Globetrotter

Thank you so much TheaMarie and California Chick, your posts made me feel listened to Thea - here is what I ate yesterday - Breakfast - tukey sausage, pineapple lunch - curry chicken salad, serving of girl scout thin mints dinner 1- steak, salad dinner 2 post-gym - beef Jerky, half a Quest bar total cals - 830 total carbs 39 total Protein - 75 Trying to eat responsibly out here while maintaining a higher calorie level takes serious work, I could hit that calorie level but then I would run through my Protein powder and it is a precious commodity. At the gym yesterday I did 15 minutes on the elliptical at optimum heart rate and then 30 minutes optimum effort on the treadmill, after which I was drenched and wobbly. Then I did some deep yoga stretching for about 25 minutes. Today will be upper body weights and yoga. The conditions out here are not optimal for perfectionist monitoring so I just have to make do. I know that yesterday's calorie count was "low" but it has been between 1140 and 1180 since the day this thread started, and I've focused on weight training, and as of this morning I am up four pounds

Very well said and expresses pertinent emotions that so many of us deal with. I notice what other people eat, for sure, especially the size of their portions. I think what is the biggest obsession for me is noting the sometimes humongous portions of thin people, I look at it and think, "but that's not fair! You are eating fried fish and chips the size of your head and I know you don't work out, it's not fair that you aren't fat!" One of the strangest phenomena for me now though is the reaction I get from very heavy people while we are all eating together. I sometimes feel this ... not resentment exactly, not hatred, but a kind of sullen something, like they think I am showing off my tiny portion or worse, that I am somehow trying to make them look bad on purpose. It's awkward. I also notice now just how much attention my very heavy friends give to their food and realize I was once just the same. I also notice all of the extras they add on, sweetened drinks with the meal, appetizers, sides, dessert ... I genuinely don't mean to be an ass and I think I hide it well but I watch all of this food, pounds and pounds of it, get eaten and it just makes me queasy - partly from the amount and partly because I know I was just the same. And inside, I feel like I am the same still...

I am currently deployed, maybe I can see a Dr on R&R, I keep hoping for somebody to tell me of a method I haven't thought of ...

I want to know if they can do for breasts what they are doing for rear ends, harvesting the fat that has been lipo'd from the rest of the body for injection.

One of the joys for me in achieving fitness (ie firming the flesh) and achieving an average size (10/12) was buying pretty panties and bras AND not breaking the bank to do so. Genetics gave me a huge rack, obesity made it even more astronomical and although beautiful lingerie does exist in plus sizes (I was a 44H/ 24panty at my largest), you will pay megabux for them. But just being able to go to Target and riffle amongst the pretty cottons and laces in the 3 for $10 bin is so much fun! And getting to wear different cuts, low rise boy cut, lacy thongs, flutter tap pants ... and being able to actually wear a pretty bra that didn't cost over $100, AND being able to just get my size off the rack, is awesome! If you look at my underwear drawer you could track my progress: my sad beginnings, my triumphant self confidence, my depression and decline, and my rally - enormous granny panties in depressing eggshell and tan, tye-dye low rise cheekies, granny panties again, and briefs but at least in upbeat colors and patterns. I have kept all of my pretties from my height of fitness last year with the goal of getting into my own pants again, ha!!

http://www.positivehealth.com/article/bodywork/meet-the-endocannibanoids-pleasure-producers-pain-relievers-and-much-more-the-bodywork-connection Fascinating!

So what are the recommendations for consuming a product like this for maximum efficacy? Once a day? On an empty stomach? Before a workout? After? Not with dairy?

This is what ends up so frustrating with a thread like this, it ends up depressing me and I think whybother posting at all? Because it always ends up being people using at as a forum to tell me about their perfect eating habits and how they are eating non stop and losing all their weight and la-ti-da. And then I get the people who are just like, "it's all mathematics! eat responsibly and exercise and you will lose the weight!" Really? Is that all I need to do? Why didn't I think of that before. Come on guys, did you not read where I said that I have tried it all? I'm not new here, I've had almost 3 years of practice and I have been the most faithful, goody two shoes patient and I am still obese. The only comment that came close to something there was the person who said slow thyroid. I mean, after trying every trick in the book, I'm starting to wonder if there really might be a chemical problem in my body.

Um, what injections? Nobody said anything about injections ...

DEFINITELY go to thrift shops, don't spend your money at retail while you are in the losing phase. Also, once you are in the teens of sizes they seem to go excruciatingly slow with a LOT of weight in between. For example, at 200 lbs I was in a size 16 jeans very tight, 165 pounds I was in a size 12 comfortably. That's 35 pounds and I only went down 2 sizes! WTF! As I understand it though, once you hit the single digits it goes really fast, like there's just a few pounds difference between an 8 and a 6. I have this one pair of JCrew cords -size 12R- that I poured myself into at 185 lbs, they were so painfully tight they left bruises and made me nauseous but dangit they zipped and buttoned! I was still wearing these same pants at 165 lbs and they were still snug! I figured I would actually be able to wear these damn pants for 40 lbs, from 185 to 145, before they could be declared too loose! GAH!!!

and this is the first day I have eaten over 740 calories btw.

