my surgery is coming up 02/23/16 im really scared but its something i really want to do. my dad and brother dont support me at all. they say im taking the easy way out that im lazy that i should just exercise. im 317 pounds 5'9. its so depressing. im the one with the white tshirt. i just want to be healthy and happy again.

Hey. I will be sleeved in Tokyo same day. You can connect with me on my youtube channel; chasing skinny vertical sleeve. Remember that you are doing this for you.

Where are you having surgery and who is your surgeon? Usually it is a simple surgery. I had it a week ago and started back at work yesterday with no problem!

I think for this you have to make the decision for you. I had decided I was done fighting my body with diet after diet. I wanted to be a healthy size and have energy to lead a full life. I figure once I am at a normal weight people will get used to it and the surgery won't be such a big deal anymore. Hope that makes sense:)

First off, you are beautiful! Second, don't be scared.

This surgery is very safe as far as surgeries go. It has a lower mortality rate than knee replacement. Would you hesitate to have a knee replacement if you needed one?

If it's life after surgery you are afraid of, there is some reason to be a bit scared. The first few days and weeks can ROUGH. But it is only temporary and you are making this choice to better the rest of your entire life. So a few weeks of suffering is a small price to pay. You will also have to adapt to your new relationship with food, which can be a real challenge. But if you stay committed and focused and follow the plan, you can be incredibly successful.

Finally, you can't let others get you down. There is such a strong societal stigma against WLS. It's so unfortunate. But once you have the surgery, your brother and father will see how hard you are working and how much success you are having. They will see first-hand that it is NOT "easy", but is merely a tool that allows you to be your best version of you.

Hey. I will be sleeved in Tokyo same day. You can connect with me on my youtube channel; chasing skinny vertical sleeve. Remember that you are doing this for you.

thank you i will love to connect!

Where are you having surgery and who is your surgeon? Usually it is a simple surgery. I had it a week ago and started back at work yesterday with no problem!

I think for this you have to make the decision for you. I had decided I was done fighting my body with diet after diet. I wanted to be a healthy size and have energy to lead a full life. I figure once I am at a normal weight people will get used to it and the surgery won't be such a big deal anymore. Hope that makes sense:)

im in san jose california. im having my surgery at good samaritan hospital with dr marc zare.

First off, you are beautiful! Second, don't be scared.

This surgery is very safe as far as surgeries go. It has a lower mortality rate than knee replacement. Would you hesitate to have a knee replacement if you needed one?

If it's life after surgery you are afraid of, there is some reason to be a bit scared. The first few days and weeks can ROUGH. But it is only temporary and you are making this choice to better the rest of your entire life. So a few weeks of suffering is a small price to pay. You will also have to adapt to your new relationship with food, which can be a real challenge. But if you stay committed and focused and follow the plan, you can be incredibly successful.

Finally, you can't let others get you down. There is such a strong societal stigma against WLS. It's so unfortunate. But once you have the surgery, your brother and father will see how hard you are working and how much success you are having. They will see first-hand that it is NOT "easy", but is merely a tool that allows you to be your best version of you.

thank u for your words. they mean alot to me. i hope my dad and brother realize that im just trying to do something for myself and to be happy so i can make my children happy as well. ❤️

Hello,

I know. I know. Telling someone not to be afraid is like telling a skunk not to stink!

Are you afraid of the surgery itself and the recovery weeks, not having your father's support, or are you afraid that you're making the wrong decision by having the surgery in the first place? I believe you have to identify each fear and meet each one separately, head one and completely. ( How does one eat a bear?---one bite at a time!)

Once you've made up your mind to have WLS because you know within every cell of you being that it's the right choice for you, the other fears will not be so difficult. So, as far as the far as the doubt and fear about having WLS--"LET IT GO".

Fear of surgery is normal and completely understandable. No on like to put their very life into another's hands . Recovery pain and discomfort is to be expected, but totally tolerable. Just try to remember how many hundreds of people have walked down this procedure path before you. If they can do it, so can you. (I used that same line of thinking when I was in labor! ) You should have undeniable faith in your surgeon's skill . This is done by research and one on one conversations. Once you are at peace with your surgeon's ability to do your procedure than "LET IT GO".

Personally, I believe that once your family sees the conviction you have to change your life to be healthier and happier and to be able to be with them longer in life, they will support you 200%. Right now, I think maybe they are feeling some of your fear and doubt. Soooo, with this last anticipated result --This fear?---"LET IT GO".

Keep reading, getting support here and preparing for your new "tomorrows".

