LinSmargiassi

I think you should take time to recognize that not everything goes according to plan. But if you don't go through this process you will never get to the place you want to be. Change is hard for more than one reason - it's all the crap around it that MAKES it so hard!! Preparing yourself for surgery also means facing the things that are the most discouraging and beating them by not allowing those issues to make you quit! You can DO this - do it for showing yourself how committed you truly are!!!! Believe me I felt the SAME way and it has taken me more than a year to get where I am and I will be having my surgery very soon. I had moments EXACTLY like what you are describing so I KNOW!! BE REALLY GOOD to yourself by NOT giving up!!!!

I find it so informing and frankly, so interesting to hear how the stories of us who are overweight/obese are as varied as our lives and challenges. We all got here differently - no matter that the math is the same, you know what I mean?

I think I'm an emotional eater, but I'm not sure. You know how people go out and celebrate with a dinner at the close of a successful project or effort? I've certainly participated in that often enough, but not like having a party of one or anything like that. I do often notice though that I fly out the door without thinking about food and then I'm out and it's like, "^%! I forgot to eat"! So I end up grabbing something I shouldn't most often... a chocolate shake or a diet coke and sandwich. I never drink sugary drinks, ironically - but then i'll have a chocolate shake for a meal. That just doesn't work. So, I lack the ability or desire to plan. I don't want to think about food. I don't love to cook and I don't want to be in the kitchen for hours on end.

I do, however, want to go parasailing, snow tubing, ATV'ing, and sky-kiting during my lifetime. Last year I had to have a total knee replacement, and within the next year I may need to have the other knee done (in addition to this sleeve surgery) because I have a devastating form of Rheumatoid Arthritis. That surgery was EXTREMELY painful and the pain lasted for months because of the way it had to be done on me. I'm thinking this surgery (VSG) will be easy by comparison, but getting my mind to cooperate is going to be the challenge.

Thanks for all your input. Mucho appreciado!

It very well could be. You know those éclairs that the grocery store has - the ones at the bakery? They come in a plastic container w/ about 5 large ones? Ya - they are also tasteless. Well, when I am having a bad day or an emotional one - I find myself at the grocery store - buying them - eating them in the car on the way home - then throwing the box away before going inside – then becoming upset that I ate them all. I have done this about 20+ times in the last 19 years. It wasn't until I was in therapy that I realized it was a connection to my mom. When I was younger, we used to go to a real bakery, and she would share an éclair with me. I guess it was my way of re-connecting with her subconsciously.

That makes total sense to me. My mom and I used to take my Dad to work, and then we'd go to the Dunkn Donuts nearby where he worked and she'd get a coffee and I'd have a donut and milk before she took me to school. I really loved her - and I loved that I had a special connection with her that seemed different than my sister did. Maybe it was because I was so much more needy than my sister was... I don't know.

But bread for sure seems to be my trigger. And I will deal with this in therapy I'm sure.

Thanks for your reply, I appreciate your honesty so much.

I too have had those moments where I eat and then I feel guilty for it. I guess that is sort of the sign of an eating disorder. I never thought of it that much before though.

Good luck to you on your journey!

I'm wondering if I'll need therapy every other day for the first 6 months, or year - or more...

I hate not knowing something!

WOW - a lot of surgeries tomorrow so I'm sending you all very best wishes and hopes for good surgery and great recovery and to keep moving through!! Keep going, because you're WORTH it and you DESERVE to have good health!!!

Everything I have read, and the experience of a couple of friends tell me that it takes a little time for the fluid to adjust and come off, and time for your body to recognize what has happened. Give it some time and focus on your healing instead of the weight. It will start to come off when your body has it's A-ha moment!