gretchen_e

Why?
Not one health issue, though some day that might have been factored in.
Why...because I'm totally, 100% shallow. I wanted to have fun shopping for myself, for the first time ever! Mission accomplished. Shopping, even just going to try on clothes because I can.....is fun!
An added bonus, well, there are many of them, but it is wonderful to not be the biggest girl in the room, and many times I am the smallest girl in the room.

I've been obese since I had my youngest kid 23 yrs ago. I have always carried my weight well and others tell me I exude confidence, but inside I have all the body shame and critical self talk. I'm so sick of the constant struggle with food and the shame cycle when I indulge. I've done a lot of work on this in therapy and processed the pros cons of surgery. On top of the mental stuff, There's the physical. I'm tired of my back, knees and feet hurting. I have high cholesterol and all the women on my family have developed diabetes by age 50. I can't do the active things I enjoy as easily when lugging around 75-80 extra lbs. I've developed a bit of a waddle. I can't wait to wear cute clothes and have curves vs rolls and lumps. The list goes on...

I've been obese since I had my youngest kid 23 yrs ago. I have always carried my weight well and others tell me I exude confidence, but inside I have all the body shame and critical self talk. I'm so sick of the constant struggle with food and the shame cycle when I indulge. I've done a lot of work on this in therapy and processed the pros cons of surgery. On top of the mental stuff, There's the physical. I'm tired of my back, knees and feet hurting. I have high cholesterol and all the women on my family have developed diabetes by age 50. I can't do the active things I enjoy as easily when lugging around 75-80 extra lbs. I've developed a bit of a waddle. I can't wait to wear cute clothes and have curves vs rolls and lumps. The list goes on...

I've been obese since I had my youngest kid 23 yrs ago. I have always carried my weight well and others tell me I exude confidence, but inside I have all the body shame and critical self talk. I'm so sick of the constant struggle with food and the shame cycle when I indulge. I've done a lot of work on this in therapy and processed the pros cons of surgery. On top of the mental stuff, There's the physical. I'm tired of my back, knees and feet hurting. I have high cholesterol and all the women on my family have developed diabetes by age 50. I can't do the active things I enjoy as easily when lugging around 75-80 extra lbs. I've developed a bit of a waddle. I can't wait to wear cute clothes and have curves vs rolls and lumps. The list goes on...

I don't fart any more than usual but I did notice during the first six months or so that my farts had that extra special ingredient which made them doubly potent. Now either they have gone back to normal, or everyone else in the house has lost their sense of smell. One thing I know something is killing all our goldfish. I wonder if they're like parakeets.

You are not alone. I am continually surprised and impressed with the quantity of gas I have coming out of me. Not during the day, but at 6am when I wake up. It sounds like frog mating season in my house each morning.
But as far as you being the fart master, hmmm... I don't know. You must pass the test! Here, see this pebble? When you can fart and blow the pebble out of my hand before I close it and leave no skid marks - then and only then will you be the FART MASTER!

I did not post that looking for "permission" to eat junk. I was sharing my struggle and hoping for some encouragement to get back on track. And partly I was posting just to be accountable to myself by making it public. I was being honest.
I really find that there is a lot of negativity and judgement on this forum.
The best advice I've gotten so far was the suggestion about a therapist. The rest is just nasty and judgmental. And to the person who said "stop eating ****"... You are about 4 days out, right? I hope for your sake you don't struggle like I am at 4 months, but at 4 days food made me sick. That changes over time and it does get harder. I'm not making excuses for my choices. Just being real and looking for some help.

Finally able post on a thread I started ......my time frame
232
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Surgery 2-16-2013

I'm just looking forward to a feeling similar to about the 0:32 mark of this clip:
(Warning: content may be offensive to those who don't appreciate good old fashioned tasteless humor)

They did...they are so uncouth! When I cleared my mouth I told them so.

Boots and short skirts!