Jen35

I'm glad it wasn't something life threatening:) I get costochondritis as well and it is VERY painful. Feels like a heart attack every time. My doctor recommended heat for the pain and it seems to work. I haven't tried ice. Hope you feel better soon!

Hi, I know is is an older post, but I was so happy to find it. I just recently joined this site and I am planning to be sleeved in January. I have RA (mild) and fibromyalgia. Someone recenlty created a group on here for RA an/or auto-immune diseases. You should all join so we can all compare notes:) I'm trying to figure out if I should stop the Plaquenil before surgery or not?? My surgeon doesn't think it should be an issue, but I'm not so sure.

I can't belive she said that to you!! Insurance companies do not cover surgeries that are not needed. If you didn't meet their criteria for medically necessary, they would not pay for it.

I'm pre-op too (hoping for January if all is approved) and I can understand how you feel. I have spent so much time beating myself up for not being able to do this on my own. But I've tried so many times and the weight is really affecting my life, happiness and health. My brother told me this: If I had to go in for heart surgery to improve my health, would I be down on myself for not being able to fix it on my own? No, of course not. So that is how I'm choosing to think about WLS. For whatever reason, our bodies hold onto the weight, gain easier, etc. We have medical reasons we need the surgery and it is not a failure on our part. Hope this helps:) Try not to be so down on yourself (although I have the same problem with that)!

I decided on the sleeve for the following reasons: No malabsorbsion issues that could lead to other health issues No rerouting of the intestimes Reduction in hunger hormones I can still take NSAIDS and other meds (like Prednisone) that I need for my Rheumatiod Arthritis. The surgeon basically told me that I couldn't have RNY due to the RA. I also know people who have had both surgeries. My brother had VGS 2 years ago and lost 150 pounds. He was 400 pounds and could put the food away. Now he is still very restricted in how much he can eat (stomach hasn't stretched), but he can eat/drink anything he wants. He hasn't gained anything back. Someone else I know had RNY about 6 months ago. She had well over 100 pounds to lose, but stopped at 60 because she can tolerate (and eats) ice cream and other things with no problem. Now her stomach is starting to stretch. It's really a personal decision based on what is best for you. My surgeon has said that he is now doing more sleeves because insurance companies are starting to cover the surgery when that didn't before. Many people wanted VGS but got RNY because the insurance would cover it.

I'm pre-op and scared as well. I think it's normal and part of the process. This is a huge, life-changing surgery, so it's to be expected. I'm afraid of the risks, but I feel the benefits outweight them for me. I'm 35 and my mom died of breast cancer at 39. I'm more afraid of the health risks I'm facing at this point than the surgery. This site is a great resource. Best wishes and keep us posted.

I'm on the fence on this one. I'm pre-op and maybe I'll feel differently later, but at this point I've only told a few close people that I will be having WLS. And not all overweight people really want to know - they can be judgemental too. One of the friends I told has a higher BMI than I do and she is very judgemental about the surgery. I agree that this should be something that we are proud of and should be able to shout on the rooftops. But, let's face it, people judge us for being overweight and I don't want that judgement AGAIN after I've undergone surgery to NOT be overweight. Yes, people will notice the weight loss and ask. This doesn't make it their business. If I got a boob job, and people noticed that my boobs were noticably larger, is it okay for them to come up and ask me about it? Then am I obligated to tell them the whole story as to why I made the decision, change the stereotypes they may have about it, etc.? NO - it is not any of their business because it's my body. I'm not a liar. I just choose not to tell strangers all of my business as with the rest of my personal life. I will tell them what they need to know and I will tell others of my choosing that I had surgery. Okay, maybe I'm not on the fence about this! lol

nectar and unjury also have sample packs you can order. I ordered them but haven't tried them yet. I've heard great things about both.

Amazing! You look great (and happy). Wonderful accomplishment:)

Wow! Not cool!

