend would say that "I just don't need that much food" when staring at a skimpy meal. Today, as I can only eat few ounces at a time - I finally get it.
70+ lbs down and another 70 to go - this is the first time where I truly believe I have a chance to be a normal weight and maintain it.

I was sleeved on 2/28/13. I was 53 and weighed 325 at my pre-op appt. i'm very tall, 6'1", so my goal is 220, which is still considered "overweight". So I got down to 225 but haven't made it to my goal yet. Still working on it. In the beginning I lost very quickly and my rate of loss slowed around 8 months post-op.
I never took the rate of weight loss into consideration when I chose the sleeve. I was initially going to have the RNY. I chose to have the sleeve because I felt it was a better choice for me. I really didn't like the idea of having my small intestine cut and rerouted. Also the dumping syndrome was a deterrent. However some people still get dumping with the sleeve too. I've had some very sugary or fatty things cause me to have nausea and diarrhea, especially if I ate it on an empty stomach.
Some people may lose more rapidly with the RNY but it seems like the difference is pretty minimal.
I think you have to go with your gut (pardon the pun) feeling about what is right for you. Everyone's experience is unique. You'll do great with either surgery!

I was sleeved on 2/28/13. I was 53 and weighed 325 at my pre-op appt. i'm very tall, 6'1", so my goal is 220, which is still considered "overweight". So I got down to 225 but haven't made it to my goal yet. Still working on it. In the beginning I lost very quickly and my rate of loss slowed around 8 months post-op.
I never took the rate of weight loss into consideration when I chose the sleeve. I was initially going to have the RNY. I chose to have the sleeve because I felt it was a better choice for me. I really didn't like the idea of having my small intestine cut and rerouted. Also the dumping syndrome was a deterrent. However some people still get dumping with the sleeve too. I've had some very sugary or fatty things cause me to have nausea and diarrhea, especially if I ate it on an empty stomach.
Some people may lose more rapidly with the RNY but it seems like the difference is pretty minimal.
I think you have to go with your gut (pardon the pun) feeling about what is right for you. Everyone's experience is unique. You'll do great with either surgery!

Yep, it's finally in the house, but still in sealed bags. I hear it "Lyyyynnnnddddaaa eeeaaaat meeeeee" but I will not fall off the wagon. I'm still 5 lbs 9 ounces over goal and I'm allowing myself ONE day of candy, popcorn, cocktails, and chili. Tomorrow. My size six jeans thank me.
Thank you BP for being here for me, through thick and thin, and here's hoping there's never thick again in my future.
I have already enjoyed a carmel apple cider (sugar free cider mix with a splash of SF caramel syrup), apple slices with PB2, and a graham cracker after dinner. Yes, that's enough. But I might have a pumpkin Cream (Soy milk with a splash of SF pumpkin Pie syrup) before bed.
Vets, I salute you as we march through another holiday season. This year, as last year, my Christmas present to myself will be to arrive at New Years at goal.
Lynda

Wow! 2 years out! I can't beleive how much has happened and how much has changed in these past 2 years! I'm still slowly losing a pound or two here and there, I've gone up a bit and then keep going down a bit. It doesn't get easier, that's for sure! I still have to watch what I eat, I still have to be mindful to go to the gym. This surgery has been a lot of things for me, it certainly hasn't been what I started thinking it would be. Everyone always talked about it being a 'tool' and it really is. There is no easy way out, there is no easy path. I can easily see myself regaining and being big again, but the love I have for my new body is incredible so everyday I wake up and keep on keeping on. Being a Mexico sleever, my Dr. never set a 'goal' for me, so I set myself at 115. I'm not sure that's realistic as I'm pretty comfortable bouncing around the low 130's, but we'll see if I get there. I'm not 'fighting' to lose anymore, I feel happy where I'm at. My real goal I kept in the back of my head is that I wanted to weigh 1/2 of my starting weight, and I do, so if I don't kick these remaining 17 lbs, I'm okay. I'm AMAZED at how relatively little loose skin I have. I have a little turkey chin, and saggy arms, legs and ladies, I have a sad flappy belly pooch and no butt to speak of, but all in all I think I'm VERY lucky as far as loose skin goes. Now that I'm more or less stable, I think I'll wait at least another year or so before doing any plastics, but really it would be for vanity purposes. I think I look amazing in clothes, and my husband doesn't mind me without All this being said, I've always been into Fairies and of course the ultimate fairy being Tinkerbell, this year I decided to go for it! The before pictures are from a plus size fashion show I did 2 weeks before my surgery, and the Tinkerbell pics are from a party I went to last night. I'm still self concious about my legs so I designed and sewed my own costume to keep them still hidden a little. I designed the wings and made them too, THAT was a chore! After losing 1/2 myself, I feel I can do anything now and haven't stopped yet! I hope this inspires some of you to keep going!!

