Valentina

not knowing your father, I will have to guess why he isn't telling you that he cancelled his trip in order to be at the hospital. I would guess that he wants the decision to have WLS TOTALLY yours. He doesn't want you to "lean" on him to bolster you up if you were to wobble about it. Tough love. He wants you to be strong and confident and you are showing that you are indeed. He's going to be there! Don't question it. Bathe in the sheer glorious support he is now willing to give.

my comfort food : Tonight I took a head of cauliflower, boiled it until slightly stiff, then drained it, placed it on a baking sheet, spread greek yogurt mixed with crushed garlic over the entire head, graded some parm. cheese to finish it, then into the oven@ 450 for 20min. Wow! it was delicious! When eating it, I sprinkled hot sauce--just a few drops on . Full of flavor.

OK, so here's the plan: On a dark and starless night, in a deserted pasture, your hubby jumps her from behind and binds her arms behind her. Next you and I hang her from a tree until she is ALMOST dead. We cut her down just before she takes her last breath. Now comes the good part---we cut her from gullet to groin, pour oil into her innards and set her on fire!!! The best part: We tie each of her limbs to a different horse and drive the horses forward. We leave your hubby to clean up while we go have a drink. Feel better? Of course that is all nonsense, but if it sounds ridiculous to you, then what she said is just as ridiculous. That woman must have some god awful demons within. Whenever someone hurts me as she did you, I say to them, "I'll pray for you". That's it. Nothing more. It gets the point across and really sinks in. Every situation needs a hero. Let it be YOU. Rise above the nonsense and you'll be surprised just how wonderful you will feel. You'll walk away with your head held high and a smile on your face. Try it. You'll like it! Valentina

Have you really asked him? What I mean by that is have you sat quietly with him--just the two of you, held his hands, looked him straight in the eyes and explain to him just how you want him to be with you the day of your surgery? Have you invited him ?-- As a father walks his daughter down the isle on her wedding day to begin a new chapter of her life, you need him to be with you now as you once again begin a new chapter. It just might make all the difference in the world if he really knew how much having him with you meant to you. Try it. I'll send a prayer "upstairs" for you. Valentina

Welcome to the "losers' bench"! That's where I like to think freshly post-op WLS folks need to sit, reflect and catch their breaths before taking the step into "the rest of their lives". All of the "nasty's" will pass. One quote that I heard and I think of whenever I am tempted: "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels". Feel better and keep in touch, please, Valentina

Hello, I know. I know. Telling someone not to be afraid is like telling a skunk not to stink! Are you afraid of the surgery itself and the recovery weeks, not having your father's support, or are you afraid that you're making the wrong decision by having the surgery in the first place? I believe you have to identify each fear and meet each one separately, head one and completely. ( How does one eat a bear?---one bite at a time!) Once you've made up your mind to have WLS because you know within every cell of you being that it's the right choice for you, the other fears will not be so difficult. So, as far as the far as the doubt and fear about having WLS--"LET IT GO". Fear of surgery is normal and completely understandable. No on like to put their very life into another's hands . Recovery pain and discomfort is to be expected, but totally tolerable. Just try to remember how many hundreds of people have walked down this procedure path before you. If they can do it, so can you. (I used that same line of thinking when I was in labor! ) You should have undeniable faith in your surgeon's skill . This is done by research and one on one conversations. Once you are at peace with your surgeon's ability to do your procedure than "LET IT GO". Personally, I believe that once your family sees the conviction you have to change your life to be healthier and happier and to be able to be with them longer in life, they will support you 200%. Right now, I think maybe they are feeling some of your fear and doubt. Soooo, with this last anticipated result --This fear?---"LET IT GO". Keep reading, getting support here and preparing for your new "tomorrows". Be well, and, please keep in touch,

Thank you for sharing your new life with us. I really mean that. Yes, there are and always be some negative people and experiences after weight loss surgery, but what makes that any different from pre weight loss? Some people are just negative and always will be. It's what makes them "them". Stay positive--even overly positive when around them. You have plenty to be positive about. Speaking of your hanging skin under your arms----- Consider them your well deserved "wings". SO-------------------on your wedding day----------------------- SPREAD YOUR WINGS AND FLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Valentina

Thank you all! I am beginning to feel the warmth and friendship that I felt when I was on this site back in 2011. There IS light at the end of the tunnel. It's been a long dark journey, but I can see the light peeking through.