It's not always 6 months for the insurance requirements (although a lot of them require 6 months). Mine only requires 3 months and it goes by calendar month (so I could have an appointment 2 weeks apart as long as they are in separate calendar months). I saw the doctor and the nut in October, again in November and my final appointment is Dec. 6. Then they will send the information to the insurance for approval with a hopeful surgery date in January (only because the insurance can take up to 30 days to approve). That is a pain that she isn't being helpful:(

Cool!!! My second appointment with the doc went much better. I think the first appoinment must have been a bad day or something. He seemed in a much better mood:) He did say that he wants me to have an endoscopy to check for a hernia since I have reflux. He can fix it at the same time if so.

I'm so sorry you are going through this:( My husband I went though some issues a few years ago. I felt he wasn't trying anymore, wasn't putting in the work on our relationship. I tried talking to him but I was hurting so much that it was really hard to express everything to him. We ended up going to marrriage counseling and it was the best thing! Our marriage is much better now. Keep in mind that you both have to want the relationship to work and to put in the effort required. I would start by sitting down and talking to your wife honestly and openly. If that is too hard, maybe write it down in a letter. See if she is open to counselling. I have also heard of a book but haven't read it about love languages. I can't remember the name. It talks about how different people need to be shown love in different ways. Maybe you both speak different "love languages" and need to touch base on what you each need from the other. I hope she comes around and your relationship improves. Best of luck and hang in there.

I can't believe that! I'm sorry, honey. Many people would not have even tried. God saw that you tried and that's what counts. Feel better knowing that

I'm pre-op and will (hopefully) be sleeved in January. My husband, siblings, BF and one other friend know. I may tell others when I get a surgery date, but I don't even know if the insurance will approve me, so no point in telling anyone else until it's set. My husband is on board because, frankly, he needs the surgery even more than me. He has uncontrolled diabetes, high cholesterol, etc. But he's not ready yet. He's been doing a lot of research with me, though. My brother had VGS 2 years ago and he is my biggest supporter. He lost 150 lbs. and LOVES his sleeve. My BF is amazing and I knew she would be supportive, even though she is very small. She knows my struggles and wants me to be the best I can be. I struggled with telling the other friend because she is overweight as well and is very competitive with everything. Since our kids were small (very close to each other in age), she has compared them constantly. (My XXX is taller than your YYY. Did my XXX gain an inch over YYY?) She hasn't been very supportive, though she hasn't been really negative. I only told her because we used to be close and we see eachother a lot. I knew she would find out eventually anyway. I've dealt with her pretty well. I will probably tell other people on a case-by-case basis after surgery.

Dlmeekie, I love your post. I'm pre-op and I can already see this happening with one of my friends. Fortunately, I could see the writting on the wall about our friendship a while ago and started making some distance. But it's sad to think that so many people judge us for being "fat" and then when we lose the weight we are judged by our own friends. This does seem to weed out those who really care about us for the right reasons.

My anxiety causes this too. Sometimes as soon as I wake up I feel panicky. Anti-anxiety meds help me though.

Not catty at all. I've spent my entire adult life overweight. I'm looking forward to looking better and feeling more confident. (Even though this is not the only reason I'm getting WLS). I am planning a trip with my siblings to Mexico in September and I plan on rocking some skimpy clothes for the first time in almost 20 years!!!

Well, I have calmed down a bit and I guess I am being over sensitive. I should take this at face value and not read anything into it. It's just hard to take that first step to make the appointment and start talking about all this "stuff" to someone I don't know and now I have to do it all over again. Thanks for the encouraging responses. Sometimes I need an objective opinion:)

