RJ'S/beginning

He seems to me to be the real deal......Someone who knows it is a day to day struggle to keep the food addiction in check......Thank you for bringing his story to our attention Alex...I think I like this guy..He certainly is keeping it honest!

Thank you hun..

Thank you both

Standing outside this morning I looked about and all was quiet. Moments later a light breeze started to affect one of the Maples we planted thirty years ago. It drew my attention because it was a soft rustling noise that came from no where and sounded peaceful and pleasant. Suddenly in the distance I could hear the rumbling of thunder and it felt ominous. Approaching my peaceful moment with the ability to give me cause to worry. It hit me that the entire experience of a few moments was comparable to the journey of weight loss surgery. We get to a point where we give in and think that we have reached the bottom of our life. There is nothing left and we think there is nothing for us out there to help or offer us an option to turn our lives around. But through gentle words and in the form of encouragement by family, friends and the medical field we learn about Bariatric Surgery. We are offered a tool that can assist us to find a new path to good health and well being. A fear builds deep within us but we know inside that this is the only option left. This is make or break it time and we have no where else to go. We see our mortality and the future looks dim. We are willing to do what it takes to find ourselves on the other side which offers a new life without food addiction. We can't even imagine how that would feel to be thin and in good health. Finally having the real control of our future and our lives. Not being the object of well intentioned or intentional comments or opinions that hurt so deep we feel wounded and or scarred for the rest of our days. But it is not to be. We have an option. A gentle breeze overcomes us as we realize we do have an option. We do have a future. One that will keep us around long enough to enjoy the rest of our lives as the person we always wanted to be. Being able to watch our children grow up and then the grandchildren. Not to mention doing all the things you thought you would never do. Making a bucket list of experiences you want to have and places you want to go. Not to mention the effects this new and improved you will have in a positive way with your family and friends, work acquaintances and yes even strangers. This is the gentle breeze of realization that is engulfing your spirit and giving you hope for a better life ahead. When does the thunder roll in the distance to threaten this new found peace you are experiencing? When you realize that it will take real effort on your part to accomplish this. When you take the time to really start changing how you view food and figure out why you used food as a comfort in good times and in bad. We are conditioned to believe that food plays a much bigger roll in our lives then simply giving us the proper nutrients to keep our bodies in good working order. By well meaning parents who told us how it was so important to clean our plates to the diet industry that makes millions off of failed diets. The false comfort in the form of food related slogans that advertising companies use to make us think that food equals happiness. That food is the backbone of our lives. Here are a few. Help yourself to happiness – Golden Coral Come hungry, leave happy – IHOP Unwrap a smile – Little Debbie's Comfort in every bite – Mars Bar Life tastes better with KFC – Kentucky Fried Chicken Little nuggets of joy- McDonald's Chicken McNuggets Double your flavor,double your fun – Double Mint Gum Feels like home – Sarah Lee Get your smile on – Lay's And on and on, teaching us that food is the answer to all our woes and will bring us happiness. But we know from our own personal experiences that this is not the case. And yet we battle these feelings of needing food as the drug of choice to fulfill in us an emptiness every single day. We find ourselves reverting back to the habits that has brought us momentary relief only to find that it did not help at all. This is the thunder that we all experience in our journey. The fight to stay on course and not give into the heavy winds and booming sounds of habit or the artificial comfort of using food to make us feel better. We are in a war. We will win a battle at a time. We will get there. Maybe not today or tomorrow but we will control this disease. Weight loss surgery is our tool to learn new life long habits and choices that will once again bring the gentle breeze of hope and then success.

Rosie is known for her outrageous comments! Of course she is going to criticize other surgeries because she did not choose that one. Does not make her view on the View right. Somewhere out people will start to realize that all weight loss surgeries are the tool for those of us that are at that point in our lives where we need help. Like she did! That is what she should be focusing on not the procedures themselves. I don't watch the view either. Too jumbled with a lot of tension.

