So last night I tried melatonin for the first time and as I was drifting off to sleep I started to panic about me choice for surgery. I started thinking,"what am I thinking having surgery because I am FAT?? WHat if something goes wrong. I have FIVE KIDS. "

I am not so worried this morning, but still feeling uneasy. I am not sure if this is normal. I am not sure if these feelings are coming up because I am not really eating. (Drinking shakes does NOT = food) Am I having to deal with these feelings because I can not EAT or FEED them.

I am scared of surgery. The only one I have EVER had was an emergency c-section and there was no thinking about that. I feel Like doing this is SELFISH. I mean, I know in the long run, I will be healthier and better for my kids. I will hopefully be around longer when I am no longer FAT. I am scared of being in the percentage that FAILS to loose weight. I am spending ALOT of money to do this since insurance doens't cover it.

But even as I sit in bed typing this and I look ove in the mirror I think how can I NOT do this. I am disgusted with what I see.

Thanks for listening as I barf my feelings and thoughts out on the computer.:blushing:

My only experience with melatonin was not positive. I had horrible, lucid, violent dreams.

It could be a mixture of both, your emotions from not eating real food and the melatonin. I don't think having this surgery is selfish at all. You're going to succeed. Snap those negative thoughts right out of your mind because all it does is breed more negativity and self-doubt.

I believe in your ability to succeed, and you're gonna have to do the same ! ! !

If you need to vent, cry, or scream, feel free to message me, I'll listen openly.

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

I knew I would get the boost and the KICK in the pants I needed. Tried talking to Hubby and he was " you know, you don't have to rush to do this", I knew he was thinking I was going to fast in the process. I dont want to give myself more time to create doubts. I just want to start LOOSING. I want to succeed. When you have failed OVER AND OVER it is scary to thing about doing some thing the permanent and physically changing with no gaurentees. (excuse bad spelling)

I hate to say it again but I am really glad I found an outside support.

I have had SEVERE insomnia since I decided to get the surgery...not really because of fear, but just anxiousness and nervousness. I have tried Melatonin as a stand alone sleep aid...didn't like it. I also tried an all natural sleep aid that is sold on Home Shopping Network, HSN.com. I like those! But you have to order and wait for delivery. They contain Melatonin as well, but I didn't have the weird side effects with these. They also have Chamomile and Valerian Root (Which you can buy on it's on in a walmart or drugstore in the Vitamin section) in them. You can take between 1 and 3 pills depending on your needs. I take one and it's a very natural way to go to sleep. Two is more intense with a great feeling of sleepiness.

I have found if I don't take something now that I know I'm having WLS, I will stay up all night reading blogs on computer and just having racing thoughts.

I should take my own advice, but I think this might help: warm bath, no tv on while in bed, dark room, hot chamomile tea or non caffienated tea before bed, NO CAFFEINE, read until your sleepy. Or write in journal.

Eating healthier will pass good habits on to your kids. You'll be more active with them as well. Media has kind of stuck in our heads that surgery is a cop out, but it's not! If someone had High Blood Pressure, first doc tells them to try and modify their diet and exercise. If that doesn't work, then they are put on medicine. Nobody looks at them like they are "coping" out. Sometimes surgery is just necessary to reach a better goal and maintain it. Surgery will put you on a LEVEL playing field with everyone else and make your goals more achievable without constantly feeling deprivation.

Your thoughts seem very normal to me. We have to consider the risks and the benefits when deciding to have ANY procedure. It sounds like you know both and know that you need this to increase the quality of your life and that of your families. Your heart just needs to catch up a bit. So .... take a deep breath, reaffirm all the reasons you are doing this & push on to the new day.

Come out here whenever you need a pep talk. This group is great!

Well, FWIK about melatonin, it's sometimes used to treat anxiety, not supposed to cause it.

I suspect that your anxiety about the surgery is just good old fashioned, normal human fear.

Everyone receives solace differently. For me, I did a LOT of research about the lap sleeve surgery, to the point where both the surgeon and nutritionist commented on my level of knowledge. I even emailed my surgeon a link to the five year studies that just came out. The point is that by educating myself about all of the alternatives, and by looking at the real success rates of people trying to drop weight and keep it off the "old fashioned way" (which are not good), I came to the following conclusions:

1. Obesity is a killer. It will shorten your lifespan as much as a pack a day smoking habit will. Not only that, but it will make your quality of life -- which is, in some ways, more important than your quantity of life -- horrible.

2. Almost nobody is successful at losing weight through diet and exercise and keeping it off long term. Everyone knows someone who is able to drop a tremendous amount of weight -- if that weren't the case, then shows like The Biggest Loser wouldn't exist. But KEEPING the weight off that way is very, very rare -- like 1 in 20 people are successful at it.

3. The lap sleeve SEEMS to have the most successful, healthy, and (importantly) DURABLE weight loss results around. There might be a better option in ten years, but in ten years who knows how much damage obesity will do to your body?