Today is my 3 year sleeve anniversary. I feel somewhat obligated to share an update, for those curious about the sleeve's effectiveness a little more down the road. I was what most would call a "slow loser" during the initial post-sleeve weight loss stage, mostly due to being somewhat of a low BMI'er to begin with as I was around a 38 or so BMI before the sleeve.
My restriction was very noticeable the first several months and then I was able to slowly eat more and more as the months have gone by and then it has mostly plateaued the past year and a half to 2 years. At the 3 year mark, I am able to eat a good bit more than I could the first few months post-op, but still significantly less than pre-sleeve. I feel I can easily add on another 20-30 pounds if I don't watch what I eat. Though I give the sleeve a lot of credit for the weight/fat loss I've had (especially initially), I think the fact that I've been able to keep it in check now is mostly due to a combination of restriction, and also just being better informed and eating to support my goals and less for pleasure....eating smart and exericise.
I'm still very happy that I've had this done and would do it all over again as it has been a true blessing. Is it an easy fix or easy way out? No. Is it a great tool for eating better? Absolutely. Will it help me keep the weight off for good if I still want to eat whatever I want? Not a chance. This is just my experience as I realize others at the same time frame post op may have differing experiences, and those further out than myself can probably be a much better gauge as to the long term effectiveness of the sleeve. But I still like to come on here and give any feedback that I have and coming back here helps to keep me motivated due to receiving positive feedback, reading other's trials/errors and seeing their benefits as well.
I guess that's all for now and I will try to check back in at 4 or 5 years, or if something else comes up. Wish everyone the best!

I'm sorry you're struggling through such a tough period. I can tell you're from the NY/NJ/PA area because you mentioned Wawa. Wawa actually has some great choices that will help you stay on track. They always have fresh fruit in the stores. You can get a sub sandwich but ask them to leave the bun off and put it in one of the little bowls instead. They also sometimes have hot roast beef or hot turkey bowls that are in a nice rich sauce that definitely qualifies as comfort food. You can usually find Vitamin Water Zero there for a nice change of pace from just bottled Water. And you can always pick up almonds in the little single serving (or for me, two serving) packs.
When I'm driving long distances like that, I try to stop at a rest stop at least half way through and find a bench and do a lot of all-over body stretches... I do a modified downward-dog putting my hands on the picnic table and bending over (hard to describe). Do arm stretches and leg stretches... really helps you loosen up from the tension of driving.
As far as non-food treats go -- check to see if there is a massage therapy school in your area... they have really low-cost massages sometimes. Or beauty schools and get some new hairdo or coloring. A friend goes to a local school like that and her hair always looks fabulous and it's very inexpensive. You might also see if there are some family caregiver support groups at your local hospitals. It might help you to hear that you aren't alone in the struggle.
Best wishes!

I beg your pardon for the title but a young person of the male gender (won't refer to him as a man since that implies a level of maturity that he obviously doesn't possess) hollered at me whilst I was riding my bike "you have a saggy ass so you better move it!" Although it is true that I have a saggy ass and many other saggy body parts, I've gotten complacent I guess about fitting in with regular, non-obese, folks and was rather taken aback. Having been obese and for my entire life I have been on the receiving end of many a cruel remark or look of disgust, pointing, stares, snickering, even unwanted groping, more times than I can count, sometimes from members of my own family. I usually turned the other cheek and went on my way. Today, however, I found myself boiling over with anger. I caught up to said young person of the male gender at a stop light and yelled at him "my saggy ass is better than your flat dick!" Then I stood up on the pedals and rode furiously away. I'm feeling a bit ashamed of myself for stooping so low.

