vinesqueen

I strip myself naked Nothing holds the wolves at bay Pain, a standard clutched All protection gone Gone are my shield and armor Wit, my soul weapon how will I to protect my tender heart from cruel life my size my armor Facing my failure Options fade like mist on fields Facing my future

boy Kelly, do you have your work cut out for you! <cue evil laughter>

Thanks Bright and all those who PM'd me. Cheers

Okay, my surgery is in a week. I’m a wreck, just a nervous wreck. I’m not sleeping, I’m pacing, my asthma is threatening to flare. I’m trying to keep myself distracted, but it isn’t working. Night is worse for some reason. I’ve tried to focus on other thing, like tomorrow I start my horseback riding class, and Friday I go home (a temporary reprieve from my exile). I have a dark chocolate bar softly whispering my name oh so seductively. It is probably lonely. That same bar has been in my fridge since October, so I’m not really in any danger. And I have a gi-normous math test on Thursday. You would think that would capture my attention, given my l33t m4th skills… (as if) I wish I could be dancing like jubilant Jamie, dancing around her living room, shaking her booty. But I can’t. Instead I sit with tears. I’m not sure what I’m mourning.

My D&C wasn't as painful as having my period every two weeks with killer cramps and heavey flow. (I'm a space alien with multiple chambers in my uterus. When I got pregnant with my son, all the extra chambers acted like they were preggers too...)

down 2 pounds this week. My bookbag weighs 20 pounds; sure wish I could loose some of that weight....

oh, I'm not shy with my language. Sometimes it is just more fun to come up with swear words than the standard words. Sometimes I really like to reserve them for their shock value. It used to drive the guys I worked with on one job site. I would only use words like "heck" and "darn." So when I did let loose with a torent of words like "that beeping beeper beep beeep beep beep beeeep BEEEPING BEEEPER" Well, their expressions were just priceless... I don't think language makes one more or less relegious either. But I also try to be aware of other's sensibilities.

Kathy, when you use the advanced feature, the original postings are at the bottom of the screen with all signatures and avatars stripped out. 8 days and counting. Did other people have trouble sleeping? I've still been awake at 4:00 am.. not a good thing.

I am still planning to come. I have been checking out a couple of the travel sites and am trying to figure out a deal.

Denise, something you should also be aware is that there is currently research on stress and weight gain. Some of the stress hormones that we generate actually cause us to gain weight. Not a fun thing. Something about "flight or fight." One of the companies I worked for went out of business and I wasn't able to find a job that paid even close to what I was making. I finally took at job at about 2/3 of what I had been making. After talking things over with my son and DH, I went back to school to get my university degree. It will take me to the next level. Good luck on your decision.

Laura, can I be your next new best friend? Just partly joking... Thanks for the idea Zoe, I think I will get some bins and store them for a while. I don't really have a lot of clothes for my current size... I don't have any professional clothes the next size down, but I have plenty of jeans and casual things. *sigh* Pretty funny. I'm wondering if I'll have enuogh professional clothes to last my summer internship... Okay, I never thought that would be an issue...

Hi Laura, my son also was initally concerned and didn't think I needed the either. But I don't think he understood all the ramifications of not having the band for me. The only real co-morbidities that I have center around breathing -- asthma and sleep apnia. He also didn't realize that I weigh as much as I do. He's seen the tremendous weight loss my DH has had, just shy of 200 pounds. My son is now behind me 100%. Perhaps you can have your daughter haul around a backpack filled with something heavy to give her an idea of what it is like for you? I think it is a positive sign that they are concerned about you and your health. As for my mother, well, she doesn't think this is a good idea. But of course, unlike many mothers, she isn't supportive of anything I do. I can't help with mother advice, sorry.

Many of the people in the land of my exile seem to be easily offended. One young lady was terribly offended when I said the word “damn!” She had just told me that she never needed to come to math class or study, and she was still getting an “A” in the class. I believe what I actually told her was “Damn! I hate you! Please be my tutor!” Her husband is in my program, and the next day he told me how offended and hurt she was that I swore at her. One of my all time favorite shows, Farscape, used the word “Frell” and Battlestar Galactica uses “frack” to use in place of “the f-word.” (and no, I don’t mean food….) Last semester in my ceramics class, I broke a pot that had taken me over 6 hours to create. At which point I exclaimed “Several Bad Words!!!!” Once people had figured out what I said, they started laughing. So lately, when I need to casually curse, I will say “several bad words” or just shorten it to “bad words!” One of the favorite swear phrases here in SE Idaho is “oh my heck!” which just always gives me a giggle.

The last time my Mom was in England she brought me back a copy of Delia's cooking school cookbook. Love it! Of course, my favorite recipe for yorkshire pudding is from a 1040's cookbook (my copy is a reprint from the early 1950's.) mmmm yorkshire pudding with onions.... Thanks for the link to her site! I didn't bring any cookbooks into exile with me...

Karen, I have started to use a Theramcare heat wrap. Stores generally keep them in the same area as the Pads, so they should be easy to find. Regular heating pads are nice, but they aren't very convienint, since you gotta plug 'em in. When I don't use these heat wraps, I have to take 1/2 a hydrocodone because the pain is so bad. Hope this helps!

The water! Doh! Of coarse! And here I was thinking it was the massive ammounts of steroids I have to take ever so often...

Fresh tuna is the best. You can get frozen tuna steaks from Trader Joes (if you have a Trader Joes nearby) but I've also found it at more traditional grocery store. Canned tuna is never the same after

I'm not on a pre-op diet. I probably should but, but I'm not on one. I will still be in exile until Friday... I also don't have to be on clear liquid, he's changed that requirement too. Just liquids... But I picked up some Protein drinks to try, Natural Balance 230 calories and 15 G protein.

I have very sensitive skin, so the creams burn my skin. My mother doesn't have the chin hair problem, but neither does her mother. (native american about 4 generations ago) Unfortunately, my Dad's sisters are a different story... I also have PCOS, and my mother doesn't, but only one of my neices has it. I don't think it is a new phenominun...

that's very sad. I hope she finds her way back here eventually.

<dark laughter> Pat, why do you think I went out and bought one of those tests???

I actually went out and got a pregnancy test. I mean, I NEVER miss a period, and here I am, 3 months without one. Turns out I'm not pregnant, just old.

thank you Zoe, I think you don't give yourself enough credit. This was a very powerful post. Moderators, could we make this sticky please?

Penni, I was going to ask the same thing..... Hope you are feeling better Vera!

Oh Nana!!! LMAO!!!! Of course, I was picturing my DH trying to use one! Thanks for the laugh!