Sassie

So last night I tried melatonin for the first time and as I was drifting off to sleep I started to panic about me choice for surgery. I started thinking,"what am I thinking having surgery because I am FAT?? WHat if something goes wrong. I have FIVE KIDS. " I am not so worried this morning, but still feeling uneasy. I am not sure if this is normal. I am not sure if these feelings are coming up because I am not really eating. (Drinking shakes does NOT = food) Am I having to deal with these feelings because I can not EAT or FEED them. I am scared of surgery. The only one I have EVER had was an emergency c-section and there was no thinking about that. I feel Like doing this is SELFISH. I mean, I know in the long run, I will be healthier and better for my kids. I will hopefully be around longer when I am no longer FAT. I am scared of being in the percentage that FAILS to loose weight. I am spending ALOT of money to do this since insurance doens't cover it. But even as I sit in bed typing this and I look ove in the mirror I think how can I NOT do this. I am disgusted with what I see. Thanks for listening as I barf my feelings and thoughts out on the computer.:blushing:

Goodlife, thanks so much for the suggestion and information. I am goingto see if I can find that kids to try. After 24 hours or so of mine I am ready to try something else. I need to try and find the unflavored one to add to things after.

YEA!!! glad they worked with you. I know EXACTLY how you are feeling. I have my Pre-op next wed. I think it is good I don't have a far off date, you know, less time to think about surgery. Sooner to be SLEEVED:biggrin0:.

Thanks for all the support, I knew I would get what I needed here. I think the thing that is SOOO hard is that I did get any LAST meals, you know. I when to my apointment fasting for some tests, they said they had a date 2 weeks out and that I would have to do 2 weeks pre-op diet since I am having a single port. I know this is just the beginning of dealing with food differently. I just wasn't quite ready yet.:sad0:

MAY 4th, that is if hubby doesn't freak out that it only two weeks away. Good news it is ONLY two weeks away, bad news I have to start my 2 week pre-op diet. I have a raging headache and I can not think of anything but food. More good news doctor said I can have the single port surgery. Yeah, less insicions. I have a feeling you will be seeing a lot of me around here, dealing with excitment and a little bit of panic. thanks guys

I know my hubby is hot and cold. But he is a GUY. I know that for me I want to talk about my decision. He doesn't want to talk. I have my sister in law for that. He has mentioned that he is scared. Seems he has been doing some research on his on while he is at work. He is looking for the NEGATIVE things about the sleeve. Good news he is having a hard time. Most say it is a good TOOL and the best choice of all the WLS out there. I am just sitting back and making it MY choice and letting him come to me when he is ready to talk. We will see what happens when I actually have a DATE. I have my CONSULT at 7:30 am tomarrow, YIPEE:biggrin0:. Just stay stong in YOUR decision and I think in time the guys will come around, because really what makes you happy makes him happy.

I haven't had the surgery yet but, thank you for your honesty. I love that I can see the positive and the negative or struggles here. So I know what to watch for and try to head off at the pass. That or at least worn my husband what is coming. Keep sharing here it is great for newbie and to be able veterans share the wealth of thier knowledge.:biggrin0:

My consult is wednesday and I feel the SAME way. I am really hoping that my doctor feels my liver and says I only haev to do it for a day or two before the surgery. Well a girl can DREAM can't she.:crying: I don't think the post op part will be to bad. AS others have shared you really don't want anything at that point. I am just hoping I can do what needs to be done while trying to care for my family. It wil be a moment to moment stuggle for me at least. Know that you arent the only one.

I agree, I think he is just proud of you. I know it is hard but think about how it would be without his support. Just gently remind him that you DON'T want every one to know what is going on. and maybe give him some SAFE things to say when people ask about you. Good luck

Thank you both SO much for your responses. It helps me feel more settled about waiting to tell people. I can so relate to the " I have tried everything and if this fails ..." . I think there are so many of us who have failed repeatedly and even though there are tons of sucessed here I think I am going to be that ONE. I have a Mom who is very unsupportive in a supportive way. You know the type who sounds like she wants you to succeed but is really glad when you don't and can tell you so. I think I am going to be sticking around here where I get REAL support. THANKS A TON!!

SO I am wondering if you guys are telling people or not telling people about your choice for WLS. I am sitting on the fence about telling or not. As of now only my hubby and sister in law know. I am pretty sure the rest of hubby's family will find out in the long run but MY family lives in another state and as long as I have no complication in surgery I think I could keep it from them. Other than I have 5 kids and you know how they are. SO I may have to tell them but I really think I will do it after the fact that way I don't have to hear their reasons for why I should not do this. So share with me, what are you doing and why???:biggrin2:

I am in Utah, and it seems like the office I am looking at gives alot for cash patients. You are not only paying for the surgery but also a years access to counselor and NUT. I willhave more understanding of exactly what I am getting after wednesday. I don't expect this to be the EASY way, but for me none of the OTHER ways have worked I feel like for me this is my best shot at success. I am nervous, excites and even a little scared but I think that most of us here would all say thie same at this point in the process.:thumbup:

I am so glad someone started this thread, It was a thought I had yesterday but was really to embarassed to ask. My hubby comments on my lack of drive all the time. I am sure it has to do with my lack self comfort with my body. ONce I have the surgery and join the looserd bench I hope my DRIVE returns. thanks again

Thank you all for answering me. I am so glad I have found this site. It has answered so many questions and feel like a safe place for good information.

SO, I am a newbie, I have my first consultation on Wednesday. I am wondering how long after that first consultation, your surgery was scheduled?? I have been thinking about doing this for almost a year and now that I made the decision I want to get it DONE. thanks SASSIE