vinesqueen

yeah, I'm on a one woman campain to make "grovey" cool again. It's so retro, I might be able to pull it off...

Hey Christina, tell us where you're being banded (besides your tummy) and what time! Woot! got me a band buddy!

Thanks everyone! I fly home tomorrow, so that will take up a big whack of my day. Then, my DH, being the born consiurge he is (or maybe it's just because he's a Virgo...), has my weekend totally planned out. I'll be in surgery Monday morning at 8:30 PST... Your thoughts and well-wishes, prayers and white-lights are recieved so greatfully.

okay Megan, I can't say this any bigger... You deserve a great guy! But no making out with the fridge, isn't that what lead us here in the first place???

uhm, wow. I only had three I could answer yes too, but they are hard ones. Although I supposed any three would be hard one if they are yours.

how have the last two and a half weeks treated you? I know that Jack has provided us with a wonderful and inspriational running commentary about that week's NSV. How are the other members of the 12/21 posse fairling? How is your weight journy going? Have you hit any unexpect things in your way? I know there are several of us going in the next few days/week, and I know it would be benificail to see how you as a group are doing.

oh, I didn't mean to give y'all the impression that all religous folk I know are insensentive or pushy. I know many fine folk of all persuasions . (Dang I wish I could spell...) If my friend and neigbor Chuck didn't care for me, he wouldn't have been so stong in his caring. That is how he knows how to share his love. And I'm grovey with that.

thanks Paula! Nope, he totally respects my belief structure, and I respect his. I had these really great neighbors, and naturally they were concerned for my mortal soul. Chuck was working on becomming ordained as a Baptist Minister... Chuck was always trying to get me to convert, but I always resisted, and I never tried to convert him to my way. One day we were driving to the grocery store, and as usual, he was being concerned about my soul. Getting a little tired of constantly being saved, I made the simple statement "since God is part of everything, everything is part of God." He flat out disagreed with me. I let it got for a few minutes. ... So I started a conversation about art and great artists. He agreed with me that the true Masters left part of themselves in their work. So we chatted about various Masters for a while. "Look at that sunset! Don't you think that God is the greatest of all artists?" Chuck agreed with me whole heartedly. Then I went in for the kill. "So, since God is the greatest of all artists, and you agree that all great artists leave some of themselves in their work, everything is part of God?" Chuck promptly agreed with me. Then it dawned on him. He didn't talk to me for a whole month, and then once again he went back to trying to save my immortal soul...

The very first place I historically lose weight is on husbands. After that it is my face, followed by a general all over loss. With the band, we shall see. Of couser, with the band, gain, the first place I lost weight was on my husband...

Marie, to achieve something first your mind must concieve it. So, yeah, thinking about it gives you partial credit. When I go skiing and have difficulty with a particular run, I think about the run and how it feels. Then I think about how it would feel to make it better. (mind you, I'm a blue skiier currently, no ribbons for me! Unless they ahve the fair-to-middlin' olympics! Then I'm so there! )

Paula dear, why would you get slammed? That is a perfectly resonable question, if you ask me. Unless you mean by slammed by information... hehehe My parents were both raised atheists. Both sets of Grandfathers were American Communists in the 1930’s and were heavily involved with the early labor movement. So they were both atheists. Then comes along this little girl with long brown hair with curls who taught herself to read at the age of 4. Public schools wouldn’t take me for another year, so my parents sent me off to alma Heights Christian Academy, affiliated with Pillar of Fire Ministries. Talk about your culture shock. At school they told me that my parents were going to hell or alternately, that they would be smitten by God. At home, my patents told me that the teachers and staff were misguided and there was no god. my mother also told me later that she wanted me to make up my own mind about things. When I was about 7, I had this major epiphany during Thursday Chapel. The sermon had to do with the number of days a man has on earth, and how no one can enter the kingdom of heaven unless they are perfect. Right then and there, I realized that reincarnation was the only way things worked because there was no way for anyone to attain perfection in such a short amount of time. I figured it would be sort of like repeating a grade because sometime you don’t learn all your lessons and have to come back and learn them again or better. In 1967, this was a radical idea, especially for a little girl going to a religious private school. My parents thought this idea of mine was just one of my little flights of fancy, ranking right up there with my imaginary friend China. (I met here while I was digging a hole to China in my backyard….) I was forever getting in trouble during prayer because I would not bow my head. I only wanted to look up to heaven to see Jesus. I was told repeatedly that God would smite me dead. Of course, that prompted the question “but I thought you said Jesus was all loving?” and then they would wax joyously about the eternal love and joy of Jesus and God’s love.” To which I would replay, so why do I have to bow my head. “He’ll smite you dead.” At which point I had to point out their fundamental logic flaw. I was eight. The next step came in 1972 when my parents decided that they needed some sort of spirituality in their lives. They discovered a group called Mind Dynamics (http://perso.wanadoo.fr/eldon.braun/awareness/mind.htma). This really saved their marriage, and stopped the brutal fights they were constantly having. Wolves, remember. After they went through the seminars, they decided that all five of us kids should go through the program as well. It was amazing, given my religious background. I learned about Krishna consciousness, some Buddhism, some Zen, some Taoist philosophy. About the same time I was learning about these alternative philosophies, I was becoming less and less happy with the teachings I was receiving at school. I was told that I could only be a Mommy, a teacher, a secretary or a nurse. There were no other jobs I could do. And If I wanted to be a mommy, I couldn’t do anything else. I knew these were lies because my Aunt was a doctor and my mother worked with computers (mainframes) and she was still my mommy. I also got sent out of math class because they were teaching the boys how to use slide rules. Since I was a girl, I was never going to do anything technical anyway, and it would have been a waste of time teaching me that skill. (Hah! Showed them!) One of the other things they taught me, that I knew was a lie, was that angels literally lived on the clouds in the sky. And that if you could go up there, you would see them. Because I was an airline brat, I flew all the time. And no one I ever spoke to had ever seen an angel on the puffy white clouds with wings and a harp and a night gown. Ever. Although I do firmly believe that I met an angel when my sisters and I got bumped off a flight in a strange little town. This man in a brown suit bought us dinner and then just walked away. Anyway. It was the combination of the eastern philosophies and the strict Christian doctrine that helped me form my own belief system. I’ve been a neo-pagan for my entire adult life, even before I had a term for it. My husband is a Christian, by the way. He doesn’t really think I’m a neo-pagan, he’s convinced that I’m more of an animist, because I believe that everything has a soul and in the divinity of everything. If one possesses a soul, then one is touched by the godhead. If one is touched by the godhead, then one is divine. The basis for animism is acknowledgment that there is a spiritual realm which humans share the universe with. The concepts that humans possess souls and that souls have life apart from human bodies before and after death are central to animism, along with the ideas that animals, plants, and celestial bodies have spirits. http://www.mnsu.edu/emuseum/cultural/religion/animism/beliefs.html

