RJ'S/beginning

Nope @@gomekast I can't. I can eat vanilla and coconut but not the fruit ones. My blood sugar has been all over the place. My daughter has been helping me try to settle it. I had a bad attack last night and this morning. I ate white bread and cheese for lunch. No, no, From now on it is multi-grain bread a little slice of fruit and a Protein. That seems to settle it. This morning it want from 10.1 to 2.2 and then back up to 5.3.... No more white flour or refined sugar for me. I have to attack this like someone would who has Dietetics.... Complex carbs with a bit of protein and a little fresh fruit.... Can't depend on protein alone it does not turn to sugar fast enough. So I have to eat a combo of it....Some fun eh Bambi!

Congrats @@Aaron !

Thank you @@Chelenka !

Thanks @@Recycled it meant a lot to me coming from you...It truly does..

Thank you @@Ginger Snaps I paid a big price for this...pardon the pun! We can all do it including you kid!

Today I weighed myself and I was 180 on the dot. That means as of today 200 unwanted lbs, have left the building. I never ever thought I could get this far.... Thanks to most of you who have inspired me and encouraged me and helped me with all my problems thus far!!!!!

Congrats on your NSV. Keep a record..your going to get a lot more!

Oh look at that..Not only a wonderful compliment but you are able to run up and downs stairs easily...Way to go!!!!!

Dense protein is going to change the entire thing....It will fill you up and close that flap on the bottom of your stomach....

Wow..Never heard of this..Will be looking into the info mentioned...

What do you mean b y the term you have a unique perspective? @@Chelenka Hope I don't regret asking that...lol

You know what @@Madam Reverie all of the things we deal with effect us in the positive or negative. I feel very bad about your friend...Your allowed your pain. Hope things get better for you hun! When you love someone dearly the pain can be too much to handle.... Sorry again! I hope all improves for you..honest and true! XXXX

I love you, too, Rj.. But seriously.. you're better than these superficial insecurities. You know this. We know this. You're our bariatric mother, after all. And that is meant with deep love and affection. No surrender, my love. Ever! Big hugs and kisses xxxxxx Now, who wants to get into it with me tonight. I'm ready. OH BOY! AM I READY!!!! Guess I just had a bad couple of weeks...You know like you! Had to deal with all the crap life hands you and come out on top.....Felt a little off set...Going back to the hospital for 6 more days kinda threw me back into a dark feeling of misery....I will try my very best to remember what you said! Thanks again Rev's

Very few people have a stent that does not cause discomfort. i had 2 at the same time..1 for 6 weeks and then a second one on top of the first one for another 6 weeks....The pressure in my chest was unreal. No one lied to me and told me it would not hurt. I was on a constant serving of pain meds and anti nausea meds the entire time. When I had my fluids I kept bringing them up. But I survived and went on to the next part of the repairs.... No this is not easy and people can not stand it when they have them.. But!!!!!!!!!!!! In the long run..If it fixes the leak you are ahead of the game.....Do it to save your sleeve and ask for meds when you need them..... I am so sorry you are going through this..But I will not lie to you... It does not feel nice at all! But it is going to help your sleeve....

I guess I had a moment @@Madam Reverie It is part of the human condition....I stand corrected in that you have pointed out that it is me that is the issue here. My perception......oops! No hard feelings here Rev's always a pleasure to hear your side of it all......You rock!

Wait! @@bearman99 Is that like in Peter Pan when Peter says " I do believe in fairies, I do believe in Fairies " LOL You made me laugh! Thanks!

Canada.....Eastern Canada...... I am very pleased with my surgeon and his care of me....He was amazing with an amazing rep. I just rolled the dice and came up with the bad odds....Sucks ..But no regrets here!

Yes that is exactly part of the topic here......It is sad. It makes me feel bad that we are so unkind to ourselves and we don't except who we have become and let the rest go.. Learning to love yourself then and now no matter where you are in this life changing challenge!

@@LipstickLady it is all intertwined into our heads. How we feel about ourselves. Our doubts about ourselves. Shame at who we were and so on. There is not just one facet of this situation. Some of us get stuck where we were and then feel so disgusted with ourselves that when posting...I see their hurt and their fear and then wonder if I should have felt that way too. We all read things on here that helped us to learn. Teach us the steps of this journey. But I guess for me I had a moment of self doubt myself. Thinking that I was not disgusted enough with myself...Because I look back on my photo and think there's what you were and here you are now. I am not afraid to show my 380 lb body from the past as it taught me that I really needed help and I asked for it..Should I be ashamed because I was heavier then those who belittle themselves with cruel self destructive comments that are smaller then me at the gate.... I thought about it and no I should not...Do I feel bad for those who continue to be stuck where they were and don't see themselves as reaching out, looking ahead and leaving it in the past..YES I feel bad because I am awe struck by the folks on here that have pushed themselves and are doing it.... I guess I feel bad in both areas...I maybe have to talk a little to myself as well and decide if it was alright that I was 380 lbs. I never thought of it before this week or so. Because of everything I went through. Everything I am going through makes it worth while because I rarely ever think of the 380 lb woman anymore. There, maybe I answered the question already. I am so caught up in the new and improving me. The things I am learning and the forum and those who are coming on here after me, that I for some reason do not look at it that I am horrified at what I was... I started to feel that maybe I did not see how bad it really was. I started to doubt my own thoughts about how I felt about myself before and on this path. If you don't understand....That's okay.....I don't understand everything everyone says either.....

That a girl... @@Teachamy own it!!!!!!

When I was 210 I went to WW and was scared to death about my gain...I did not have any other options at the time that I knew about..If I had I would have taken it even then.....Now these procedures are becoming more in the public eye as they see a need to help us in our fight... Trust me @@Ginger Snaps I would have done it then like you with no guilt......Your one that has caught it before it gets really unhealthy...I admire that in you!

As I said it can be as bad the other way as well.....I just think like I have repeated over and over again..To celebrate the new emerging you and don't pick on her/him for their past....( I am referring to self destructive thoughts ) Not what someone else says...... We have endured enough pain and we can all express it but if you are almost there and you still think you are a horrible person and cannot get past the past......It just makes me feel so bad! That's all!

Boy I hope it does eventually! Or do we just replace one demon for another....I just don't know!

I never said that anyone was judging anyone else...I said that it got me thinking about a whole lot of stuff about myself and how terrible people feel about themselves even after they have gone forward and started to fix it......I think that it is a good thing to not forget where you started. But I think too that you should celebrate the new you emerging and not hold on to the painful way we thought about ourselves.....You are no longer that person as I am not! Like I said maybe it is because I just got home from the hospital after a 6 day stay from another complication...I don't know...I just feel so bad that people loath themselves for who they were in size. They never robbed banks, killed people or caused injury to someone.. .But they treat themselves by their thinking worse then some who have done all these things.... I just want to see everyone enjoying the trek....Not continue to beat themselves up over it.....It is just who I am!!!

That is what we are here for to be supportive to everyone when they are down and out.... I just don't like the way they see themselves and it bothers me in a way because I started to see myself worse in my own eyes then I saw myself before...... Shame does not work but it does effect us in a negative way.......I feel bad but somehow it got to much for me this week. I think because I read it in a number of posts....Self loathing for the past....It has to be put in its place... the past....I understand. I feel the pain for others....But can't help thinking that maybe I did not feel bad enough about myself before I did this....I don't know.....It is just weird for me to explain today. Yesterday it seemed easier!