@ Pantala, yeah, that's why I'm freaking out, I always try to keep my carbs below 35! I'm not just a slow loser, I'm almost a non-loser, no matter what I do and over the last nearly 3 years, I've tried it all!! People advocate high calories, low calories, moderate carbs, extreme low carb, focusing on weight training, focusing on cardio, drinking gallons of water, getting plenty of sleep and blah blah BLAH! I have done it all. It took me 6 months to lose 15 pounds, and that was before I had my backslide of the last year.

Well I'm not losing, that's the thing - for 22 days I have worked out vigorously 6 days a week and kept my calories below 750 and I haven't lost and I gain when I eat "normal" caloric levels.

I will put in an hour + at the gym tonight, cardio, lower body weights, yoga, and somehow maybe I wasn't paying attention, but I will be eating 1140 calories today, with 70 grams carbs!!!! AAAAAAAGH!! What have I done!!!!!!!!

Thanks! So, I worked my upper body hard last night, doing slow perfect form reps of the most weight I could possibly push. Should I not do upper body again until ... tomorrow?

Yeah I basically just look terrible, no clothing can camouflage my deflated balloon body. Trousers, no matter how thick or stiff show my empty pudding bag thighs and fatty mons and fat sacs on the lower outer hip. My upper arms are doughy and floppy no matter how loose and graceful the sleeve, the bra rolls ooze out prominently no matter how well fitted the bra. I just look like $h!t, I look like some middle aged sterotype of a soccer mom, like I haven't worked hard at all. It's depressing.

Can they do this for breasts? harvest the fat and inject it there?

I didn't tell anyone except for close family and like 2 friends. If someone asked me point blank if I had surgery I wouldn't lie, but I don't offer it up and people who haven't seen me since my heaviest and are flabbergasted, they must just assume I dieted. I do like to have a little twisted fun with some types of people though, like those women who are total head cases and live to manipulate - I eat something in front of them and after 3 bites I'm like, ooh I'm stuffed I couldn't eat another bite! And they glare at me, because they are used to pulling that line for the attention. When they say it they are lying of course and I am telling the truth and it just makes me laugh.

So I do cardio every day, 6 or 7 days a week, and do weights every two days. When I do weights though, I am doing whole body - upper, lower, core, and doing my cardio and my yoga. I am wanting to build muscle so that I will be able to burn my fat better/faster. Is this right?

Yeah it is so frustrating as we head into summer, to have worked so hard in order to not be trapped in the heavy thick punishment clothes that were our only option Before, now we fit into lovely thin cotton sundresses and summers aren't as excruciating because our smaller fitter bodies regulate the heat better, but we are still punished because we end up encases in this non-breathable shapewear and are still wearing little light sweaters in summer, to cover our marshmallow arms, grrr!!

Well, according to that model you made a screenshot of for me, 750 cals at moderate exercise would see me reaching my goal in 120 days.

Today I had first dinner - 3 oz lamb, some steamed broccoli, 2 tsp mashed potato, 45 min before the gym. Then I will have second dinner, a protein shake, after the gym. Tomorrow I am going to do cardio in the morning before I eat/drink anything and then have scrambled eggs afterward.

Body Fortress is labelled as "pure whey isolate"

Hey me too with the morphine! Actually I'm "morphine resistant", which nobody figured out till I was coming out of anaesthesia and no one could understand why I was in so much pain and agony until a clever nurse went hey, she might be resistant to morphine! Which means that even though I could have floated away on the tide of morphine, I was feeling every inch of post-op pain, no bueno!! But once they got the dilaudid on board I was A-OKAY, lololol! . Between the drugs and post-op weakness etc. I lost about 4 days after surgery, to this day (nearly 3 years later) I have to have my Mom tell me what happened during those days, Ihave no real memory of them. Baby yourself, do nothing but sleep if possible, don't even flip pages, listen to audio books! I sipped some RTD (ready to drink) shakes about 3-4 days after surgery as my first "food" and it took me an entire afternoon to gently sip a small Muscle Milk. Take your vitamins! sip sip sip! Take your pain meds, don't be a hero! Sleep! Walk gently! Good luck! Oh and btw, as the anaesthesia leaves your system you will get all itchy, especially your scalp with get all flaky and itchy, it's normal.

Wellthen *frustrated stomp* what protein shots out there ARE good? I can't rely on real food in my current environment (deployed - MREs) and am relying on protein powders/bars/shots sent via care packages.