deletedsally

There are so many things that we still don't understand about the complex relationships between neurotransmitters, hormones, metabolism, insulin resistance, exercise, genetics, appetite, food intake, and weight related problems. I've been on one diet after another most of my adult life in an effort to control my weight, and spent a large part of my life feeling hungry. You wouldn't think I'd gone hungry a day in my life to look at me. After regaining weight I had lost numerous times, I began to pathologize myself. I went to overeater's anonymous. I had sponsors. I had food plans. I drove over an hour (one way) to go to meetings several times a week. I went to counseling. I went to graduate school and became a counselor...but none of that could turn off the physical hunger. Until I began reading the research on grehlin several years ago, my experience made no sense to me. For example, when I started a long-term eating plan at 240 pounds using a food addiction food plan and successfully lost 100 pounds, WHY did I find myself ravenously hungry at 140, when I was still consuming the same amount of calories that had satisfied me at 240? I thought I was crazy until I read about ghrelin. When I learned that our bodies produce hormones that increase our appetites in response to calorie restriction and weight loss, the light bulb came on. Rats who are fed until they are completely satiated will go on a feeding frenzy when injected with ghrelin. It is part of the reason that 95% of the people who go on a diet gain all the weight back plus some. I researched every possible avenue looking for a way to turn my hunger hormones down, so that my own body couldn't continue to sabotage my efforts to maintain a weight loss. If I had been able to find a solution to the problem, I would not have elected to have this surgery. Even so, I understand (and share) the other's concerns about your eating history. It's impossible to predict how someone who is used to eating 6 pounds of broccoli would respond emotionally to a surgery that would restrict them to eating around 1/4-1/2 cup of food. There is no changing your mind once it's done. Sadly, I understand your distress about feeling constantly hungry and wanting to find some way to maintain a healthy weight before it climbs higher. I wish I had found an answer when I weighed 119, instead of feeling compelled to have this surgery because I was weighing in at 283 and felt like it was my only hope. I wouldn't presume to know what the answer is for you, since I clearly did not have solutions that worked for myself. It's possible that you have a mental health problem. It's also possible that you are living in a body that has been producing exceptionally high levels of ghrelin in response to all your yoyo dieting, or that you have some combination of physiological problems. It sounds like your first step should be to find a really good doctor who is knowledgable in these areas.

A 6????!!!! And from a 3x????!!!! Wow! What an inspiration to all of us! It's great to hear that you've had a good year. It's only been 4 weeks for me, and I'm just beginning to get a little energy back--so it's very encouraging to hear your story. Keep up the great work!

I haven't had any issues with wiping, but I have a very large friend that has chronic sores and partially healing scabs on her hand because she has difficulty wiping without her hand being scraped on the toilet seat. She hasn't had surgery, but I can see that someone like her that was already having trouble might have a more difficult time after surgery because of the restriction on twisting.

Great NSV moment yesterday. I went to my daughter's graduation, and we all know how those things go--there are a million cars and you have to walk for miles to get from your car to wherever you are supposed to sit...Two months ago, I would have struggled to make the walk at all, and I definitely would have had to wear sneakers with an orthotic insert. Well not only was I able to make the walk easily--I wore some cute normal sandles that I haven't been able to wear for over 2 years because I had too much pain in my feet. WhooHoo!

Thanks for your post and congratulations on having the smarts to talk about your feelings rather than chase after someone who didn't care enough to check on you after your surgery. You deserve better than that. I know what it feels like to be alone. I'm 54 and my husband died in 2007 after fighting a brain tumor for 8 years--but truthfully, in most respects, I was without a partner long before he actually died. Losing weight isn't going to guarantee that any of us will have improved relationships or find partners. But it will definitely improve our health, our self-esteem, our appearance, our self-confidence and make it a whole lot more likely not just that we "get picked", but that you have the power to do the "picking" yourself. And it's probably a solid bet that the person you would pick when you feel like a lovely swan is NOT going to be the same person that you might settle for when you feel like the ugly duckling! My vote would be that the guy is going to swallow his tongue when he sees you in a year and you just aren't interested.

I bought a couple 22 oz plastic tumblers. I fill one in the morning and remind myself that it has to be gone by noon, I start a new one at noon, and then have a third one before I go to bed. It feels like I sip constantly to get it all in. If I have to leave the house, the tumblers go with me in the car. Yesterday was really difficult because I had to attend my daughter's college graduation. I took my tumbler in the car, but didn't want to take it into the gym. I should have taken a water bottle instead, because sitting for 3 hours without sipping made it very hard to get all the fluids in later and still eat anything.

I had a severe reaction to every type of tape/bandage I used. I had a dressing longer than some because I came home with a drain for 1 1/2 weeks, and inspite of my trying to move the dressing/tape each day, the skin was breaking down. By the time I was able to stop using dressings to cover the drain wound, I had raw spots all over my abdomen where the skin was just gone because of the tape. I used a lot of polysporin to prevent infections and tried to keep any old adhesive cleaned off my skin. I have heard that there is a hypo-allergenic paper surgical tape (Micropore) made by 3m. If I had know how much trouble I was going to have in the long-run, I would have tried it immediately.