Skinny jeans! Bah,ha,ha! True though.

Thank you FairySleeve. That was nice of you to say!

Are we resilient in our weight loss journey? Do we know our weaknesses and strengths and fight the urges to give into our old ways? Do we still use food as a form of comfort, celebration, reward, socialization and escape from the feelings we are having at that moment, good or bad! Can we push our way through these deep rooted emotions and become healthy and happy? Pushing Your Way Through I have a few Hollyhocks in my garden that just grew there. I did not plant them. I did not take the time to make a place for them so that they would stand out as specimen plants. No tender loving care was bestowed on these flowers to help them become the plants I found stunning and beautiful with their rich outer color of burgundy with soft pink centers. What a delight to find these treasures in my garden. They found their way into my world without so much as a finger lifted on my part. Before this summer I saw Hollyhocks as a simple, common plant. To someone else it is possible that they are the gem of plants. Maybe a reminder of the good old days when things were simple and sweet. My grandmother grew hers around back of the old outhouse on her farm. That is how I remember them. How did they come into my garden? The seed was most likely transferred in the breeze and made its way to me. Even though I did nothing to help them grow and take root in my garden, I have come to see that they now belong there. They did all the work and I now admire them for their resilience. When referring to ecological resilience, it is the ability to return to its original state after being disturbed. You see, about nine or ten years ago I pulled every single Hollyhock out of my garden replacing them with other tall flowers. I had not seen any trace of them since. But now there are new ones. They were insistent and settled themselves in among the other plants and kept pushing until they stood tall and bloomed in all their glory. Resilience has yet another meaning. It is the ability to make realistic plans , being capable of taking the necessary steps to follow through. A positive self-concept and confidence in ones strengths and abilities. Having communication and problem-solving skills. And the ability to manage strong impulses and feelings. Are we resilient in our weight loss journey? Do we know our weaknesses and strengths and fight the urges to give into our old ways? Do we still use food as a form of comfort, celebration, reward, socialization and escape from the feelings we are having at that moment, good or bad! Can we push our way through these deep rooted emotions and become healthy and happy? Or are we easily stomped out and have little to no strength and will power when it gets difficult. Becoming overwhelmed by other things that can easily crowd out our conviction to reach our goals. By retraining our brains, finding our trigger points and looking at food in a new light we can win this battle and become successful in our endeavor to feel better and healthier. Having real control. Finally putting dieting in the past and living each day a new. Learning more and more how we can win the war not just the battle of obesity. The odds are against us, our past experiences of weight loss and regain have made us timorous about our future and our weight management. At those times maybe we were not ready or we denied ourselves food or it was a fad diet of some sort that we had to follow. Whatever it was. That is in the past! Now is the time to see a new and improved you with a brighter future of no weight related health issues. A busier and more fulfilled life ahead of us. If we really want it, it is there for the taking. Weight loss surgery is the tool that will give us the time we need to get help to fix why we became obese in the first place. No one said it was going to be easy. No wait! Those who have not experienced what it takes mentally, emotionally and physically to be successful might not understand all of it and use the over used quote, ' you are taking the easy way out.' But no matter. It is about us forcing our way through the hard times, the painful times and yes even the good times. Like the Hollyhocks in my garden that planted themselves there against all probability. We too can push our way through and plant ourselves in the garden of life with a new healthier us with a bright and colorful future ahead of us with the help of one of the weight loss surgeries that are available to us.

I cried as I read your story. I so love a happy ending! Congratulations on all your successful climbs in life! You inspired me. Thank you!

Thank you so much!