I am starting the 5:2 intermittent fast today (Mondays and Thursdays 500 calories, other days normal healthy food choices). I am also not weighing myself until Sunday.
The first thing I noticed this morning was relief about not fearing whether the scale went up or down a pound this morning.
My plan is to rely on Protein Shakes today because they are easy to control and satisfy me.
I'm going to post my experiences in this thread. All are welcome to join me.

okay... this is a vent!!!!
I love that both my grown sons are back home with me... such joy it brings! I come from "big family" and living alone just seems so abnormal. My whole life I have been buried in people and had to seek solitude...more recently, I have had to work to seek companionship and it has been hard for me to live alone. I love that they are here. My EX shows up alot because he is very close to his step sons. That is mixed for me because I care for him so deeply but we are NOT good for each other so I often leave when he comes because I want him to have good "man times" with my boys. He often shows them how to do man stuff like replace a light switch..okay, I am being a wimp, but we always had a real division of labor in my world and I miss not having a partner around who can do the little stuff that puzzles me.
I really really value that since their dad is a complete loser and I so appreciate that their step-dad is a real man and steps up to the job of teaching and leading them in their lives. I am blessed that he still shows up even though we haven't been an "item" for a very long time.
But I digress... what I resent is that I can't eat like a man. this is so hard. Suddenly, there is bread, there is delicsious rice blends, there is deep fried, there is pizza, there is beer. There are CARBS!!!! They don't make the male members of my family fat, but they fatten me up like a steer at the stockyard.
I am pissed, annoyed and just plain irrate.
However, I sure as heck like weighing in the 140s more than in the 250-300+++ range.... so, I remind myself of that and persevere even though i feel like I have been eating like a farmhand lately! GRRRRR
Vent over.

Dear Lisa: my heart goes out to you. You have been so incredibly brave and strong in facing your husband's death and caring for him. I think you may be experiencing PTSD. I went thru this after the death of my brother with whom I was very close. He suffered greatly and I was there with him. Here are some suggestions.
1. If you haven't already please find a grief counselor or group to attend.
2. Try an antidepressant medication to see if it helps you.
3. Don't buy anymore fudge-sickles, you are in an addiction-like behavior.
4. Try to take small, positive steps in your self-care. Drink some ensure, take your Vitamins and supplements, have one meal of real food, take a 1/2 hour walk; whatever you feel will help.
5. Write in a journal everything you are feeling and all your memories of your husband. Try to write about the joyful times you had together and all the things about him that you loved. Try to shift your focus away from all that he suffered. He would not want you to be stuck in those memories and would want you to remember him in his prime.
I have no doubt he is an angel now watching over you. Try to feel the love of his presence in your life, even though his physical life has ended.
I hope my thoughts are helpful to you.

Hi;
I know exactly how you are feeling. No one really knows unless they go through it all. They can show compassion but they don't know really! We are groomed to think that it is going to be a piece of cake ( sorry ) And to a lot it is. But some of us like you like me and some others on here and people I have had experience with have to see things in a different way.
We have to look at everything moment to moment. Day to day, week to week and believe and trust the team that got us this far. Talking to those who have had complications is a way to see that you are not alone. I am out almost 2 years outand still suffer from complications. But I take it one thing at a time. I also concentrate on why I did this and like you said you were healthy. I was too sorta. But I knew it would not be long before I was not.
When the complications started I was unaware of anything much until I came out of a 19 day coma. Then the battle really began. Each day I feel a little different and a little better. Each day I do not second guess why I did this because I already knew why I did this. ( To live a better healthier life style and be around for my grand daughter
It did not go the way I dreamed it would and although the surgeon made me say I could die from this surgery I really did not believe it. Hind sight is 20/20 for us all.
My advice to you if I can give it is to not look at the big picture. Handle it one day at a time. Write down the reasons you chose to do this for you and your family and mark all the changes good that happen to you as you travel this rocky road to fitness and health.
This Wed. I have yet another scope and they want to see if my abscess is healed over from the ulcer and leak I got at 18 months out. Here is hoping for good news.
The million dollar question is whether I would do this again and the answer is yes!!!!!!!!! My life has changes for the better even with all the complications. I can go anywhere. Do anything. Walk for hours and stand for ever. I can sit in a plane seat and don't have to use the big wheel chair at the hospital. i can bend down and tie my own shoes and hold my grand daughter so tight to me that she says I squeeze her too tight....I love it.
I would not trade it for anything. Saying that does not help the moment you are in right now. Right now you are frightened and scared and worried for you and for your loved ones. I understand that all to well. But I want you to know that this is going to make you a different person. Not only in health but also personally it will change you and make you a more tolerant and caring person. You will reach out to others and help them understand that you had to do this no matter the cost. You have not lost your life over it. Others have you know. That does not make it easier but it does help. You see that you are still alive and closer to the goals you set for yourself.
You must be your own champion and do research on what they are going to do next. Ask questions, hundreds of them if you need to until you feel safer.
You will get better and this will pass. But you must calm yourself and let it happen so that you can feel the differences as they happen. Cry if you must but you have to pick your attitude back up. Way up as that is 50 percent of the chance of improvement.
If you need to talk to me. PM me and we can make arrangements. I have done this before for other people on this forum. I am not saying I have all the answers but I know where you are and where you are coming from. We can talk whenever you want.
Jane
hug your fiance tight and tell him this is going to be a bumpy ride but worth it okay!