I don't know how, but apperantly I did... I'm pre-op and I know I have issues with food (don't we all?) so I thought therapy would be a good idea through this process. I researched and found one I clicked with over the phone and met with her for my first appointment on Monday. She did an hour long intake (LOTS of background questions) and I scheduled my next appointment for this Monday. Everything seemed to be fine. Today, I get a voice message stating that her boss is very sick (when I was there her boss had a cold, wth?) and she has to run the office; therefore, she cannot take any new patients. Umm, I'm not new, you have already started seeing me! She emailed me a list of other therapists in the area with 2 that she recommended. And she is "sorry for the inconvenience". You mean the hour that I wasted answering very detailed questions of my painful past and the co-pay that I paid you for nothing?!? Thanks a bunch! I don't think I buy her story, so now I feel so very wonderful that even a therapist rejected me. Great for the ego (dripping with sarcasm). I'm I too messed up for her to deal with? I can find another therapist, but it's a pain in the $#% to start the process over when I had just found someone I felt I could talk to.

I am sort of in your boat. I haven't told many people I plan to have the surgery. Just my family and 2 of my friends. My best friend was happy for me, realizing that I have done all the research or I wouldn't even be considering this. She knows the struggles with my weight and health I have gone through. My other friend I'm not as close to but our kids are in a lot of the same activities. We've also done weight watchers together and she has always struggled with weight as well. She weighs more than I do but doesn't have health issues. Since I've told her, she has made comments like "I just couldn't do that - it's so drastic" and "I've heard that those seminars make it sound weight loss is hopeless without the surgery". Well, she is taking diet pills (who knows what's in them) and if she had a better solution, she would have lost the weight a long time ago. She is a very competitive person, which is why I struggled with telling her in the first place (and why we aren't close friends anymore). I realize that most of her "concern" is not concern for me, but concern that I may be successful at losing the weight and where will that leave her? I told her because I knew she would find out eventually and I've realized that I don't care about her issues. She can do the research and decide if this is something that is right for her. Or not. I've done my research and feel this is the best choice for me. My family and my BFF are in my corner. I'm not worried about the others who do not have my best interests at heart.

I will be finishing my 3 month pre-op program at the beginning of December. So I should be sleeved sometime in January as long as my insurance approves I was looking for a Jan 2013 forum, but it's not out there yet. We need one! I'm in the St. Louis area and Dr. Richardson from the New Start program will be doing my surgery. I can't wait!!!

Not being honest with your surgeon is dangerous. Your life is in their hands and this is a piece of information that they need to keep you healthy and alive. If you tell them and they cancel your surgery, there is a good reason for that. The goal of the surgery is to be healthy, not cause other (possibly worse) problems.

Way to GOOOO! You rock:D

Yesterday, I saw the nut and the doctor for my second monthly appointment (out of 3). I am right at a BMI of 39.9 (it was 39.7 last month) which is not enough to be approved by my insurance since I apparently don't have the co-morbidities they look for with a BMI less than 40. They said that RA doesn't usually count (only regular arthritis) and other than that I only have GERD. I asked the nut about feeling like I'm in limbo, since I can't really work on losing weight yet or I may not get approved. And apparently I need to gain a little instead. She said she doesn't want to tell me to gain weight by next appointment, but to bring a big bottle of Water with me and drink a lot right before I weigh in. I'm of the opinion that I will get a few rolls of quarters and put them in my pockets:) LOL Also she said they want me focusing on changing behaviors in preperation for how I will need to eat for the surgery (ie drinking all my water and without a straw, no carbonated beverages, etc.) during this 3 month "diet" imposed by the insurance rather than dieting. Surgeon wants me to do an upper endoscopy prior to the surgery since I have GERD to check for a hiatal hernia. Apparently that can cause the reflux problems and he can fix the hernia during surgery (yay!). Not looking forward to the endoscopy - I'm scared of the gagging and feeling that something is going down my throat, but he said that I will be out of it (he will do the endoscopy). It won't happen until after I'm approved. Good news - he said that I will only have to do a 1 week liquid pre-op diet. MUCH better than 2 weeks. He also said that I should be able to continue taking the Plaquenil for my RA since it isn't a strong immuno-suppressor, but to check with my Rheumy doctor just in case. That is all - now I just wait.