Michelangelo was considered the greatest artist of his day. Even now he is considered to be one of the supreme artists of all time. His works in painting, sculpture, and architecture rank among the most famous in existence. His creations in every field during his life time was prodigious. The sheer volume of correspondence, sketches, and reminiscences that have survived to this day is also part of his legacy. He is the most documented artist of the 16th century. He could take a piece of stone, say marble, look at it, study it and see what lay inside that piece of rock. He saw beauty in it and worked until that beauty was exposed. He would chip away at the stone little by little shaping it, molding it, working every angle of the rock to make sure that what he saw inside would come to life at his hands. He stood back and looked at his progress and wondered if he was getting the results he knew was inside. He measured, considered and chipped away until the piece was perfect in his mind. Did he expect to find the beauty within the stone in two months? Or even a year? Maybe! Most likely not as his work was calculated and loved as he proceeded to get the most out of the marble that he was working with. His love and artistry has lasted down through the centuries and has awed many of us to this day. Some who dabble in the arts would long to be a fraction of the greatness attributed to Michel Angelo. He worked at it until it was the beautiful piece that he intended it to be. Did he give up! No! Did he question his thoughts and his fortitude to complete the work? Most likely. But without his hard work and seeing his art through to a finish, he would not have been the man everyone considers to be the ultimate artist of all time. Are we like Michelangelo's in our journey to find the beauty within the shell that we are chipping away at bit by bit. Shaping and forming and rebuilding until we have the desired results needed to say our work is complete. Or do we continue to chip and chip away at ourselves with negative talk or expectations of more then what we can find in ourselves? Do we want to go far beyond what is possible and put ourselves in a position where we will never be content and happy about who we have become. Or who we are meant to be for that matter. Do we long to look like we did at sixteen and therefore set ourselves up for failure! What is the goal here? Is it working to get healthy and improve our lives and well being! Yes most definitely!!! We need to see ourselves as we are meant to be. Not what society dictates as normal today. Stick thin and then some! There is so much fat shaming out there and sadly it is accepted by many! If we buy into this thinking we will believe that our body type is not 'correct'. Therefore we may never see our true wonderful selves. The sacrifices we have made to change our lives such as changed personal and family relationships, even financial sacrifices. Not to mention the courage required to even take this step. Why should we allow society to dictate to us what we should look like. When we decided to have weight loss surgery our goals were to lose the excess weight so that we could become more active and live a better, more fulfilled life. While some of us end up ten or even twenty pounds below what was expected there is another group that have gone well beyond this. Some have traveled this journey and have not taken care to find who they are inside. They have gone beyond what was suggested by their surgeon and nutritionist. Their health has suffered because they did not see the beauty of who they were inside the outside coating. New addictions surfaced by following a rigid former failed diet along with the pressure of wanting to be like others we have seen in movies, magazines, friends or even relatives. Some of us have pushed ourselves to the brink of unhealthiness. Some keep carving and chipping away until there is nothing left to work with and the desired finish is not met. Going beyond what was necessary, to see just how small we can be or weigh can become the central point of our existence. Would it be possible to maintain this new life style? In most cases no. Setting ourselves up to fail again is not the answer to long lasting health benefits. Being balanced in everything will bring us good health. Not to mention the ability to do all the things we listed on that piece of paper stuck to the refrigerator or the goal weight we put down here in our profiles. When deep inside we thought we would never ever get to that goal. Right!? Learning to retrain our brains to see food as a form of nourishment, rather then a reward or a comfort for troubled times. We must learn the best way to feed our bodies so that we will reach our proper weight level resulting in sound health. So where does it end? When will we see ourselves as successful? When will we be able to say, “I finally got here and now I can maintenance it and enjoy the fruits of my labors.” When will it be okay to say, “I am happy with myself and proud of all I have accomplished?” We deserve to say it. We deserve to live it. We need to learn to enjoy the new us and look forward to what life has to offer us. So we can grab it, run with it and live it to the limit! When Michelangelo grew older he started to feel and see his mortality. That was when he sculpted the Rondanini Pieta. This was likely his last sculpture. It was never to be completed because Michelangelo carved it until there was not enough stone left. The legs and a detached arm remain from a previous stage of the work. As it is, the sculpture has an abstracted quality, in keeping with the 20th-century concepts of sculpture. So, may we never over sculpt our body's, suffering the results of it going far beyond who we were meant to be. Believing that there would never be a size that is right for us. We must find a place of contentment. Most of all we must see the beauty within ourselves as we travel this life as a successful weight loss surgery patient.