Sorry you're having knee issues. I've had knee problems most of my life. Part of my reason for having WLS was because of my knee pain and anticipating needing knee replacement eventually. My knees have bern much happier but I still have some issues with them. I had a meniscus tear and surgery in 2005. It is very important to get the PT after the surgery and do all the exercises religiously. You have to give your body time to heal, 6 months or so, before doing anything that puts a lot of pressure on the joint. You can ride a bike probably, use an elliptical and swim. I liked the elliptical. Best of luck to you.

Sorry you're having knee issues. I've had knee problems most of my life. Part of my reason for having WLS was because of my knee pain and anticipating needing knee replacement eventually. My knees have bern much happier but I still have some issues with them. I had a meniscus tear and surgery in 2005. It is very important to get the PT after the surgery and do all the exercises religiously. You have to give your body time to heal, 6 months or so, before doing anything that puts a lot of pressure on the joint. You can ride a bike probably, use an elliptical and swim. I liked the elliptical. Best of luck to you.

Sorry you're having knee issues. I've had knee problems most of my life. Part of my reason for having WLS was because of my knee pain and anticipating needing knee replacement eventually. My knees have bern much happier but I still have some issues with them. I had a meniscus tear and surgery in 2005. It is very important to get the PT after the surgery and do all the exercises religiously. You have to give your body time to heal, 6 months or so, before doing anything that puts a lot of pressure on the joint. You can ride a bike probably, use an elliptical and swim. I liked the elliptical. Best of luck to you.

Dear Lisa: my heart goes out to you. You have been so incredibly brave and strong in facing your husband's death and caring for him. I think you may be experiencing PTSD. I went thru this after the death of my brother with whom I was very close. He suffered greatly and I was there with him. Here are some suggestions.
1. If you haven't already please find a grief counselor or group to attend.
2. Try an antidepressant medication to see if it helps you.
3. Don't buy anymore fudge-sickles, you are in an addiction-like behavior.
4. Try to take small, positive steps in your self-care. Drink some ensure, take your Vitamins and supplements, have one meal of real food, take a 1/2 hour walk; whatever you feel will help.
5. Write in a journal everything you are feeling and all your memories of your husband. Try to write about the joyful times you had together and all the things about him that you loved. Try to shift your focus away from all that he suffered. He would not want you to be stuck in those memories and would want you to remember him in his prime.
I have no doubt he is an angel now watching over you. Try to feel the love of his presence in your life, even though his physical life has ended.
I hope my thoughts are helpful to you.

I seem to have a healthy appetite most of the time and thus am struggling to maintain. I've still not made it to my "goal" weight and am resigned that it may never happen. As long as I stay where I am now I'm OK with it. Still trying to figure out the right balance of food and exercise. Last summer I rode my bike a lot and I was loosing fairly steadily but the last two bike rides I've taken have brought on a sciatica attack and I'm really frustrated that my body doesn't like my idea of fun and good e exercise. Plus I lost my part-time job at the gym and thus cancelled my membership there. They fired my boss so my position was also eliminated. I had planned to quit anyway but not til mid-August. I miss my friends there and am kinda bummed. All this just makes me want to eat. Sigh. Sometimes I wish I had no desire to eat but I know that isn't truly healthy. It's just so frustrating that after going thru surgery and losing 100lbs nothing has changed in terms of my basic behavior around food except I can't eat as much as I used to. Nor do I want to really so in that respect it's an improvement at least. Seems like the struggle with food and weight is unending.

