MamaM

Thanks for the support. It helps. I just felt really bad because I am that go-to person in my family when some folks are in need. And I always try to be there. Normally, i could just stuff my feelings down with food, but them there days are over! So my emotions are just bubbling to the surface.
Anyhoo, she finally came...after I had to guilt trip her into it. And I hate that cuz I really shouldn't have to do that!
But one thing I know now: I may not have supportive family and friends...and now I don't even have food. BUT, I've got ME! And as the weight comes off, I'm getting stronger mentally AND physically. So it's time to set some boundaries so I can make room for more positive people in my life. Cuz I don't think what I asked was too much to ask of anyone. And I cannot even recall the last time I asked for ANYTHING else!
SMDH...

Weighed myself this AM and lost 1.5 lbs while away in TX, so my perceived screw up there didn't hurt the scale. Still glad I came home since I was feeling down and a bit out of control. Hoping I wasn't running away from something I should have been facing, but going easy on myself about it for the moment thanks again for the replies

I admire the way you think through your actions and what's best for you. I have every confidence that you will continue to be successful because you are so reflective. Cut yourself a break and give yourself the positive thoughts you would give to others.
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I think you're being way too hard on yourself. If your stats are current, your BMR is about 1770. Your BMR is the number of calories you have to eat to break even without doing anytthing. Basically if you stayed in bed all day and didn't even move, you'd burn 1770 calories. (Of course, that's just an approximate number.) Any activity at all, anything, increases that number.
The foods and quantities you have posted above put you nowhere near 1770 calories.
So here's the key. Even if the scale registers a higher number, it's not fat. It's Fluid. Believe me - if your Fluid isn't fluctuating enough to impact your weight, then your body is not functioning properly. You're supposed to have some pretty wide fluctuations. That's how your body works. So if you get home and find you weigh more, just remember that weight does not = fat.

To me it doesn't sound like u did that badly. And certainly you are taking this seriously enough to cut your trip short and write about it. That shows a lot of self control and determination on your part, and I think you will do great. I haven't had surgery yet, but I hope that when I get in your position I act that responsible. Don't be so hard on yourself! U are setting a good example that we should be aware of what triggers our eating and change our environment if necessary. I'm sure ur next business trip will be easier, and the next after that. It takes time to unlearn behavior.

My son notices EVERYTHING I eat and don't eat. We talk about healthy foods all the time.

This is an EXACT conversation from yesterday morning. I posted it on Facebook because I was shocked.

""Mommy, I haven't even had Breakfast yet. I'm starving."
"Ok, Babaganoosh, I know you're wasting away to nothing. What do you want?"
"Honey Nut Cheerios."
"There's 1/2 of your cinnamon roll left, do you want to finish that?"
"No, that's not very healthy. Honey Nut Cheerios is healthier. I want that."

"You got it.""

My son's kindergarten teacher this past year and his Summer Camp/Day Care teacher this summer has noticed a change in him and jokingly told me that Junior could teach the nutrition module because everyday he points out the healthy stuff at lunch and the unhealthy stuff. She said he stopped drinking the fruit punch at lunch and gets up and gets Water.

Another example is that yesterday was my niece's 14th birthday party. After her soccer game, we had brunch at a local crepe place. Junior and I shared a shrimp crepe. I ate the shrimp out of my part and he ate his 1/2 and then ate the fideo Soup. Later that day after swimming, we had pizza, chocolate cake and ice cream and I brought some string cheese and baby carrots. Yes he had pizza and we shared some cake and still left some on the plate, but he took my carrots and ate those.



These instances are exactly why I say it's his journey too. I'm not saying all kids are the same, not by a long shot. But he IS watching me and the choices I make. Of course, your mileage may vary. I'm just explaining where I'm coming from.

Home care. With the tpn 24/7 and the pain med patch, still very limited in what I can do/where I can go

Continuing prayers, Ashley. Hope they find out what the reaction was too. Don't want to do that again! Yikes!

I told my 6 year old son. He has been through this journey the whole step of the way. He freaked out about surgery.
He was nervous about the surgery and stayed at my in laws for 4 days. My husband called him as soon as I woke up from the anesthesia and then I called him everyday after. He asks to see my scars and he is now CHOOSING healthy foods so he does not get fat. That's not to say that he doesn't want junk food too, he is 6. LOL
I will say that my son is my BIGGEST cheerleader. He doesn't know what I started at and has never asked, but every Saturday morning he asks me if I lost more weight to get healthy and no matter what I say, whether it's .4, 1, 2 or 3 lbs, his reaction is always the same, "YESSSSSS!", A high five and a big hug.
Before surgery, he told me that he didn't want my big belly to go away because I was soft and comfy. He is a cuddler still. Now, he still sits on my lap while watching movies, but he recognizes that my belly isn't taking up as much room and he tells me he can give me bigger hugs. What Mom doesn't want bigger hugs?
Take your kids on your journey, because it's their journey too.