4. The lap sleeve, despite the fact that it is invasive, seems to have relatively mild and minor complications rates; the death rate from lap sleeve (about 0.1%, or one in one thousand) is far lower than the long-term mortality rate from obesity (which is, IIRC, about 50% per decade... so 1 in 2 chance of dying from obesity vs. 1 in 1000 chance of dying from lap sleeve).

Your husband is right in one respect; you probably shouldn't rush the surgery. If you still really aren't sure, I personally don't think it's a good idea to rush into it. Don't delay it just because you're anxious about the surgery -- the surgery is a big deal, and you WILL be anxious, regardless. But that's different from real doubts and misgivings; THOSE you really should process before rushing into it. For me, I pushed my surgery date out almost a month from what it could have been, to give me time to make sure I was making the right choice.

So, while I'm not as good at emotional support as Tiffykins is, I like to think that I come armed with all the facts and figures that show why, for me, at least, the lap sleeve is the only rational choice to make.

I know I'll be anxious as my surgery date draws near; that's normal, and they have wonderful drugs for that! But from the perspective of "is this the right choice?" I've made my peace -- it is, absolutely, the right thing to do, for me.

I hope there's some help for you in there somewhere!

Hey Sassie,

A fellow Utah girl!!!! Guess what? The first few weeks before and after the surgery will feel very selfish. You will try to think of other things, but this really does get pretty all consuming. But then at the two week or four week mark (different for all of us) something switches.

I feel energetic, finally! And for years those compulsive food thoughts that got in my way physically, emotionally, and spiritually are fading. I think I will dodge the diabetes bullet, I will be able to teach my kids how to have healthy relationships with food.

Two years ago this month my boyfriends Mom died a horrible diabetes related death at age sixty. They miss her terribly, and her years of illness, suffering, and early death were all avoidable.

This will be rough, but lady you are the mother of 5, you will be able to do it! You have all of us here and it sounds like a sweet hubby who are supporting you and want you to be able to fully become the person you were meant to be.

Good luck!!!!

Anna

Hey Sassie,

A fellow Utah girl!!!! Guess what? The first few weeks before and after the surgery will feel very selfish. You will try to think of other things, but this really does get pretty all consuming. But then at the two week or four week mark (different for all of us) something switches.

I feel energetic, finally! And for years those compulsive food thoughts that got in my way physically, emotionally, and spiritually are fading. I think I will dodge the diabetes bullet, I will be able to teach my kids how to have healthy relationships with food.

Two years ago this month my boyfriends Mom died a horrible diabetes related death at age sixty. They miss her terribly, and her years of illness, suffering, and early death were all avoidable.

This will be rough, but lady you are the mother of 5, you will be able to do it! You have all of us here and it sounds like a sweet hubby who are supporting you and want you to be able to fully become the person you were meant to be.

Good luck!!!!

Anna

YIPPEE!! another Utah girl. I am glad to have some info and support that what I am feeling is normal. I think up til now I had been happy and sprinkles about the whole thing. I am stuggling with the pre-op diet. I know my surgeron says it is to get the fat off of my liver, but I am not really sure about liquids only for two weeks. It is very hard to cook for family and yet happily sip a YUMMY (not) Protein shake. At least after the surgery i will have the sleeve to help.

:001_tongue:

I really hate melatonin, makes me dream really weird, and everything doesn't make sense, like purple grass, orange sky, steps that float upside down, and rabbits with horse tails. . . then when i wake up i am so exhausted like i never slept a wink. . . it's not a good med, nyquil and benedryl are sooooo much better for me. . . there was a lady on this forum named breekahouse, she was totally panicked about the surgery too . . you should find her and talk to her about it. . . she would be able to help you with your worries, she had her surgery and came out of it just fine. . .

:biggrin0:Thanks for the suggestion I will see if I can track her down and ask her about things

Sassie who is your surgeon in UT? I am doing my post op w/Dr. Cottam's office.

Edited April 23, 201016 yr by wannalise

Yep, having surgery in Salt lake. I am seeing his parner Dr. Richard's. Buy from my understanding they are BOTH in the operating room. So I get 2 for 1. But for what I am paying...:thumbup:. I will be able to have a single port operation, Dr. Cotham helped to pioneer doing it that way. I feel some comfort having a "local girl" who has done this. I still feel a little bit of a roller coaster of emotions about doing this. How I wish I was on the other side and DONE. The slight fear and anxiety is beinging to make me a little crazy.

You will for a while. I don't know what more reassuring thing to say. You could not be doing it through a better office though. Their stats are amazing and their post op program will really be the thing that makes it or breaks it. I am in Logan and they will be starting support groups here next week and I am so excited. I love that the sleeve is a tool, but I will need lots more tools in my kit to make this a life long change!