I am feeling resentful
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okay... this is a vent!!!!
I love that both my grown sons are back home with me... such joy it brings! I come from "big family" and living alone just seems so abnormal. My whole life I have been buried in people and had to seek solitude...more recently, I have had to work to seek companionship and it has been hard for me to live alone. I love that they are here. My EX shows up alot because he is very close to his step sons. That is mixed for me because I care for him so deeply but we are NOT good for each other so I often leave when he comes because I want him to have good "man times" with my boys. He often shows them how to do man stuff like replace a light switch..okay, I am being a wimp, but we always had a real division of labor in my world and I miss not having a partner around who can do the little stuff that puzzles me.
I really really value that since their dad is a complete loser and I so appreciate that their step-dad is a real man and steps up to the job of teaching and leading them in their lives. I am blessed that he still shows up even though we haven't been an "item" for a very long time.
But I digress... what I resent is that I can't eat like a man. this is so hard. Suddenly, there is bread, there is delicsious rice blends, there is deep fried, there is pizza, there is beer. There are CARBS!!!! They don't make the male members of my family fat, but they fatten me up like a steer at the stockyard.
I am pissed, annoyed and just plain irrate.
However, I sure as heck like weighing in the 140s more than in the 250-300+++ range.... so, I remind myself of that and persevere even though i feel like I have been eating like a farmhand lately! GRRRRR
Vent over.