Be well, and, please keep in touch,

You'll do great! It is normal to be scared since it is life-changing surgery, but don't let this freak you out. It is an exciting time and you'll be amazed once you're healed how well you feel and how much things change for the better.

Rant time:

It really pisses me off when some jerkface says this is taking the easy way...

It is not easy; it is still going to be very hard work after - and for the rest of your life. But instead of the constant yo-yo dieting or working really hard and seeing little results... you'll work hard and see real, measurable results. I know even in the early days, I expected to stop losing weight no matter what because that is what ALWAYS happened to me no matter what I did. I was beaten down and defeated so many times in the past that I had given up on myself and my health until I decided to try this one last thing. It was a lifesaver for me.

Something to tell your family since they're obviously ignorant about this part (and I was too until learning about it) some people overproduce the hormone ghrelin, which is manufactured in your stomach. It is the hunger hormone that causes many people to have issues with portion control, overeating and binge eating. Removing a large portion of the stomach reduces the amount of ghrelin that is produced... meaning you don't get crazy hungry any more, and you feel satisfied with smaller portions - you get a NORMAL hunger response in other words. How is it being "lazy" to correct a medically screwed up condition? How is it bad to take care of something that your body got wrong?

This surgery allows you time to relearn healthy eating habits, feel full eating small portions, and feel good enough to get out there and enjoy a real exercise routine. As long as you follow your doc's instructions and work hard at healthy eating/moving, you'll be a success and it should stick with you the rest of your life.

I'd lost weight plenty of times in the past, but I was miserable, tired and felt bad the entire time and had to work so hard and deprive myself of everything and still had that gnawing hunger constantly... which led to me regaining eventually as soon as I let my guard down. Most all of us have been there - working super hard and getting the weight off only to regain as soon as we grow a little weak.

I've lost more weight than ever, have learned to make tasty but healthy foods and now am ENJOYING exercise!! I never thought I'd be that person. I am so grateful and happy I did this, and I just know you will be too once you're healed and on your way.

If the people in your life can't say something nice and be supportive, then it's time to put some distance between you and them - tell them you're going to stop speaking about this stuff with them (and refuse to listen to them if they want to nag you or say awful things - warn them that you'll hang up the phone or leave the area if that start that crap and then follow through) and find support from places like here, your friends or local support groups. You need to concentrate on you and your health and well being, and haters and negative nellies have no place in your life going forward.

I'd tell your dad/brother that they are pretty rude, mean and hurtful and that you're going to just leave or stop seeing them if they can't be nice and supportive of you. Even if they are saying mean/unsupportive things to you because they are scared for you (and this is a possibility - they may be thinking this is too extreme and are afraid you're making a mistake just because they are ignorant and don't understand). But I still say if they loved you, they'd be your cheering section, take the time to read up or ask questions about this surgery instead of automatically saying it's wrong, and be there for you in improving your health instead of tearing you down or making you feel bad.

Good luck and I hope you don't let them get you down - you have an amazing opportunity right around the corner and it can and will change your life so much for the better if you go for it!!

Edited January 20, 201610 yr by FrankiesGirl

Hello,

I know. I know. Telling someone not to be afraid is like telling a skunk not to stink!

Are you afraid of the surgery itself and the recovery weeks, not having your father's support, or are you afraid that you're making the wrong decision by having the surgery in the first place? I believe you have to identify each fear and meet each one separately, head one and completely. ( How does one eat a bear?---one bite at a time!)

Once you've made up your mind to have WLS because you know within every cell of you being that it's the right choice for you, the other fears will not be so difficult. So, as far as the far as the doubt and fear about having WLS--"LET IT GO".

Fear of surgery is normal and completely understandable. No on like to put their very life into another's hands . Recovery pain and discomfort is to be expected, but totally tolerable. Just try to remember how many hundreds of people have walked down this procedure path before you. If they can do it, so can you. (I used that same line of thinking when I was in labor! ) You should have undeniable faith in your surgeon's skill . This is done by research and one on one conversations. Once you are at peace with your surgeon's ability to do your procedure than "LET IT GO".

Personally, I believe that once your family sees the conviction you have to change your life to be healthier and happier and to be able to be with them longer in life, they will support you 200%. Right now, I think maybe they are feeling some of your fear and doubt. Soooo, with this last anticipated result --This fear?---"LET IT GO".

Keep reading, getting support here and preparing for your new "tomorrows".

Be well, and, please keep in touch,

im scared of the surgery but i read all these wonderful stories and it motivates me. i just wished i had my dad support. i am a daddys girl lol! i wish he can be there the day of the surgery im getting so emotional about it.