no excercise for me today, went to the ER instead.(asthma)

I met my DH at work, after I'd stopped trying to meet a nice guy. He was there all along!

Yeah, what Jenna said!

Actually Jamie, I'm a neo-pagan, and yes, I have cast healing spells. My profession is computer security. When you have access to everything on a network, well, if you are not scrupulously ethical, you can do a lot of damage. you know were all the bodies are burried, so to speak. ... If you are designing the security controls in a system, well, you can put in back doors so you can come back and really do a lot of damage to a system...

About 10 years ago, before the dean of our college would sign my for my graduation, he made me swear a solemn oath that I would only use me powers for good. Talking to several people from my program, NONE of them had to take the same oath. Anyone else have a similar story?

Thank you so much everyone for your kind words of encouragement. I truly cherish the support I find here. Megan, I have been doing a lot of thinking about what it was exactly that I was mourning. Those meditations produced the haiku I previously posted. I’m not really mourning food. I’m mourning the anticipated loss of power. I know that I will not be losing any of my physical strength, but in losing size, I loose intimidation power. I’m sure that makes me sound like a lunatic, or a megalomaniac, or maybe a little of both. I’m sort of built like a prison matron. Picture Queen LaTefa in Chicago. I am fearless, I think, in part because I know that no one is going to mess with me. Mind you, I’m a fluffy bunny inside. While jerks in bars feel no threat in harassing slender women, they think twice about the situation if I have to get involved. This has happened on more than one occasion. I also use my size as a shield and armor against the difficult times I’ve had to endure. My size was a buffer against the wolves that raised me. And unfortunately, I had to take an ambulance ride today. A sudden and severe asthma attack hit me so hard I couldn’t get to my apartment and take a breathing treatment. The good news is that it shouldn’t affect my surgery on Monday. If for no other reason, I want this surgery to help me so I don't die from resperatory failure. My surgery is the 14th, Monday. Thanks again for listening.

good luck Penni! Oh yes, I remember those 2 pound glasses well! I'm so happy you are a candidate for this!

No challenge here, other than the inherent challenge of getup up and exercising! (doing my best Richard Simmons’ impression…) I know we have a few folks who love to dance, some dog walkers and some folks who are working with personal trainers or at gyms. Use this thread to keep track of your daily exercise or come to get your butt kicked by our professional amateur motivator! I walked for 60 minutes today. Went to my first horsemanship class today. No horses, just then introduction. It looks like we get to learn some dressage and how to drive a wagon too! I’m not quite sure what dressage actually is, but we will learn it!

I think we would need to split it into two different scheduled chat times. A transscript of the chat should be made available for those who do not participate in the chat.

I think a therapist should come and give tips on how to deal with coping with newfound social acceptance. The last time I lost a bunch of weight it freaked me out the number of men that started to hit on me.

While I applaud the sentiment behind this idea, I regret to inform you that I cannot in good conscious make this pledge. Not because I am a trouble maker, but because I view it as logically flawed. If I have been active on a particular thread that turns ugly, I would have unwittingly violated that pledge. I’m sure it is because I’ve been out of sorts in general, but this smacks of a loyalty pledge. I have a very deep problem with loyalty pledges. I worry that other people will see this thread and be put off as well. I have accepted the terms that Alex B. set out, and that is good enough for me. So maybe I’m a trouble maker after all.

I haven't lost any weight since I've been using the C-pap machine. However, as much as I hate that machine, I use it every night. I feel like crap when I don't use it. It really has made such a huge difference in the way I feel. Congrats on taking contol Kathy. (oh, my Dr. told me a couple years ago that all I needed to do was take up running. Yeah, right, me run for anything less than my car blowing up???)

All right Babs, I'm hanging with you! By Sept I should be a sexy size 18!

I strip myself naked Nothing holds the wolves at bay Pain, a standard clutched All protection gone Gone are my shield and armor Wit, my soul weapon how will I to protect my tender heart from cruel life my size my armor Facing my failure Options fade like mist on fields Facing my future