I really have a problem with my relationship with my wife. We have been married for 12 years. I still love her but I feel she is no longer interested in me are our marriage. I guess she has not been interested in awhile but we just keep letting it go on. I really just want some attention from herI

Jknight , Have you tried to talk to her and put it all on the table ? Good , bad or indifferent ? ... Maybe you should just approach her and say I realize the tension or I think we need to sit down and discuss where this is going ....

Don't try so hard. Do you. This is what this journey is all about. I've been having many personal issues family members that think I'm being selfish for having the surgery. This is how I've just now started to realize how much I did and am backing off. They are all starting to come around slowly.

It's not over it's still very hard and you will get depressed which seems so stupid because you should be so happy with your weight loss but we have all been a little messed up in the head for many years. Thats why we gained the weight in the first place. The VSG helped me realize that. I try to remind myself all the time.

Don't let things bother you just focus on your weight loss and she wants it she will come around. If not your going to look great and there's another one coming. LOL

Yes talk to her and explain how you feel. Sometimes in relationships its easy to shut each other out and forget how to get close again or express how we feel because of hurt..I hope the talk goes well and things rekindle. Wishing you a happy holiday:)

I'm so sorry you are going through this:( My husband I went though some issues a few years ago. I felt he wasn't trying anymore, wasn't putting in the work on our relationship. I tried talking to him but I was hurting so much that it was really hard to express everything to him. We ended up going to marrriage counseling and it was the best thing! Our marriage is much better now. Keep in mind that you both have to want the relationship to work and to put in the effort required.

I would start by sitting down and talking to your wife honestly and openly. If that is too hard, maybe write it down in a letter. See if she is open to counselling. I have also heard of a book but haven't read it about love languages. I can't remember the name. It talks about how different people need to be shown love in different ways. Maybe you both speak different "love languages" and need to touch base on what you each need from the other.

I hope she comes around and your relationship improves. Best of luck and hang in there.

The book spoken about above is called 5 love languages, it's ok. I highly recamend love and respect though or the love dare. They turn the focus around, instead of wishing your spouse would change, you change and in the process of loving her better she awakens and slowly becomes exactly who you need. Wishing she would be different while growing bitter will never be as effective as serving her and changing the environment that she lives in. Kill her indifference with kindness and sacrifice. Fight for your marraige! Nothing worth having comes easy!

I am preop and cannot get surgery until February or March. My husband has always been about 30 pounds heavier than me but he has recently lost weight and is now two or 3 pounds lighter than me. I feel terribly insecure and self-conscious and I don't want anything to do with him sexually now, if that is what you mean. My husband is now super Confident and that turns me off even more. He is looking very handsome, but it is making me feel worse about myself

Maybe this is what is going on?

My marriage isn't the best, but from what I hear, it's all about communication.

Living in the Greater Los Angeles, I listened to the Mark and Brian radio show for many, many years. Mark retired this summer and has started a podcast with his wife of 30 years, Lynda. The podcast is based around family and marriage. Give it a listen.

http://www.markandlynda.us/

Good Luck!!

Thanks for all the comments

My marriage isn't the best' date=' but from what I hear, it's all about communication.

Living in the Greater Los Angeles, I listened to the Mark and Brian radio show for many, many years. Mark retired this summer and has started a podcast with his wife of 30 years, Lynda. The podcast is based around family and marriage. Give it a listen.

http://www.markandlynda.us/

Good Luck!![/quote']

Thx for the podcast info!