My confession is that I feel like I've spent most of my adult life taking care of sick people, and I feel angry and discouraged when I think about everything that it has cost me. My children have had serious health problems. My husband had a brain tumor and died after 8 years of trips all over the country, 13 specialized surgeries, and proton beam treatments. I closed my private practice as a LMHC to take care of my husband, and now I don't have a job or an office to go back to. So I'm worried about money. I could start over, but I don't want to do mental health counseling anymore. Maybe I have compassion fatigue--but it seems to go deeper than that. I want time to enjoy life and have fun. I'm afraid that the "best years" of my life are behind me, and truthfully, they were so filled with pain, that I want time to live more of the life that I feel like I've missed. I know that I don't "need a man" because I learned to take care of myself and everyone else in the family too. But I don't really want to grow old feeling this alone. I'm afraid that I'll never have sex again...never even hold hands again. AND NOW...I've voluntarily let someone remove 85% of my stomach and I can't even enjoy a meal. I chose this for myself because it was a vote for life and for a better future...but I'm scared that I have made a choice that will steal one more thing from me without really making a positive difference.

I live in Florida, but I didn't use the leave act, so I don't much about loopholes. I do know that when my husband was being treated for a brain tumor, he was out of work for a long time and we were told to fill out all that paperwork to protect his job. Also, I'm a mental health counselor, and I have filled out forms for people who were in treatment facilities for months, and their job were protected.

Good for you! I had surgery for health reasons too, and even though my surgery was only 4 weeks ago, a lot of my problems are resolving already. Off BP medication. Able to walk with less pain in feet. Sleeping better without numbness in hands and feet. Down 31 pounds. Yea!

It has only been 4 weeks since my surgery--but I can tell you that it sounds like I felt a lot like you when I was at 2 weeks I kept trying to reassure myself, but I was fighting a lot of fear that things wouldn't improve and I would be stuck feeling miserable and never able to eat regular food again. Anyway, I'm feeling much better now. I still can't eat very much, and I'm being careful to eat mushies and chew very well--but I'm not having as much discomfort as I did 2 weeks ago, and the improvement has helped me feel calmer and more confident about the future!

Glad to hear you are home! It sounds like you are doing really well. Yea and Congratulations!

If you know that you are prone to nausea/vomiting after surgery, talk to the anesthesiologist ahead of time. I asked them to give me everything possible to keep me from vomiting, and he said they would "throw the kitchen sink" at me. It worked, I was nauseous--but I just asked for meds and didn't vomit once. I had prescriptions from my surgeon ahead of time for Zophran and Phenergan suppositories. I only needed the Phenergan one time after I came home, but I took the Zophran at bedtime for almost a month because if I didn't, I would wake up nauseated. After the 1st couple weeks, I was only taking 1/2 tab, then down to 1/4, now not at all.

Someone chatting the other night mentioned that there were instructions on how to do the ticker under the "Forums" link. I looked and found a step by step tutorial with clear instructions and even some pictures. Congratulations on your surgery!

Congratulations on the first month! I was sleeved on 3/30, so just a few days before you. My first weeks were rough too--and I was only working part-time. I rested and slept a lot. Couldn't eat much of anything. Felt weak and kind of trapped with no way out most of the time. A month really has made a huge difference--this week has been a real turning point for me. I think being able to eat a little more, and being able to have foods that I could chew and enjoy has helped with my energy level and my mood. I've been able to get out and shop a little, and work in the yard...Just in general I'm starting to feel better most of the time. Can't wait to see what the next month brings for both of us!

If you know that you are taking small bites and chewing your food carefully, I would talk to your doctor about not being able to eat regular food without discomfort. I would think that things would be easier by 4 months, and if not, I would want to know why. One of the less common complications that can occur with this surgery is that you can have scar tissue form in the sleeve that will make the sleeve smaller than the actual bougie size that was used. I have read that it is possible for them to do a procedure to dialate the opening if necessary. You didn't have this surgery so that you could spend the rest of your life drinking Atkins shakes. As far as your weight loss--I looked at a calendar and it seems to me that at the time of your post, it had been 15 weeks since your surgery. A 65 pound weight loss in that amount of time is an average of 4.33 pounds per week. That's amazing! It's even more amazing for a female who only has 64 more pounds to lose. You don't need to let go of your goal--you need to relax the expectations you've placed on your body to lose so quickly. I have a "lifetime key" at Weight Watchers and I worked as a counselor at Diet Center. I've lost around 100 pounds 3 different times--just gained it right back (plus some), and I'm hoping my sleeve will end that. What I can tell you is this: Sleeve or no sleeve, the smaller your body gets, and the longer you have dieted, the slower your weight loss tends to be. Swift's suggestion to increase your calories every 3rd day should help, but that said, even if you average a loss of 1 pound a week, that would still add up to 52 pounds in the next year! You may feel like the tortise when you hear how quickly other people reach their goals--but we aren't competing with each other--we're are all racing to beat the fat monster that has stolen our lives and self-esteem. And don't we all wish that could happen more quickly...