Anytime you have unexpected pain, contact your surgeon's office. They are there to help you. We can give you novice advise based on experiences or retained reading material, but when it comes to PAIN, call your surgeon. This soon post-op is no time to hesitate. No question is too simple nor is any question foolish. Call them, please Good luck, feel better and keep us posted. Valentina

I had literally very little surgical pain after my surgery. The worst part of the whole surgery process is swallowing the "slime" one has to drink to assure no leakage. If you can drink that sewage you can do ANYTHING! Really, you can and will do fantastically well. Your mind is in the right place. Everything else will follow. I had a knee replacement three months before my sleeve surgery, so exercise was a concern. My surgeon wrote an order for "Aquatherapy". It was a blessing. Valentina

Hello, I had my surgery in June 2011. I have been in mourning and in therapy since my S.O. committed suicide the day I had my surgery. Long story, but here I am mentally ready to restart my weight loss journey--at 62yrs old. Am I too old to start all over? Is there anyone out there that would be willing to give my badly needed support? I live in RURAL upstate NY and am literally alone. I made an appointment to see a nutritionist this Tues.. I thought that would be a good place to start, since I have forgotten almost everything that I learned pre-op, and I have a SEVERE allergy to soy and a lesser allergy to all other legumes. I guess what I really am looking for is a friend or two. I need a friend right now. Valentina

Thank you ever so much one and all. I did try to explain to the replacement surgeon about the circumstances of why I wasn't "compliant" after my surgery. He stated that he was sorry for my loss, but we all have close ones that die and to blame myself was "ridiculous". I needed to stay compliant or expect exactly to end up where I find myself today. I almost lost it with frustration. I guess the years I've spent with my therapist must be working because I remained calm. The surgeon said I could come back in six months and speak with him again once I've "proven" myself to him. I hope to be in the care of a new bariatric surgeon by then. I am actually looking forward to seeing the nutritionist next Tues.. I have forgotten so much. I am determined to see this through --for myself. I've earned the right to finish my Quest. I've paid the price. Thank you again. Your words bring me hope.

Hello, my name is Valentina. I had my gastric sleeve surgery June 6, 2011. I was so excited to finally have it done and to begin my weight loss journey. June 7, 2011 my world collapsed , leaving me in a dark abyss. I guess I need to back up a wee bit. My life's partner and the love of my life was unfortunately diagnosed as clinically depressed. He had attempted suicide in 2008. I found him and called 911. He spent many days in the hospital, but came home much improved. Our life together was one of fairy tales for the next two and a half years. Just after I started my four month pre-surgery weight loss regime, John's depression worsened. He was not supportive of my surgery plans. I tried to explain to him how I had to get weight off of my joints as I have severe DJD, RA, and OA. In March of 2011 I had my left knee replaced. I thought then he would have seen the importance of my needing to have bariatric surgery. He did not. He refused to support me, accompany me to any of my testing appointment or even speak with me about my upcoming surgery. His psych physicians, PCP, and three therapists all advised me to go ahead with my surgery. They assured me that John would eventually see how much better our life together would be. I made arrangements with each of John's doctors to call John throughout the day of my surgery to make sure he was holding his own and not panicking. I made arrangements with my surgeon to allow me to come home the very next morning after my surgery so as not to leave John alone any longer than needed. So, the morning of June 6th, I drove myself to the hospital. The next morning after my surgery, I called John. There was no answer. I called and called and called. Finally, I got my surgeon to do my post-op testing early and went home. I found John dead in our bed. He had taken all of his vicodins that I had left in the care of his 22yr old daughter. (later she told me that she wanted to go out and her father assured her that he wasn't a child and could manage his own medication). From the moment I walked into the bedroom, my gastric sleeve was forgotten. I didn't acknowledge it, nor speak of it. To me, I never had the surgery. John was so opposed to it, that I blamed myself for his death. Maybe if I hadn't left him and had the surgery he would still be alive. I've spent the last almost 5 years hating food, sick when eating it, eating everything wrong, and in intensive therapy. Last December I had to have spinal fusion of L2,L3.L4,&L5. That's when I began to remember why I needed/wanted the weight loss surgery to begin with. I need to get weight off of my joints/bones. Finally, I am beginning to not blame myself. I am beginning to see a wee bit of sunshine in my daily life. I want--no, I need to pick up where I left off and restart my gastric sleeve journey. I spoke with the surgeon who took over after my bariatric surgeon left the practice. The replacement surgeon knew nothing of my history . All he could say was that I was "noncompliant" with my aftercare. I left his office in tears. He did order blood work (which he assured me would be WAY off. He said that I had to prove my commitment to "him" and he would see me in 6 months. After I regained my anger and composure I did make an appointment to see a nutritionist. I also asked my orthopedist (who is in the same building) for a RX for Aquatherapy. That is about the only way I can exercise since my spinal surgery. I am still unsteady to walk on the icey back roads of rural NY state. My questions are: Is there any hope for me? Can I restart and get back on track? Does ANYONE have any words of wisdom/advise for me?? HELP!, please Valentina

Not without me, you're not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have the hated waddle and not liking it!!!