You'll do great! It is normal to be scared since it is life-changing surgery, but don't let this freak you out. It is an exciting time and you'll be amazed once you're healed how well you feel and how much things change for the better.

Rant time:

It really pisses me off when some jerkface says this is taking the easy way...

It is not easy; it is still going to be very hard work after - and for the rest of your life. But instead of the constant yo-yo dieting or working really hard and seeing little results... you'll work hard and see real, measurable results. I know even in the early days, I expected to stop losing weight no matter what because that is what ALWAYS happened to me no matter what I did. I was beaten down and defeated so many times in the past that I had given up on myself and my health until I decided to try this one last thing. It was a lifesaver for me.

Something to tell your family since they're obviously ignorant about this part (and I was too until learning about it) some people overproduce the hormone ghrelin, which is manufactured in your stomach. It is the hunger hormone that causes many people to have issues with portion control, overeating and binge eating. Removing a large portion of the stomach reduces the amount of ghrelin that is produced... meaning you don't get crazy hungry any more, and you feel satisfied with smaller portions - you get a NORMAL hunger response in other words. How is it being "lazy" to correct a medically screwed up condition? How is it bad to take care of something that your body got wrong?

This surgery allows you time to relearn healthy eating habits, feel full eating small portions, and feel good enough to get out there and enjoy a real exercise routine. As long as you follow your doc's instructions and work hard at healthy eating/moving, you'll be a success and it should stick with you the rest of your life.

I'd lost weight plenty of times in the past, but I was miserable, tired and felt bad the entire time and had to work so hard and deprive myself of everything and still had that gnawing hunger constantly... which led to me regaining eventually as soon as I let my guard down. Most all of us have been there - working super hard and getting the weight off only to regain as soon as we grow a little weak.

I've lost more weight than ever, have learned to make tasty but healthy foods and now am ENJOYING exercise!! I never thought I'd be that person. I am so grateful and happy I did this, and I just know you will be too once you're healed and on your way.

If the people in your life can't say something nice and be supportive, then it's time to put some distance between you and them - tell them you're going to stop speaking about this stuff with them (and refuse to listen to them if they want to nag you or say awful things - warn them that you'll hang up the phone or leave the area if that start that crap and then follow through) and find support from places like here, your friends or local support groups. You need to concentrate on you and your health and well being, and haters and negative nellies have no place in your life going forward.

I'd tell your dad/brother that they are pretty rude, mean and hurtful and that you're going to just leave or stop seeing them if they can't be nice and supportive of you. Even if they are saying mean/unsupportive things to you because they are scared for you (and this is a possibility - they may be thinking this is too extreme and are afraid you're making a mistake just because they are ignorant and don't understand). But I still say if they loved you, they'd be your cheering section, take the time to read up or ask questions about this surgery instead of automatically saying it's wrong, and be there for you in improving your health instead of tearing you down or making you feel bad.

Good luck and I hope you don't let them get you down - you have an amazing opportunity right around the corner and it can and will change your life so much for the better if you go for it!!

we always have arguments regarding the surgery my dad feels very offended when i tell him that i have made up my mind and no body will change it. i dont know why he feels that way. as for my brother he hurts me so much with his comments he knows i have tried many diets for years and i have failed every time. it hurts me that he calls me all these fat names and i have to hide my sadness i know it would not be easy but ill make it. for my children. it broke my heart that we went to disneyland and i couldnt fit in the rides i wanted to cry so bad but i didnt want my children to feel bad so i forced myself into the rides even though it was extremely unconfortable and painful but we mothers do what ever it takes for our children. thank u i know i can do this for me, for my children!

Have you really asked him? What I mean by that is have you sat quietly with him--just the two of you, held his hands, looked him straight in the eyes and explain to him just how you want him to be with you the day of your surgery? Have you invited him ?-- As a father walks his daughter down the isle on her wedding day to begin a new chapter of her life, you need him to be with you now as you once again begin a new chapter. It just might make all the difference in the world if he really knew how much having him with you meant to you.

Try it. I'll send a prayer "upstairs" for you.

Valentina

Hello,

I know. I know. Telling someone not to be afraid is like telling a skunk not to stink!

Are you afraid of the surgery itself and the recovery weeks, not having your father's support, or are you afraid that you're making the wrong decision by having the surgery in the first place? I believe you have to identify each fear and meet each one separately, head one and completely. ( How does one eat a bear?---one bite at a time!)

Once you've made up your mind to have WLS because you know within every cell of you being that it's the right choice for you, the other fears will not be so difficult. So, as far as the far as the doubt and fear about having WLS--"LET IT GO".