Thank you (:
Childbirth will be a wiz after all this lol

Going home tomorrow. They're sending me home with my picc line to continue my IV food, nausea meds, and possibly an antibiotic

Great news! Continuing healing prayers!!!!

My appt. was today and it went great. Got my EKG, labs, etc. done and it doesn't look like there'll be any holdup. Yay! One more step out of the way :0)

Hey everyone,
My first oncology appointment is on Wednesday. Wish me luck!! Hopefully I'm cancer free! I don't even know if they can tell me that, but after removing the tumor I hope everything is just fine and I can breathe again! Staying positive for my daughter, but some days are harder than others.
On a lighter note, should hear from the surgeon this week with my insurance approval, going to double check with the oncologist about getting sleeved, but since the other doctors and my surgeon Dr. Looser already sad it was fine I'm feeling confident that I will be sleeved soon!!!!
Thank you everyone for all your love, prayers, support, means the word to me!
Have a wonderful Monday and remember to smile and appreciate everyday!

Stent blocked the leak! now it needs to heal and get this stupid stent out!!

Rough morning, had a leak test this morning. Pain and nausea meds should have been taken before not after lol helped tremendously after though, feeling much better. Infectious disease dr said my saliva gland swelling is completely gone and I'll be off my antibiotic bags (I get 2 kinds, 2 or 3x a day) in 48-72 hours. Surgeon said he's waiting for the official thumbs up from radiology but it looks like the stent fixed the leak (: I'll know officially in a few hours

My wife gave the dog her left over genos pizza bites...while I sit n sip on Protein concoctions....and while I couldn't eat it if I wanted...a part of me wanted to get on the floor and fight her for it lol....anything pizza really..major head issue...
But I am not hungry at all..and while the want or desire is there...I know that its all in my mind...
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She said if you want it like stiff ice cream out the freezer then put it in the freezer for a few, but of you want it kinda like soft serve it should be fine out of the bag. I think I will try it sometime this week.
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My Dr was in the same hospital as my wls surgeon. It ended up they knew each other and my Dr very much respected the need for wls. He was smiling and happy for me. I was so relieved.

Was scared of the same thing... went to the weight loss seminar and met the surgeon even before we (pcp) talked about it. I had a dream he told me I was crazy. I was more anxious about that more than anything.
So I met with my PCP yesterday and it went great. The Bariatric Coordinator gave me a sample letter for the letter of necessity he had to write to my insurance. I filled in the details for him he did not remember and that was it. The letter helped give a frame work for our discussion and whet he needed to know and provide. You are doing this for you, and not to please your PCP. While you need his/her cooperation, you are the one choosing and doing all the work for transformation. Be your best advocate. You are worth it.

Hey guys!! So today was my check up with my personal trainer and I thought I'd share hood news I lost 12 lbs this month, lost 9% of belly fat BUT the important thing was gained some muscle mass !!! Afterall I think I might be eating enough Protein Thank you all for your comments and tips. I did buy some Power Crunch bars n they are delicious wafer type and also some pre made Protein Drinks with 35 grams ., they are good as well!!! yay, 70lbs down and being on a stall for 2 weeks..

Going home in an hour kinda nervous, still afraid of complications showing up.
I have like no desire at all to eat or drink, getting 64 oz is really tough.
Definitely think this sleeve is gonna keep me in losers land, if my appetite stays like this.

This is an update...My gut feeling was correct. I talked to a fellow RN at work who was familiar with my doctor, and she said, "Oh, HE'S not going to sign that for you." I took everyone's advice and contacted my surgeon's office. They gave me the number to a doctor in my area, and I have an appt. with him on Monday. When I made my appt. they didn't blink when I told them where I got their number, why I'm coming in, what I need. It was such a relief. I cancelled the appt. with my doctor and if I like this new one, I'll transfer all my care there.

I am exactly like you going in today at 191. (actually lost 8 with pre op diet ). Buy I am a lab band revision. Even if I wasn't this would have been something to do. Will be a tool to help with yo yo dieting. And boy did I get the " why you are not even that fat". And I am sure I wil get looks again in hospital You know the judging looks of why I couldn't do it on my own. Buy only you know how you feel and your confot Zone .The thing is some of us can do it on our own but we can't keep it off. That was the harder part for me. As far as goals I don't have one at this point I just am looking forward to a different experience with food as comparison to band and give it my all and see where it takes me. I am a very slow looser and am use to not eating much already so maybe I just dont want to set myself up for disappointment. Your are not alone. Here . There is also a thread I think titled low Bmi you might find it helpful. I know I did. Good luck