I haven’t posted in so long, or even on the site. Since my surgery back in May 2012, life has flown by and I have been happy to say I do NOT regret my decision to have this surgery. One thing I have learned is that with anything, nothing is a “quick fix”. You have to put in the work to get the results you want. Losing weight doesn’t change who you are, and neither does the demons you are fighting in your life every “go away.” I still struggle with some of the same issues I did before the surgery, such as food addiction. No matter how hard I try, I realize now that it will never go away. The reality is that even though I may not be “hungry” or even want to eat, I still have the urge to do so out of habit. Currently I am at 168lbs. My goal was 180, but I was around 155 for almost year (been as low as 153)..until this summer. That’s when the weight gain began to creep up on me. Currently I am back in the gym and tracking everything that goes in this mouth, so I am hoping to be back in the 150s sometime by the end of October/Beginning of November. I am very determined not carry this extra weight with me to Thanksgiving!
I hope all of you are doing well, and I look forward to being active again on the site!

I had a similar experience in high school. Scheduling classes I noticed I would not have a lunch period. The guidance counselor said " well you look like you can make it without a lunch" I was 16 years old and what would be about a 26 BMI and she fat shamed me. I already thought I was huge compared to my petite friends now she backed up my beliefs. There is a warm place in hell reserved for people who are supposed to help us who instead knock us down. And they do it because they need to bring others down to keep themselves feeling superior most of the time. 32 years ago and I still remember that. b***h.

I have cousins who are majestic. That is the only way I could describe the entire family. Mother, father, a son and two girls. All over 6'. When they entered a room everyone stopped and looked at them in awe. They walked tall and dressed well. Everyone wanted to be near them because they put on an air of royalty. None had a shame or made to feel bad for the way they looked. I always thought wow. If I were born to be that tall I would like to be like that. It was just beautiful to see them.
Now A few months ago I saw a woman that was well over 6' and she was suffering badly with Anorexia and when she walked she looked like a puppet with strings being pulled just to make her walk. I thought to myself she is not proud of her height and beauty. Because she was beautiful in the face. I immediately thought of my cousins and how they would have made her feel special.
I hope now that you see yourself as you really are. Special and beautiful. Don't be fooled by some jack ass in the past. Thanks for the pep talk by the way! Your a gem!
Jane

RJ: sending you a big cyber hug ((()))!!! I've not looked into plastics for myself. But I've been humiliated by doctors plenty of times. One time when I was a teenager will always stay with me, a doctor made me feel like a grotesque thing, not a person. It affected me so deeply and was so painful that I can't really put it into words. I was still a child but I looked like an adult because of my height, obesity and physical development at that point. Anyway, the rage that comes up when I remember that incident is pretty intense. Some Drs. are just insensitive jerks! You have been thru so much, with so much grace and strength, and always kind words and encouragement for others. You are truly beautiful! I hope you are able to find an amazing Dr who is compassionate as well as skillful. You deserve all health and happiness now! Be proud of your loose skin! It is your badge of victory and survival! As my Dad would say "non illigitimi carborundum" which means don't let the bastards grind you down! Rock on you gorgeous woman!

Dear Lisa: my heart goes out to you. You have been so incredibly brave and strong in facing your husband's death and caring for him. I think you may be experiencing PTSD. I went thru this after the death of my brother with whom I was very close. He suffered greatly and I was there with him. Here are some suggestions.
1. If you haven't already please find a grief counselor or group to attend.
2. Try an antidepressant medication to see if it helps you.
3. Don't buy anymore fudge-sickles, you are in an addiction-like behavior.
4. Try to take small, positive steps in your self-care. Drink some ensure, take your Vitamins and supplements, have one meal of real food, take a 1/2 hour walk; whatever you feel will help.
5. Write in a journal everything you are feeling and all your memories of your husband. Try to write about the joyful times you had together and all the things about him that you loved. Try to shift your focus away from all that he suffered. He would not want you to be stuck in those memories and would want you to remember him in his prime.
I have no doubt he is an angel now watching over you. Try to feel the love of his presence in your life, even though his physical life has ended.
I hope my thoughts are helpful to you.

Best compliment has come from my niece, a very tall, model-thin and beautiful young woman who said "wow! You're almost as skinny as me!"
My Mom, who is the queen of the left-handed compliment said to me, when I was about 3 months post-op, "well, I guess it looks like you've lost a little weight." I always have to remind myself that she's 83, has no filter and means no harm.
The worst for me is when people I think would have encouraging words, like the trainers at the gym, say nothing at all.
pre-surgery weight 325; surgery date 2/28/2013; surgery weight 307; 8 weeks past-op weight 281.4; 12 weeks post-op 274; 4 month post-op 266.2; 5 month post-op 262.6; 6 month post-op 253.2