Fear of surgery is normal and completely understandable. No on like to put their very life into another's hands . Recovery pain and discomfort is to be expected, but totally tolerable. Just try to remember how many hundreds of people have walked down this procedure path before you. If they can do it, so can you. (I used that same line of thinking when I was in labor! ) You should have undeniable faith in your surgeon's skill . This is done by research and one on one conversations. Once you are at peace with your surgeon's ability to do your procedure than "LET IT GO".

Personally, I believe that once your family sees the conviction you have to change your life to be healthier and happier and to be able to be with them longer in life, they will support you 200%. Right now, I think maybe they are feeling some of your fear and doubt. Soooo, with this last anticipated result --This fear?---"LET IT GO".

Keep reading, getting support here and preparing for your new "tomorrows".

Be well, and, please keep in touch,

im scared of the surgery but i read all these wonderful stories and it motivates me. i just wished i had my dad support. i am a daddys girl lol! i wish he can be there the day of the surgery im getting so emotional about it.

Is he not planning to be there? Have you asked him?

I am 51 years old and still a Daddy's girl. He was all for the surgery because he has always been the biggest critic about my weight, the one who understands the least (due to his own personal experience), and the one whose opinion can hurt the most for me.

I asked my mom to go with me and she stayed the whole time. What really surprised me was that my dad left work and came to stay the whole time I was in surgery. I hadn't asked him to come and really didn't expect it, but it meant a lot.

That is a long way of saying if it is important to you, then please let your dad know. Sometimes we make assumptions without actually being honest about what we need.

Have you really asked him? What I mean by that is have you sat quietly with him--just the two of you, held his hands, looked him straight in the eyes and explain to him just how you want him to be with you the day of your surgery? Have you invited him ?-- As a father walks his daughter down the isle on her wedding day to begin a new chapter of her life, you need him to be with you now as you once again begin a new chapter. It just might make all the difference in the world if he really knew how much having him with you meant to you.

Try it. I'll send a prayer "upstairs" for you.

Valentina

thank you very much ❤️ i asked him if he was going to be there and he said he was going to Mexico for a couple of weeks. but i was having a conversation with my sister and she mentioned that he cancel the trip to be there on my surgery day. but i dont understand why he wont tell me. i really need him there, i just need his blessing thats all ????

Hello,

I know. I know. Telling someone not to be afraid is like telling a skunk not to stink!

Are you afraid of the surgery itself and the recovery weeks, not having your father's support, or are you afraid that you're making the wrong decision by having the surgery in the first place? I believe you have to identify each fear and meet each one separately, head one and completely. ( How does one eat a bear?---one bite at a time!)

Once you've made up your mind to have WLS because you know within every cell of you being that it's the right choice for you, the other fears will not be so difficult. So, as far as the far as the doubt and fear about having WLS--"LET IT GO".

Fear of surgery is normal and completely understandable. No on like to put their very life into another's hands . Recovery pain and discomfort is to be expected, but totally tolerable. Just try to remember how many hundreds of people have walked down this procedure path before you. If they can do it, so can you. (I used that same line of thinking when I was in labor! ) You should have undeniable faith in your surgeon's skill . This is done by research and one on one conversations. Once you are at peace with your surgeon's ability to do your procedure than "LET IT GO".

Personally, I believe that once your family sees the conviction you have to change your life to be healthier and happier and to be able to be with them longer in life, they will support you 200%. Right now, I think maybe they are feeling some of your fear and doubt. Soooo, with this last anticipated result --This fear?---"LET IT GO".

Keep reading, getting support here and preparing for your new "tomorrows".

Be well, and, please keep in touch,

im scared of the surgery but i read all these wonderful stories and it motivates me. i just wished i had my dad support. i am a daddys girl lol! i wish he can be there the day of the surgery im getting so emotional about it.

Is he not planning to be there? Have you asked him?

I am 51 years old and still a Daddy's girl. He was all for the surgery because he has always been the biggest critic about my weight, the one who understands the least (due to his own personal experience), and the one whose opinion can hurt the most for me.

I asked my mom to go with me and she stayed the whole time. What really surprised me was that my dad left work and came to stay the whole time I was in surgery. I hadn't asked him to come and really didn't expect it, but it meant a lot.

That is a long way of saying if it is important to you, then please let your dad know. Sometimes we make assumptions without actually being honest about what we need.

im 32 and i will always be a daddys girl lol. i talked to my mom and she said that my dad is just very worried that something will happen to me. thats why he refuses to even talk about the surgery. it would make me very happy to see my dad there.

thank you for all your replys you guys! im feeling more confident and i know im making the right decision ????