I had a similar experience today.. I was riding home from the grocery store and the noise of a child crying and nagging for Snacks and drink..A friend babbling in the back seat. My hubby hitting every pot hole he could find..It was the end of a very trying week for me!.....I thought I was going to lose my mind...I told my hubby that if things were how they used to be I would go home and make a big pot of Spaghetti and meatballs. And drown my sorrows...He looked at me and he saw me smile.....I told him thank god I have my tool..Because I can't do it even if I wanted to. And have no desire to do it anyway. But it is amazing to me how close to the surface it always is!!!! I could taste it..The soothing, filling Pasta and sauce with home made meatballs..It was temporary madness...But I find it happens when I think I have it all figured out... Thanks for sharing your story! It gave me a a giggle or two!

I've tried so hard to avoid those parties. Human nature dictates that it is going to happen at times....Looking at this as a life long adventure gives me the courage to not compare or worry about others successes as I will have my own in every way thanks to my sleeve. It is because of WLS that I even have a life.....

I just bawled my head off reading this.....You just want to crawl in a corner and die....doesn't matter what your co-worker said. It was you who felt this woman's pain and it was you who knew what she was feeling and it was you who cried for her.... One change at a time.....One changed feeling at a time.... Your right you know...A lot of people are exactly what the scarecrow said in the wizard of Oz: Scarecrow: "...some people without brains do an awful lot of talking... don't they?"

Way to go Recycled....You may have given him a much longer life...Must feel good!!!!!

I had a car accident 3 years ago. It took 6 very strong people to carry me on a board to the ambulance. I managed to turn and see only 2 carrying another accident victim to the ambulance...horrified I started right then to ball like a baby. i was already set to have surgery but had wished I did not have to wait 4 years for it... I also fainted once because I blew out a rib and the ambulance was told they needed extra help as the woman was over 300 lbs. That went over every radio in the city... A few weeks later I stumbled and my husband said If you fall I will have to call an ambulance to pick you up because I can't. He was not mean it mean or anything... It was just fact.... All the way up to my surgery I was abused like most of you were. Now after all of this....I have decided I will not tolerate it if I see it hear it or learn about these ignorant comments.....I will react..I will take no prisoners! Thank you for your story...I have tears running down my face........

You may find that there is too much food on WW to eat now....But to me whatever works is doable!!!!!!!!!

Think healthy body....So glad things are moving along for you hun!!!! Soon you will be a loser like the rest of us!!!

Scales are for fish! lol

Sometimes I think that you get comments both ways....Too big...too small..You can't win ..You have worked so hard.....I would be sensitive as well....It is a lot of work to do this journey...It is not for the faint of heart.... That said...Listen to your wife's opinion and see yourself for who you have become....Amazing difference I think....

I don't know you at all..But I looked at your pics and you don't look older at all...You look healthier for sure..... Some people think that they are looking out for you and others are just thoughtless..... I have lost a lot of weight and still have a lot to lose and people are telling me I look sick and I just say thank you.....Who needs enemies when you have these friends and family...LOL So I know where you are coming from!

I agree with you....we have taken this on because we are addicted to food and have our own issues with it...We should feel like we are in a understanding and compassionate place....Like I said this does not mean that we can't be honest and helpful and at sometimes even a bit annoyed....But we need to talk to people the way we would want to be talked to...Just my opinion...I guess it can be taken or left..... I sure can admit that this is probably the hardest thing I have ever started and worked at in my life and I have been through some difficult stuff.......I can't count how many mistakes I have made or most likely will make in my life from here on....just hope that if I reach out there will be some fellow sleever's who understand..

I read this and it was very encouraging..Thank you for posting it for all of us!