I use software called "Diet Power" that is wonderful. It has a huge database of foods already in the program, and you can add any food you want to, complete with all the nutritional information. You can build recipes using any foods that are in the database and the program will calculate nutritional info on any amount you enter. I used it the last time I lost weight, so I've had it for several years. It will calculate my daily totals of protein, carbs, etc. There are a lot of little tricks that make it easy to use--for example, you can create your own list of favorite foods based on what you normally eat. Then when you want to enter your foods for the day, you don't even have to look them up from the dictionary--you just drag them from your favorites list and put in the amount you ate. Since I've had this surgery, it's been a huge help. It's not expensive--29.95 with a free 15 day trial download at www.dietpower.com

No personal experience with a leak, but from what I have heard, the thing that is most likely to result in a leak along the staple line is vomiting because of the force/pressure involved. I met a lady in the hospital who developed a leak--and hearing her story made me want to be extra careful about not overeating/drinking or doing anything that could upset my incision line. My MD does 2 leak tests in the hospital, sends you home with a drain and then uses that drain to do another leak test at 1.5 weeks post op. I asked him how long the risk of leakage would last, and he said he knew of one patient that developed a leak 4 months after surgery. I avoid anyone that is sick like they have the plague (the last thing I want is a stomach virus or cough) and work hard to protect that tender little pouch!

Congratulations! Can't wait to hear back from you as the pounds start melting away!

STUNNING was the exact word I had in mind too! I hope you have a wonderful time!

Congratulations! My surgery was 3/30 and I was down by 31 pounds this morning too! We are doing great and isn't it wonderful???!!! Before I started, I made a big chart with graph paper and I mark each pound lost with a red marker line going down a pound. I get it out a couple times a day and smile at the plunging red line and anticipate where I will be in the near future.

Just watched your vlog. You took a giant leap and now you are on the other side and heading down the mountain. The fat's going to start melting off of you! My surgery was 3/30 and I had less than 2 weeks of the pre-op diet. This morning I was down by 31 pounds!

Well it was 4 weeks ago today that I was sleeved. My recovery has been different than what I expected. I'm not stranger to surgery--I've had 2 c-sections, a tubal, and my gall bladder removed, and I've always bounced back very quickly. This surgery has taken me longer...I haven't taken pain medication since I came home the day after the surgery--but I just haven't had any energy. Maybe in part because I'm getting older (54)...and also it's been a challenge to get in all my liquids, and enough protein and part of feeling weak and tired is about not being able to take in very many calories. I'm up and doing some things, but not pushing myself too hard. My hope is that I will start to feel more energetic when I can eat a little more. Even though I don't feel super perky, I'm optimistic that this is going to get better as my healing continues. I'm down 29 pounds now and wearing smaller clothes. That's a huge victory because the only place in my area that I could buy a size 28 was Catherines which was an hour away from where I live. Last weekend I was able to shop at the mall in my own town because I'm wearing 24's which you can get in regular department stores. Sleeping better, walking better, and no BP medication. I'm eating "mushies" now--and that feels like a huge improvement. I am surprised by the tiny amount that I'm able to eat. Occasionally it might be 1/2 cup--but more often, it's about 1/4-1/3 cup. I don't really feel physically hungry very often--but I still feel kind of anxious about not being able to eat more food. I'm trusting that my surgeon knows what he's doing. He said that the stomach capacity usually doubles by the end of the first year, and triples by the end of the third year. If that's correct, then it makes sense to start out with a smaller pouch so that you end up with a reasonably small pouch for the long haul. I'm graphing my weight loss and it's wonderful to watch the red line moving down the page. It does still feel a little overwhelming to know that I have another 110 pounds to go. Just trying to relax and enjoy the journey.

I didn't have a lot of incisional pain. I went home the day after surgery and never even took tylenol after I got home. BUT...I had pretty awful chest and shoulder pain from the gas for about 24 hours. Because it was right after surgery, they gave me pain medication and I slept throught most of it. It was scariest when I was in recovery and I felt like I couldn't breathe and told them I thought I was having a heart attack. They did EKG's--said my heart was AOK--and gave me pain meds. I don't think most people have that much trouble with gas. Anyway, it was very time-limited.

HaHaHa. Swift, I didn't have anything but ice chips for the first 24 hours after my surgery, then all of a sudden, this militant chic marched in with a cup filled with about 8 oz of water and blue dye and told me that I had to drink it to the line she marked (about 6 oz) in less than 20 minutes for my 1st leak test. I looked at her like she was crazy and told her she'd better add some Phenergan to my Zophran. Then they wheeled me down to X-ray and wanted me to drink barium for the second leak test. I was so loaded up on Phenergan that I almost fell over during the test. I was glad to get home and sip the night away...