I woke up from surgery with a backache and still have it. Walking intensifies it. My surgeon told me that the position of sugery aggrivates Fibromyalgia and Arthritis--both of which I have. I start PT next week, so I hope to "work it out". Let us know what YOU find out. Information is always good to have. Valentina

Above all: REMEMBER TO BREATH!!!! :whistle: Take a deep breath and breath. Sometimes we all just forget to do that. It's called a cleansing breath. Doing so sometimes will bring us back to focus and on track. We all at times are heading straight for a train wreck. You will get through this. You know that. In the beginning it's a challenge. I'm with you having my own surgery on 6/6. You're up to the challeng or you wouldn't have had the hutzpah to have the surgery in the first place.:boxing: Look toward your goal and follow the rainbow to get there. When you begin to have self doubts: STOP, :hand: AND REMEMBER TO BREATH!!!!.:whistle: Keep in touch, :ranger: so we can nag you some more,:boink: :director: Valentina :grouphug:

Call your surgeon. It is probably nothing, but why take the chance? You haven't come this far to be foolishly shy now. CALL!!! KEEP IN TOUCH, Valentina

I craved it, made it as "full liquidy" as I could possibly make it and took about an hour to drink it. It was wonderful! Now, however I will be able to wait another week until I am pureed foods. That is where my salad drink probably should be. You are right--it was a healthy drink! Thanks for your input. Valentina

I was sick of the Jello the first night! It just doesn't taste as good as it did pre-op. I don't know why there is such a difference when it comes to post-op diet stages.--and the differences are severe. There's one member here who reports having to be on full liquids for 5 wks. Yikes! All I can tell you is that my "summer salad" shake was full liquid--if only in my own mind. The flavors just exploded in my mouth!!! Of course I thnk I am addicted to fresh garden tomatoes, so I guess I needed a "fix". Now hopefully I can obstain until next weekend when I can go onto pureed. Then there won't be any question about my 'tomato shake". Keep in touch, and take care, Valentina :grouphug:

I wish you nothing but sunshine and rainbows in your relationship--honestly. I know how wonderful it is to have a reassuring hug and/or a passionate kiss. I lost all of that when my SO of 5 1/2 yrs called me in the hospital the morning after my surgery and told me that I was no longer had a home with him. I was not to return. He is clinically depressed and told me that my having elective surgery while he is ill is extremely selfish. He said that I did not love him if I was able to do such a thing. So, here I am recovering at a friend's house, but feeling completely alone in the world. My children are grown and live away. I am completely lost and without a purpose. So, you see? Your life could be worse... Valentina

I , too like spinach pies. However, the ones that I have had had a crust similar to a pita bread.. I would not consider eating them until I got to the "regular" food stage. They are in no way soft or mushie. Just my opinion, but I'd rather wait than get sick or do damage Valentina

Welcome, Joe! You are more than welcome here. Peek in here and there, gather tons of information and please never hesitate to ask a question (doesn't matter how silly you think it is). Above all, please do not hesitate to offer an opinion. Brainstorming is one of the corner stones of this site. I haven't been here long myself, but have found more support and great information than anywhere. Again, Welcome!, Valentina :grouphug:

I thought of that, but I did not want to ruin the clean, crisp taste of "the summer salad". I ate a greek yogurt about an hour later, so I hope the 18gr of Protein there will forgive me for my indulgence. Thank you for your input. Everyone's opinion is appreciated. Valentina :grouphug:

On my routine, instant individual packs of hot Cereal are NOT allowed. Check your list from your nutritionist. I bought the Protein shake that you are drinking and find it too fiscous. I only use one scoop at a time and will finish the container (too expensive not too), but will go back to "TopCare" from good of Price Chopper. It meets my requirements and I have fun "dressing it up" with xtracts and flavorings. Have you tried grits? Good luck, Valentina

I know that there was no Protein in it, but it was sooooooooooooooooo refreshing. If I was going to a bar-b-q today, I would take a tumbler of it with me. That's how "summery" it is. Thank you for the input, Valentina quote name='anonynurse' timestamp='1308493576' post='166389'] Yep, if you strained it, it is a full liquid. Sounds delicious too!